2010.06.28 - Kyron's Dad files for divorce and restraining order

[Kat]

When you come back to read 6angels I hope you see this post. Not directing it at you, just saw you needed to walk away for a bit.

I think that arguing whether or not toddler should be with either parent at this time is difficult at best.

To be quite honest, there are some of us here that were abused by a parent, step-parent or guardian. There are some of us who had wonderful familial experiences, being valued and treasured as children.

I find it difficult myself to say what I would do, or what I wouldn't do if I were TMH because even though I was someone's child, even though I am a parent, even though I have been involved in a divorce---

I have never had a child go missing much less missing and not found even six weeks out from disappearing into thin air. I most certainly have never been accused of asking anyone to help me murder my Husband. Heck I've never had an affair much less carried one on within weeks after a child being missing in my care.

What I'm trying to say is this---TMH may be innocent or she may be guilty but for some reason I can't fathom what she is doing or what she has done because she is a completely different animal than me. I think she probably is different from almost all of the posters here. So I can't apply how I would behave in this situation and compare it to how she is acting because I have never in my life been accused of doing the things she has done. Or has done. JMHO.

 

[ClueMeIn]

Ok I am leaving this thread but let me just say this.

I know 100% that bioparents are not always b est. I know this as I was not only NOT raised by my bios ( was a foster kid) but I just a year ago adopted four children. I am a giant advicate against child abuse so Yes I know very well that its not always best. I am not saying it is. For the 3rd of 4th time let me say yet again in this thread I am NOT saying what she should do I am saying what I would do if I was her. What she MAY be doing ( I am guessing like everyone elese is )


Again I am saying IF IF IF IF she is innocent WHICH I DONT KNOW IF SHE IS OR NOT. then I HOPE she fights for her baby IF shes was really a good mom to K ( which has been reported she was)

But really I am leaving this thread even though I am the one that has started it bc apparantly I can't say anything correctly expecially when I know very well that Bio means nothing at times.

I understand where you are coming from, I really do. I just wanted to make a point.

 

[mrsjonnob]

Or setting a "boobytrap" for Kaine of some sort.

I hope Kaine doesn't eat anything left behind in that house!

 

[Ellebelle]

If she is giving up custody, as I said before, I fear for Kyron. If she is not in a postion to fight for her baby, I am afraid it could be because she can't help them find Kyron, safe and sound.

Or she's just not willing.

 

[tehcloser]

I just can't believe she would be dumb enough to set a booby trap or poison the food with the world watching her. I cannot even fathom that.

 

[wondering1]

I'm sure we'll hear exactly what she gave up in the next briefing but, if she truly gave up all parental rights/custody then I wonder if it was due to KH asking for child support and this was an easy avoidance to that added expense.

You can't voluntarily terminate parental rights to avoid child support obligations.

 

[Dee10]

IMO all these case are very emotional, judging by this case in particular and the pole there are about 25% of the people here, who have voted they are on the fence (so to speak) or believe Terrie is not guilty or that there is no evidence to find her guilty...whatever! As each new turn of events occurs it is emotional for all sides of the fence, believe me (nobody wants to believe the worst)!

ETA - No matter what opinion you may hold it stresses you, when it is due to a missing person & especially a child.

 

[wondering1]

Yes I know. That is what I was saying that it was not TPR. I have experiance with this ( with our 4 we adopted) so I knew it was not TPR there is much more involved then settlements out of court.

I know you're taking a break from this thread, but in case you come back, I wanted you to know that I know this was my mistake. Something about the way I re-read the OP as it appeared in the response box was confusing with the bracket placements and parenthesis. I gather you are feeling misunderstood. So, sorry if I contributed to that

 

[RandomThoughts]

Would she be able to get out of paying child support just by saying she didn't want custody rights? It seems that a lot of parents might take this way out, if it meant they didn't have to pay.

I would think that it would be pretty much the same in every state and custody and support are two entirely different things.

Meaning, that even if one doesn't see their child(ren) doesn't mean one doesn't pay support and if they don't pay support doesn't mean they don't see the child(ren.

An example: my youngest child's father has never seen him, much less bothered to try to, yet has to pay child support. My older two's father didn't pay support for over two years, yet he still got to see them every other week.

 

[pinkpuddytat]

Wow, Guess she doesn't think much of her daughter. That poor child when she gets older. What a mess.

I'd be more worried about Baby K's future if it looked like she'd be growing up with Terri having even partial custody. It looks like she's got one sane and stable parent -- and that's one more than a lot kids have.

 

[miabellamoure]

Unless the laws in Oregon are completely different from the other states that I have lived in~ my answer would be no. The paying of child support doesn't have anything to do with physical custody, joint custody and especially not visitation rights.

If you chose not to pay your child support that doesn't automatically mean you can't have visitation with your child is one example I can think of...off the top of my head.

But I don't know Oregon laws.

Oops...I was not meaning that one can avoid CS by surrendering parental/custody rights. I was remembering that KH had asked for CS and wondered if they had come to an agreement...Baby K in exchange for no CS...that's all.

