Identified! VA - Annandale, WhtFem 245UFVA, ~60, 'NO CODE, DNR, No Penicillin', Dec'96

[fraulein_doktor]

This story is so sad.

I have read the whole thread in one sitting and was really, really hoping Astridxx had a match. Now I wish I could somehow be useful.

Bump, I guess.

 

[rosesfromangels]

This story is so sad.

I have read the whole thread in one sitting and was really, really hoping Astridxx had a match. Now I wish I could somehow be useful.

Bump, I guess.

Welcome Fraulein! How nice that your first post is about our dear Christmas Tree Lady! Yes, we so want to give her back her name. She has touched our hearts, and we haven't given up! :seeya:

 

[apearn]

IDK if this helps at all, but, did anyone search to see if this is her writings or a published piece? If it is her's then she is fairly learned in poetry because she seems to be doing some very specific things with syllable counts and sounds. I'm not an English Professor but I took a good deal of college English and Writing classes. .......not that you can tell by my internet scrawling!

With her age, and the date being at/near the end of a semester, I am wondering of she was perhaps an adjunct professor who was let go from a local/semi-local college or university. Probably it would't be to local since that would have meant people should have recognized her.

 

[Tssiemer]

This case is intriguing...why would she want to die so anonymously?

I remember being on that dark ledge of hopelessness looking down at suicide. My brain told me it was the only way to end the suffering of myself and ease the burden on family. I haas thought about running way somewhere to die but I didn't want my family thinking I was abducted. I decided to do it on a warm, rainy September night. I had called the maintenance people so would find me in the morning and not my mother who checked on me frequently in my apartment. I put the shower curtain in the bath tub so there was no mess and prepared for it. Then the phone rang and it was a good friend I hadn't from since I had moved back home from college. We talked for hours. I hung the shower curtain back up and went to bed. I woke up the next morning in disbelief of what I almost did and I never told anyone, not even the friend who called. The thought of suicide is powerful. If you feel alone and anonymous in life that's how you want to go out sometimes.

 

[astridxx]

I remember being on that dark ledge of hopelessness looking down at suicide. My brain told me it was the only way to end the suffering of myself and ease the burden on family. I haas thought about running way somewhere to die but I didn't want my family thinking I was abducted. I decided to do it on a warm, rainy September night. I had called the maintenance people so would find me in the morning and not my mother who checked on me frequently in my apartment. I put the shower curtain in the bath tub so there was no mess and prepared for it. Then the phone rang and it was a good friend I hadn't from since I had moved back home from college. We talked for hours. I hung the shower curtain back up and went to bed. I woke up the next morning in disbelief of what I almost did and I never told anyone, not even the friend who called. The thought of suicide is powerful. If you feel alone and anonymous in life that's how you want to go out sometimes.

Thank you for sharing this dear. *hugs* I'm glad fate intervened and you're still with us.


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[rosesfromangels]

God Bless you Tssiemer! I am convinced God whispered in your friends ear....

For anyone feeling like there are no options, please remember that the National Suicide prevention hotline is available 24/7:
1-800-273-8255

 

[carbuff]

I remember being on that dark ledge of hopelessness looking down at suicide. My brain told me it was the only way to end the suffering of myself and ease the burden on family. I haas thought about running way somewhere to die but I didn't want my family thinking I was abducted. I decided to do it on a warm, rainy September night. I had called the maintenance people so would find me in the morning and not my mother who checked on me frequently in my apartment. I put the shower curtain in the bath tub so there was no mess and prepared for it. Then the phone rang and it was a good friend I hadn't from since I had moved back home from college. We talked for hours. I hung the shower curtain back up and went to bed. I woke up the next morning in disbelief of what I almost did and I never told anyone, not even the friend who called. The thought of suicide is powerful. If you feel alone and anonymous in life that's how you want to go out sometimes.

I'm glad you were pulled back. I hadn't gone quite that far myself but was deeply thinking about it when a random act of kindness from one of my kids made me see that things weren't as dark as I thought.

