2010.07.26 - Kyron Horman case featured on Dateline

[Calliope]

The full episode hasn't been posted online yet (that I can find on their site) but after watching Desiree in his bedroom, I don't know if I can handle watching it

 

[Susan10]

I think that is because the Moms, generally, are the detail people. The ones who keep the calendar, and know all the nitty gritty details that keep the families running. My husband couldn't tell you 90% of the details I keep track of--appointments, school project deadlines, food likes and dislikes, clothing sizes, sports and other activity schedules. Some dads might be able to do that, but I think it is usually the mom's who have been delegated to be the detail parent.

Well said and ain't that the truth and nothing but the truth!
Deserved more than a thanks.

 

[xin]

I didn't get home from running kids around tonight until Dateline was over! Yet, I have no excuse for not recording in on my dvr. :blushing:

Does anyone know where I can watch it online?

Couple of excerpts up now at msnbc.dateline (google is your friend).

 

[momoftwo2002]

The full episode hasn't been posted online yet (that I can find on their site) but after watching Desiree in his bedroom, I don't know if I can handle watching it

You have a good point. After reading 17 pages of this thread to get caught up tonight, I don't see how we could possibly miss anything earth-shattering by not watching it either. :headache: I thought I would never get to the end! :woohoo:

I really appreciate what everyone had to say tonight because I feel like I learned all of the new information and got several different perspectives on how the case can be interpreted. :sleuth:

 

[Leila]

I purposely didn't read or post to this thread until after I watched Dateline here on the west coast, and haven't read the entire 17 pages of posts, only the last few pages.

First of all, I think Dateline did an exceptional job of presenting all the facts in this case, considering all the twists and turns that have happened since June 4th.

It was heartbreaking to see the Kyron's room, his bed and toys as he left them, and the emotional toll this has taken on the three parents, Kaine, Desiree, and Tony.

In regards to the MFH.............Kaine didn't know anything about it until the police informed him of the plot to have him murdered just a few weeks ago. He was shocked and said that there was nothing that would have made him suspicious of Terri. So this was new information that he only learned about when LE learned of it and told him.

I did note that Desiree and Kaine gave differing accounts of when Terri came into Kaine's life.........Desiree stating that she was 8-months pregnant with Kyron when she learned Kaine was having an affair with Terri. Kaine states that he didn't begin the affair with Terri until he knew his marriage was over, and that he and Desiree remained living together in the same house even after their marriage was over.

I think it's only natural for a divorced couple to have different perspectives on what went wrong in their marriage, and they tend to blame their spouse. I don't see either one as lying, only different perceptions.

I can fully understand Desiree giving primary custody of Kyron to Kaine when she became ill. Kidney disease is a very serious disease, and even when she wasn't hospitalized, Desiree would still feel ill. Kidneys that aren't functioning properly can't filter out toxins, and the person feels sick a lot of the time.

I see Desiree as a strong woman with deep convictions. I think she's had doubts and regrets but kept them to herself for Kyron's sake, making an effort to get along with her ex-husband and his new wife. Now, with all that's happened, she's expressing those doubts. I can see a person having doubts and then questioning those doubts, wondering if there was reason to have those doubts or is she having doubts because she doesn't really like her ex-husband's new wife.

I was very impressed with Tony. I think he's been emotionally impacted by all that's happened. At the same time, his professional instincts as a detective kicked in immediately, and he was observing reactions and questioning them.

I just hope that Kyron can be brought home to his loving parents soon.

 

[sofia76]

Unfortunately, I've known of many couples who were broken up but continued living together for months afterward - usually because of financial reasons. It is a lousy situation because it doesn't allow for a clean break, it creates ambiguity if there is still sexual attraction, and it leads to off/on again scenarios. Just ugly stuff.

Regardless of what happened, these two put that behind them. A missing or possibly dead child is still horrific, whether a person cheated on their spouse or granted custody to the other parent because of financial instability, etc. Unless DY or KH kidnapped or killed Kyron, they are victims in my eyes.

 

[momoftwo2002]

I purposely didn't read or post to this thread until after I watched Dateline here on the west coast, and haven't read the entire 17 pages of posts, only the last few pages.

First of all, I think Dateline did an exceptional job of presenting all the facts in this case, considering all the twists and turns that have happened since June 4th.

It was heartbreaking to see the Kyron's room, his bed and toys as he left them, and the emotional toll this has taken on the three parents, Kaine, Desiree, and Tony.

In regards to the MFH.............Kaine didn't know anything about it until the police informed him of the plot to have him murdered just a few weeks ago. He was shocked and said that there was nothing that would have made him suspicious of Terri. So this was new information that he only learned about when LE learned of it and told him.

