The trial of Lucy Letby, who denies murdering seven babies at the Countess of Chester Hospital neonatal unit and attempting to murder 10 more, is…
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- Trial of Lucy Letby, in 26th week before a jury, continues
- Defence expected to begin their case today
- Letby denies murdering seven babies at the Countess of Chester Hospital neonatal unit and attempting to murder 10 more
5:00pm
Court artist sketch by Elizabeth Cook of Lucy Letby being questioned by her defence Lawyer Benjamin Myers in the dock at Manchester Crown Court.
(Image: Elizabeth Cook.)
4:06pm
That will, the court hears, begin on Friday.
The trial is adjourned until then.
3:57pm
Mr Myers says the case will next discuss the case of Child A.
3:54pm
Mr Myers refers to the number, and length, of the police interviews which took place with Letby following her arrests - "in excess of 21 hours".
Letby said the process of recollecting was "extremely difficult", and she relied "heavily" on police's explanations for what happened.
Mr Myers: "Have you ever tried to kill any baby you cared for?"
"No."
Have you tried to intentionally harm any baby as is alleged?
"No, never."
Letby denies using insulin, overfeeding, forcing air or committing a physical assault to intentionally harm a baby.
3:50pm
Mr Myers says that concludes his questions on items found at the addresses.
He says his attention will next turn to the cases of the babies themselves.
He asks about Letby's recollection of the events in general.
Letby agrees that, like several of the witnesses who have come into court, her memory of the events is not as clear as it was seven or eight years ago.
3:47pm
Letby says the handover notes would have stayed in her bags from the last days of her working on the neonatal unit in 2016.
A photo of a cupboard at Letby's parents' home in Hereford is shown to the court. The cupboard is in Letby's bedroom.
The box is labelled 'keep' and contained five handover sheets not relating to babies in the indictment.
Mr Myers asks why those handover sheets were there. Letby replies she was not sure. Letby said she had never fully moved out of her parents' home, so items would go back to that home. She said she did not know she had them.
3:43pm
Letby says she would "inadvertently" bring home handover notes from work.
3:42pm
A photo of a Morrisons bag is shown to the court. It was recovered from Letby's home. It was Letby's 'work bag'.
An 'Ibiza bag' replaced the Morrisons bag for Letby. It was used for taking her uniform to work, her lunchbox, work documents and shoes.
The Morrisons bag had 31 handover notes, 17 relating to babies in the indictment.
Letby says she did not know when, how they came to be in her bag. She says they came in "by mistake" as part of her general pattern of behaviour.
3:40pm
Letby says she is "not good at all" at throwing away bits of paper.
Letby adds she was aware the police might get involved in the investigation, but did not think to remove any documents. She says she did not know she had them.
3:38pm
Letby says she did not know how many handover notes she had kept at her home. She says they were not all in one place.
She said they would stay in the pocket of her uniform, where it would be on shift, and she would not dispose of it prior to leaving.
"It would just get put somewhere"
"Anywhere in particular?" "No."
The number of handover sheets totalled 257.
Mr Myers: "Did you ever think to yourself, blimey, I have got a lot of handover sheets, I had better get rid of them?"
Letby: "No."
Letby says the notes had no purpose at home and she did not think of them.
Mr Myers says a shredder was found at Letby's home. Letby had previously told police in interview she did not have a shredder. Asked about this, Letby says it was an "oversight", and the shredder had come into her possession quite recently.
3:34pm
The other side of the sheet of paper is shown to the court.
The words are largely written as a note in relation to Letby's office role.
Within the 'office speak', there is 'Help me', encircled.
Letby says: "That is what I wanted". Also circled is the word 'tired'.
3:33pm
The words 'I want to die' are written elsewhere, multiple times. Letby says that was the way she felt at the time.
3:32pm
A further note is shown, with very tightly written writing in different directions, to the court. It is written by Lucy Letby.
The note 'started off as a work-based role' note, with words of 'handover', 'audit', 'workforce', 'scheduling', 'timeframe'.
A close-up of the bottom-left corner is shown, with writing in different directions.
Words include 'Bombay' [written several times] - Letby's pub quiz team name. A colleague's name is written - 'people who were important to me'. A name of Letby's high school teacher is also written.
A crossed-out section is also shown. Behind the crossed-out part, Mr Myers tries to identify the words: 'I don't know if I killed them. Maybe I did, Maybe this is all down to me'. Letby agrees those are the words.
