Alec Baldwin

[Seven]

Well this is very disappointing because I love Rosie. I hope she was simply (blindly) defending a friend. But if she really does yell at her kids in the manner of Baldwin's voicemail, then my opinion of her changes drastically.

Parental Alienation... uh huh. Next thing ya know they'll be saying Baldwin just has a unique parenting style and we need to be more tolerant of diversity.

Ziggy - great post. :clap:

Rosie will probably be one of the first to host AB when he comes out with his book (or whatever) about PAS parental alienation syndrome!

Alec Baldwin has publically apologized for his angry voicemail to his daughter, Irelend, placing the blame on the stress of his custody fight with Kim Basinger. . . . He said that in high-profile cases, "your opponents attempt to take a picture of you on your worst day and insist that this is who you are as a person. . . .He is planning to write about about the "incredible strains created by parental alienation.
(Parental alienation, a hotly debated topic in custody cases, is a situation in which one parent is said to alienate the child from the other.)

http://celebrity-moms.blogspot.com/2007/04/alec-baldwin-apologizes-and-blames.html

hmmmmmmmm .... ??? if alec baldwin knows full well that his "opponents" are out there, trying to "take a picture of him on his worst day," ...... ummmmmm ..... why does he keep falling into their trap? why does he keep doing the behaviour that alienates him from his daughter?

and ....... why does he "place the blame" for his own hissy fit on anyone but himself? was kim there with an arm up his back? or did she have strings tied to his arms, lips and vocal cords that she was operating from above?

somebody said it before .... :loser: :loser: :loser: :loser:

 

[southcitymom]

In her future she's going to be such a looker. and i hope her character is strong. it will be wonderful to see her progress should she choose a public life in the long term.

I always have a hard time imagining what a gangly adolescent will end up looking like. I think she will be tall and willowy and she does look lovely now - even though she's in that kind of awkward stage. I actually think that physically she favors her father more than her mother.

 

[southcitymom]

I have NEVER said that I don't condemn what Alec did... it's dispicable... but, Kim in NOT blameless. She doesn't need to air this publicly like she has.

I too have been through hell in a divorce with my Ex and trying to protect my children from what this SOB had done and said. But, never, not once, did I air our laundry publicly... never, not once, did I drag my kids into the middle of a disagreement or arguement with him. And you know what? HE'S paying for the past these days... not me! My kids "put up" with him because he's their father, but me... I'm the one the kids admire and respect and love beyond measure, because I did my best to protect them from all this .

That's the funny thing, Magic. No one here has posted that what Alec did was okay and that it's all the Mom's fault....yet I see posts acting like that's what differing opinions are saying. Very curious.

 

[Seven]

He said he was going to explain exactly how angry he was. He never threatened her with anything more. I have certainly told my kids I was going to "straighten them out" or "set them straight." It is not a threat of physical violence. More along the lines of an attitude adjustment.

naturally, youre entitled to your own interpretation, but i think people should listen to it for themselves, because your interpretation leaves something out, namely, many sentences after he says "i'm gonna straighten you out," Alec baldwin yells (after yelling a few GD's and calling ireland names and saying she doesnt have the brains and calling her mother a pain in the a$$) ....

"i'm gonna fly out there for the DAY, and i'm gonna straighten your a$$ OUT when i see you! you understand me? i'm gonna make sure you REALLY get it!" and all the while he's emphasizing certain words .... he's really going on a roll. he's jacking himself up madder and madder.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxwD4UGnJjc

so WHY DOES a 50-year-old father, with a known anger acting-out problem, yell menacingly at his 11-year-old daughter about what he's planning to do to "your a$$" ??? ...... ..... Answer: sounds like the threat of corporal punishment to me.

and then he says, "So you better be ready!"
and tells her he's gonna make sure she understands
"just how angry i really am."

Ireland knows whether it was a threat of physical violence or not, because she's lived through his tantrums before ...... and according to harvey levin, ireland, herself, gave him permission to publish the tape.

 

[sherri79]

He said he was going to explain exactly how angry he was. He never threatened her with anything more. I have certainly told my kids I was going to "straighten them out" or "set them straight." It is not a threat of physical violence. More along the lines of an attitude adjustment.

he screams at her. its not a loving father saying i need to talk to u. its a very angry man venting at a child

I have a feeling she didn't want to talk to him, so she didn't.

