2010.08.18 - Dede's ex-Boyfriend describes her

[citigirl]

I think he revealed the part about her not having a boyfriend and saying she would never have another boyfriend for a purpose...again, really not his business to tell. Just bizarre...

 

[Jack]

I wonder if DDS will get mad and have some harsh words for him now.

 

[Calliope]

He sure has his panties in a wad over her serving on the HOA board.....what's up with that? Is it like a fulltime job without pay? :waitasec:

What business it is of his if she doesn't get paid?

 

[matou]

I think he revealed the part about her not having a boyfriend and saying she would never have another boyfriend for a purpose...again, really not his business to tell. Just bizarre...

I would have asked him a very specific question based on this, but won't post it here. You all have 3 guesses and 2 don't count. :innocent:

 

[jadejazzkayla]

krickeys..i think this thing stinks something fierce. he regrets prior interviews. now this.:angel:

 

[RubyRed]

-DeDe tells him if it doesn't work out she will never pursue another man.

-It doesn't work out and this man is a child advocate.

-He thinks DeDe reconnected with Terri sometime after they broke up on August 1/09

- Terri has someone to talk to that is saying she(DeDe) will never date another man.

- Terri is unhappy, hence the MFH

-Terri and DeDe can identify with each other's situations

- Could DeDe have inadvertently found out how to safely stash a child somewhere.

- he says DeDe is emotionally gullible.

- If I put both Terri and DeDe's frame of minds together, it is just possible they are sharing the same type of dissatisfaction with the men they had in their lives.

-I am going to think some more, however this is interesting info.

 

[Haeve]

I think he revealed the part about her not having a boyfriend and saying she would never have another boyfriend for a purpose...again, really not his business to tell. Just bizarre...

Yeah, I'm wondering if this is some sort of nudge nudge wink wink thing, or if he's just tooting his own horn. Either way, ick.

 

[citigirl]

Another thing...why all the information about the fact that she is a "neat freak?" Over and over...carefully mailing the photo back...what does this have to do with Kyron? Or her relationship with Terri? Or anything? Is she too organized to have helped someone with a kidnapping?

I am not getting the purpose of this letter.

 

[ami]

-DeDe tells him if it doesn't work out she will never pursue another man.

-It doesn't work out and this man is a child advocate.

-He thinks DeDe reconnected with Terri sometime after they broke up on August 1/09

- Terri has someone to talk to that is saying she(DeDe) will never date another man.

- Terri is unhappy, hence the MFH

-Terri and DeDe can identify with each other's situations

- Could DeDe have inadvertently found out how to safely stash a child somewhere.

- he says DeDe is emotionally gullible.

- If I put both Terri and DeDe's frame of minds together, it is just possible they are sharing the same type of dissatisfaction with the men they had in their lives.

-I am going to think some more, however this is interesting info.

Weird. I wonder if his description of Dede is half (or more) projection. I mean "Dede" is emotionally gullible? "Dede" probably stashed Kyron somewhere believing she was being an "advocate" (what he is)? And the part where he made her the thousand dollar planter for free even though he was broke... hmmm. She asked him to do this and he just did it?

 

[A_News_Junkie]

"Adding to my belief that Kyron is still alive is the nature of the implications of what
must have happened for Kyron to be killed and buried. This is a series of events that is so
unimaginably evil in nature, not even Ted Bundy, Charles Manson or John Wayne Gacy
were that evil late into their murder careers. They never killed a 7 year old innocent child
that just moments previously was smiling proudly for the camera with his science project.
That level of evilness is so egregious that it would have manifested itself in some way
previously. This is a step way beyond trying to recruit someone to kill your husband. To
extinguish the life from an innocent and tender boy under this scenario is way beyond
reasonable comprehension. Then to go about your routine and act surprised when the kid
is not on the bus, and act like a distraught Susan Smith for the media and law
enforcement? I just fail to believe that this happened, God would not allow it."

I generally avoid true crime accounts because I find them so disturbing and they make me feel helpless; Kyron's case is the exception for me. But as I read more and more on this site, I wonder if a character witness really carries any weight at all. This man's evaluation of the degree of evil that would be necessary to carry out a murder indicates a belief that there will be signs and warnings ahead of time. But all you WSer's out there who have followed many cases: are there ever really signs or warnings? Isn't that what is so fascinating and yet horrifying about these kinds of crimes, that we can't see them coming, and really can't defend ourselves against them no matter how alert we are? Can you remember a case where a character reference held any weight or was accurate against the odds?

I hope this is on topic.

BlueStocking :Welcome-12-june::Welcome-12-june::Welcome-12-june:

Seeing you are new, whenever you quote something like this, copy and paste the link where it came from - copyright and it makes it easy for us to find the rest of it! Here is your link: http://media.oregonlive.com/portland_impact/other/jasonw.pdf

And as to your pondering - *IF* there are warning signs it seems to me, most of the time they are only apparent after the fact. Sometimes, yes - such as a kid who kills animals for the "fun" of it and then goes on to murder his family -- those are the ones we should be able to watch before a murder happens but most are like KC Anthony and the signs are only signs once you get the picture after the crime. The lies, manipulation, stealing,drugs, sex and dysfunctional family dynamics if all known to some might have been a warning - but I don't think anyone put it together till after the baby went missing.

 

[BeanE]

Crib Notes:


I discovered that at age 42, she never had a boyfriend.

She did tell me repeatedly that I was going to be the last man in her life and if it didn’t work out with us, that she would never pursue another man again, and I believed her.