 

[Tssiemer]

I'm glad you were pulled back. I hadn't gone quite that far myself but was deeply thinking about it when a random act of kindness from one of my kids made me see that things weren't as dark as I thought.

I'm so glad for you. Unfortunately this poor lady wasn't as lucky it seems.

 

[carbuff]

I'm so glad for you. Unfortunately this poor lady wasn't as lucky it seems.

Yes. Poor woman.

That's why I try to always be kind, as much as I can. You never know who is hanging on by a thread, and a smile or a kind word can be like a life preserver.

She now has 172 names on her exclusions list (https://identifyus.org/en/cases/6279):

Geneva Adams 1922 Missouri
Frances Allen 1937 Kentucky
Kimberly Allen 1958 Wyoming
Dawn Amlo 1949 Connecticut
Carla Anderson 1964 Minnesota
Cynthia Anderson 1961 Ohio
Katherine Anderson 1954 Maryland
Eva Arehart 1922 Michigan
Maureen Baca 1950 California
Nancy Baird 1952 Utah
Lynn Baltzley 1962 Missouri
Dixie Barker 1926 Kentucky
Teresa Barnett 1956 Texas
Kathleen Bennett 1960 Michigan
Lina Borges 1959 California
Linda Bowdre 1948 Ohio
Georgiana Breckenridge 1939 California
ROBIN BULL 1945 Washington
Sandra Butler 1962 Nevada
Patricia Calloway 1954 Kentucky
Sharman Carey 1956 Washington
Peggy Case 1960 Utah
Josephine Chatraw 1948 New York
Debra Childers 1954 North Carolina
Janet Clark 1955 Michigan
Rose Cole 1956 California
Cynthia Coleman 1963 California
Patricia Colyer 1948 Washington
Shelia Cooper 1952 Kentucky
Tina Coverdale 1963 Delaware
Andrea Coyle 1948 Pennsylvania
Rebecca Crist 1962 Virginia
Wilda Cross 1953 Louisiana
BEATRICE CUBELOS 1950 New Mexico
Lois Darnopuk 1956 New York
Sherry Daughtery 1963 Arizona
Evelyn Davis 1962 Ohio
Deborah Dean 1961 Missouri
Eva Debruhl 1962 South Carolina
Patricia DePunte 1957 New Jersey
Josephine Despard 1958 New York
Linne Dominelli 1950 California
Kelly Dove 1961 Virginia
Debra Duncan 1957 Michigan
Lilli Dunn 1951 Michigan
Wendy Eaton 1959 Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Eisel 1962 Washington
Debbie Escalante 1960 New Mexico
Sherry Eyerly 1963 Oregon
Marsha Ferber 1941 West Virginia
JENNIE FISHER 1953 Florida
Teresa Fittin 1957 Florida
Laura Flink 1947 Washington
Melanie Flynn 1952 Kentucky
Iva Foss 1901 New York
Audree Gagne 1935 Nevada
DAVETTE GAUNT 1959 California
Rose Gayhart 1962 Florida
Mae Gebhard 1915 California
Judith Geurin 1945 New York
Pamela Golden 1949 Arkansas
Linda Grimm 1961 California
Clara Grunst 1963 Missouri
Heather Guy 1953 Washington
Billie Hall 1960 Maryland
Gina Hall 1962 Virginia
Nelda Hardwick 1959 Louisiana
Karen Harmon 1956 Oregon
Darla Harper 1960 Arkansas
Cindy Haumann 1959 Arizona
Katherine Heckel 1951 Pennsylvania
Charlotte Heimann 1954 New York
Ashley Higgins 1962 California
Mary Carol Hill - Frederick 1957 Florida
Sherri Holland 1962 Florida
Susan Hoppes Bennett 1948 Washington
June Howard 1951 Washington
Mary Hunter 1960 Washington
