GUILTY VA - Noah Thomas, 5, Pulaski County, 22 March 2015 #5

[weeksauce007]

I'm really thankful (& feeling a bit less of a solo weirdo [emoji15] or like I'm an awful, heart of stone person) that others find not only the photos being posted of sweet Noah's gravesite odd, but the mass amount of "things"... I guess I just can't help but think & continue to wish that all of these stuffies, balloons & goodies had been given to this sweet boy when he was still here on this earth. I wish that all of the enormous amount of love that is being shown to his gravesite (& documented...) had been shown TO NOAH.

...and I'm really not trying to be negative, but I do wonder how much of this (the visiting of the gravesite, bringing toys, stuffies, balloons, baking his favorite cake, in his favorite color, etc etc etc) would be done if it weren't for social media & the constant gratification one seems to get after posting a photo or posting what they brought/plan to bring/are donating etc.

When... Really, do those things matter now?



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[KristiA]

There were not many pictures. A video of Noah when he started walking and then a few links to some cute YouTube videos of him as a baby. Sad.

IF we find the parents are addicts of some kind (and I think we probably will IMO), I wonder when it all started? I think about that a lot...when they began their downward spiral which led to this.

 

[courtneyb]

I'm really thankful (& feeling a bit less of a solo weirdo [emoji15] or like I'm an awful, heart of stone person) that others find not only the photos being posted of sweet Noah's gravesite odd, but the mass amount of "things"... I guess I just can't help but think & continue to wish that all of these stuffies, balloons & goodies had been given to this sweet boy when he was still here on this earth. I wish that all of the enormous amount of love that is being shown to his gravesite (& documented...) had been shown TO NOAH.

...and I'm really not trying to be negative, but I do wonder how much of this (the visiting of the gravesite, bringing toys, stuffies, balloons, baking his favorite cake, in his favorite color, etc etc etc) would be done if it weren't for social media & the constant gratification one seems to get after posting a photo or posting what they brought/plan to bring/are donating etc.

When... Really, do those things matter now?



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Only to the people bringing stuff. And their motives are not necessarily bad, maybe just misguided? Or unintentionally personally motivated?


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[hockeymom4]

I saw her FB before she was arrested and it didn't look like it had been used in years. PT didn't use his either, so I don't think there was anything to erase.

Thanks. So maybe the other poster is just confused. Not being lazy. I just can't bring myself to go look at her page. I find it sad and angry. May sound silly, so I appreciate your input.

 

[weeksauce007]

Only to the people bringing stuff. And their motives are not necessarily bad, maybe just misguided? Or unintentionally personally motivated?


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Thank you for this ^^^^. A good reminder that although I may find behavior out of my own norm, it isn't always coming from a bad place per se... Maybe just not a thought out one. I just wish so much that all the love being shown to Noah now had been shown to him then.


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[kimi_SFC]

Thanks! I am happy to be here!

:welcome4: KristiA! What an eloquent first post! :highfive: Looking forward to your insight and input here (and hopefully on other threads on WS). There are SO many cases that could use a fresh perspective, and before you know it, you'll be a veteran :websleuther: too!
Welcome aboard!



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[LayzeeDayzee]

The cover photo for the 'Help Find Missing Noah Thomas' FB page........who exactly is the group of SMILING people standing at the foot of sweet little Noah's grave? I can't imagine anyone asking for, then posing for such a picture...........then it being posted on a public FB page. It's a little boy's grave for crying out loud, not the Vegas strip. Unbelievable. So inappropriate and lacking in class and respect.

I'm really thankful (& feeling a bit less of a solo weirdo [emoji15] or like I'm an awful, heart of stone person) that others find not only the photos being posted of sweet Noah's gravesite odd, but the mass amount of "things"... I guess I just can't help but think & continue to wish that all of these stuffies, balloons & goodies had been given to this sweet boy when he was still here on this earth. I wish that all of the enormous amount of love that is being shown to his gravesite (& documented...) had been shown TO NOAH.

