WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - #13

[pferrin]

I vacuum the living almost daily....sometimes twice a day. Does this make me
OCD ???? I do have two really hyper messy kids lol.

Depends..what are your other behaviors...LOL

 

[gitana1]

I vacuum the living almost daily....sometimes twice a day. Does this make me
OCD ???? I do have two really hyper messy kids lol.

No, but if you vacuumed for 11 hours per day, were diagnosed with severe OCD, and was hospitalized three times due to your behavior, then you might have OCD. That was the case with Julia, according to Solomon and all appears to have been substantiated by media reports except the 11 hour per day thing.

We are noticing that other things seem to substantiate Solomon's claims that she obsessively cleaned to the point of child neglect. Like, photos of vacuums in her pictures of consistently immaculate rooms, or noise complaints about vacuuming at late hours of the night.

 

[gitana1]

..apologies "gitana".

..there were 2 radio interviews-------this one talks about the pending lawsuit against the commissioner.

http://mynorthwest.com/?nid=577&a=36139&p=&n=
Mark Cavener, executive director, Washington Domestic Violence Commission

Mon November 21, 2011
Mark Cavener says that a father, like Solomon Metalwala, has a "snowball's chance in hell" of getting custody of his kids. "Everything that should have led to Solomon having custody of the child --it was there."

Awesome. That's what I was hoping! I'm going to listen soon.

 

[BritsKate]

Bumping this.excellent post!!!

I believe in my own oppinion a lot of her nutty behavior was due to.the fact she was.medicated. I've studied numerous effects of psychotropic drugs in.college and in many cases the thoughts of suicide and irrational thinking come AFTER the patient is medicated. Ie: Susan smith...Andrea gates...columbine high kids...etc and many many more. I think she got nutty when put on these meds pp even though she obviously has issues it did not mean that she coached her child. The lady in the church even heard m talking about the fathers abuse. Why can't some posters except.the.fact that just maybe SM did.abuse.her and the kids. And yes it has been stated his second poly was inconclusive and that is why he does not.want to discuss it I'm willing to bet. I'll have to.find the link when I get home can't do it on this phone.

I don't believe SM took sky but I do believe mom either gave him to someone for safe keeping or sold him. I don't believe she killed him and I also think the other poster is.right about the sex abuse claim no mom would ask for.her to.go.with the dad if he sexually abused the daughter. I think maybe.she was saying anything she.could to make.sure SM could not.go.near.the.kids. but I do believe that m was.tellin.g the.truth about the.abuse and not.coached. I couldn't bring myself to watch the exchange vid as it is too painful and reminds me of something that happened to my kids but reading the transcript its obvious to me who.m wanted to be with.

Anyway I digress... The above post says it all we don't know all the facts and as they come out I'm wondering how people will then feel about SM. :twocents:

BBM
I'm not understanding the comparison of these cases at all. I don't profess to know much about the Columbine killings or annihilator-type murders however just Susan Smith and Andrea Yates are wholly incomparable - as are Dena Schlosser and Diane Downs. This is Sky's thread and I don't want to derail but a psychotic filicide and non-psychotic filicide are as different as night to day in my opinion.

Both Dena Schlosser and Andrea Yates committed psychotic filicides meaning that while their crimes are horrible they did not at the time of their children's murder understand the depth of their atrocity. Both suffered from post partum psychosis, were found to be not guilty by reason of insanity, and that has been recognised by the courts through their acquittals.

Smith and Downs both cold-bloodedly murdered their children because, presumably, intended lovers did not want children. Both women are afflicted with personality disorders, both crimes are categorized as non-psychotic filicide and both women were sentenced to life in prison for their crimes. I cannot find any information to confirm Smith was prescribed psychotropics before the murder of her sons either. Do you have a link for that?

No one here has to accept theories as facts though. It has been reported in abundancy that the court has found the abuse allegations unfounded so therefore I do not consider it a known fact. It is every bit as likely that JB exaggerated a domestic argument in her quest to alienate a non-custodial parent as it is that SM beat her. None of us were there so none of us truly know - we are left with opinions based on known facts and personal experience. Even if he was abusive though it does not change the fact in any way, shape or form that JB abandoned a two year old in a car on the side of a road. Which is why Sky is missing after all.

