2010.07.16 - Kaine Horman: "Terri was a good person when we first met"

[gitana1]

2008, when he said he noticed the change in Terri, would be when baby K was born, right?

That would tie right in to what Kaine has said before about PPD.

IF Th really was a great mom to her three kids, a good wife a good friend to Desiree, etc., and then something changed when her baby girl was born, I'd say PPD could definitely play a role.

 

[DairyGirl]

My ex-husband was a real *advertiser censored*. I wore my wedding ring until the day of court and the judge signed the decree that we were divorced. I walked out of the courtroom and took off my ring. Funny, I hadn't thought of this for years. Now that I think of that day again, I realize I can't remember what I did with the ring. Probably threw it away. Don't remember. Now that bugs me!
I was just glad I wasn't pregnant. That was one of the questions and I could have been. I said "no" anyway. I wasn't, thanks God.

I took off my wedding ring a year before I left my husband. I knew the marriage was over in my mind and I didn't feel commited anymore. It took a year to get up the nerve to leave him physically but mentally I was already gone.

 

[nervous_nellie]

thinking hypothetically here for a moment.... i have read that th was into bodybuilding... when was this? i havent seen very many pics of her (if anyone knows where i can find some that would be great!) but, could/would she have dabbled in steroids and/or other common bodybuilding drugs(amphetamines etc.) legal or illegal? and if so - what impact could that have on a person who may be dealing with ppd?

 

[newone]

thinking hypothetically here for a moment.... i have read that th was into bodybuilding... when was this? i havent seen very many pics of her (if anyone knows where i can find some that would be great!) but, could/would she have dabbled in steroids and/or other common bodybuilding drugs(amphetamines etc.) legal or illegal? and if so - what impact could that have on a person who may be dealing with ppd?

I have heard of 'roid rage (thinking of wrestler who killed himself and his family in Florida)

 

[greenpalm]

LMAO I think Kaine has his wedding ring on still because he probably didnt or isnt thinking about a ring on his finger? I mean who would do that with a [unusual] wife that tried to have me killed and hit might still be on him. My son is missing and he has a baby to take care of and work so he doesnt lose his home too? I mean what kind of person does that? hehehe I know it sounds sarcastic but I didnt even think about Kaines wedding ring in all the other stuff and it won't help to find Kyron I am sure ring or no ring......

ITA and furthermore, from what we know of fact-driven, analytical, capable of effective compartmentalization Kaine, my thoughts are that he didn't place enormous significance on the ring. It just never occurred to him to take it off. I doubt it was a conscious decision to leave it on, but rather, just the absence of ever thinking about it at all. The ring is just small potatoes.

Oh, one more thought that just occurred to me. If we go with this concept that all the accusations and negative coverage is calculated by LE, (and I believe that to be true). Perhaps they have intentionally called attention to the ring so that it's particulary noticeable when he does take it off.

As an aside, do we have MSM link that TH sexted the landscaper? This thread is the first place I'd heard that, and I'm fairly thorough about reading the MSM coverage. Thx. Perhaps I missed it. I just want to be sure it's not a rumor.

This is all just speculation, and food for thought, MOO etc.

 

[evelyn24]

Emma, he's a man. Gotta hit them on the head to get them to look at something they're not looking at. Gotta stand in front of their faces before they can stop looking at the Tv.

We're just different as males and females, that's all. What's nice is that the differences are complimentary. Their strengths are our weaknesses and vice-versa. Quite interesting really. They don't understand us much, and I don't get them, either. I lose my patience with how their minds work differently. Sometimes I just hate it. I want to be comforted sometimes and all I get is "Forget about it." ARRRRGHHHHH!!!!!! Please just listen without trying to fix it. I just want to talk about whatever it is sometimes.

I think KH wasn't attentive enough in their established relationship and she needed more excitement in her life and felt he wasn't giving her what she wanted. She felt neglected. He was just kicking back and relaxing. Her anger grew and grew into murderous proportions.

jmho....