Elba Irizarry 1951 New Jersey
Suzanne Justis 1950 Oregon
Gail Katz-Bierenbaum 1956 New York
Joyce Kennedy 1933 Washington
Nahita Khatib 1946 Wisconsin
Frances Kiefer 1949 Pennsylvania
Tracy King 1960 Pennsylvania
Shirley Klemgard 1940 New York
Hazel Klug 1962 Virginia
Gloria Korzon 1943 Pennsylvania
Marilyn Koski 1953 Oregon
Renee LaManna 1958 New Jersey
Peggy Lammon 1961 Michigan
Elaine Lehtinen 1945 California
Sherrill Levitt 1944 Missouri
Velda Leyba 1953 New Mexico
Dorothy Limestahl 1939 Minnesota
Dagmar Linton 1926 Washington
Lillian Lipscomb 1921 New York
Lori Lloyd 1961 Ohio
Ella Beth Lodermeier 1948 South Dakota
Sheree Magaro 1956 Maryland
Tammy Mahoney 1961 New York
Cynthia Maine 1959 California
Anne Manchester 1954 Delaware
Susan Marable 1956 Washington
Donda Martino 1961 Tennessee
Elisabeth Martinson 1960 California
Sandra Matott 1942 Utah
Deborah McCall 1963 Illinois
MARINTHIA MCCOY 1963 Florida
Teresa McKinley 1952 California
Martha McNiel 1959 North Carolina
Patricia Meehan 1951 Montana
Kathleen Meyers 1962 Delaware
Stephanie Miles 1961 Washington
Barbara Miller 1959 Pennsylvania
Frances Morales 1962 New Jersey
Pamela Nater 1946 Florida
Madalene Neace 1955 Ohio
DEBBY OBERG 1954 Nevada
Deborah Owens 1955 California
Juanita Oxenrider 1947 Maryland
Barbara Paciotti 1949 Minnesota
Laurie Partridge 1957 Washington
Jan Pattinson 1955 Michigan
Susan Pearson 1935 Montana
Kathleen Pehringer 1947 Wyoming
Karen Penson 1952 Washington
Kristina Perkins 1953 Arizona
Robyn Pettinato 1960 Montana
Babette Phillips 1959 Louisiana
Evelyn Piper 1940 Alabama
ADA PLA 1933 Florida
Deborah Post 1961 Massachusetts
Behdokht Pyke 1952 Florida
Angela Ramsey 1961 Florida
Juanita Reedy 1943 West Virginia
Edna Reynolds 1921 New Mexico
Teresa Rhodes 1962 Pennsylvania
BEVERLY RIBLEY 1946 California
Simone Ridinger 1960 Massachusetts
Isabel Rizzo 1953 New York
Lonene Rogers 1951 Pennsylvania
Guadalupe Rosales 1924 Michigan
Hannah Rowell 1964 California
Veronica Safranski 1956 Minnesota
Cheryl Scherer 1959 Missouri
Juliana Schubert 1959 Washington
Jeanne Scrima 1935 New York
Linda Seymour 1947 Illinois
Denise Sheehy 1954 New York
Jami Sherer 1963 Washington
Nancy Shoupp 1963 Colorado
Barbara Shumac 1953 Pennsylvania
Terry Slaugenhoupt 1962 Pennsylvania
Betty Smith 1942 New Jersey
Dale Smith 1933 Georgia
Verna Smith 1919 California
Mary Ann Switalski 1946 Illinois
Linda Taylor 1948 Tennessee
Donna Urban 1959 Delaware
Wilma Vermaas 1952 California
Debra Vowell 1957 California
Kathi Warren 1956 North Carolina
Mary Watkins 1925 California
Julie Weflen 1958 Washington
Vernette Wester 1947 Arizona
Joanne Williams 1956 Pennsylvania
Karen Wilson 1963 New York
Candace Wright 1947 Wisconsin
Jennifer Wyant 1958 Tennessee
Jerry Yell 1940 Oklahoma
Karen Zendrosky 1963 New Jersey

 

[Tssiemer]

Are these all tips people have turned in or people just randomly tested that matched her discription?