ETA: A copy of the transcript on NG was posted by Patty G in which Clay Terry, SM's attorney, stated the results of the 2nd poly could not be discussed. Never did he state the 2nd one was also inconclusive. Of course that is just that one show so perhaps it was stated elsewhere but both links below state the same. Results not disclosed.
http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1111/14/ng.01.html

Terry, Metalwala's attorney, declined to release the results of his client's second polygraph test, taken Thursday. He said he needed to iron out a few matters with law-enforcement officials before doing so.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2016748652_missing12m.html
http://www.king5.com/news/local/sky...-Skys-still-waiting-for-mother-133701148.html

 

[PolyGraph]

Question: What makes you believe this? Is there evidence that makes you believe she did not kill the child or is it just gut feeling?


I guess I lean on the side of occams razor- simplest explanation is usually the truth - and to me, the simplest explanation is that she either killed Sky, or that she neglected him so much that he died, because she was busy vaccumming. I see lots of evidence that Julia was dangerous to herself and the children, and lots of evidence of mental health issues that could cause her to injure the child. Imagine a scenario where the child screwed up the vaccuum cleaner lines in the carpet. Or imagine a scenari where Julia didn't feed the children for days.

I see no evidence or motivation for her to give him to someone for safe keeping, especially since there was no one to keep him safe from. SM wasnt' a danger - who was? JB was.

Because I had to protect my kids once by kidnapping them too the only difference was I had loads of proof of abuse and all charges were dropped. I do know the fear all to well of wanting to protect your children when the courts won't. Abusers have too many rights. My experience was horrific. And I'm trying to figure out if jb did the same thing. I think the meds may have attributed to much of her problems. I studied psychology for years and the one thing I learned was certain medicatuons can really mess a person up.

I just have a feeling sky is being hidden. That's the reason she doesn't post pics of him because she does.t want him recognized. And this whole missing thing occured right after court case. < mod snip >

 

[jjenny]

Because I had to protect my kids once by kidnapping them too the only difference was I had loads of proof of abuse and all charges were dropped. I do know the fear all to well of wanting to protect your children when the courts won't. Abusers have too many rights. My experience was horrific. And I'm trying to figure out if jb did the same thing. I think the meds may have attributed to much of her problems. I studied psychology for years and the one thing I learned was certain medicatuons can really mess a person up.

I just have a feeling sky is being hidden. That's the reason she doesn't post pics of him because she does.t want him recognized. And this whole missing thing occured right after court case. <modsnip>.

Considering she actually has two children, and only one is missing, the idea that she is hiding one child to somehow "save" him makes no sense whatsoever. In addition she wanted her daughter to go to the father instead of foster care, which very clearly indicates she wasn't at all concerned about the father hurting the children.

 

[Rougelatete]

No, but if you vacuumed for 11 hours per day, were diagnosed with severe OCD, and was hospitalized three times due to your behavior, then you might have OCD. That was the case with Julia, according to Solomon and all appears to have been substantiated by media reports except the 11 hour per day thing.

We are noticing that other things seem to substantiate Solomon's claims that she obsessively cleaned to the point of child neglect. Like, photos of vacuums in her pictures of consistently immaculate rooms, or noise complaints about vacuuming at late hours of the night.

Also, if it interferes with your ability to care for your (or your dependents') basic needs, then it is a problem. If you are unable to stop despite wanting to stop -- and have an awareness that your behavior is abnormal, then it's a problem and qualifies for some of the OCD criteria.

 

[gitana1]

BBM
I'm not understanding the comparison of these cases at all. I don't profess to know much about the Columbine killings or annihilator-type murders however just Susan Smith and Andrea Yates are wholly incomparable - as are Dena Schlosser and Diane Downs. This is Sky's thread and I don't want to derail but a psychotic filicide and non-psychotic filicide are as different as night to day in my opinion.