I agree. I know it's a generalization but I think it's basically true what you're stating.
Also, even the worst person isn't ALWAYS bad, everyone has good qualities.
I'm sure TH had some traits that made her likable and came across as a good person on a very surface level. I think she's probably one of these people that you really have to be around A LOT, in different situations, over a period of time, to really pick up on the flawed person underneath. I bet she hides it well.

 

[nervous_nellie]

I have heard of 'roid rage (thinking of wrestler who killed himself and his family in Florida)

yeah - im not really thinking of roid rage, i was married to a bodybuilder for quite some time and its common for some bodybuilders to take enhancements...not necessarily steroids...but ephedra or amphetamines to "amp" up their work outs and all kinds of other things for weight loss and endurance etc. just curious if any of these kind of things could possibly make ppd worse? if she in fact has/had ppd... just pondering i guess....

 

[Trident]

I agree. I know it's a generalization but I think it's basically true what you're stating.
Also, even the worst person isn't ALWAYS bad, everyone has good qualities.
I'm sure TH had some traits that made her likable and came across as a good person on a very surface level. I think she's probably one of these people that you really have to be around A LOT, in different situations, over a period of time, to really pick up on the flawed person underneath. I bet she hides it well.

But everybody has flaws, don't they?

 

[believe09]

I have heard of 'roid rage (thinking of wrestler who killed himself and his family in Florida)

The operative word here being "he" lol..

I think any discussion of controlled substances and TH are pure speculation. Not all bodybuilders use anything other than what would be considered to be a food additive to enhance their performance.

It would certainly surprise me to find out that a woman who was caring for multiple children in a blended family, who was volunteering and present in the school and who had other parents trusting her with their children might have shown any sign of roid rage or speed during this time frame. :snooty: JMO

 

[Emma Peel]

2008, when he said he noticed the change in Terri, would be when baby K was born, right?

That would tie right in to what Kaine has said before about PPD.

I'm going to try this once more, with better organization in my post.

Kaine said this - note BBM -

In response, he wrote: "Terri was a good person when we first met and for several years (I’d say up until 2008). She was always about children (teaching) and helping them grow and develop. Her attitude was always about those types of things first, her own self not even being a priority close to that. I believe that this is the Terri that everyone else saw and got to know as I did."

"Honestly everyone, including myself, that knew her or knows her did not see this coming. She was not the type of person we are seeing right now," added Kaine Horman.

"There were some signs of emotional distress here and there over the past year and a half but not enough of that directed at any one person to conclude she would be capable of anything even remotely close to events of the severity we have all seen."

http://www.kgw.com/news/Kaine-Horman-Terri-was-a-good-person-when-we-first-met-98620944.html

Marriage Date - Terri & Kaine: 4/15/07.
Birthdate of the baby: 11/12/08. (per RO below)
http://www.kptv.com/download/2010/0708/24187664.pdf

PPD comes on AFTER birth. (Many references on this.) Depression following birth anywhere from 6 months to a year after birth could be PPD.

So, Kaine says Terri was a "good person" when they met and up until 2008. So for 8 months after the marriage Terri continues to be a "good person".

Then... if Kaine means what he said about being a "good person" up until 2008...

Beginning 2008, Terri is no longer the same "good person" AND Terri gets pregnant. (approximate date - based on 40 wks ) Terri gets pregnant 2/6/08. Birth 11/12/08. After birth, for 1.5 years Terri "shows signs here and there of emotional distress".

IMO - if Kaine means what he says - Kaine is suggesting that Terri's bad behavior coincides with a timeframe just 8 months after their wedding and just prior to to the beginning of the pregnancy - and not the end of the pregnancy.

This is just a little notation clarifying Kaine's "character/personality" notes regarding Terri against the timeline of the pregnancy.