I can’t recollect her mentioning Terri or Kaine’s name during the time I knew her.

Last year Terri Horman was not that close of a friend of DeDe’s otherwise I would have remembered her name.

I suspect that sometime after we broke-up on August 1st, 2009, DeDe reconnected with Terri

DeDe had many casual friendships

She would just talk to her friends on the phone and have little luncheon get-together’s with her friends almost daily.

She would prepare all her meals on Sunday and place them in Tupperware containers for the rest of the week. She had a very strict diet and ate 5 small healthy meals per day.

 

[Calliope]

Weird. I wonder if his description of Dede is half (or more) projection. I mean "Dede" is emotionally gullible? "Dede" probably stashed Kyron somewhere believing she was being an "advocate" (what he is)? And the part where he made her the thousand dollar planter for free even though he was broke... hmmm. She asked him to do this and he just did it?

He calls HER gullible after describing how he is the one and only man in her life --- ever?

LOL

 

[Etilema]

"Adding to my belief that Kyron is still alive is the nature of the implications of what
must have happened for Kyron to be killed and buried. This is a series of events that is so
unimaginably evil in nature, not even Ted Bundy, Charles Manson or John Wayne Gacy
were that evil late into their murder careers. They never killed a 7 year old innocent child
that just moments previously was smiling proudly for the camera with his science project.
That level of evilness is so egregious that it would have manifested itself in some way
previously. This is a step way beyond trying to recruit someone to kill your husband. To
extinguish the life from an innocent and tender boy under this scenario is way beyond
reasonable comprehension. Then to go about your routine and act surprised when the kid
is not on the bus, and act like a distraught Susan Smith for the media and law
enforcement? I just fail to believe that this happened, God would not allow it."

I generally avoid true crime accounts because I find them so disturbing and they make me feel helpless; Kyron's case is the exception for me. But as I read more and more on this site, I wonder if a character witness really carries any weight at all. This man's evaluation of the degree of evil that would be necessary to carry out a murder indicates a belief that there will be signs and warnings ahead of time. But all you WSer's out there who have followed many cases: are there ever really signs or warnings? Isn't that what is so fascinating and yet horrifying about these kinds of crimes, that we can't see them coming, and really can't defend ourselves against them no matter how alert we are? Can you remember a case where a character reference held any weight or was accurate against the odds?

I hope this is on topic.

We all find it unimaginable that someone could seem more or less within the range of normal* and then actually murder an innocent child. But we also know for a fact that this has happened many times. He mentions Susan Smith, himself. I agree, we can't go by people's impressions or beliefs about what people in general, or a particular individual, might be capable of.

* I am construing the range fairly liberally, since there are a number of characteristics and facts that have come to light about TH and DDS that are certainly unusual and outside the mainstream.

All JMO and speculation.

 

[LNL]

Remind me never to date anyone again. Just in case I accidentally get mixed up with the alleged perp of a crime. Not that I've done anything that terrible, but I have my moments, and if I were Dede right now (let's assume she's innocent of whatever relating to Kyron's disappearance), I'd want the ground to swallow me up from embarrassment. (I'm talking about the "final straw" breakup story--if it's accurate.) That's the weird thing to me--he thinks she's innocent of whatever, yet he spills these potentially embarrassing details of their personal lives. He doesn't seem vindictive, just clueless. Mostly my reaction was "ick". But I'm thinking better of DS, despite my currently low opinion of the ex-BF.

I think there are a lot of innocent clueless people mixed up in this. Possibly some of the players included.

Where's Kyron?!

All I can say is "birds of a feather, flock together". They all deserve each other. IMO

WHERE IS KYRON??

 

[ami]

Another thing...why all the information about the fact that she is a "neat freak?" Over and over...carefully mailing the photo back...what does this have to do with Kyron? Or her relationship with Terri? Or anything? Is she too organized to have helped someone with a kidnapping?

I am not getting the purpose of this letter.

I think this guy is the neat freak. Seriously. He spent how many words describing what she would make for lunch and how she packaged it? And the detail about how she mailed the picture back to him "carefully"? And he mentioned twice that he didn't think she should do the HOA thing because it was "dysfunctional" and unpaid... all just very... ick.

 

[Etilema]

He calls HER gullible after describing how he is the one and only man in her life --- ever?

LOL

LOL--I mentioned this part to my husband, that the guy said that at the age of 42 she had never had a boyfriend, and wasn't that strange. He responded, "If true."

But who knows, there are such cases, or perhaps she doesn't prefer men. It has been known to happen.

Just speculating.

 

[BeanE]

All I can say is "birds of a feather, flock together". They all deserve each other. IMO

WHERE IS KYRON??

Amen and Amen.

 

[Etilema]

I think this guy is the neat freak. Seriously. He spent how many words describing what she would make for lunch and how she packaged it? And the detail about how she mailed the picture back to him "carefully"? And he mentioned twice that he didn't think she should do the HOA thing because it was "dysfunctional" and unpaid... all just very... ick.

Yeah, but I got the same impression from his description of her. He said he was attracted to her in part because of her being so neat and clean and organized, etc. JMO

 

[BetteDavisEyes]

I recall having read that DeDe was a doctor wannabe. In that vein, this particular statement from "the former boyfriend's" essay struck me as very odd:

I want to reiterate that DeDe presented to be of very high intelligence and when inspired, possessed great drive and determination.

DeDe "presented"? WTF? Is that a diagnosis or a character reference?

 

[citigirl]

It does sound like Dede is a bit of a "user," though. Least she could have done was bring him a few veggies in exchange for the planter.