Both Dena Schlosser and Andrea Yates committed psychotic filicides meaning that while their crimes are horrible they did not at the time of their children's murder understand the depth of their atrocity. Both suffered from post partum psychosis, were found to be not guilty by reason of insanity, and that has been recognised by the courts through their acquittals.

Smith and Downs both cold-bloodedly murdered their children because, presumably, intended lovers did not want children. Both women are afflicted with personality disorders, both crimes are categorized as non-psychotic filicide and both women were sentenced to life in prison for their crimes. I cannot find any information to confirm Smith was prescribed psychotropics before the murder of her sons either. Do you have a link for that?

No one here has to accept theories as facts though. It has been reported in abundancy that the court has found the abuse allegations unfounded so therefore I do not consider it a known fact. It is every bit as likely that JB exaggerated a domestic argument in her quest to alienate a non-custodial parent as it is that SM beat her. None of us was there so none of us truly know - we are left with opinions based on known facts and personal experience. Even if he was abusive though it does not change the fact in any way, shape or form that JB abandoned a two year old in a car on the side of a road. Which is why Sky is missing after all.

ETA: A copy of the transcript on NG was posted by Patty G in which Clay Terry, SM's attorney, stated the results of the 2nd poly could not be discussed. Never did he state the 2nd one was also inconclusive. Of course that is just that one show so perhaps it was stated elsewhere but both links below state the same. Results not disclosed.
http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1111/14/ng.01.html

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2016748652_missing12m.html
http://www.king5.com/news/local/sky...-Skys-still-waiting-for-mother-133701148.html

Good post. One thing, though: We do not know whether the court found Julia's abuse claims unfounded. Solomon and his attorney stated LE and CPD determined they were unfounded and thus took no action.

It does appear that the claim about sexual abuse was determined to be unfounded by the family law court. However, I am not sure about the physical abuse claims. Also, it appears the Julia's claims of domestic violence were absolutely believed by the family law court because he has a restraining order against him.

I have considered it a possibility that Solomon abused Julia. I still consider that possibility. But, I tend to doubt those claims at this point for the following reasons:

1. Apart from the family law court rulings, there is nothing that has been released to substantiate Julia's claims.

2. Julia stated Solomon had never hit her or physically hurt her until the last year of marriage. As they had been together for 14 years, this does not fit the typical pattern of an abuser.

3. Julia did not make claims of abuse until Solomon filed for a divorce and a protective order to make sure the children were protected from her dangerous (according to him) behaviors.

4. Julia's reported suicidal text message support Solomon's claims, not hers.

5. Julia's several hospitalizations support Solomon's claims, not hers.

6. Media reports suggest a relationship that included much socializing and fun until the kids were born. That also is not typical of a relationship in which the man is controlling and sadistic. Usually, they tend to isolate their victims.

7. Julia is a liar, according to LE. She claimed to have run out of gas but her car was found with gas an no mechanical problems.

8. The abuse allegations suddenly escalated. Solomon went from a man who was a "great father" according to Julia's suicide text, to a man who then physically abused her, then bruised the children and then, finally, molested M. Solomon claims that these ever-escalating allegations were the efforts of a mentally ill mother struggling to maintain custody (and financial support for) her children and that if she was believed, and he was not, something bad would likely happen to her or their children.

9. Something bad did happen. Sky is now missing and no one can be found who saw him in the two weeks prior to his reported disappearance.

10. Solomon was ordered to undergo various lengthy and very costly domestic violence classes before he could regain visitation rights (according to reports). he has not done that, according to his attorney, because he lacks the funds. Thus, Julia was going into the looming trial with the upper hand, legally, and the better position to keep him from having custody or visitation rights. Yet, at court-ordered mediation prior to trial, she agreed to him having every other weekend with the kids, unsupervised. Domestic violence is child abuse. It is dangerous to children Nevertheless, Julia agreed to allowing him to have visitation prior to completing such classes.