This is exactly the point. You can tell from the beginning of the message that he has gone out of his way to call her at that exact moment in time. Without knowing the backstory, I am guessing from his anger that there has been a great deal of discussion about him calling or not calling, and they have set up very specific times for him to call. He may have been accused of not calling enough, or calling at times when he knows she cannot talk or when he knows it is inconvenient or disruptive for her mother, and there may be something (in writing even!) that says exactly when he is supposed to stop whatever it is that he might be doing and call her. And she has turned the phone off. It is total passive agressive behavior.

its so nice when parents divorce and a court gets to write out time for the child. how dare she not drop what she is doing to speak to dear old dad. after all he shows his depth of love to that thoughtless rude little pig and she has the gall to not take his call?!?! i blame the mother.

That's the funny thing, Magic. No one here has posted that what Alec did was okay and that it's all the Mom's fault....yet I see posts acting like that's what differing opinions are saying. Very curious.

no1 said it was ok but excuses for why parents mistreat their kids are here. yes very1 gets stressed. every1 will have a moment they regret. that does not make what he did ok. maybe mom is a total (w)itch. the call is still abuse. maybe he has dealt with his child not wanting to speak to him for a long time. the call is still abuse. divorce is hard for the husband and the wife.... they picked each other. deal with it and get over it. do not take it out on your 11 year old. 11 may not be a baby but it is not a equal either. no way can she stand up to the man who treated her so badly. if she takes the passive aggressive way out and avoids him then maybe he should look in a mirror to see why

 

[Taximom]

"Judge Judy" chimed in this afternoon and said that judicially someone dropped the ball on this 4 1/2 yrs ago when it should have been nipped in the bud and a decision made.

(Just relaying what I heard.)

 

[sherri79]

she is right. tellin him to take a class is not enough in this case. the court could have said if he wanted to see his child he had to have long term therapy. the court took a quick fix and the child pays.

 

[PSUfan]

My parents NEVER talked to me the way Alec talked to his daughter. And I would never dream of speaking to my children that way. I guess we learn parenting from our own parents.

That said, when we moved from the country, to a very small town.. on main street, we had a family living next door who screamed often. We were shocked! The lady would come out of her house and just screech, "get your *advertiser censored* in here before I kick it!!!!" Now, these words meant nothing to Daryl, the little 5 year old, because the mom never laid a hand on him. But she screamed and cussed as if she would.

I also had a best friend who's parents would holler at her. They scared me so much when the started hollering because I had never been yelled at by my parents. They would also swear, and accuse her of thinking the whole world revolved around her, and all sorts of things. They never laid a hand on her. (my parents were much worse.. they would punish..even spank up until about 6 years old, and calmly take away privileges, and fricken stick to it!!! grrrr)

My point is, maybe Ireland is accustomed to this from her father. Maybe she realizes he just screams and yells, and it doesnt amount to a hill of beans.

 

[Seven]

My point is, maybe Ireland is accustomed to this from her father. Maybe she realizes he just screams and yells, and it doesnt amount to a hill of beans.

on the other hand, it could be that when Alec Baldwin starts talking about ireland's "A$$" and what he's gonna do to her a$$, namely "straighten your A$$ out" ... just
maybe she knows the way he does that is to beat it flat. :banghead:

 

[AlwaysShocked]

I see lots of people on this board saying a spouse should "bend over backwards" to not say anything negative about the ex. But what if the ex is a consistent idiot? What if time after time the ex screams and yells and threatens? Is the custodial parent just supposed to pretend these things aren't happening?

Again, if this was my child and Baldwin - with the reputation for outbursts of anger that he has - the father, I would do anything and everything in my power to keep my childd AWAY from him!

This is exactly the type of behavior that will result in a parent having visiting rights suspended.

And I don't care how much stress Baldwin has been under for how many years, you don't talk to your CHILD like that, forgodsake! And if Rosie O'Donnel talks to her children like that, then she's just as bad as Baldwin is!

 

[april4sky]

I see lots of people on this board saying a spouse should "bend over backwards" to not say anything negative about the ex. But what if the ex is a consistent idiot? What if time after time the ex screams and yells and threatens? Is the custodial parent just supposed to pretend these things aren't happening?

Again, if this was my child and Baldwin - with the reputation for outbursts of anger that he has - the father, I would do anything and everything in my power to keep my childd AWAY from him!

This is exactly the type of behavior that will result in a parent having visiting rights suspended.