I did note that Desiree and Kaine gave differing accounts of when Terri came into Kaine's life.........Desiree stating that she was 8-months pregnant with Kyron when she learned Kaine was having an affair with Terri. Kaine states that he didn't begin the affair with Terri until he knew his marriage was over, and that he and Desiree remained living together in the same house even after their marriage was over.

I think it's only natural for a divorced couple to have different perspectives on what went wrong in their marriage, and they tend to blame their spouse. I don't see either one as lying, only different perceptions.

I can fully understand Desiree giving primary custody of Kyron to Kaine when she became ill. Kidney disease is a very serious disease, and even when she wasn't hospitalized, Desiree would still feel ill. Kidneys that aren't functioning properly can't filter out toxins, and the person feels sick a lot of the time.

I see Desiree as a strong woman with deep convictions. I think she's had doubts and regrets but kept them to herself for Kyron's sake, making an effort to get along with her ex-husband and his new wife. Now, with all that's happened, she's expressing those doubts. I can see a person having doubts and then questioning those doubts, wondering if there was reason to have those doubts or is she having doubts because she doesn't really like her ex-husband's new wife.

I was very impressed with Tony. I think he's been emotionally impacted by all that's happened. At the same time, his professional instincts as a detective kicked in immediately, and he was observing reactions and questioning them.

I just hope that Kyron can be brought home to his loving parents soon.

:rocker: You totally rock Leila!

I did the opposite. I missed the show but read the entire thread.

I could have read this post and saved myself 17 pages of catching up tonight.
Based on everything I read tonight you just gave and excellent summary.

Very impressive! :applause:

 

[ThoughtFox]

Hello all. I've been offline watching the show and WOW. Seeing Kyron's bedroom and toys and life...I can't describe how ANGRY I feel. And sad. I don't know how Desiree finds the strength to do these interviews without sobbing constantly! It must be for Kyron.

Okay, commercial over. Back to the show.

My husband and I were watching it and we just kept saying over and over how cute Kyron looked in those pictures! It just made our hearts melt.

 

[nurseratchett]

bbm

Where? Any source besides the "blended family" piece in the Oregonian?

Jaymie Finster here:

http://www.katu.com/news/96769584.html

"She understands that they need to do a thorough investigation and that she was the last one possibly to see Kyron and they've got to be thorough," Finster said, "but the Internet blogging and all the speculation is really hard."

She said Terri has been Kyron's primary caregiver since he was just three days old – and describes her friend as a "devoted stepmother."

And, Carol Moulton, here:

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/i...the_day_k.html

Carol Moulton said that Kaine, 36, and Terri, 40, have been together for seven or eight years and that they have been married for four or five years. The couple have an 18-month-old girl.

"Terri has raised Kyron," her mother said. "She's been with him since he was an infant. She's as much of a mom as the mom is because the parents had separated about the time that Kyron was born."


ETA- Sorry, I think I was thinking about something else when I posted this...must be bed time.
And... the link re: carol moulton is broken

 

[Calliope]

Jaymie Finster here:

http://www.katu.com/news/96769584.html

"She understands that they need to do a thorough investigation and that she was the last one possibly to see Kyron and they've got to be thorough," Finster said, "but the Internet blogging and all the speculation is really hard."

She said Terri has been Kyron's primary caregiver since he was just three days old – and describes her friend as a "devoted stepmother."

And, Carol Moulton, here:

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/i...the_day_k.html

Carol Moulton said that Kaine, 36, and Terri, 40, have been together for seven or eight years and that they have been married for four or five years. The couple have an 18-month-old girl.

"Terri has raised Kyron," her mother said. "She's been with him since he was an infant. She's as much of a mom as the mom is because the parents had separated about the time that Kyron was born."

Neither one says Terri was Desiree's friend. That was what I was asking about, because a post on another thread said Desiree (and Kaine?) told WW that it was Terri and her friends claiming that Desiree and Terri were friends before Kyron was born. The only thing I've found yet regarding that claim comes from Kaine's side of the family.

And regarding what was quoted here, if Kaine was cheating with Terri while Desiree was pregnant (and according to him, was separated while still living together), it's very likely Terri WAS in Kyron's life from the beginning.

 

[carole]

Did DY ever say what her illness was, or was it mentioned in MSM?

If not, I wonder why she hasn't.

It's been reported in MSM that she had kidney failure.

 

[Calliope]

IMO Desire is such a loving, unselfish mother, she put Kyron where she thought he had a stable environment, his father's love and the energy a little boy needed. She probably could have eeked by caring for Kyron when she was sick but made a selfless decision that eeking through the early years wasn't good enough for her little boy. At the expense of missing him terrribly, she did what she thought was ultimately best for Kyron. IMO, MOO. MOO, MOO, etc.

