bellyup
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2010
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<modsnip>... if you start with the presupposition that BL is an abuser... it's clear from this forum that EVERYTHING he does (or we imagine he does) is some kind of evidence of some kind of abuse... and if we see him do something objectively good... well that's just the way clever abusers are!
I heard GP crying in the car because she's tired, dirty, living in a tough situation, and her boyfriend doesn't believe she'll become a TikTok star. People on this forum hear he's mentally and financially abusing her - while trying to steal her car!
Unless you are familiar with behavioral patterns as they relate to emotional and mental abuse they can be hard to spot.
I didn't start with the presupposition that BL was an abuser. In fact, I went back and forth through out the video and listened carefully watching for patterns of behavior. One pattern that stood out to me was GP's repeated insistence that she was the problem. A classic victim response called "fawning". Take all the accountability. You're unstable. You're the problem. It's the human equivalent of rolling over and playing dead hoping you won't be harmed further.
Couple that with Brian's pattern of denying, accusing and reversing victim and offender (called DARVO) it's a classic mental/emotional abuse cycle. There's other things that show the cycle as well (including Gabby's high emotional state and near hysterics being fight or flight). For what it's worth I also tried to see patterns in reverse and they just weren't there. Someone posted the abuse wheel, might be worth taking a look at.