It's interesting to me because it leaves the option open that this is not PPD or perhaps not just PPD alone. It also allows the question as to a pre-existing issue prior to the pregnancy that was, perhaps, exacerbated by PPD and/or the pregnancy. (I have read briefly that women with BPD & other personality disorders experinece greater incidences of PPD...)

I have been having a hard time with the idea that this is all PPD. Given Kaine's written explanation of the timing of Terri's changes, (as in - before or coincidental with the beginning of the pregnancy and NOT the end of the pregnancy), I think he opens the door to other issues with Terri.

It also helps explain how the pregnancy itself may have camouflaged - or muddied somewhat the recognition of severe character changes in Terri (Kaine & co. thinking "oh, she's irritable, different, anxious, etc... but it's because she's pregnant...") that otherwise might not have been overlooked had Terri not been pregnant.

JMHO, and Kaine's reply e-mail to the press "up until 2008" may not be what Kaine means to say. We shall see...

 

[wondering1]

Don't know if y'all saw this. I hadn't. KH says they had talked about separation and divorce. He doesn't say when, although the context implies it was after baby girl was born.

Q: While you have said your marriage suffered after K's birth and Terri's post-partum depression, was there any talk of separating or divorce before Kyron disappeared?

A: Yes there was but we worked through them in a positive manner (at least that was my impression.)

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/07/kaine_horman_describes_how_ter.html

 

[RubyRed]

Don't know if y'all saw this. I hadn't. KH says they had talked about separation and divorce. He doesn't say when, although the context implies it was after baby girl was born.

Q: While you have said your marriage suffered after K's birth and Terri's post-partum depression, was there any talk of separating or divorce before Kyron disappeared?

A: Yes there was but we worked through them in a positive manner (at least that was my impression.)

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/07/kaine_horman_describes_how_ter.html

I think that is what he thought, but she didn't. JMO

 

[Emma Peel]

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/i...s_how_ter.html

Thanks for this article. It's full of stuff...the divorce talk one very interesting item.

8 months of "official" marriage then 9 months pregnant, and 19 more months passing after the baby's birth, and somewhere in this time talk of separation, divorce that Kaine was satisfied had been "worked through", and Terri's older son moved away to his grandparents and then to his father's.

Call me faint-hearted, but that is just much too much, yes waaay too much stress goin' on, goin' on...

:shakehead:

IMO this family was in meltdown state.

 

[human]

I never read the book Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, but I get the gist of it.

My hubby and I have lots of conversations related to how men and women see things.

I have been involved in some public issues that weren't going the way I liked dealing with men in power.

I had hubby come in and analyze a meeting that I was at, and he gave me excellent advice.

Of course it's a generalization, but men do and see things differently.

Men often think a woman with certain assets is a good deal until they find out the hard way that it may not be as they thought, for instance.

And women think that the hot football star of high school is a good deal until they find out later that was not such a good idea.

Lots of not so good thinking.

 

[Jack]

I'm going to try this once more, with better organization in my post.

Kaine said this - note BBM -


http://www.kgw.com/news/Kaine-Horman-Terri-was-a-good-person-when-we-first-met-98620944.html

Marriage Date - Terri & Kaine: 4/15/07.
Birthdate of the baby: 11/12/08. (per RO below)
http://www.kptv.com/download/2010/0708/24187664.pdf

PPD comes on AFTER birth. (Many references on this.) Depression following birth anywhere from 6 months to a year after birth could be PPD.

So, Kaine says Terri was a "good person" when they met and up until 2008. So for 8 months after the marriage Terri continues to be a "good person".

Then... if Kaine means what he said about being a "good person" up until 2008...

Beginning 2008, Terri is no longer the same "good person" AND Terri gets pregnant. (approximate date - based on 40 wks ) Terri gets pregnant 2/6/08. Birth 11/12/08. After birth, for 1.5 years Terri "shows signs here and there of emotional distress".