 

[BritsKate]

Because I had to protect my kids once by kidnapping them too the only difference was I had loads of proof of abuse and all charges were dropped. I do know the fear all to well of wanting to protect your children when the courts won't. Abusers have too many rights. My experience was horrific. And I'm trying to figure out if jb did the same thing. I think the meds may have attributed to much of her problems. I studied psychology for years and the one thing I learned was certain medicatuons can really mess a person up.

I just have a feeling sky is being hidden. That's the reason she doesn't post pics of him because she does.t want him recognized. And this whole missing thing occured right after court case.<modsnip>.

Mine was too. Despite reams of evidence documenting a decade of domestic violence, psychiatric hospitalizations, and (at that time current) evidence of stalking, intimidation, and threats with me fighting like hell against it the courts still gave my ex unsupervised visitation. It took him attempting suicide in front of his 12 year old daughter for the court to reconsider and order supervision. Then only after he plead guilty and was subsequently convicted for drugging and raping a 14 year old was visitation finally suspended indefinitely.

Trust me - I get it. Which is why I can quite easily say I would die a thousand deaths before I would allow my ex custody...it's why I followed the rules of the order, attended mediation and parenting classes, and petitioned the court for an order granting permission to remove the children rather than kidnapping them as the state in which I resided has a reversal custody law in place meaning I could have lost custody altogether to him had I interfered with the court's rulings or refused to follow them.

As terrifying as those hours were that the kids had visitations the thought of them being alone with him day in and day out with no monitoring was unimaginable.

 

[PolyGraph]

BBM
I'm not understanding the comparison of these cases at all. I don't profess to know much about the Columbine killings or annihilator-type murders however just Susan Smith and Andrea Yates are wholly incomparable - as are Dena Schlosser and Diane Downs. This is Sky's thread and I don't want to derail but a psychotic filicide and non-psychotic filicide are as different as night to day in my opinion.

Both Dena Schlosser and Andrea Yates committed psychotic filicides meaning that while their crimes are horrible they did not at the time of their children's murder understand the depth of their atrocity. Both suffered from post partum psychosis, were found to be not guilty by reason of insanity, and that has been recognised by the courts through their acquittals.

Smith and Downs both cold-bloodedly murdered their children because, presumably, intended lovers did not want children. Both women are afflicted with personality disorders, both crimes are categorized as non-psychotic filicide and both women were sentenced to life in prison for their crimes. I cannot find any information to confirm Smith was prescribed psychotropics before the murder of her sons either. Do you have a link for that?

No one here has to accept theories as facts though. It has been reported in abundancy that the court has found the abuse allegations unfounded so therefore I do not consider it a known fact. It is every bit as likely that JB exaggerated a domestic argument in her quest to alienate a non-custodial parent as it is that SM beat her. None of us were there so none of us truly know - we are left with opinions based on known facts and personal experience. Even if he was abusive though it does not change the fact in any way, shape or form that JB abandoned a two year old in a car on the side of a road. Which is why Sky is missing after all.

ETA: A copy of the transcript on NG was posted by Patty G in which Clay Terry, SM's attorney, stated the results of the 2nd poly could not be discussed. Never did he state the 2nd one was also inconclusive. Of course that is just that one show so perhaps it was stated elsewhere but both links below state the same. Results not disclosed.
http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1111/14/ng.01.html

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2016748652_missing12m.html
http://www.king5.com/news/local/sky...-Skys-still-waiting-for-mother-133701148.html

I was trying to show how.these.crimes.are.commited AFTER the perpetrator was already on the drugs...never before. In fact... Almost all the crimes where a mom kills her children or kids kill other kids I've noticed a connection....almost all were on on mind meds...I don't see the same stats for those crimes before they ere medicated...but that is a whole new topic...

As far as.the.second poly it was stated on one of the talks shows that both were inconclusive. I'll get the link when I get home. I'm on an annoying cell phone right now lol.

