Willow and Bristol Palin post slurs and profanity on FB

[animlzrule]

While being very aware of the current research and statistics regarding brain developement and function as it correlates to age, nothing will convince me that in today's society, with all of the publicity that hate speech, bullying, and teen suicides has been getting lately, these girls didn't know exactly the consequences of the words they were using, and the context in which it was going to be understood. The words were chosen for a reason, because they are hateful words. That the words were tossed off so cavalierly is so sad. It is indefensible and inexcusable for the age group we are discussing.

 

[Dark Knight]

Both of my children, 19 and 21, have Facebooks and I am their friend. When they post something that I deem inappropriate I call them on it. I have raised them knowing right from wrong, but wrong shouldn't mean forever. It's wrong and then it's done. Are y'all saying after 18 if you make a mistake that other people should judge you on it? When and if I go to heaven I hope that I am judged by God's grace and not by my mistakes.

You call your 21 year old out on it still? lol! I bet they love that. :crazy:

 

[Kimberlyd125]

Am I posting too much and it's considered shouting the loudest?

I have tried to do research and link about it. I'm not just talking to talk. It is a scientific fact that a 16 year old child's brain is not fully developed. Not even a Palin's.

The point I'm trying to make is she should not be held in any higher standards than any other teen just because of who her Mom is. It has been said that she should "know better" because she is in the public eye. Well, that's just not how it works.

FWIW I have not seen anybody say anybody does not have the right to their opinion WAD.

 

[WhyaDuck?]

Am I posting too much and it's considered shouting the loudest?

I have tried to do research and link about it. I'm not just talking to talk. It is a scientific fact that a 16 year old child's brain is not fully developed. Not even a Palin's.

The point I'm trying to make is she should not be held in any higher standards than any other teen just because of who her Mom is. It has been said that she should "know better" because she is in the public eye. Well, that's just not how it works.

FWIW I have not seen anybody say anybody does not have the right to their opinion WAD.

People don't just say "your opinion is invalid" though direct words.

I was merely stating that my opinion is as it is, may have no value to anyone who sees me as an just a non-expert in this matters (which is fine), and should be taken for what it's worth.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

While being very aware of the current research and statistics regarding brain developement and function as it correlates to age, nothing will convince me that in today's society, with all of the publicity that hate speech, bullying, and teen suicides has been getting lately, these girls didn't know exactly the consequences of the words they were using, and the context in which it was going to be understood. The words were chosen for a reason, because they are hateful words. That the words were tossed off so cavalierly is so sad. It is indefensible and inexcusable for the age group we are discussing.

Oh I agree she knows what those words mean and she was useing them to be a little smart arse. She was trying to get back at another smartarse. But it's about impulse control. All teens have issues with that. That's why most of us think they are from another planet.

 

[animlzrule]

You call your 21 year old out on it still? lol! I bet they love that. :crazy:

My sister monitors her 20 year old's facebook as much as she can as well, and he's away at college!!! Luckily he's a pretty responsible young man and is savvy about how he presents his business. We love to kid him about his page but actually it's proud evidence of the young man he's become. I'm not a fan of facebook but I admit I love to be able to get a glimpse of him now and then being a bit less guarded and it's interesting to see how others relate to him! I haven't asked him to friend me though, don't want to be an intrusive aunt.:angel:

 

[Kimberlyd125]

People don't just say "your opinion is invalid" though direct words.

I was merely stating that my opinion is as it is, may have no value to anyone who sees me as an just a non-expert in this matters (which is fine), and should be taken for what it's worth.

I can appreciate that. I see you made your last sentence more clear. It was the shout the loudest part that I didn't get.

Anyway, I never intended to imply your opinion was not valid. I just disagreed with it.

 

[WhyaDuck?]

My sister monitors her 20 year old's facebook as much as she can as well, and he's away at college!!! Luckily he's a pretty responsible young man and is savvy about how he presents his business. We love to kid him about his page but actually it's proud evidence of the young man he's become. I'm not a fan of facebook but I admit I love to be able to get a glimpse of him now and then being a bit less guarded and it's interesting to see how others relate to him! I haven't asked him to friend me though, don't want to be an intrusive aunt.:angel:

Come on - who doesn't want to be FB friends with their aunt? :crazy:

(Maybe he's afraid to learn what type of things you get up to.)

 

[JBean]

Am I posting too much and it's considered shouting the loudest?

I have tried to do research and link about it. I'm not just talking to talk. It is a scientific fact that a 16 year old child's brain is not fully developed. Not even a Palin's.