Letby says this is how she was feeling at the time. She says crossing it out is 'just something she would do - a way of me processing and dealing with things'.
She says at the time 'I hated myself'.
She says 'This is how I was made to feel, that I had done something wrong'.
The words are 'very random, very sporadic...there is no structure to them as such.'
3:25pm
The trial resumes after a short break.
3:10pm
A diary entry for April 12, 2016 is for meeting friends at her new home, including one of her work colleagues.
Shifts for April 15-17 were changed from 'N' to 'LD'.
Further social engagements are noted for Tatton Park, Las Iguanas, salsa in Mold.
Notes on May 2016 show, in blue ink on an 'LD' shift, the first names of two babies not on the indictment.
Letby says those names were written as something notable had happened. A note on May 14 also has the name of a student nurse, which Letby says was 'documented' as it was important at work when mentoring took place.
3:05pm
Asked why the name of a particular baby is featured on one of the days in the diary, Letby replies: "Something has stood out for that baby...it was for my own reflection."
3:03pm
Notes of social engagements are shown to the court - including a meet-up at the Stretton Fox pub with colleagues, salsa in Buckley, a meal at Zizzis and a concert to see Ellie Goulding.
The notes are in different inks. Letby says blue ink would usually be used for work-related commitments.
Mr Myers, making reference to Letby's house move: "How big a thing was it to have this house?"
Letby: "Oh it was huge, a big milestone."
2:58pm
Letby says she has "always kept a diary", and would document her work shifts, activities, appointments, "everything really".
Pages from Letby's 2016 diary are shown to the court. One is from February 29-March 6.
For March, there is the first name of a patient. Letby says she would note the name for own records. 'LD' would mean long day, 'N', would mean night shift.
The shifts include the names of a patient of 'something significant', or something which she had learned, from that day.
2:52pm
A further note is shown to the court, featuring a lot of names.
One of the names is 'Whiskey', the name of Letby's former pet dog.
Mr Myers: "Why are you writing these names over and over again?"
Letby: "Because they are important people to me and they were on my mind. At the time I had a limited support network."
The names include colleagues and the names of Letby's cats.
Mr Myers is asked why there are different coloured inks on the note. Letby replies the note would have been added to at different times.
Letby is asked about the word 'LOVE', which is in a rectangle. Letby replies "it was for the love of the people that were important to me".
2:48pm
Asked about a swear word on the note, which Letby says she does not normally swear, she says it was directed at Dr Ravi Jayaram and Dr Stephen Breary, "because of the things they have been saying about me".
2:47pm
This note is now shown to the court.
Letby says, for her care given to babies: "I only ever did my best"
Asked what it felt like to be accused of what she did, Letby replies: "I don't think you can really put it into words, it was devastating and it changed my whole life."
2:45pm
Re: 'HELP' - Letby says, tearfully: "I wanted someone to help me at that point, but nobody could help me."
2:44pm
Much of the note, Letby tells the court, is written for the anniversary of the death of one of the babies.
Re: 'We tried our best but it wasn't enough' - Letby says the note was written as 'we' - the 'team'. She says it was not written for anyone in particular, and was written after she was being blamed for baby deaths.
Re: 'I can't do it any more' - Letby is asked what she means by 'it', she means 'life'.
2:42pm
Letby says she would struggle to decipher some of the notes.
One of the notes says 'Lovewasallweneeded'. Letby says they refer to Craig David lyrics from a 2016 song, and were just on her mind.
She refers to a doctor colleague as 'my best friend' in the note. Letby says that was the case at the time.
Letby says the notes have 'no sort of structure...' and they are repetitive.
The name 'Kathryn de Beger' refers to a woman in occupational health.
2:36pm
Letby says prior to her arrest, she had been on a family holiday with her parents.
The handbags contained three notes which have previously been shown to the court.
This was one of the notes, which Letby says contain random thoughts which were "sporadically written".
2:34pm
An image of Letby's 2016 diary is shown, with the sheets of paper kept in the diary. The green post-it note, 'Not good enough', was in there, as well as a vaccination record for one of the two cats, Smudge.
Another photo of Letby's bedroom is shown. It shows two handbags. One was pink and 'daily' used for work, and the other was smaller, black and for 'casual, social' use.
2:32pm
A photo of the downstairs living area is shown to the court, with a cupboard shown containing a number of files and paper documents, plus DVDs.