I'm not asking anyone to except.theories as fact. I hope u are not misunderstanding me...I just want people to be more open minded and question SM as much as JB.
I think the real victims here are the children and I'm not feeling that SM is a real victim here yet. I'm just learning as much info as possible... I'm sorry I feel this way but I can't feel for SM ...I just can't yet maybe as more is revealed.

 

[jjenny]

Mine was too. Despite reams of evidence documenting a decade of domestic violence, psychiatric hospitalizations, and (at that time current) evidence of stalking, intimidation, and threats with me fighting like hell against it the courts still gave my ex unsupervised visitation. It took him attempting suicide in front of his 12 year old daughter for the court to reconsider and order supervision. Then only after he plead guilty and was subsequently convicted for drugging and raping a 14 year old was visitation finally suspended indefinitely.

Trust me - I get it. Which is why I can quite easily say I would die a thousand deaths before I would allow my ex custody...it's why I followed the rules of the order, attended mediation and parenting classes, and petitioned the court for an order granting permission to remove the children rather than kidnapping them as the state in which I resided has a reversal custody law in place meaning I could have lost custody altogether to him had I interfered with the court's rulings or refused to follow them.

As terrifying as those hours were that the kids had visitations the thought of them being alone with him day in and day out with no monitoring was unimaginable.

<modsnip>. She wanted the father to have custody of his daughter. So clearly she knows he isn't a danger to the child.

 

[PolyGraph]

Considering she actually has two children, and only one is missing, the idea that she is hiding one child to somehow "save" him makes no sense whatsoever. In addition she wanted her daughter to go to the father instead of foster care, which very clearly indicates she wasn't at all concerned about the father hurting the children.

Yes I.agree I don't exactly understand that move either. I just feel in my heart he is not dead. Maybe wishful thinking on my part bit it happened right after she wanted.to.leave with the kids and that's the first thing that came to my mind.

 

[gitana1]

Because I had to protect my kids once by kidnapping them too the only difference was I had loads of proof of abuse and all charges were dropped. I do know the fear all to well of wanting to protect your children when the courts won't. Abusers have too many rights. My experience was horrific. And I'm trying to figure out if jb did the same thing. I think the meds may have attributed to much of her problems. I studied psychology for years and the one thing I learned was certain medicatuons can really mess a person up.

I just have a feeling sky is being hidden. That's the reason she doesn't post pics of him because she does.t want him recognized. And this whole missing thing occured right after court case. < mod snip >

Please be aware that Julia did indeed post photos of Sky. Tons of them. On her public flikr account. There were 362 photos of Sky on her public flikr account when he went missing and for weeks afterwards (it is private now and she started to make changes in the last few days). Yes, there was only 1 photo of Sky for every 50 of her daughter, that were posted since Sky was born, but still, there were tons of photos of him.

ETA: One other thing, your personal and horrible experience may cause you to view things a certain way. But it does not mean that what happened to you also happened to Julia. As a family law attorney, I can tell you of hundreds of cases where women falsely claim abuse in order to get the upper hand in custody and child support cases. Women are abused in our country but sadly, other women just lie about it.

 

[tlcya]

The reason I don't question SM to the degree I question JB is xtremely simple. SM was not the person who had the care and custody of Sky when he was reported missing. SM had not seen his children in a very long while.

JB had total control over those children, with no interference from SM. Whatever happened to Sky, happened on JB's watch.

Therefore, I question every single not adding up word out of her mouth.

 

[Rougelatete]

Good post. One thing, though: We do not know whether the court found Julia's abuse claims unfounded. Solomon and his attorney stated LE and CPD determined they were unfounded and thus took no action.

It does appear that the claim about sexual abuse was determined to be unfounded by the family law court. However, I am not sure about the physical abuse claims. Also, it appears the Julia's claims of domestic violence were absolutely believed by the family law court because he has a restraining order against him.

I have considered it a possibility that Solomon abused Julia. I still consider that possibility. But, I tend to doubt those claims at this point for the following reasons:

1. Apart from the family law court rulings, there is nothing that has been released to substantiate Julia's claims.

2. Julia stated Solomon had never hit her or physically hurt her until the last year of marriage. As they had been together for 14 years, this does not fit the typical pattern of an abuser.

