*sigh*
The most troubling part for me is that if Noah was sick, and it esculated, or an accident happened, then why wasn't he taken to a doctor or the hospital? No matter if you felt guilty or whatever, you take action if your child is injuried.
Now to join those 'not perfect parents', I have chronic fatigue syndrome, wasn't diagnosed at the time, but I stayed extremely tired after having my first child. I napped when he napped. When he was 6 weeks old, I was sound asleep, and heard him crying. I went to get out of bed, and almost stepped on him. At some point during the night, he had cried, and my husband had gotten him out of the crib and brought him to me to nurse. I nursed him in my sleep, never realizing he was in the bed with me. I rushed him to the hospital, so scared his little head had hit the floor, because the head is the heaviest, so in my mind, it must have hit the floor! I was a mess, felt guilty as heck, and was crying my heart out. My baby was OK. But NEVER EVER again was he in my bed. I would nurse him in the rocking chair in the nursery.
Same child also developed croup. Sounds terrible when an infant has croup. One night it got worse, and I was heading to the ER with him, but when we got outside, it started clearing up. I debated on what to do. I ended up taking him to his pediatrician the following day. Very common for croup to clear when taken into the cool air at night. I had tried the steam in the bathroom before and it helped some, but wasn't enough. At any rate, I worried constantly about when I should take him in each time he got croup...and yes he did finally outgrow it, when he was a teenager!!!! I don't ever remember the docs giving him any medicine for croup. It was always keep an eye on him, and if breathing is labored, lips pale or bluish, get him into the ER. Times may have changed...I don't know.
Now I worked at the same hospital I was taking my kids. I was a nurse there. Yet even then, I didn't care what anyone thought. I wanted tests to make sure my baby wasn't harmed in anyway! No shaken baby from the fall, no fractures of the skull, or broken bones, etc. Never did it cross my mind NOT to take him into the ER after falling out of the bed!
I pray Noah had a normal childhood, and wasn't abused, or neglected until this time that ended in his death. I pray that he enjoyed life, what little time he had.