Allison Baden-Clay - GENERAL DISCUSSION THREAD #42

[LadyBird1]

I found it so hard to read Allison's diary in the MSM. Its about as personal as you can get. Her family must not be impressed with it being published.

Alioop. The diary IS personal. It IS so very telling. It IS embarrassing.
But the bottom line is this, the author is dead.
It is also the story of a lovely lady who was married to a Malignant Narcissistic Psychopath. IMO.
Don't think even the lady herself recognized that. (Thought she should have been able to manage situation.)
I have the feeling there are posters here, and/ or on the other site who can empathize with the diary author, and her traits.
Her need to clam up. Put up and shut up. Too personal. Don't want to expose this vulgarity; when in reality she has brought this on herself, by her choice of wrong partner in life.
Her perceived need to look on the brighter side of life.
Her ability to stay positive and stay focused.
Her need for her marriage to be successful at all costs. (Didn't realize that when the marriage book said; when a marriage is about give and take, it might have meant, she would have to give, he would expect to take.... Everything.)
Her constant re-evaluation of life's priorities. She would need to be very flexible; to accommodate his ever changing needs.
Her supposed ability to change course. OK. Accept his weaknesses, his supposed requirement for an extra marital affair. What's next best thing? Maybe try and enjoy some of the enjoyments he is enjoying with the latest "affair"? "How was the movie dear?"
There are so very many women today, and in the past, (and will be I suppose in the future), who have to deal with this precise exact same stuff.
They in their innocence and I expect naievity, have no idea of the dangers of these sorts of men, or of the methods and means by which they are capable.
Allison Baden Clay of Queensland Australia, may yet be able to speak, yet she is dead. She may be able to alert other ladies just like herself, to look out, to be aware, avoid if possible these types; if not, to escape the situation if possible
Realize there can be a new life. Realize that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Some women have escaped, have been survivors, and are even now able to post on sites such as this with true understanding and empathy.

 

[CaseClosed]

..... 11 ......

 

[CaseClosed]

Can anyone help me please with a link that showed a photograph of a huge pile of documents that the CM purchased the evening of the second bail hearing? I can't seem to find it anywhere now. It was on the CM online.

I remember the photo you are referring to, but I don't have a link .. sorry!

 

[redlightthroughpaper]

Sorry RLTP could you clarify CM?

Sorry. CM = Courier Mail. It is a major MSM 'newspaper' in Queensland.

 

[Liadan]

Sorry. CM = Courier Mail. It is a major MSM 'newspaper' in Queensland.

Sorry RLTP -I got what you menat and then deleted my post - but obviously not fast enough!

 

[CaseClosed]

Alioop. The diary IS personal. It IS so very telling. It IS embarrassing.
But the bottom line is this, the author is dead.
It is also the story of a lovely lady who was married to a Malignant Narcissistic Psychopath. IMO.
Don't think even the lady herself recognized that. (Thought she should have been able to manage situation.)
I have the feeling there are posters here, and/ or on the other site who can empathize with the diary author, and her traits.
Her need to clam up. Put up and shut up. Too personal. Don't want to expose this vulgarity; when in reality she has brought this on herself, by her choice of wrong partner in life.
Her perceived need to look on the brighter side of life.
Her ability to stay positive and stay focused.
Her need for her marriage to be successful at all costs. (Didn't realize that when the marriage book said; when a marriage is about give and take, it might have meant, she would have to give, he would expect to take.... Everything.)
Her constant re-evaluation of life's priorities. She would need to be very flexible; to accommodate his ever changing needs.
Her supposed ability to change course. OK. Accept his weaknesses, his supposed requirement for an extra marital affair. What's next best thing? Maybe try and enjoy some of the enjoyments he is enjoying with him? "How was the movie dear?"
There are so very many women today, and in the past, (and will be I suppose in the future), who have to deal with this precise exact same stuff.
They in their innocence and I expect naievity, have no idea of the dangers of these sorts of men, or of the methods and means by which they are capable.
Allison Baden Clay of Queensland Australia, may yet be able to speak, yet she is dead. She may be able to alert other ladies just like herself, to look out, to be aware, avoid if possible these types; if not, to escape the situation if possible
Realize there can be a new life. Realize that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Some women have escaped, have been survivors, and are even now able to post on sites such as this with true understanding and empathy.

Although I understand a diary is evidence in a case like this, I wonder if publishing these in MSM infringes on copyright. Like, a photograph taken by me has automatic copyright and nobody else can reproduce it without my permission. If I am dead, then my heirs have that right.