...and I'm really not trying to be negative, but I do wonder how much of this (the visiting of the gravesite, bringing toys, stuffies, balloons, baking his favorite cake, in his favorite color, etc etc etc) would be done if it weren't for social media & the constant gratification one seems to get after posting a photo or posting what they brought/plan to bring/are donating etc.

When... Really, do those things matter now?



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[vasportsmom]

Thanks! I am happy to be here!

Welcome and great first post! I hope that you will continue posting with us. We love having more voices added to the discussion.
Thank you for the kind words. Courtney is really, really mean but she does make beautiful seats so we keep her around.


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[vasportsmom]

About all the toys and such as left on Noah's grave ... Noah will never see nor play with those things but he has a precious baby sister that likely needs or will need so much in the coming months. Helping meet her needs or making a donation in Noah's name to any number of groups that work with abused children may be a better way to honor Noah.


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[SeriouslySearching]

About all the toys and such as left on Noah's grave ... Noah will never see nor play with things but he has a precious baby sister that likely needs or will need so much in the coming months. Helping meet her needs or making a donation in Noah's name to any number of groups that work with abused children may be a better way to honor Noah.


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Some of those "things" may have come from his friends from school or his team. Children often give gifts from their own toys (not unusual to give favorites) to deceased friends. It also depends on their own personal belief system if people believe Noah will see them or play with them.

I wish people wouldn't be so critical of what others do while grieving for this adorable 5 year old boy. There just is not a right or wrong way to do it. People simply cope. Some give gifts. Some donate. Some celebrate his life. But all of them hurt because Noah is gone.

 

[katydid23]

We had a similar thing happening in a nearby town. A very tragic car accident took 4 young lives--2 17 yr old boys and 2 16 yr old girls. They were on a double date, and the driver lost control of his parent's Mercedes, crashed into a brick wall/fence on the side of a main road in town.

Friends and family began bringing flowers and candles and stuffed animals, which often happens in these tragic cases. But it just went on and on, even after the family would gather all of the stuffed animals and donate them to hospitals, teens kept replacing them with dozens and dozens more. The family was even asking them to stop bringing the stuffed animals because it was too distracting. The parents just wanted a simple landscaping thing that they planted--- some gorgeous flowers.

But week after week there were dozens more stuffed animals placed on top of the brick retaining wall---which had been repaired. It became an eyesore and the families were always out there clearing it up because it was no longer 'sacred' ---but kids were just dropping them off and taking pix to post on their SM...like it became a joke, or a cool thing to do, and not a true devotional response.

ETA: OK Seriously Searching, now you have me second guessing my post. But I just know how frustrated and upset the families were after many months of asking for the memorial to just be the new plants, and no more piles of soggy, wet stuffed animals all over the sacred site.

 

[vasportsmom]

I agree wholeheartedly. I can't believe one picture posted along with a note from the poster, about how she left an easter basket @ Noah's grave so that he "had it to enjoy in Heaven." WTF?

It makes no sense to me. I can understand those that knew Noah feeling the need to do something more but it seems like a lot of people are co-opting their grief for whatever reason.
The pictures of hurting children at the grave really cross a line for me. Grieving is such a personal thing and I have nothing but disdain for those that have turned a grieving child at the graveside into a photo opportunity to garner FB likes. Put down the damn camera/phone and comfort your child instead of exploiting their pain.


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[ANonyMs]

AW's Facebook has been scrubbed. There were a few visible pics previously mainly of her when she was younger. Now the only thing visible is the video of Noah. It was scrubbed after she was booked, so she either has access to the internet or she asked someone to do it for her.

PT's FB appears to have remained mostly the same. His sister said in one MSM quote that she was glad he doesn't use social media so he wasn't reading the horrible things people were posting. I would guess that rather than a profile that was later set to Friends Only, he just stopped using it.

The blank cover pic (banner at the top of a FB page) showing as black is probably b/c cover pics were introduced after they stopped using their accounts. The black is default.

 

[lillybell]

hi to my gameroom bubby lillybell :seeya:

she plays a mean round of "alphabetical old TV shows" ............

Lol, hi QueenBee, did you hear graces news? The little one has arrived, she posted a pic on the game thread, a little beauty!