IMO - if Kaine means what he says - Kaine is suggesting that Terri's bad behavior coincides with a timeframe just 8 months after their wedding and just prior to to the beginning of the pregnancy - and not the end of the pregnancy.

This is just a little notation clarifying Kaine's "character/personality" notes regarding Terri against the timeline of the pregnancy.

It's interesting to me because it leaves the option open that this is not PPD or perhaps not just PPD alone. It also allows the question as to a pre-existing issue prior to the pregnancy that was, perhaps, exacerbated by PPD and/or the pregnancy. (I have read briefly that women with BPD & other personality disorders experinece greater incidences of PPD...)

I have been having a hard time with the idea that this is all PPD. Given Kaine's written explanation of the timing of Terri's changes, (as in - before or coincidental with the beginning of the pregnancy and NOT the end of the pregnancy), I think he opens the door to other issues with Terri.

It also helps explain how the pregnancy itself may have camouflaged - or muddied somewhat the recognition of severe character changes in Terri (Kaine & co. thinking "oh, she's irritable, different, anxious, etc... but it's because she's pregnant...") that otherwise might not have been overlooked had Terri not been pregnant.

JMHO, and Kaine's reply e-mail to the press "up until 2008" may not be what Kaine means to say. We shall see...

Perhaps it has more to do with Kaines feelings about women and pregnancy. Notice that he had a previous marraige that fell apart while that wife was pregnant, and now he is saying that up until TH got pregnant she was a good person. IOW, maybe he has a thing about pregnancy and his "observations" speak more to his problems than hers.

 

[Hippy Chick]

Chewy, with all due respect, if your 7-year old son was missing and your SO and last person to see him wasn't cooperating with the police, would you support her? What if you had learned from LE that said person had hired someone to murder you?

I mean, really? I think Kaine has been nothing but short of respectful towards TH considering everything.

I agree with you if that was my 7 year old I would have snatched her up the first day or so. Hes been alot nicer than I could have ever been.:furious:

 

[xin]

I'm going to try this once more, with better organization in my post.

Kaine said this - note BBM -


http://www.kgw.com/news/Kaine-Horman-Terri-was-a-good-person-when-we-first-met-98620944.html

Marriage Date - Terri & Kaine: 4/15/07.
Birthdate of the baby: 11/12/08. (per RO below)
http://www.kptv.com/download/2010/0708/24187664.pdf

PPD comes on AFTER birth. (Many references on this.) Depression following birth anywhere from 6 months to a year after birth could be PPD.

So, Kaine says Terri was a "good person" when they met and up until 2008. So for 8 months after the marriage Terri continues to be a "good person".

Then... if Kaine means what he said about being a "good person" up until 2008...

Beginning 2008, Terri is no longer the same "good person" AND Terri gets pregnant. (approximate date - based on 40 wks ) Terri gets pregnant 2/6/08. Birth 11/12/08. After birth, for 1.5 years Terri "shows signs here and there of emotional distress".

IMO - if Kaine means what he says - Kaine is suggesting that Terri's bad behavior coincides with a timeframe just 8 months after their wedding and just prior to to the beginning of the pregnancy - and not the end of the pregnancy.

This is just a little notation clarifying Kaine's "character/personality" notes regarding Terri against the timeline of the pregnancy.

It's interesting to me because it leaves the option open that this is not PPD or perhaps not just PPD alone. It also allows the question as to a pre-existing issue prior to the pregnancy that was, perhaps, exacerbated by PPD and/or the pregnancy. (I have read briefly that women with BPD & other personality disorders experinece greater incidences of PPD...)

I have been having a hard time with the idea that this is all PPD. Given Kaine's written explanation of the timing of Terri's changes, (as in - before or coincidental with the beginning of the pregnancy and NOT the end of the pregnancy), I think he opens the door to other issues with Terri.

It also helps explain how the pregnancy itself may have camouflaged - or muddied somewhat the recognition of severe character changes in Terri (Kaine & co. thinking "oh, she's irritable, different, anxious, etc... but it's because she's pregnant...") that otherwise might not have been overlooked had Terri not been pregnant.

