Found Deceased NY - Jennifer Ramsaran, 36, Chenango County, 11 Dec 2012 - # 3

[Lavanda Dolce]

I don't believe she was going to meet someone from online. The phone and van were found much too close to her home. She wouldn't be arranging such a meeting in Norwich, basically under the nose of her husband.

Ok. So let's go with that thought. Part of it.
If you look at map....both the phone and the van "could be" paths to the mall. So what happened?
You mention

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

I had to have mine resized after I lost weight. I actually didn't wear mine for a few weeks until I was able to drop it off at the jewelers.

Me too. When I had my hand and arm surgery. I wore a fake ring for awhile then said forget that too!

 

[enzeder]

Lavonda, here are two thoughts on the rings:

1) she found out about the affair and took them off

2) he took them off

3) she ran away from her life and left them (but why not take them and pawn them?)


eta: hahaha I guess that was three thoughts

BBM - Either 1) or 2) - More likely 2) IMO

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

Or she found out about her husbands affair and took them off because the symbolism was gone... (five)

Piper, I think that was already one of the 4..but I could be mistaken. so let's list them all on one:

1. Removed to meet someone
2. Removed as too large and annoying from weight loss
3. GR removed as a keepsake (might as well throw this in as someone else will)
4. Removed due to concerns/rumor of infidelity


I think only four?

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

Five possibles:

1. Removed to meet someone
2. Removed as too large and annoying from weight loss
3. GR removed as a keepsake (might as well throw this in as someone else will)
4. Removed due to concerns/rumor of infidelity
5. Removed due to leaving all of present life behind

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

1. Removed to meet someone
2. Removed as too large and annoying from weight loss
3. GR removed as a keepsake (might as well throw this in as someone else will)
4. Removed due to concerns/rumor of infidelity
5. Removed due to leaving all of present life behind

So the only thoughts above that would have significance in a missing person would be: 1, 3 and 5

Now....lets rule those out. Is everyone in agreement that only 1, 3 and 5 have "significance" in regards to being a "lead" as to why someone is missing?

 

[nursebeeme]

1. Removed to meet someone
2. Removed as too large and annoying from weight loss
3. GR removed as a keepsake (might as well throw this in as someone else will)
4. Removed due to concerns/rumor of infidelity
5. Removed due to leaving all of present life behind

So the only thoughts above that would have significance in a missing person would be: 1, 3 and 5

Now....lets rule those out. Is everyone in agreement that only 1, 3 and 5 have "significance" in regards to being a "lead" as to why someone is missing?

I think they are all worthy of consideration

If she were depressed number 4 could also be a possibility.

 

[Amanda79]

6. Removed by GR so it would look like JR ran away.
7. Fibromyalgia can cause painful swollen joints. Rings can feel tight and uncomfortable.

Do you know when they were taken off?

 

[nursebeeme]

I like these lists Lavonda.. could we do one for the van? I will start

questions about the van:

1) why was it left there
2) how was it parked (neatly parked? hidden/easily seen from road?)
3) were the doors unlocked
4) what was the seat position (did it look like she had been driving it)
5) were any other personal belongings left in it?
6) if the phone was tossed why not leave it in the van
7) how much gas was left
8) when was the last oil change (usually milage is noted at that time and maybe you could figure from that the mileage for that day or at least estimate)
9) any receipts etc left in the van?
10) any ccvid from around where the van was left?
11) have bodies of water and dumpsters around the van been checked?

 

[Londonrraine]

I'll not be revealing the source Cheese.

The affair was with Jennifer's best friend ES. Again, not revealing the source.

Obviously, you are free to believe or not believe what you will.

Lavonda, you asked about knowledge of this affair? Seems like it wasn't a secret.

 

[sreshowtime]

well darn I was hoping the photography thing might be worth exploring

If we only knew the actual subject of online gaming she did, it might help to identify any related events, etc in regard to the subject of.
It was a Tuesday. It would seem like most conventions - like Philcon, Worldcon, etc- or stuff related to gaming would be on weekends? I don't know how or what the online gaming world may actually do in real life related to their subject.