The records of Letby's two cats at the time, 'Tigger and Smudge', are also documented. Letby becomes emotional at recalling this.
Letby says she kept everything from her training, and were in folders.
2:29pm
The inside of Letby's house is now shown to the court, featuring the living room, stairs, dining room, kitchen, and a noticeboard is displayed.
It contained 'photographs, various letters that were important to me'.
A note 'No. 1 godmother awarded to Lucy Letby!' is made by one of Lucy Letby's godchildren. Another note from another godchild is shown.
Also on the noticeboard are photos of family members and a mock-up front page of The Telegraph featuring her parents, the headline 'Hay Festival Exclusive'.
Also on the board is a photo of Lucy Letby, as a band 5 nurse, with two nursing colleagues.
On the landing area stairway, there is a photo of Lucy Letby and her two cousins, and a photo of her two godchildren.
A photo of Letby's bedroom is shown to the court, with the bedspread 'Sweet Dreams' displayed.
Cuddly toys are on the bed, of Winnie-the-Pooh and other characters.
Letby becomes tearful as a photo is shown of the scene after police had investigated the bedroom.
2:22pm
A photo of the front of Letby's house and her car is shown to the court.
Presented with the photo, Letby says it is "quite difficult" to look at them.
Photos of Letby's back garden from Westbourne Road are shown to the court.
A photo of Letby's garage is shown to the court.
"All that stuff in there, is that yours?"
Letby says some of it is, some were tools that belonged to her dad.
2:20pm
A page from Letby's 2016 diary is shown from April. It has the note 'out of Ash H'. Letby says that is the time she moved from Ash House to her house in Westbourne Road.
Messages between Letby and a colleague on April 8 mention her 'unpacking! Stuff everywhere lol'.
Letby says she was "very preoccupied" with sorting the house out that weekend.
2:17pm
Letby is asked about staying at Ash House, hospital accommodation for staff. She confirms she stayed there, moving out 'around June 2015'.
For a time, Letby says she moved to a flat 'in town' in 2015, before moving back into Ash House 'towards the end of 2015'.
A page from Letby's 2015 diary is shown. A note, '*Ash House*', is on June 1, 2015. It is clarified that Letby had moved back to Ash House in June 2015, having moved out for 'about six months'.
The judge says this is 'not a memory test'.
2:12pm
The number of Facebook searches in May 2016 is 164 and it's 233 for June 2016. For the latter month, none feature any searches for the names of parents of babies in the indictment.
Letby denies there is any 'sinister' reason why she should be looking up the names of parents of babies.
Letby adds she was "always" on her phone in her spare time.
2:09pm
The total number of Facebook searches in October 2015 is 173.
One of the days, November 5, 2015, there are nine searches in nine minutes. Most are social and two are the names of mothers of children from Liverpool Women's Hospital neonatal unit.
Letby says it would not be unusual for her to make several searches in a few minutes on somebody on Facebook. "That would be normal for me".
The total number of searches in November 2015 is 277. Five of those related to parents of children in the indictment.
The total number of searches in December 2015 is 211. In January 2016, it's 199, in February it is 178.
Mr Myers: "Generally speaking, would your pattern of searches be consistent across the month?"
Letby: "Yes."
2:04pm
Mr Myers asks about further Facebook searches carried out by Lucy Letby.
Asked why she would carry a search for one of her nursing colleagues she regularly worked with, Letby replies it was someone who would have been on her mind.
2:00pm
The trial is now resuming.
1:49pm
A round-up story from this morning in court:
Lucy Letby tells court it was ‘sickening’ being blamed for baby deaths
1:11pm
Court sketch by Elizabeth Cook of Lucy Letby wiping away tears as she gives evidence at Manchester Crown Court. In the background is trial judge Mr Justice James Goss.
(Image: PA)
12:57pm
One of the searches was for a fundraising challenge, which Letby says would have been to raise money for hospital equipment, or for the new neonatal unit.
In July 2015, the total number of Facebook searches was 70. In August 2015, it was 175. The number of searches in September 2015 is 209.
12:54pm
Mr Myers clarifies, following a question from the judge, that some of the social names, or 'other mother of child from LWH NNU', or 'other mother of child from COCH NNU', which have all been redacted to the court, are duplicates.
In other words, Letby would search for many of the names on Facebook more than once.
12:51pm
Letby says it would be "general curiosity" why she would look up the names of parents.
She adds it was a "normal" thing for her and she would do it "frequently".