 

[Liadan]

Alioop. The diary IS personal. It IS so very telling. It IS embarrassing.
But the bottom line is this, the author is dead.
It is also the story of a lovely lady who was married to a Malignant Narcissistic Psychopath. IMO.
Don't think even the lady herself recognized that. (Thought she should have been able to manage situation.)
I have the feeling there are posters here, and/ or on the other site who can empathize with the diary author, and her traits.
Her need to clam up. Put up and shut up. Too personal. Don't want to expose this vulgarity; when in reality she has brought this on herself, by her choice of wrong partner in life.
Her perceived need to look on the brighter side of life.
Her ability to stay positive and stay focused.
Her need for her marriage to be successful at all costs. (Didn't realize that when the marriage book said; when a marriage is about give and take, it might have meant, she would have to give, he would expect to take.... Everything.)
Her constant re-evaluation of life's priorities. She would need to be very flexible; to accommodate his ever changing needs.
Her supposed ability to change course. OK. Accept his weaknesses, his supposed requirement for an extra marital affair. What's next best thing? Maybe try and enjoy some of the enjoyments he is enjoying with him? "How was the movie dear?"
There are so very many women today, and in the past, (and will be I suppose in the future), who have to deal with this precise exact same stuff.
They in their innocence and I expect naievity, have no idea of the dangers of these sorts of men, or of the methods and means by which they are capable.
Allison Baden Clay of Queensland Australia, may yet be able to speak, yet she is dead. She may be able to alert other ladies just like herself, to look out, to be aware, avoid if possible these types; if not, to escape the situation if possible
Realize there can be a new life. Realize that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Some women have escaped, have been survivors, and are even now able to post on sites such as this with true understanding and empathy.

Oh no doubt LB1 - but generally people have the benefit of time passing or a media payout to give reason for their honesty and frankness. In Allison's case she has neither.

We don't need her deepest thoughts and her most treasured imaginings to understand her situation. She was wronged in the most plain and simply way. What do we need to contrive from her diary?

 

[redlightthroughpaper]

Although I understand a diary is evidence in a case like this, I wonder if publishing these in MSM infringes on copyright. Like, a photograph taken by me has automatic copyright and nobody else can reproduce it without my permission. If I am dead, then my heirs have that right.

Now copyright is something I can provide a link for! But I'm not sure how it would apply to something that has been produced as evidence in court. I will look into it.

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/ca1968133/s33.html

" (3) If, before the death of the author of a literary work (other than a computer program) or a dramatic or musical work:

(a) the work had not been published;

(b) the work had not been performed in public;

(c) the work had not been broadcast; and

(d) records of the work had not been offered or exposed for sale to the public;

the copyright in the work continues to subsist until the end of 70 years after the end of the calendar year in which the work is first published, performed in public, or broadcast, or records of the work are first offered or exposed for sale to the public, whichever is the earliest of those events to happen".

 

[CaseClosed]

Thanks for your insights, Allioop. I can appreciate the ethics, but, wow. To me this is where the legal system fails us all. It amazes me that at no stage a lawyer asks his/her client if she/he is guilty. Where is the ethics in representing someone who the lawyer 'believes' is guilty and they get off??? How do these professionals sleep at nights?

Someone explained months ago that a lawyer/barrister/defence lawyer, etc. is ALWAYS an officers of the Court first, hence their duty is to the Court first and foremost and NOT to their client. It was said that if a defence lawyer is made aware that their client is guilty, they CANNOT represent them in Court as if they were NOT guilty. In that sense, they choose not to ask if their client committed the crime or not.

 

[Chief of Funtime]

We don't know what happened at the house, the roundabout or the bridge but we have learned a lot about all personalities involved with the exception of Allison . I would love to know more about but would rather hear it from those who were close to her . The diary notes are a very difficult read and IMO are answers to set of questions given to her by her counsellor.

 

[CaseClosed]

Now copyright is something I can provide a link for! But I'm not sure how it would apply to something that has been produced as evidence in court. I will look into it.

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/ca1968133/s33.html

" (3) If, before the death of the author of a literary work (other than a computer program) or a dramatic or musical work:

(a) the work had not been published;

(b) the work had not been performed in public;

(c) the work had not been broadcast; and

(d) records of the work had not been offered or exposed for sale to the public;

the copyright in the work continues to subsist until the end of 70 years after the end of the calendar year in which the work is first published, performed in public, or broadcast, or records of the work are first offered or exposed for sale to the public, whichever is the earliest of those events to happen".

That's right, although I thought is was 75 years. Thanks for clarifying.

 

[redlightthroughpaper]

Although I understand a diary is evidence in a case like this, I wonder if publishing these in MSM infringes on copyright. Like, a photograph taken by me has automatic copyright and nobody else can reproduce it without my permission. If I am dead, then my heirs have that right.

Seems they can publish it without infringing copyright. :furious:

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/ca1968133/s43.html

"COPYRIGHT ACT 1968 - SECT 43

Reproduction for purpose of judicial proceedings or professional advice
(1) The copyright in a literary, dramatic, musical or artistic work is not infringed by anything done for the purposes of a judicial proceeding or of a report of a judicial proceeding.

