UK UK - Ruth Wilson, 16, Dorking, 27 Nov 1995

[Cardgame]

One thing I am curious about is this "gameshow" which the parents say they were asked to participate in, in which the audience would be asked to vote on the next course of action.

Does anyone know what gameshow they were referring to?

I've lived in UK most of my life and certainly around that time, I have never seen or heard of such a show, and in those days there was far less 'content' to choose from.

It's baffling.

Makes me wonder if it was a crank call and they didn't clock it.

Either way, it's a pretty extreme example to use in relation to 'raising awareness' for your missing daughter.

They obviously agreed to this milk carton campaign, and continued to be interviewed by reporters well into the noughties, but it's interesting that they turned down the more recent offer of journalistic assistance.

 

[mrC]

maybe for whatever reason they don't trust Martin Bright or would prefere to pursue that matter privately

 

[Konstantin]

- in one contemporaneous article the FLO, mark Williams Thomas, describes Ruth has being very "unstable". But in another the stepmother describes her disappearance as "a bolt from the blue". Quite a disparate description, which is interesting

Given that Ruth had run away before (to her male friend's house) and her parents were aware of that, her running away again cannot have been a "bolt from the blue."

Do you have the clip with a date of when MWT said that about her? One of her friends did say that she could be a "drama queen" but then what teenager isn't?

The "game show" thing is very strange, i have never heard of a show like that and it sounds utterly crass. I am very skeptical that the grieving parents of a missing child, from an open police case, would go on a game show to have the public vote on what they ought to do. That would be utterly inappropriate, and lacking in empathy.

 

[Cardgame]

Given that Ruth had run away before (to her male friend's house) and her parents were aware of that, her running away again cannot have been a "bolt from the blue."

Do you have the clip with a date of when MWT said that about her? One of her friends did say that she could be a "drama queen" but then what teenager isn't?

I think I attached it to my original post, it's in a newspaper article. I have to look up exactly when it was, but i think it was in 1995 just after she went missing or not long after.

 

[mrC]

ruth hadn't really run away she had gone to stay with a friend the fact her parents knew where she was id imagine was because she told them wich i dont think she would of done if she was planning on leaving permenantly

 

[Konstantin]

I think I attached it to my original post, it's in a newspaper article. I have to look up exactly when it was, but i think it was in 1995 just after she went missing or not long after.

Thank you!
I think that Ruth's family kept a lot of information back and probably because they just wanted Ruth to come home or for her to be found, hopefully safe and well, and didn't want private family business they deemed irrelevant to that being achieved being gossiped about in the press. The UK press can be very vicious. There were some very sensitive family issues, Ruth was upset by them, they were upset by them, they had another child who they must have wanted to protect.

Her parents may well have felt Martin Bright was not helping by opening old wounds that were very painful and that would not bring Ruth home. Ruth has not been found despite Martin's attempts, after all.

There is probably a whole raft of things we don't know about this case because they are personal. These newspaper articles are really enlightening though, e.g. re the flowers, so thank you again for posting them.

 

[Cardgame]

Thank you!
I think that Ruth's family kept a lot of information back and probably because they just wanted Ruth to come home or for her to be found, hopefully safe and well, and didn't want private family business they deemed irrelevant to that being achieved being gossiped about in the press. The UK press can be very vicious. There were some very sensitive family issues, Ruth was upset by them, they were upset by them, they had another child who they must have wanted to protect.

Her parents may well have felt Martin Bright was not helping by opening old wounds that were very painful and that would not bring Ruth home. Ruth has not been found despite Martin's attempts, after all.

There is probably a whole raft of things we don't know about this case because they are personal. These newspaper articles are really enlightening though, e.g. re the flowers, so thank you again for posting them.

Thanks for saying this.

I must correct myself on the date of MWT comments though, I checked the old newspapers again and the article is actually from 1996, a year on.

 

[Bickles]

At 16, Ruth discovered the truth of her mother's death - then VANISHED

During one of the last conversations Catherine Mair had with her friend Ruth Wilson, the teenager made a plea to move north with her. But Ruth never got the opportunity

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[wtiger]

Williams-Thomas should be gagged really - he is interested only in the sound of his own voice

 

[Cardgame]

At 16, Ruth discovered the truth of her mother's death - then VANISHED

During one of the last conversations Catherine Mair had with her friend Ruth Wilson, the teenager made a plea to move north with her. But Ruth never got the opportunity

www.dailymail.co.uk

Wow, well here is a mainstream media report confirming that Ruth - for whatever reason- had come to the false belief that she was responsible for her mother's death.

"'Sadly, Ruth seemed convinced she was responsible,' says Catherine. 'She believed it was one of her toys that her mum had tripped over.'

This notion was reinforced by another friend of Ruth's who asked not to be identified but told the Mail that 'she definitely believed, or had persuaded herself, that it was one of her toys that had caused her mother's accident'.

In the months before she went missing, Ruth became determined to find out more...

...Ruth was distressed and confused and started asking some dark questions. She became fixated on getting to the heart of exactly what had happened.'"