The point I'm trying to make is she should not be held in any higher standards than any other teen just because of who her Mom is. It has been said that she should "know better" because she is in the public eye. Well, that's just not how it works.

FWIW I have not seen anybody say anybody does not have the right to their opinion WAD.

It shouldn't be considered higher standards. it should be considered plain old standards and we have to teach them.
of course it is normal for kids to behave badly from time to time when they are still maturing. but it is equally as normal for adults to tell them it is wrong and guide them towards proper behavior. Making excuses for children does not help them, but rather it validates their behavior and it takes them longer to understand and modify.
With 5 boys I could have just blown off all their boyish behaviors growing up with "boys will be boys". While i agree boys will be boys and kids will be kids, that's where we grownups step in and say, it may be expected, but it's not ok so you're grounded LOL.

 

[tlcya]

My point is I don't think I AM holding the particular girl or girls up to any higher standard than I do any teen of that age.

My point is, that I think you are right and that it is common behavior among teens. My point is that I am concerned by that fact.

I am writing of teens in general and not of these teen personally for some time, as you suggest we should not come at HER behavior specifically, and I kind of agreed with you there to. I am not the person who keeps bringing it back to the young lady in particular.

I am not trying to argue with anyone but rather figure out for my own self my thoughts about all this. I genuinely do see a connection between technology and a distrubing trend of lack of responsibility and good judgement and accountability for bad behavior.

I really do think throwing around derogatory slurs is wrong. Period. I really do think they ae old enough to know better. I have no links. I have simply my own life, my own childhood. By the time I was 12 13, I certainly knew well enough what was okay, what was not, what was cruel and what was not.

 

[JBean]

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124119468

Teenage Brains Are Different

She learned that that it's not so much what teens are thinking — it's how.

Jensen says scientists used to think human brain development was pretty complete by age 10. Or as she puts it, that "a teenage brain is just an adult brain with fewer miles on it."

But it's not. To begin with, she says, a crucial part of the brain — the frontal lobes — are not fully connected. Really.

"It's the part of the brain that says: 'Is this a good idea? What is the consequence of this action?' " Jensen says. "It's not that they don't have a frontal lobe. And they can use it. But they're going to access it more slowly."

That's because the nerve cells that connect teenagers' frontal lobes with the rest of their brains are sluggish. Teenagers don't have as much of the fatty coating called myelin, or "white matter," that adults have in this area.

But they are capable of learning Kimberly! if we let this go or write it off as teen behavior it will turn into adult behavior. Otherwise teens wold just run wild while we all sat around waiting for them to turn 25 LOL.

Normal does not equal acceptable. Normal underdeveloped brains means undeveloped behavior that we need to shape.

 

[animlzrule]

Come on - who doesn't want to be FB friends with their aunt? :crazy:

(Maybe he's afraid to learn what type of things you get up to.)

He very well could just now be able to make eye contact with me after realizing that I listen to Sirius radio Alt Nation (an alternative rock channel for those who aren't familiar)He's in a couple bands and I think it knocked him back a bit to think of his 40 year old aunt listening to a lot of the same music. I'm sure the music is no longer as "sick" (a good thing) as it used to be!

 

[WhyaDuck?]

He very well could just now be able to make eye contact with me after realizing that I listen to Sirius radio Alt Nation (an alternative rock channel for those who aren't familiar)He's in a couple bands and I think it knocked him back a bit to think of his 40 year old aunt listening to a lot of the same music. I'm sure the music is no longer as "sick" (a good thing) as it used to be!

Seeing your elders on FB can really rattle you - I know from whence I speak. Those, "Holy carp, is that auntie Em doing Jello shooters at Chippendale's?" moments are not fun at all.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

It shouldn't be considered higher standards. it should be considered plain old standards and we have to teach them.
of course it is normal for kids to behave badly from time to time when they are still maturing. but it is equally as normal for adults to tell them it is wrong and guide them towards proper behavior. Making excuses for children does not help them, but rather it validates their behavior and it takes them longer to understand and modify.
With 5 boys I could have just blown off all their boyish behaviors growing up with "boys will be boys". While i agree boys will be boys and kids will be kids, that's where we grownups step in and say, it may be expected, but it's not ok so you're grounded LOL.

I've said what she did was wrong at least 20 times today. The words she used were poor choices for sure.
But, I do understand why she did it. Not that is was right. But, to a 16 year old whose Mother and Sister are being made fun of, the normal reaction is to strike back. And sadly, "that's gay" or "you're gay" is so commonly used, that's what popped into her head to say.

As a matter of fact, she said, "you're gay, I don't even know you"
So, she didn't even know the guy but choose those words. It's not like she could have known his personal sexual feelings to know if he was gay or not.