 

[carbuff]

Are these all tips people have turned in or people just randomly tested that matched her discription?

Namus automatically generates lists of potential matches -- fingerprint and dental profiles that are close enough to check by hand, partial DNA, physical description, and when LE rules one of those potential matches out, the name is added automatically. LE can also add names that come in from tips and from inquiries from other LE agencies, etc.

 

[astridxx]

172 rule outs.... Ugh.


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[Tssiemer]

172 rule outs.... Ugh.


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I know. :banghead:

 

[poppygirl]

I remember being on that dark ledge of hopelessness looking down at suicide. My brain told me it was the only way to end the suffering of myself and ease the burden on family. I haas thought about running way somewhere to die but I didn't want my family thinking I was abducted. I decided to do it on a warm, rainy September night. I had called the maintenance people so would find me in the morning and not my mother who checked on me frequently in my apartment. I put the shower curtain in the bath tub so there was no mess and prepared for it. Then the phone rang and it was a good friend I hadn't from since I had moved back home from college. We talked for hours. I hung the shower curtain back up and went to bed. I woke up the next morning in disbelief of what I almost did and I never told anyone, not even the friend who called. The thought of suicide is powerful. If you feel alone and anonymous in life that's how you want to go out sometimes.

I'm glad you got that phone call...if you ever feel that way again, remember that phone call...

 

[rosesfromangels]

Just read through most of the thread again Here are my thoughts
You don't wear a DNR bracelet unless you think resuscitation is looming in the near future. She was terminally ill and took matters in to her own hands.
She was an educated, professional woman of means.
I thought perhaps she worked in the political sector in DC at one point, but her prints would have come up.
I am now leaning towards accounting field or educator.
She had a good sense of humor.
The Monty python was a bit edgy for someone in her age group.
The guess brand watch was a bit hip for her age group as well.
She most likely had lost her loved ones along the way; her note hints to that depth of sorrow.
The Christmas tree represents the happiest time of her life and a belief in Christ. She must have had very happy Christmas memories.
I believe she had lost a child at some point.
I believe the ring has great significance and will ultimately lead to her identity.
I believe the ring is the place to focus.

Opinion only.

 

[dogperson]

My mom signed a DNR when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She didn't have a bracelet, but I was thinking this UID may have purchased it especially for committing suicide in the cemetery, in case someone found her before she actually died. For instance, she had maybe been diagnosed with a terminal illness and decided, for whatever reason, to commit suicide in this cemetery. So she orders or purchases the DNR bracelet in case someone happens upon her while she is still able to be resuscitated. Does anyone know what the law would be in regard to this? If you are wearing a DNR bracelet but a person finds you in the act of attempting suicide, are they still allowed to attempt resuscitation? Or must they respect your wishes? We might have found out more if an autopsy was performed, although I realize our UID requested no autopsy, but according to whatever medical condition she may have had, LE may have been able to figure out where she had been receiving treatment.

 

[Tssiemer]

IMO the doctors/paramedics would have to abide by the DNR, but I'm not sure about a civilian.

BUT..

When I was in nursing school, if someone was dnr sometimes the doctors would keep them alive long enough for the family to say goodbye.

 

[dogperson]

This is a little bit OT but I was surprised during my mom's illness and during the terminal illness of my father-in-law that despite the presence of a signed DNR and a Living Will, the doctors still ask the family what their wishes are. It's a little worrisome thinking you could sign all those documents and still not have your wishes respected.
I would have thought an autopsy might be required for our UID. I thought any unattended death called for one. I realize it was pretty obvious to anyone that our UID committed suicide, but just in case it was a staged scene, I would have thought they would need to make sure. I suppose laws vary from state to state on that.

 

[Tssiemer]

I guess they can't confirm or deny the note was written by her. Someone could have left the note and the money out of guilt.

 

[carbuff]

Unlikely. Everything she did was from a book about how to commit suicide that was popular at the time. I've forgotten the title but it's mentioned several times in the earlier part of the thread. Astridxx found that for us, IIRC.