 

[Cardgame]

At 16, Ruth discovered the truth of her mother's death - then VANISHED

During one of the last conversations Catherine Mair had with her friend Ruth Wilson, the teenager made a plea to move north with her. But Ruth never got the opportunity

www.dailymail.co.uk

Also I find it promising that this article has come out now. Thirty years since Ruth disappeared, it seems there is an opportunity for added pressure on the police to really try and find out what happened.

Eg, it's curious that we have no information if the family home was ever searched, despite the fact that logistically Ruth could have returned home after being up on Box Hill.

The exact time the missing persons report was made is unknown, AFAIK, but many hours potentially passed between the taxi dropping her off and that phonecall.

I would be interested to know if the family home is still in possession of the family, or if other owners now occupy.

 

[Bickles]

Also I find it promising that this article has come out now. Thirty years since Ruth disappeared, it seems there is an opportunity for added pressure on the police to really try and find out what happened.

Eg, it's curious that we have no information if the family home was ever searched, despite the fact that logistically Ruth could have returned home after being up on Box Hill.

The exact time the missing persons report was made is unknown, AFAIK, but many hours potentially passed between the taxi dropping her off and that phonecall.

I would be interested to know if the family home is still in possession of the family, or if other owners now occupy.

I'm sure I've read somewhere that the family home has since been sold. Possibly after Ruth's sister left home. Will have a look to see where I got that from.

 

[Cardgame]

Wow, well here is a mainstream media report confirming that Ruth - for whatever reason- had come to the false belief that she was responsible for her mother's death.

"'Sadly, Ruth seemed convinced she was responsible,' says Catherine. 'She believed it was one of her toys that her mum had tripped over.'

This notion was reinforced by another friend of Ruth's who asked not to be identified but told the Mail that 'she definitely believed, or had persuaded herself, that it was one of her toys that had caused her mother's accident'.

In the months before she went missing, Ruth became determined to find out more...

...Ruth was distressed and confused and started asking some dark questions. She became fixated on getting to the heart of exactly what had happened.'"

I would like to know what those 'dark questions' were.

Because when someone starts asking dark questions and then goes missing, that makes me wonder if someone needed those questions to stop.

 

[Konstantin]

https://archive.ph/Ukm0k

Archive link of the above, without the paywall.

 

[Cardgame]

I'm sure I've read somewhere that the family home has since been sold. Possibly after Ruth's sister left home. Will have a look to see where I got that from.

In the 'letter to Ruth' article, the dad states that he and Karen are still living in the house because it is still Ruth's home, even though it is too big for them and Jenny has moved away. From memory, he describes the house as 'dead' without Ruth.

But that letter was quite some years ago, I imagine they have moved on by now.

The fact they didn't want the journalists help does suggest IMO that they have given up hope.

At a certain point, I'm guessing the healthy thing might be to move, ie move on, but it would be hard without closure.

 

[Konstantin]

At a certain point, I'm guessing the healthy thing might be to move, ie move on, but it would be hard without closure.

Ambiguous loss is very hard. I do feel for them. Perhaps they believe Ruth is still alive but doesn't want to make contact. The police have not classified the case as a murder -- which would give more resources I believe -- which they have done in other missing persons cases, like Georgina Gharsallah for example.

There are lots of people who think that journalists just dig up dirt and stir trouble rather than helping. There are very sensitive issues around Ruth's birth mum and so on that I can quite understand why her family don't want splashed everywhere, perhaps they think that will also upset Ruth if she is out there and sees it. I hope Ruth is safe and well and happy somewhere.

 

[mrC]

yes i mean her dads decision to tell a little white lie because he didn't want to explain suicide to a 4-year-old has even been criticized, but whatr the hell was he supposed to i would of done exactly the same thing

 

[iamshadow21]

yes i mean her dads decision to tell a little white lie because he didn't want to explain suicide to a 4-year-old has even been criticized, but whatr the hell was he supposed to i would of done exactly the same thing

There are plenty of ways to explain death to a four year old that don't leave them feeling that they, personally, are responsible for it.

I think Ruth is dead. I think she carried the guilt of having 'killed' her mother her whole life, then on finding out that was a lie and her mother killed herself, it was too much to bear. She was a teenager whose whole world had crumbled around her ears.

I know people think it's unlikely she's up on that hill, but I think she is. There were decades between her going missing and the intense amount of activity around the Olympics. A body can go unfound even with the best of searches.

MOO

 

[mrC]

but nobody told her she had kiled her mother they said her mother fell down the stairs

 

[Officer Dibble]

Yes I find that odd as well, but maybe her parents meant it in the sense that they were surprised she was going up there after school, rather than they were surprised she went up there at all.

It was November, it was dark early so if she had been going up there after school in the months before her disappearance, it would have been dark in the late afternoon, probably quite cold, and also probably often rainy or wet. If she did frequent Box Hill in those weeks, you'd think it was to meet someone who lived up there (there are houses up there, near the pub, right?), go in the pub if they didn't mind she was a bit young, or in a car. I don't see how you can really walk around the more countryside bits in the dark, with no lights.

Or perhaps have friend/s who worked in the pub. JMO