12:50pm
As an example, on June 9, 2015, in addition to a search for the mother's name of Child A and Child B, Letby carried out searches for three social contacts, two staffing colleagues - Ashleigh Hudson and David Harkness, and the name of a mother from a child from Liverpool Women's Hospital neonatal unit.
Letby says, for the various searches, they were people "on my mind" at that moment.
The 'social' names would be ones she'd met at salsa, school friends, people she had met socially.
The total number of Facebook searches made by Lucy Letby in June 2015 was 113.
12:46pm
An agreed piece of evidence is now shown to the court. It is titled 'Facebook searches by Lucy Letby June 2015-June 2016'.
The searches include the ones previously referred to in court, searching for the parents of babies named in the indictment, plus - on those same days - the Facebook searches for other babies' parents' names, work colleagues, and social and non-work related matters.
12:42pm
Letby is asked about how well staff could get to know families. Letby says those families could be there for several months.
She agrees she would also get to know families of babies not on the indictment.
She says she would not be the only nurse to keep in touch with families after they have been discharged.
She agrees she has looked for parents on Facebook.
Mr Myers asks about her Facebook usage.
"I was always on my phone."
Letby says she would look up many names "out of curiosity", such as colleagues, people she had met at salsa. They would be people who were "just on my mind".
She agrees she has also looked up names of parents on Facebook for babies not named in the indictment.
12:38pm
Letby says she and other staff would "regularly use" their phones when at work.
The general rule would be not to use the phones in clinical areas. Anywhere outside of the nurseries was acceptable, the court hears.
12:36pm
Letby is asked about activities outside of work.
She says she had quite an active social life, attending salsa classes, going on holiday with friends, going to the gym.
She would meet friends after work - she lists five colleagues, four of them nurses and one doctor, as people she would meet socially.
"They were the only form of support I had, really."
She is asked about the doctor.
He started in 2015 as a registrar, Letby explains. They started knowing each other through work, then would meet socially.
"Was it a friendship?"
"Yes."
"Was it anything more?"
"No."
The friendship was close, Letby agrees.
Sometimes he would come to her house, and they would go out, and would go for walks.
He had since ended work at the Countess, the court hears.
Their friendship continued until the early part of 2018, and then "fizzled out", the court hears.
12:32pm
Asked about the death of babies for staff, personally, Letby says: "It was very upsetting - you don't forget things like that, they stay with you."
12:32pm
A staff debrief would be held, "not always", and led by the consultant, following the death of a baby on the unit.
All staff would be invited to attend. It could be held 'days or weeks' following the baby's death.
12:30pm
A checklist is shown for Child A. Lucy Letby's signature is present on the entries. She was the designated nurse.
The checklist includes 'hand and foot prints', 'lock of hair taken', 'having religious support', 'taking photos', 'baby dressed in own clothes'.
The note includes a 'memory box', which would, Letby tells the court, be a box donated by neonatal charities and be a storage box for the hand/foot prints, a lock of hair, and a teddy bear - one for the baby, one for the family to keep.
12:27pm
Lucy Letby says staff had to "be professional and carry on" in caring for the babies who were on the unit.
For families, support on offer would come from nurses who had a bereavement guideline. "Largely it would be from the nurses".
"We would support them as much as we possibly can".
The 'bereavement checklist' was formal guidance, and that would include collecting memories for the family. It would normally be the designated nurse for that baby to compile such memories, Letby explains.
12:25pm
Mr Myers now refers to the babies in the case, asking general questions.
He asks about when there is a death on the unit.
Letby says the death "does have an impact on everyone on the unit", as it was a small unit. Everyone would have different reactions to it.
She says there would be "nothing formal" as a means of support to deal with such instances, but there would be support among the colleagues. Messages would be exchanged among staff.
There was "no form of support", and no formal structured assistance, the court hears.
Moving to a day shift in 2016 did not help, Letby says, and Mr Myers says she continued to work nights anyway.
12:22pm
Between June 2015-June 2016, Letby was "generally well" and did not have any sick days off.
The court hears Letby had optic neuritis - an inflammation of the optic nerve, which causes pain and blurred vision. Letby said she had that in 2015 and received treatment for it at the Countess and the Walton Centre. Letby said her condition resolved itself.
12:19pm
Letby says they had not encountered a baby on that unit before with chest drains requirements, or stomas, or haemophilia, as they did during June 2015-June 2016.