 

[Tennlyn]

I like these lists Lavonda.. could we do one for the van? I will start

questions about the van:

1) why was it left there
2) how was it parked (neatly parked? hidden/easily seen from road?)
3) were the doors unlocked
4) what was the seat position (did it look like she had been driving it)
5) were any other personal belongings left in it?
6) if the phone was tossed why not leave it in the van
7) how much gas was left
8) when was the last oil change (usually milage is noted at that time and maybe you could figure from that the mileage for that day or at least estimate)
9) any receipts etc left in the van?
10) any ccvid from around where the van was left?
11) have bodies of water and dumpsters around the van been checked?

Similar questions are also possible about the phone.

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

6. Removed by GR so it would look like JR ran away.
7. Fibromyalgia can cause painful swollen joints. Rings can feel tight and uncomfortable.

Do you know when they were taken off?

Amanda both your thoughts fall under categories listed. Fibro can fall under the weight loss/ annoying.

 

[Sharoneonta]

Lavonda, Do you believe GR was not having an affair?

 

[WestCoastLady]

I'm still on page #38 so bear with me if someone else has said this, but....

Could they be using "games" as an euphemism for something a little more "adult"? There are tons of sites/apps for adults to chat/exchange thoughts/pictures, etc.

I'm not thinking *advertiser censored* necessarily, but maybe some place where she was getting the "feel good" vibes from people. It's a safe and relatively harmless way to flirt and find distractions from everyday life sometimes.

Just something to think about....

 

[Sharoneonta]

The feeling of falling in love could have caused weight loss, meeting someone who may or may not know what you look like could me a motivator for losing weight.

I can see the possibility of her meeting with someone at Plank Road, going somewhere rural to talk or have privacy. Explaining the mud.

It's possible that if Jennifer met with someone they could have had a plan to harm her or they could have been disappointed if they made advances that were refused.

They could have then harmed Jennifer and then returned to their vehicle at Plank Road.

Brainstorming....

 

[Londonrraine]

well darn I was hoping the photography thing might be worth exploring

If we only knew the actual subject of online gaming she did, it might help to identify any related events, etc in regard to the subject of.
It was a Tuesday. It would seem like most conventions - like Philcon, Worldcon, etc- or stuff related to gaming would be on weekends? I don't know how or what the online gaming world may actually do in real life related to their subject.

I think any and all online connections are worth looking into. Absolutely.

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

well darn I was hoping the photography thing might be worth exploring

If we only knew the actual subject of online gaming she did, it might help to identify any related events, etc in regard to the subject of.
It was a Tuesday. It would seem like most conventions - like Philcon, Worldcon, etc- or stuff related to gaming would be on weekends? I don't know how or what the online gaming world may actually do in real life related to their subject.

I don't know because I don't know much about "gaming" or those conventions. I do know I looked and spent a very long time in Norwich trying to find something happening that day, aside from the Pharma company making headlines....but something that may have been in the town...photographs outside...anything that "could" have captured her van. I have yet to do Plymouth NY. I'm hoping someone has one of those "family webcam sites" that may also have picked something up. I also noticed the firestation and GR is checking to find out if they had a camera that records only a bit down the road from where cell phone was found.

 

[LadyBugSTL]

"Important thoughts to Ponder"

Let's, for a moment, take a path of possibilities with me...for those who wish to follow along here to help me find some answers or thoughts.

My belief: (also note my beliefs can vary...but are along the same line.)

• I personally do not believe JR made it to the mall. Merely because of the locations of the cell phone and van.

→I do not know if JR truly intended to go to the mall or if that was where she was telling JR she was going.

Possible reasons? Numerous. Here are some examples:

→Being that it was around Christmas time… even I have "lied" and said I was going to a large outlet mall but in reality I actually drove to a specialty store in Maine (out of state) to buy my husband's snowmobile helmet a few years ago. I couldnt tell him the truth of where I was going...else it would have spoiled his Christmas gift.

→Did JR use the mall as a reason to meet someone from online? This would give nearly 5 hours of "accountable time" to her family and the chance to meet, and maybe innocently enough someone she could meet that is "outside" of her normal circles and "outside" of all the traveling that she did with her husband for his interests, someone she played gaming with? Someone that she could meet that was "her friend" and nobody elses. (If that makes sense.) We all know they did a lot of travel from photos. A lot of family activities and a lot focused around her husband's passion…not necessarily her own as she had bad feet with metal that prohibited her from running. She also battled weight. Not to say she was obese in any way…but it is difficult to be a bit overweight and live with someone who is extremely fit and extremely active. So maybe this was a friend "for her" that she wanted to meet. Does not mean it was "an affair" or anything along that line…just a meeting that could have gone astray. The person was LOOKING for a vulnerable woman.