But, now that I think about it...if one does sever/surrender all parental rights isn't that the same as saying I am giving up this child to you as in an adoption surrender? Hmmm...that sounded a lot more confusing written out...hope you all know what I mean!

 

[RubyRed]

I'd be more worried about Baby K's future if it looked like she'd be growing up with Terri having even partial custody. It looks like she's got one sane and stable parent -- and that's one more than a lot kids have.

I know what you are saying. I just know if I was innocent of something I would be fighting, no matter what people thought.

 

[pinkpuddytat]

I would not be at all surprised if she has left at least one 'nasty litte surprise' for Kaine inside that house. He should definitely replace all the food (including the dry goods in the pantry) and all the toiletries before he moves back in.

I'm relieved to know that she's actually left without burning the house down. I'd be surprised if she didn't seriously consider it.

 

[CarmelEyesD]

She could be worried, sick and depressed. She has been accused and tried in the media. If she is innocent, she may be at an all time low. Maybe she doesn't feel she can care properly for her daughter, and knows Kaine can provide a better home. She could be planning on just plain 'disappearing'.

 

[pinkpuddytat]

obviously baby K is better off for now with KH as he's stable and emplyed and has a house.

however my heart breaks for her because she is only little, she must miss her mommy so bad

Maybe. On the other hand, maybe there isn't a whole lot to miss. Terri strikes me as so thoroughly self-absorbed, that I just can't picture her having spent significant parts of her day doting on Baby K. There was Facebook, there was the gym, we're now hearing that she was having more "communication" with the landscaper than just about landscaping and murder, and there was probably a lot more that we haven't heard about (perhaps including long hours spent planning the perfect crime). My instincts tell me that Baby K's role in her life was primarily to serve as a long-term ticket to Kaine's continued subsidy of her life of recreation. Baby K may already have been getting most of her cooing and cuddling from Kaine (and probably at least a bit from Kyron too), with the childcare staff at the gym coming in second.

 

[Black Frost]

I just can't believe she would be dumb enough to set a booby trap or poison the food with the world watching her. I cannot even fathom that.

Yeah, I with you. I'm not the least bit worried about her leaving anything dangerous in the house for KH or K. I do think she's dumb. But I don't think even she's that dumb. I also think her lawyer is in control for the time being. Not a concern of mine at all.

 

[Dee10]

Maybe. On the other hand, maybe there isn't a whole lot to miss. Terri strikes me as so thoroughly self-absorbed, that I just can't picture her having spent significant parts of her day doting on Baby K. There was Facebook, there was the gym, we're now hearing that she was having more "communication" with the landscaper than just about landscaping and murder, and there was probably a lot more that we haven't heard about (perhaps including long hours spent planning the perfect crime). My instincts tell me that Baby K's role in her life was primarily to serve as a long-term ticket to Kaine's continued subsidy of her life of recreation. Baby K may already have been getting most of her cooing and cuddling from Kaine (and probably at least a bit from Kyron too), with the childcare staff at the gym coming in second.

OMG...YIKES, but good point, given what the TV psyc.'s say.

 

[citigirl]

I don't know if this is helpful, but when I was divorced ten years ago, the judge considered two kinds of custody--physical custody and legal custody. I was given physical custody of our children and we shared legal custody. I think what you are calling parental rights was called legal custody in my state.

I am sure Houze was referring to physical custody--but probably not legal custody. Visitation can be scheduled later and could add up to 50/50 between parents.

 

[Ellebelle]

I just can't believe she would be dumb enough to set a booby trap or poison the food with the world watching her. I cannot even fathom that.

I won't forget about MC while the world was watching. I don't trust her at all. Either she really likes the attention, she really thinks she is above it all, or she's just plain dumb. Maybe all three.

 

[RandomThoughts]

I don't know if this is helpful, but when I was divorced ten years ago, the judge considered two kinds of custody--physical custody and legal custody. I was given physical custody of our children and we shared legal custody. I think what you are calling parental rights was called legal custody in my state.

I am sure Houze was referring to physical custody--but probably not legal custody. Visitation can be scheduled later and could add up to 50/50 between parents.

I'm trying to remember all the different kinds of custody I got, and what each modification changed. The first time was joint legal with me having primary physical placement. The ex got every other weekend from Friday night to Monday morning until school age when it would go to Sunday night, half of all school vacations and four weeks of the summer, and get till Monday morning during summer break.

Then, it was changed to modified joint where nothing changed other than me getting to make all medical, educational and religious decisions, with me having to tell the ex in a timely manner. Then it changed to me having full legal and physical custody with the ex having supervised visitation, and access to all school and medical records. He was also the option of getting things back to the first agreement, yet hasn't done one thing in over seven years to do so.

I do know that the ex at first tried to get extra time with the kids so he wouldn't have to pay support, but was told that no matter how much time he got, he would still have to pay the same amount, so he dropped that real quick. The way it was explained to us is that even when the kids weren't with me that I still had the same upkeep of the home expenses, and the kids would still need the same home to come back to so visitation time had no effect on support amount.