She used them to be mean, to strike back. It was WRONG.

But, my point is, what should we do???? Harp on her or let her parents handle it? I don't think TMZ should have even reported this. She's a minor. Having a discussion with another minor. His name was blacked out of the TMZ screen shots, but everybody knows who she is so it's ok to bash her.
Make his name public and lets bash on him for a while. I'm overweight and he offended me by using the word FAT. I bet overweight people get just as offended as gay people. My mom got preg when she was a teen and it offended me that he used that against BP. I bet teens who get preg and are then judged for it get just as offended as gay people.

It's only because she is SP's daughter. A celebrity's daughter.

She's a 16 year old child. She made a mistake. Give her a break.

 

[Filly]

They all seem to have no filter, no jimminy cricket guiding their behavior when using these mediums.

They see it as license to behave in ways they probably not behave talking face to face.

By the time they do talk face to face it's already escelated. Probably 2,000 unfiltered words have passed between X number of kids and then it all goes bad.

I've been in the company of nephews and DD where they all have their face in a phone or iPods on or playing a video game. Nobody is talking in real time about real issues. All in the same room.

To be fair gentleman friend has a nephew. Ivy League graduate. Good kid. Well he's a young man. We're at a Phillie's game and half the time he's on that iPhone looking up baseball stats or whatever is current like in that second. He's well passed the age of fighting on Myspace, but again no face to face contact. Gentleman friend is infuriated as he won't even own a cell phone.

Whatever happened to "I offer you out? Meet in the school yard at 3:15?" Obviously the WP wouldn't even know the guy doing the posting in the first place if there was no social networking.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

But they are capable of learning Kimberly! if we let this go or write it off as teen behavior it will turn into adult behavior. Otherwise teens wold just run wild while we all sat around waiting for them to turn 25 LOL.

Normal does not equal acceptable. Normal underdeveloped brains means undeveloped behavior that we need to shape.

Ok, so she made the mistake. Now it's time for her to learn from it. What more can we do to her? Really?

This child needs to be left to her family to teach her, not the court of public opinion at 16.

 

[jandkmom]

Hope this isn't too long of a story.

A couple of years ago my daughter had an inappropriate rap song on her iPod that was played before a softball game. As soon as it started to play another mom ran to the announcer and had him turn it off. I was mortified and she started discussing it with another mom. I talked to my daughter about it after the game rather firmly. She had downloaded it several months prior and it never crossed her mind that it was still there, but she had downloaded it and didn't deny it. I didn't ask her to delete it and actually if she had have done it then, she could have loaded it back on later and I wouldn't have know. A month or so later I noticed that she had wiped her iPod and just loaded it with Christian songs and those songs where no longer on the computer. At the softball banquet the coach showed a video of the girls on a trip to a softball tournament on a weekend where none of the parents got to go. All of the girls rode a ride called the Slingshot which is basically a bungee for two people that get slung in the air. Well guess who let the same word in the song come screaming out of her mouth in the video...the girl whose mom was self-righteous. You couldn't hear the words, but there was no doubt was was said. She said it several times too. We were each given a video of the season and that was in it. I felt bad for the girl and mom and hope it will never be put on you tube. You should never say what your kids will or won't do. They will and hopefully they will learn from it.

 

[WhyaDuck?]

Ok, so she made the mistake. Now it's time for her to learn from it. What more can we do to her? Really?

This child needs to be left to her family to teach her, not the court of public opinion at 16.

None of us have the power to do anything to her, and, seeing as how I barely know who she is, I wouldn't care to.

But why is it wrong to discuss these words and their meanings? I only got into this discussion because of the fact that they were being described as "common slang," and that is the point I (and many others here) were actually discussing. I haven't seen anyone describe what they'd like to do to these people in punishment.

In fact, most of us left the particular people out of this some time ago, I believe.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

Seeing your elders on FB can really rattle you - I know from whence I speak. Those, "Holy carp, is that auntie Em doing Jello shooters at Chippendale's?" moments are not fun at all.

:floorlaugh: That's funny.

 

[Filly]

Seeing your elders on FB can really rattle you - I know from whence I speak. Those, "Holy carp, is that auntie Em doing Jello shooters at Chippendale's?" moments are not fun at all.

That's classic. Friends and family ask me why don't I have a FB? I tell them I'm an outlaw. No way do I need people linking me to any photograph past or present.

My brother calls it SPYspace and TRACEbook. I love when all the sudden the kids remove that wall thingie. Better yet when a friend posts pictures from when you were kids and you're well doing something you tell your own kids never to do!