→In my view and in my eyes…Jennifer was extremely vulnerable. She was battling health issues that is hard to explain to anyone around her "in real life" (family, friends, etc.) without them thinking she is a hypochondriac. (which many do when someone is diagnosed with fibromyalgia and other related auto immune conditions.) How are very fit and active friends going to react? The same as most doctors. Excercize more, eat less. Trust me. The last words someone who lives with problems wants to hear that it is "their fault" because basically that is how one perceives that kind of "advise." I see in some photographs such an in-depth look of sadness (that is very deep) and I don't think even Jennifer understood it. I think it goes hand in hand with her vulnerabilty of a multitude of things. I don't think Jennifer truly felt "she belonged." Does this reflect the love she has for her family or they for her? Absolutely not. This is an "inner feeling" I believe she felt and struggled with. I've seen it before. Many times. I feel she did not "feel the approval" around her that she needed for Jennifer. (That's not to say she didn't get the approval…she didn't "feel" it.) So for years she found ways of getting that approval by doing what she knew best and could get that approval through her excellent parenting, cooking, art, and knitting. But no matter how good…it was not comforting to Jennifer that Jennifer WAS good. There are no awards or blue ribbons for being a great mother.

Note that in may cases those that suffer from some of the insecurities that she may have felt would STILL feel this even when their spouses assure them all of the time of their beauty, their goodness and conveys their love for them. This is something "deep" that can only be resolved by the person themselves. Many have said over and again that Jennifer is a wonderful and loving mother. We've heard GR say things suddenly changed. What changed? My personal opinion? I think things came crashing when she was losing some of the "control situations" that she created in order to love herself and somehow saw "normal life changes" as something she was "losing."

Example. Daughter is growing older. Child no longer wants to wear a knitted hat / matching scarf to school as it is not "in style" as to the kinds the other kids wear. I also saw a photo of Jenn's daughter in a race…taking on a joy that dad likes. Child is starting to bond with outside friends and their parents. Starting to become a young woman and finding herself and her own interests. Perhaps bonding closer to her mom's friends, or her grandparents. Things that someone who is insecure is not going to clearly understand.

Jennifer has a personality of more "dream-like" as opposed to "realistic." Interest in scifi, interest in fantasy games…things she can create and develop to her liking as opposed to "attempting to be like others around her" in life because I believe she feared that she would fail. Just like she felt she "failed" to convince doctors there IS something wrong. Failed that she couldn't run due to her feet surgery, but would dress to "fit in" and give the appearance she may be a runner…to fit in. Another sign of insecurity and vulnerability. She probably didn't play Farmville for she was "tired of having to meet others expectations" and if her farm was not as thriving as the next person it would be defeat in her own self. Playing sci fi and fantasy games is about challenges and creativity of which she was very good. Something that nobody around her does. It was something for Jennifer that Jennifer could do, feel comfortable and feel she "belonged."

→God forbid, but if someone caused Jennifer harm…I do not believe for a minute that it was anyone around her that knows and loves her. I believe if someone caused her harm…it was from a planned encounter that could have gone astray because Jennifer is/was vulnerable and may have given off the wrong message to the wrong person.

→Or. As has happened to many others, and unless we are in their shoes, we will never understand the feeling of "not being any use to anyone" or "everyone is better off without me" or "I didn't fit in with them anyhow and they will get over me quickly." This is the exact reason that I stress the importance for all to leave messages on Jennifer's wall that it is "OK" to come home. It is "ok" with their peers, children and family…because they all do love and her and will work with her to help her see she is wanted, needed and loved very much.

Lavanda,

Are you able to please tell us why none of the medical issues Jennifer has experienced, including surgery on her feet, or a medical condition requiring a need for certain types of medications have not been noted on her missing posters, her "Missing" page, in the media, and more importantly, on her profile on NamUs? There is absolutely nothing indicating scars from surgeries, possible metal implants within her feet, or her possibly being in need of certain medications for medical conditions on her NamUs profile and I would think that if it needs to be listed anywhere, it would be there, especially in the event she did disappear due to foul play and was found not for some time several states away?

Thank you

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

Also, just to let you know..GR was pretty distraught last night and we are waiting for word on the female body found in Rochester NY (2 and a half hours away) in some kind of pipe to a ravine. Keep prayers going. Will let you know when we hear something.