3. Julia did not make claims of abuse until Solomon filed for a divorce and a protective order to make sure the children were protected from her dangerous (according to him) behaviors.

4. Julia's reported suicidal text message support Solomon's claims, not hers.

5. Julia's several hospitalizations support Solomon's claims, not hers.

6. Media reports suggest a relationship that included much socializing and fun until the kids were born. That also is not typical of a relationship in which the man is controlling and sadistic. Usually, they tend to isolate their victims.

7. Julia is a liar, according to LE. She claimed to have run out of gas but her car was found with gas an no mechanical problems.

8. The abuse allegations suddenly escalated. Solomon went from a man who was a "great father" according to Julia's suicide text, to a man who then physically abused her, then bruised the children and then, finally, molested M. Solomon claims that these ever-escalating allegations were the efforts of a mentally ill mother struggling to maintain custody (and financial support for) her children and that if she was believed, and he was not, something bad would likely happen to her or their children.

9. Something bad did happen. Sky is now missing and no one can be found who saw him in the two weeks prior to his reported disappearance.

10. Solomon was ordered to undergo various lengthy and very costly domestic violence classes before he could regain visitation rights (according to reports). he has not done that, according to his attorney, because he lacks the funds. Thus, Julia was going into the looming trial with the upper hand, legally, and the better position to keep him from having custody or visitation rights. Yet, at court-ordered mediation prior to trial, she agreed to him having every other weekend with the kids, unsupervised. Domestic violence is child abuse. It is dangerous to children Nevertheless, Julia agreed to allowing him to have visitation prior to completing such classes.

Gitana -- in regards to the family court upholding of the DV claims -- wasn't there something written in MSM about that particular judge having a significant history of being biased in DV cases (slamming the book at men and always believing women without effectively looking into the specifics of each case)? I doubt we can post that judge's name here, but I think I do recall something about this judge having a not-so-judicial history....

 

[BritsKate]

Good post. One thing, though: We do not know whether the court found Julia's abuse claims unfounded. Solomon and his attorney stated LE and CPD determined they were unfounded and thus took no action.

It does appear that the claim about sexual abuse was determined to be unfounded by the family law court. However, I am not sure about the physical abuse claims. Also, it appears the Julia's claims of domestic violence were absolutely believed by the family law court because he has a restraining order against him.

I have considered it a possibility that Solomon abused Julia. I still consider that possibility. But, I tend to doubt those claims at this point for the following reasons:

1. Apart from the family law court rulings, there is nothing that has been released to substantiate Julia's claims.

2.Julia stated Solomon had never hit her or physically hurt her until the last year of marriage. As they had been together for 14 years, this does not fit the typical pattern of an abuser.

3. Julia did not make claims of abuse until Solomon filed for a divorce and a protective order to make sure the children were protected from her dangerous (according to him) behaviors.

4. Julia's reported suicidal text message support Solomon's claims, not hers.

5. Julia's several hospitalizations support Solomon's claims, not hers.

6. Media reports suggest a relationship that included much socializing and fun until the kids were born. That also is not typical of a relationship in which the man is controlling and sadistic. Usually, they tend to isolate their victims.

7. Julia is a liar, according to LE. She claimed to have run out of gas but her car was found with gas an no mechanical problems.

8. The abuse allegations suddenly escalated. Solomon went from a man who was a "great father" according to Julia's suicide text, to a man who then physically abused her, then bruised the children and then, finally, molested M. Solomon claims that these ever-escalating allegations were the efforts of a mentally ill mother struggling to maintain custody (and financial support for) her children and that if she was believed, and he was not, something bad would likely happen to her or their children.

9. Something bad did happen. Sky is now missing and no one can be found who saw him in the two weeks prior to his reported disappearance.

