Fair enough,I don't take your post as victim bashing(we have a dealer round our way who incidentally also has a 6yr old and has had all manner of people round,and I have mused on the what ifs on more than one occaision).
I can only imagine her father has said these same things to himself every day since and will do forever I would think(who wouldn't?!).
Thanks for replying,I was curious as to whether this was the reason(I understand completely) or if as I see in a lot of cases people tend to think a mother's grief is somehow more than a fathers.