JMHO, and Kaine's reply e-mail to the press "up until 2008" may not be what Kaine means to say. We shall see...

So, more on this, posters: character CHANGES? Does this suggest a dormant or a changed character after her marriage, and her duties as a step-mom, mother to an "independent" teen (who IS involved in school sports, music and Scout activities, he sounds fine), husband's live-in 7-year old, and a new baby. Bit of maybe a mania period with the body-building.
Oh, my. Alcohol and drug combos, too, imo.

 

[mchris1024]

The only thing that makes me even consider TH's innocence is how fast and willing KH has been to throw her under the bus.

Frankly it kinda feels like a set up on his part. I can understand a person being gobsmacked by someone turning out to be a total liar, especially in regard to his child being missing. But at the end of the day I wonder about him as well. What kind of husband would be so willing to go to the press with his damage stories and throwing his supposed wife to the wolves like this.

It really comes across that he has an axe to grind and some sort of bitterness. He's much to cavalier in my opinion. You'd think he'd be gutted. Not giving PCs.

I think there is so much more to this story, him wearing his wedding band had perplexed me for quite for some time. I keep wondering if this all some charade...I just don't know why any of them would be doing that unless they know how has Kyron and it's a game they are playing with this person.

 

[Adrienne37]

I honestly don't see his wearing his wedding ring as a sign of anything. It may be completely like he said, he just hadn't thought about removing it. I accept that as a very reasonable explanation. Maybe he is mourning his marriage with TH also. Maybe he is thinking back to the beginning of their courtship and marriage, all the good times that they once shared and wishing very hard that she was the person that he fell in love with and married. Kaine has had so much to absorb in the last 6 weeks and I think the way he has conducted himself during obviously the most horrible time in his life is very admirable. I don't see him on a witchhunt. I see him as a man who has lost his son whom he adored and wants to know how and why the person that he loved, to whom he had another child, could do such a thing and then lie about it continually. I see him as a man who is shellshocked and in disbelief. We've learned precious little about this case but I'm relatively sure that he knows most of what LE is thinking and it has to be horrible.

JMO

 

[ThoughtFox]

I honestly don't see his wearing his wedding ring as a sign of anything. It may be completely like he said, he just hadn't thought about removing it. I accept that as a very reasonable explanation. Maybe he is mourning his marriage with TH also. Maybe he is thinking back to the beginning of their courtship and marriage, all the good times that they once shared and wishing very hard that she was the person that he fell in love with and married. Kaine has had so much to absorb in the last 6 weeks and I think the way he has conducted himself during obviously the most horrible time in his life is very admirable. I don't see him on a witchhunt. I see him as a man who has lost his son whom he adored and wants to know how and why the person that he loved, to whom he had another child, could do such a thing and then lie about it continually. I see him as a man who is shellshocked and in disbelief. We've learned precious little about this case but I'm relatively sure that he knows most of what LE is thinking and it has to be horrible.

JMO

You wrote exactly what I was going to write! My husband and I have quarreled to the point that I angrily took off my ring a few times, but my husband would never do that unless we were divorced. Some people have trouble with change on a good day, so major changes throw them for a loop. And this guy is going through hell right now, in my opinion.

Post-partum depression or not, TH has pretty much destroyed the life of this family by her actions. KH sounds as if he tried to understand what she was going through. I don't really understand why people want to blame him for her problems?

I just see some major denial on his part, but we have to think about how he is feeling: depressed, in shock, disappointed, bewildered. I can't imagine losing a child, but even worse to think that a spouse you trusted for years might be involved in some type of mayhem.

And then to hear about this "sexting" stuff on top of that is a major betrayal. I definitely see that as a type of affair that goes way beyond flirting, and we have to wonder if it did become a physical relationship with one or more of these men.