10. Solomon was ordered to undergo various lengthy and very costly domestic violence classes before he could regain visitation rights (according to reports). he has not done that, according to his attorney, because he lacks the funds. Thus, Julia was going into the looming trial with the upper hand, legally, and the better position to keep him from having custody or visitation rights. Yet, at court-ordered mediation prior to trial, she agreed to him having every other weekend with the kids, unsupervised. Domestic violence is child abuse. It is dangerous to children Nevertheless, Julia agreed to allowing him to have visitation prior to completing such classes.

Have I mentioned how very much I love having you on these boards? :blowkiss: Thank you for the clarification. Several of your points are why I myself cannot believe her.

I'm so grateful to have your knowledge on board in these cases though - thank you!

 

[gitana1]

I was trying to show how.these.crimes.are.commited AFTER the perpetrator was already on the drugs...never before. In fact... Almost all the crimes where a mom kills her children or kids kill other kids I've noticed a connection....almost all were on on mind meds...I don't see the same stats for those crimes before they ere medicated...but that is a whole new topic...

As far as.the.second poly it was stated on one of the talks shows that both were inconclusive. I'll get the link when I get home. I'm on an annoying cell phone right now lol.

I'm not asking anyone to except.theories as fact. I hope u are not misunderstanding me...I just want people to be more open minded and question SM as much as JB.
I think the real victims here are the children and I'm not feeling that SM is a real victim here yet. I'm just learning as much info as possible... I'm sorry I feel this way but I can't feel for SM ...I just can't yet maybe as more is revealed.

On this site (websleuths), Solomon IS still a victim, however. No matter our personal feelings otherwise.

 

[BritsKate]

<modsnip>. She wanted the father to have custody of his daughter. So clearly she knows he isn't a danger to the child.

That was my point - sorry if I wasn't more clear.

 

[PolyGraph]

Mine was too. Despite reams of evidence documenting a decade of domestic violence, psychiatric hospitalizations, and (at that time current) evidence of stalking, intimidation, and threats with me fighting like hell against it the courts still gave my ex unsupervised visitation. It took him attempting suicide in front of his 12 year old daughter for the court to reconsider and order supervision. Then only after he plead guilty and was subsequently convicted for drugging and raping a 14 year old was visitation finally suspended indefinitely.

Trust me - I get it. Which is why I can quite easily say I would die a thousand deaths before I would allow my ex custody...it's why I followed the rules of the order, attended mediation and parenting classes, and petitioned the court for an order granting permission to remove the children rather than kidnapping them as the state in which I resided has a reversal custody law in place meaning I could have lost custody altogether to him had I interfered with the court's rulings or refused to follow them.

As terrifying as those hours were that the kids had visitations the thought of them being alone with him day in and day out with no monitoring was unimaginable.

OMG I'm so sorry u had to.go.through that. You are a.brave woman for.letting the courts decide. I couldn't do it...I had to leave. Luckily I was able to price it and my parents have money and hired a darn good attorney or I.could still be in jail. My attoeny was able to get all the documents brought in to court and police to testify for me.

I.can't understand how u stayed strong I would have had a nervous breakdown. You are very brave and um glad u have your children back safe. Mine were just babies when that happened. They could not even fend for.themselves.
Thank god he screwed up so bad and the courts saw the truth. Thank the lord. Their are many women who. Follow.the rules of the.court and their children end up abused or dead. We are truly blessed.

 

[gitana1]

Gitana -- in regards to the family court upholding of the DV claims -- wasn't there something written in MSM about that particular judge having a significant history of being biased in DV cases (slamming the book at men and always believing women without effectively looking into the specifics of each case)? I doubt we can post that judge's name here, but I think I do recall something about this judge having a not-so-judicial history....

Well, I did post a link, but n/t respectfully pointed out that it was an article from a website, not an MSM article. In fact, it is from a domestic violence website but is does appear that it may be geared towards people who have been falsely accused.

In any event, a couple MSM articles recently pointed out that the group that owns the site is investigating the commissioner in question as well as supervising judicial officers, for their conduct in connection with this case but had already been investigating prior to this case! They claim there is some corruption in the court system there.