And I don't care how much stress Baldwin has been under for how many years, you don't talk to your CHILD like that, forgodsake! And if Rosie O'Donnel talks to her children like that, then she's just as bad as Baldwin is!

Right on!!!! Baldwin is angry the tape has been released because he thinks it will affect Ireland. But the dumb A$$ :loser: thinks it's ok for him to write a book!!! I think he's a control freak and is still very angry that Kim had the nerve to leave him.....How dare she!!!! And thats why he does what he does...still trying to control. JMHO

 

[Floh]

I must have missed this on the thread?

Basinger Calls Baldwin 'Unstable and Irrational'

"Everybody is always asking why this custody battle has been going on for so many years and now they have the answer," says the statement, released Monday. "The issue is not about Kim or the alleged alienation that Alec constantly refers to. It is about his ongoing aggressive behavior."

Full statement: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20036514,00.html

 

[ziggy]

Kim may not be blameless but let's see...nope, don't see anything about her being a bad parent in the news. I haven't seen anything negative about her except that she's fighting custody and why? Well, perhaps she has good reason. I'm not ready to lay any blame on her when Alec has the reputation he does and the evidence we now have.

Hey, Alec, here's a news flash....if you want more love from your daughter, try giving it. Nobody would EVER want to answer the phone and be victim to your tirades in person. Good grief. Speaking to her the way you did and threatening to come see her to straighten her out...well, that's really going to make her want to see you - not.

We have an 11 year old and a 13 year old. They certainly have their own ideas about what they like, who they like and when it comes to parents they know who loves them and who makes them feel like **it. Your approach to getting your daughter to answer your calls really freaking sucks. I'd shut my phone off too.

 

[southcitymom]

Kim may not be blameless but let's see...nope, don't see anything about her being a bad parent in the news. I haven't seen anything negative about her except that she's fighting custody and why? Well, perhaps she has good reason. I'm not ready to lay any blame on her when Alec has the reputation he does and the evidence we now have.

Perhaps Kim's less palatable parental behavior isn't in the news because Baldwin chooses to obey the Court's Order regarding that matter.

There is evidence that Kim is an alcoholic and mentally ill. There is evidence that she has consistantly tried to poison any relationship between her child and her child's father. Does this mean she shouldn't have custody and/or visitation with her daughter? In my opinion, no.

Do Baldwin's rage/OCD issues mean he shouldn't have custody and/or visitation with his daughter? In my opinion, no.

At this point, I think we can only rely on the Court which has the most and best information as well as the child's best interest at heart. Ireland's parents can't seem to figure it out which is why the Court is involved.

 

[southcitymom]

I must have missed this on the thread?

Basinger Calls Baldwin 'Unstable and Irrational'

"Everybody is always asking why this custody battle has been going on for so many years and now they have the answer," says the statement, released Monday. "The issue is not about Kim or the alleged alienation that Alec constantly refers to. It is about his ongoing aggressive behavior."

Full statement: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20036514,00.html

And the Judge's Order continues to be broken with statements like this. I guess Ms. Basinger is wholly above the law. How nice for her; how sad for her daughter.

 

[southcitymom]

I see lots of people on this board saying a spouse should "bend over backwards" to not say anything negative about the ex. But what if the ex is a consistent idiot? What if time after time the ex screams and yells and threatens? Is the custodial parent just supposed to pretend these things aren't happening?

Even if a child's parent is a consistant idiot and screams and yells and threatens, the "other" parent joining in the frey and slinging negative stuff only harms the child. 100% of the time.

Of course, you don't ignore these things. You make daily, often difficult, decisions. You encourage your child to speak honestly and listen to the child's feelings. If your child needs therapy to learn to deal with a parent and with her feelings regarding that parent, you arrange that. If you need help or therapy to learn how to help your child, you arrange that.

The resources are vast and all reputable experts agree that, barring physical or sexual abuse, a child must be encouraged to respect and have a separate relationship with each parent. And this is a process that is helped or hindered by the other parent's attitudes, words and actions.

Depending on the child's age, you say things to your child like "It sounds like your father's tantrum last weekend really upset you. Is that something you can talk to him about? You're supposed to spend Saturday with him this weekend - how do you feel about doing that?"

Always your attitude and what you communicate to the child must be this: "He's your father and he's not perfect. None of us are. He doesn't always show it well, but he loves you and he always has. The reality is that he's in your life and you are going to have to learn to deal with him because he wants to see you and have a of relationship with you because you are his daughter. I will help you do this in a way that is safe for you, but ultimately it is your relationship with him."