 

[Queen Bee]

Lol, hi QueenBee, did you hear graces news? The little one has arrived, she posted a pic on the game thread, a little beauty!

wooooohoooo fiona grace is here!!!!!!!!!!! thank you......i will have to go see her

eta........sorry o/t mods.....we've been awaiting a grandchild from gracehatter.....and she's arrived....on these boards we have to celebrate good news when we can

 

[Schmaley]

I personally don't believe the Pokemon cards ever existed. I believe the so-called Mom simply made this up (the existence of them). I also wonder if he really even had a pair of Spiderman boots. My gut says she was just trying to make him appear to be a well-loved (by her/his parents) little boy who was loved so much that he had favorite things that meant a lot to him. Did anyone ever see him with this Pokemon tin? Or him wearing Spiderman boots? IMO, this poor little boy likely had very few toys, perhaps partly due to financial reasons but mostly due to parents not making this little boy much of a priority.

Also, if the cards/tin never really existed, even if he was found (which he was), there would still be the outstanding issue of "where" did the cards/tin go.....who took them? who took them from him?.......was it some evil abductor or child molester? -- I'm thinking that was what the Mom/parents were thinking. My guess is that they planned the details in advance, discussed them together, agreed on what mom would tell LE when she reported him missing. Rehearsed.

BBM. I just don't know if I can swallow that piece. I think they did love him and I don't think they are bright enough to come up with a story so elaborate. Especially considering that the best story they could come up with was that mom took a nap. It is the worst excuse ever although I do bet that she probably did nap that morning because she probably needed to make up some sleep from the night before. JMO-

 

[ANonyMs]

Some of those "things" may have come from his friends from school or his team. Children often give gifts from their own toys (not unusual to give favorites) to deceased friends. It also depends on their own personal belief system if people believe Noah will see them or play with them.

I wish people wouldn't be so critical of what others do while grieving for this adorable 5 year old boy. There just is not a right or wrong way to do it. People simply cope. Some give gifts. Some donate. Some celebrate his life. But all of them hurt because Noah is gone.

I agree that we should be respectful of other people's spiritual beliefs and ways that different people grieve. If there are a few things there that are from people who legitimately knew and loved Noah - classmates, neighbors, etc, that is one thing.

But leaving things at his grave site seems to have grown to near epic proportions with strangers mailing things to another stranger who is coordinating putting things at his grave and then photographing them, and the person from FB who admittedly did not know Noah in life who routinely goes and puts more and more things there and then announces them on FB. I don't find that to be legitimate. That to me is about their own needs and their own motivations and not really a sincere act of grief. It turns his grave in to an attraction and the act of placing something there in to a badge of honor, or worse, entertainment.

 

[AnnaGrace]

Great post KristiA. Welcome!

 

[SeriouslySearching]

I agree that we should be respectful of other people's spiritual beliefs and ways that different people grieve. If there are a few things there that are from people who legitimately knew and loved Noah - classmates, neighbors, etc, that is one thing.

But leaving things at his grave site seems to have grown to near epic proportions with strangers mailing things to another stranger who is coordinating putting things at his grave and then photographing them, and the person from FB who admittedly did not know Noah in life who routinely goes and puts more and more things there and then announces them on FB. I don't find that to be legitimate. That to me is about their own needs and their own motivations and not really a sincere act of grief. It turns his grave in to an attraction and the act of placing something there in to a badge of honor, or worse, entertainment.

But really...what does it hurt? When other children who end up in the news are found deceased, the place they were found is usually the spot where strangers and friends alike flock to leave things. The memorials are often photographed. This wasn't possible for poor Noah. I can understand why people are using his grave as his memorial spot and why people are mailing things to be put there. This is truly a sad case and Noah captured the hearts of many strangers from near and far. It takes all kinds in this world and we see this often. I guess it is why I am not bothered by it as much anymore.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

What a great suggestion! If there's not one already, maybe someone will set up a trust fund for Noah's little sister.

If there was any extra money raised beyond his funeral expenses, it went into an education fund for Abigail.