Letby says she would, "quite often", do more shifts as overtime, after being asked to do so, than her typical monthly quota.
She says "at times it could be very short notice", sometimes from lunchtime and being asked to cover that night.
She says she would not know in advance which babies she would be caring for. Mr Myers asks if it's possible to ask for a particular baby to care for. Letby says it's possible, usually to facilitate continuity of care.
12:16pm
The chart goes into the times of which nursing staff carried out what for Child B up to the point of Child B's collapse.
Mr Myers refers to prescriptions for Child B. Lucy Letby explains two nurses would be required for the signatures of prescriptions.
Mr Myers asks about June 2015-June 2016. Letby says the time was "much busier" than previous years. "We seemed to have babies with a lot more complex needs."
Letby says staffing levels were not changed to accommodate for this.
12:12pm
Mr Myers refers to the neonatal review for Child B. This was a document compiled by police which compiled which nursing staff did what for each baby. They include dates and times for observations, prescriptions and feeds.
Lucy Letby says the times are approximate to the nearest quarter of an hour, such as 'weaning change'. A note at 9.30pm of a feed given and an observation would be an approximate time for both. The court hears it is not a precision time for both, as those are two separate activites carried out by the same nurse.
Asked about the time between these charts, Lucy Letby explains nursing staff would be busy elsewhere, communicating with families, responding to alarms and other duties, in addition to set tasks as designated by the shift leader.
12:04pm
Mr Myers asks about blood gas tests for babies.
A blood gas test result for Child Q is shown to the court.
Lucy Letby explains the process on how a blood gas test is obtained, causing a prick on to the heel and getting the blood sample into "a very small tube". A second member of staff would run the sample through a machine outside of the nursery rooms, to obtain the result.
"It would usually be a different member of staff" as the first nurse would stay with the baby to check the bleeding stops.
The blood gas machine would be "down the corridor from room 1". Occasionally, if the machine was broken, an alternative machine on the labour ward would be used.
12:00pm
Mr Myers asks about feeding babies at the neonatal unit.
Lucy Letby explains the process of administering milk, saying you would "aspirate the NG Tube first" and testing the acidity of the contents of the stomach.
Asked if that is a process done every time, Letby responds: "No."
The process of feeding a couple of millilitres would take "only a few minutes". For larger babies, it would again be done by gravity feeding, but a dose of 40mls [as an example] would take "10-15 minutes".
The process would be via 10ml syringes so the baby would be fed 10mls at a time.
As a lot of the babies were premature, the process of feeding would take longer, and for a 40ml bottle feed, the process would take about 'half an hour'.
11:56am
The trial is now resuming.
11:54am
The court is currently having a short break.
The judge, Mr Justice James Goss, has explained to the jury that as Lucy Letby will be giving evidence throughout a long day, the breaks will be slightly longer at 15 minutes. The break for lunch is expected to remain at its usual time of 1pm.
11:40am
Mr Myers refers to an intensive care chart for Child Q. The final set of observations, at midnight, has no initialled signature.
The signatures can be 'missed from time to time', the court hears.
11:36am
Letby adds that for each observation, "ideally" it would be signed off with the nurse's initials.
In the "reality" of a busy shift, it "happens to everybody" that an initialled signature could be occasionally left off the bottom of the observation chart.
The chart shown does not have initialled signatures for three of the readings. One is from a student nurse.
Asked if that would indicate something "sinister", Letby says it would not.
A second chart is shown, where there is a gap at 4am on an observation reading for the signature initials. None of the signatures are Letby's.
Asked if there is anything "sinister or strange" about this, Letby says it is not.
Mr Myers repeats this for an intensive care chart. Letby says there is nothing sinister about a lack of a signature for one of the readings.
11:30am
Mr Myers refers to an observation chart for Child O, with observations for heart rate, temperature and respirations.
Letby explains how the readings would be taken.
The routine observations would take "a couple of minutes".
11:27am
Asked about the notes, Letby says "ideally", they would be disposed of at the end of a shift in the confiential waste bin.
Letby says she would normally store the handover sheets in her pocket, and as a result would take them home.
The court has previously heard several handover notes were found at Letby's home at the time of her arrests.
Asked about the timings of the notes made, Letby says they would be as accurate as they could be made, and the prescriptions would be accurate "to the minute". The nursing notes would be approximations.
11:25am
Mr Myers asks about an example, for one of Child I, a note written by Letby at 8.43am, at the end of Letby's shift.