I think you're right, and for that reason I don't believe in the beginning Desiree thought that Terri was involved in Kyron's disappearance, because I don't see her leaving her child with a person she felt was dangerous or even had the potential of being so.

She spoke of her 'motherly instincts' with that initial call, but I think that was more a result of her (obvious) dislike for Terri than actually believing she'd harmed him in any way. Other than that interview, all others indicate she never suspected Terri could have done this --- until they all learned of the murder-for-hire plot.

 

[debs]

Personally, I believe Desiree's version. I don't believe her and Terri were friends in any sense of the word and I also believe that through the years they simply tolerated each other, if that.

Tolerate doesn't seem to fit, since Desiree was asked directly regarding the hug Terri offered her during the first presser and Desiree's objection was that she thought it was just too strange to have her ex-husband's new wife holding her. Her reticence wasn't identified as her feeling Terri had something to do with Kyron's disappearance; it was because she was the new wife.

 

[Calliope]

Tolerate doesn't seem to fit, since Desiree was asked directly regarding the hug Terri offered her during the first presser and Desiree's objection was that she thought it was just too strange to have her ex-husband's new wife holding her. Her reticence wasn't identified as her feeling Terri had something to do with Kyron's disappearance; it was because she was the new wife.

I meant 'tolerate' in the sense that they had to work together and communicate because of Kyron. That if not for Kyron, they wouldn't have had anything to do with each other.

 

[For The Kids]

Speculation spitball alert:

I am now left wondering, with the confirmation of what I had suspected (and posted a few days ago) about the affair with Terri while Desiree was pregnant, if the rumors of Kaine having an affair currently (or recently) are not true?

They always say if you marry a man who's cheated on his former spouse with you, it's quite likely to happen again...

I'm just left thinking that maybe there's another skeleton in the closet, but we're not hearing of that because Kaine doesn't want it to be known.

Best-
Herding Cats

Well on THAT basis maybe Terri was having an affair and thats why she wanted Kaine out of the way. Her ex husband said she had affairs during their marriage.

 

[Calliope]

Well on THAT basis maybe Terri was having an affair and thats why she wanted Kaine out of the way. Her ex husband said she had affairs during their marriage.

Her ex-s also said she was an attentive mom and would never hurt a child.

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/kyron_hormans_blended_family_f.html

 

[debs]

But that's not what she said. Specifically she said she stiffened up because the new wife of her ex-husband was hugging her and she didn't understand why she would do that. In fact, she seems to refer to Terri and Kaine's time together as specifically ONLY with regard to the length of their marriage.

 

[Melanie]

:rocker: You totally rock Leila!

I did the opposite. I missed the show but read the entire thread.

I could have read this post and saved myself 17 pages of catching up tonight.
Based on everything I read tonight you just gave and excellent summary.

Very impressive! :applause:

I agree - Leila did a really good job of summarizing the show. I did watch it (West Coast) and while they pretty much put TH out there to hang and dry, the show was very emotional as well. Seeing the homes and parents up close and personal makes it all that more personal to me.

Where are you Kyron!

MOO

Mel

 

[For The Kids]

Dateline did a great job, overall. They clarified a few issues that many of us had and they worked with what they had. I was rather surprized that it was such DY and TY show, but then who else could have given that much info?
DY thought it odd that TH questioned her coming. I might have done the same thing TH did, knowing that it was a 4.5 hour drive and asked why she was coming now. I would have told her to wait because I wouldn't think that Kyron really could be lost -lost. (You know it never happens to you...).
I'd give it more time and keep her on a cell phone with one of us.

Carp....I'll start getting myself confused again. All I can think of right now is that I would have a conversation with my ex, his current, and then make some suggestions, like checking with friends, etc. Now, if the sec said "he hasnt been here all day", then I'd have a conversation with the teacher, then TH, as I was filling the car up with gas to head out, cuz I would just know in my heart that someone was LYING TO ME BIG TIME.

I dont see for one moment why Terri would be surprised that Desiree said she was coming there immediately. Kyron had already been missing for SEVEN hours and in addition it was meant to been Desirees weekend to have Kyron so she would have had plans to go down there already. It wasnt a case she was going there solely on the strength of the phone call..she was due there so i dont get why Terri would be surprised she would show that day.

JMO

 

[debs]

So back to that bed for a moment: I could see if Kyron had just left and was coming back to the bed in the evening and leaving the bed unmade. But he'd been gone for two weeks. And now his bed remains unmade another near 9 weeks, toys on the floor (out of the way, I did notice) and one singular picture on the wall in a hallway with no other pictures to show Kyron lived there.

It all seemed so staged.