While I respect the views of posters who say, of course I'd keep my daughter away from Baldwin at all costs based on that phone call, I just don't agree with that and could never parent that way. It's easy to just try to cut off all ties with the other parent. It's hard to make the daily decisions and walk your child through the process. I would try to take the hard route for the sake of my child.

 

[michelle]

AB seems to me like the kind of man who does not even need to say anything to scare you, he just has that look that kills. I did not see his outburst about stoning a family but I hear he was like a crazed wild man, pretty scary to me. I can only imagine how a child would feel.

 

[angelmom]

I guess I have a hard time believing that "straighten your *advertiser censored* out" means anything physical b/c if AB ever laid a hand on Ireland we all know KB would have video, audio and still pictures to prove it.

 

[Floh]

Even if a child's parent is a consistant idiot and screams and yells and threatens, the "other" parent joining in the frey and slinging negative stuff only harms the child. 100% of the time.

Of course, you don't ignore these things. You make daily, often difficult, decisions. You encourage your child to speak honestly and listen to the child's feelings. If your child needs therapy to learn to deal with a parent and with her feelings regarding that parent, you arrange that. If you need help or therapy to learn how to help your child, you arrange that.

The resources are vast and all reputable experts agree that, barring physical or sexual abuse, a child must be encouraged to respect and have a separate relationship with each parent. And this is a process that is helped or hindered by the other parent's attitudes, words and actions.

Depending on the child's age, you say things to your child like "It sounds like your father's tantrum last weekend really upset you. Is that something you can talk to him about? You're supposed to spend Saturday with him this weekend - how do you feel about doing that?"

Always your attitude and what you communicate to the child must be this: "He's your father and he's not perfect. None of us are. He doesn't always show it well, but he loves you and he always has. The reality is that he's in your life and you are going to have to learn to deal with him because he wants to see you and have a of relationship with you because you are his daughter. I will help you do this in a way that is safe for you, but ultimately it is your relationship with him."

While I respect the views of posters who say, of course I'd keep my daughter away from Baldwin at all costs based on that phone call, I just don't agree with that and could never parent that way. It's easy to just try to cut off all ties with the other parent. It's hard to make the daily decisions and walk your child through the process. I would try to take the hard route for the sake of my child.

""It sounds like your father's tantrum last weekend really upset you. Is that something you can talk to him about? You're supposed to spend Saturday with him this weekend - how do you feel about doing that?""

How about if the child consistently begs she s/he doesn't want to see daddy? again and again? every time the subject comes up? are their feelings to be disregarded?

i have no idea if this is the case with Ireland.

 

[southcitymom]

""It sounds like your father's tantrum last weekend really upset you. Is that something you can talk to him about? You're supposed to spend Saturday with him this weekend - how do you feel about doing that?""

How about if the child consistently begs she s/he doesn't want to see daddy? again and again? every time the subject comes up? are their feelings to be disregarded?

i have no idea if this is the case with Ireland.

That's a great question.

My 7-year-old goddaughter has gone through periods where she doesn't want to see her father again and again. But because of the way her mother handles it (respecting her daughters wishes but talking positively about future visits with her father or arranging group playdates (father, daughters, other members of father's family, etc..) my goddaughter's attitude eventually changes.

There are many times now when my goddaughter wants to go spend time with her father and that was not always the case.

Also, counseling between mother, father and child can help if no progress gets made otherwise. If for years and years a child refuses to see the other parent, of course you can't force them. But I don't think that's usually the case. And you can always for years and years continue to remind the child in a positive, nonthreatening way that the door to a relationship with the other parent is open and that you will support her in safely walking through that door if she wants to.

After a divorce, many kids go through periods when they don't want to see the "other" parent. But if the "remaining" parent acts like a grownup, that door is never completely shut. And barring physical/sexual abuse, it never should be.

You can be creative and respectful at the same time - it's just hard work.
Many people would rather take the easy way out and throw out the baby with the bathwater and tell themselves they are doing it for the sake of their child. That's a compelling lie to believe because it makes you feel like a good protective parent, but for me, it doesn't pass the straight face test.

I can think of no bad situation that wouldn't be made better by one parent safely and thoughtfully encouraging a healthy relationship with the other parent.

Just my opinion.