Letby explains she would have made notes on paper prior to writing them on the terminal, as a retrospective note, at the end of her shift.
Letby explains there are nursing notes and family communication notes, which are separate. The former are clinical notes, the latter specifically for family.
11:22am
Mr Myers asks about the notes being made retrospectively, usually at the end of a shift and can cover a period of several hours.
Letby says, to remember what had happened through the course of a shift for a baby, her retrospective notes to be documented would be compiled from a mixture of documentation at the time and notes she had written on the back of her handover sheet.
11:20am
Mr Myers asks about the electronic system nurses used to take notes, which would be inputted on terminals in the unit.
One would be in room 1, Letby explains, the others would be outside the rooms.
Each staff had specific login details to input notes.
11:18am
At the time, Letby and one other band 5 nurse had the QIS training. During June 2015-June 2016, another band 5 nurse acquired QIS training. Band 6 nurses all had QIS training.
During a typical shift, Letby explains, there would be two band 6 nurses on duty, plus one band 5 nurse with QIS training.
Letby says there would be "a lot of" intensive care babies on the unit, and Letby would be looking after them, having had the experience of looking after babies in a 'Level 3 centre' at Liverpool.
The court has previously heard the Countess of Chester Hospital neonatal unit was level 2.
Letby said she was "very flexible", and had been on hospital overnight accommodation prior to getting her house.
She said she "did enjoy" the intensive care side, and she made other nurses aware that was her area of perference and where she was "most happy".
She denies saying other areas of her work, in non-intensive care areas on the unit, were "boring". She does not recall ever having an argument with anyone about where she should be working.
11:13am
Mr Myers says for two of the babies in the case, there was a student being mentored, under Lucy Letby's supervision and guidance.
Letby says it would depend on their training stage, but it would be under her direct supervision.
Letby obtained her 'QIS' qualification allowing her to look after intensive care babies, following a university module, which included a placement at Liverpool Women's Hospital involving hands-on clinical experience. The six-month course concluded in March/April 2015.
11:10am
Letby adds she completed a mentorship course so when students came in, she could be their sole mentor at work. She qualified as a mentor "fairly early on", 'probably in 2012.'
She says she "really enjoyed that aspect".
11:09am
Asked about how much she valued her nursing work: "Massively, it was everything...and I always strived to go on every course, to be the best I could."
11:08am
Mr Myers says he will go through the background material for Letby first, then talk through the cases involving the babies.
Letby is asked about the Countess of Chester Hospital, and working there.
She says her first placement on the neonatal unit was in 2010. As a full-time qualified nurse, her first work there was in January 2012.
At that time, she was qualified to care for special care and high dependency babies - 'predominantly in nursery rooms 3 and 4'.
11:05am
Re: 'I killed them on purpose because I am not good enough to care for them, I am a horrible evil person'.
Asked what she means by that note, Letby responds: "I [felt as though I] hadn't been good enough and in some way I had failed [in my duties, my competencies]...that was insinuated to me."
Re: 'I AM EVIL I DID THIS' - "I felt at the time if I had done something wrong, I must have been an awful person..."
Letby says she feared she may have been "incompetent" and because of that, she had "harmed those babies".
She adds she could not understand "why this happened to me".
She says, looking back, she was "really struggling" at the time of writing the note.
11:00am
Re: 'HATE' and 'Hate myself for what this has' - "At the time, I did hate myself".
She says she was made to feel incompetent in some way.
She says her mental health at the time of writing this note was "poor".
She says it was "difficult", with the "isolation I felt", and this lasted "two years".
10:58am
re: 'I am an awful person...', Letby said at the time she did feel an awful person as she was worried she had made any mistakes.
She said she was being taken away from the job she loved for things she had not done.
She adds, at the time, she could not see a future for herself, in relation to 'I'll never children or marry'.
She says "my whole situation felt hopeless, at times".
10:56am
Letby says she had written "I haven't done anything wrong" because she hadn't done anything wrong.
She said in the "worst case scenario", the police would get involved.
Re: 'slander and discrimination', she says that was how she felt the trust was towards her in regard to the allegations.
10:55am
10:53am
Mr Myers asks about notes.
Letby says, about her notes, "it's something I have done my whole life".
She adds she has "difficulties" throwing things away, and that includes notes.
Mr Myers asks about one of the notes she had written. Letby says she does not have a precise date of when she had written it - between July 2016 and July 2018. The note is headlined 'Not good enough'.
10:51am
She says the journey to and from court, from prison, is about an hour and a half each way.
Letby has been at court each day throughout the trial.
She says she usually returns to prison at 7pm from court.
10:50am
Mr Myers asks if the trauma has left Letby sensitive to certain things.
Letby replies she is now sensitive to noises, and is "easily startled" by new things.
She says she has been diagnosed, in prison by a psychologist, with PTSD.
10:49am
Mr Myers asks Letby about her being arrested for the first time.
Letby says this was nothing like she had ever experienced before.
Wiping away tears, Letby says there was a knocking on the door at 6am from police, at her Westbourne Road, Chester home.
At the time, her father was with her. They had "no idea at all" the police were coming that day.
"They told me I was being arrested for multiple counts of murder, they put me into handcuffs and took me away" in her pyjamas.
After three days of police interviews, Letby was released on bail. She says she was not allowed to return to her Chester home, and went to live with her parents in Hereford.
Becoming tearful, she says the second arrest in 2019 was a "mirror image" of the first arrest.
"It was just the most...scariest thing I have ever been through."
"It's just traumatised me."
10:45am
Letby says "everything" has "completely changed" in the hopes in her life, and it had "all gone".
Since November 2020, Letby says she has been remanded in prison.
10:44am
Becoming tearful, Letby says her job was "her life".
She said, to have that taken away, "my whole world just stopped".
She says the situation has "progressively got worse".
Mr Myers: "How hard is it to be what you're accused of?"
Letby: "It's very difficult."
10:43am
She said she was told not to have contact with anyone on the unit, other than three friends. Two were nurses, one was a doctor.
She said she saw her GP, and she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and was placed on to anti-depressants.
She says she takes medication for her depression now, as well as medication to help her sleep at night. She adds she can not sleep without the medication.
10:40am
In September 2016, Letby says, she received a letter from the Royal College of Nursing about the "true reason" for her redployment, that she was being held responsible for the deaths of babies on the neonatal unit.
She says she was putting in a grievance procedure about being redployed.
She says she did not know, at that time, how many babies she was being held responsible for.
She says she felt it was "sickening" to be held as a person responsible for the deaths of babies.
"I don't think you can be accused of anything worse than that."
"I just changed as a person, my mental health deteriorated, I felt isolated...from my friends on the unit."
10:38am
Asked about how she felt about being removed from nursing duties, she says she was "devastated", having "prided myself on being competent".
She says it "really affected" her, it was a "life-changing moment" in being put into a non-clinical role she did not enjoy.
"From a self-confidence point of view, it made me question everything about myself."
10:37am
She says, during a 12-month period, she would've cared for "hundreds" of babies.
Asked if she had done anything to harm the babies deliberately, she says that was not the case. "I only did my best to care for them."
Asked further about it, she adds: "That is completely against everything a nurse is."
10:35am
She said she did a three-year programme of nursing at the University of Chester, splitting her time between the university '50:50' and placements to gain clinical experience. The majority of her clinical experience was at the Countess of Chester Hospital, split between the children's ward and the neonatal ward.
She qualified as a band 5 nurse in September 2011.
10:34am
Benjamin Myers KC asks Lucy Letby to confirm her full name and date of birth, which she does.
She now tells the court about growing up in Hereford, with herself, her mum and her dad.
She said she always wanted to work with children, and developed a preference for nursing towards the end of secondary school.
10:32am
Lucy Letby, wearing all black, is now giving evidence.
10:31am
The judge, Mr Justice James Goss, has entered court.
Members of the jury are now arriving.
10:23am
There are considerably more journalists in court to report today's events.
10:21am
The courtroom at Manchester Crown Court is beginning to fill up. The trial is expected to resume at 10.30am.
9:44am
A reminder that, due to availability difficulties and public holidays, the trial is only sitting on Tuesday and Friday this week.
8:57am
For a comprehensive recap of the past 25 weeks, see our index of the Lucy Letby trial here, with links to each day of the trial so far:
Countess nurse Lucy Letby: What has happened in trial so far
8:55am
After 25 weeks of evidence before a jury, the prosecution concluded its case against Lucy Letby last Thursday.
Today, Letby's defence is expected to begin.
8:54am
The trial of Lucy Letby, who denies murdering seven babies at the Countess of Chester Hospital neonatal unit and attempting to murder 10 more, is expected to continue today (Tuesday, May 2).
We will be bringing you updates throughout the day.
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