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/ca1968133/s42.html

COPYRIGHT ACT 1968 - SECT 42

Fair dealing for purpose of reporting news
(1) A fair dealing with a literary, dramatic, musical or artistic work, or with an adaptation of a literary, dramatic or musical work, does not constitute an infringement of the copyright in the work if:

(a) it is for the purpose of, or is associated with, the reporting of news in a newspaper, magazine or similar periodical and a sufficient acknowledgement of the work is made; or

(b) it is for the purpose of, or is associated with, the reporting of news by means of a communication or in a cinematograph film.

(2) The playing of a musical work in the course of reporting news by means of a communication or in a cinematograph film is not a fair dealing with the work for the purposes of this section if the playing of the work does not form part of the news being reported."

 

[LadyBird1]

Although I understand a diary is evidence in a case like this, I wonder if publishing these in MSM infringes on copyright. Like, a photograph taken by me has automatic copyright and nobody else can reproduce it without my permission. If I am dead, then my heirs have that right.

Hi CC, I wasn't actually referring to copyright or anything like that. Or even evidence against one accused.
No, my thought here were more on the reflections of one who was trapped in a malignant relationship.
She who wrote, possible didn't even grasp the significance of that malignancy.
These diary entries could have been written by any one person, (intelligent enough to understand and then write) who is in a relationship such as this.
It is almost text book. She, who is on the receiving end of a relationship such as this writes of her coping mechanisms with Narcissistic Psychopathy.
I applaud Allison. I thank Allison. I admire Allison. Listen and hear Allison. She was a beautiful, brilliant, bendable and flexible lady.

 

[Liadan]

We don't know what happened at the house, the roundabout or the bridge but we have learned a lot about all personalities involved with the exception of Allison . I would love to know more about but would rather hear it from those who were close to her . The diary notes are a very difficult read and IMO are answers to set of questions given to her by her counsellor.

Yes so true CofF -what Allison needed to do for homework and not necessarily her absolute feelings. Such an accurate statement for us all to consider!

It was her homework after all to reframe her situation in terms that the counsellor had laid out.

I wonder what GBC's homework was? Did we see his diary and his pledge of dedication to the relationship to keep his family in tact?

 

[LadyBird1]

Oh no doubt LB1 - but generally people have the benefit of time passing or a media payout to give reason for their honesty and frankness. In Allison's case she has neither.

We don't need her deepest thoughts and her most treasured imaginings to understand her situation. She was wronged in the most plain and simply way. What do we need to contrive from her diary?

True, Liaden. What I have gleaned is this: Allison was one who was trying with all her might to make this fiasco of a marriage work.
Also have gleaned that she was not depressed, even though she was led to believe that line.
She appears to be full of fantastic coping mechanisms.
She appears to have been honest and frank.
She also appears to have been dealt some cruel blows through her marriage.
Those cruel blows have knocked her about, but somehow she has managed to bounce back!

 

[CaseClosed]

True, Liaden. What I have gleaned is this: Allison was one who was trying with all her might to make this fiasco of a marriage work.
Also have gleaned that she was not depressed, even though she was led to believe that line.
She appears to be full of fantastic coping mechanisms.
She appears to have been honest and frank.
She also appears to have been dealt some cruel blows through her marriage.
Those cruel blows have knocked her about, but somehow she has managed to bounce back!

I would imagine that most women that find out that their husband is having an affair, would firstly be very angry (I've been there!), but then some level of sadness would set in. But, if we add to this that maybe she was being abused, then I would think that she could be depressed, at least during some periods. My guess is that she was trying to hold it together just for the girls. If she was a woman without children, I think she would have left him long time ago. IMO.

 

[Chief of Funtime]

Yes so true CofF -what Allison needed to do for homework and not necessarily her absolute feelings. Such an accurate statement for us all to consider!

It was her homework after all to reframe her situation in terms that the counsellor had laid out.

I wonder what GBC's homework was? Did we see his diary and his pledge of dedication to the relationship to keep his family in tact?

Interesting! We didn't see his diary notes but maybe we will hear more about that in court . The comparison could be very bad for him.

 

[LadyBird1]

I would imagine that most women that find out that their husband is having an affair, would firstly be very angry (I've been there!), but then some level of sadness would set in. But, if we add to this that maybe she was being abused, then I would think that she could be depressed, at least during some periods. My guess is that she was trying to hold it together just for the girls. If she was a woman without children, I think she would have left him long time ago. IMO.

Bit of a difference between being depressed and being sad. Or even staring in the face of that which is ugly.

 

[Zim]

Today I was reading a SAfrican online newspaper and saw this and thought it was so topical with regards to Allison's diary.
It is worth a read.
http://www.health24.com/Mental-Health/Disorders/6-tactics-used-to-control-women-20120721

 

[Ippygal]

I would imagine that most women that find out that their husband is having an affair, would firstly be very angry (I've been there!), but then some level of sadness would set in. But, if we add to this that maybe she was being abused, then I would think that she could be depressed, at least during some periods. My guess is that she was trying to hold it together just for the girls. If she was a woman without children, I think she would have left him long time ago. IMO.

Have been in the exact situation myself.... Same type of narcissistic, cheating husband, mental abuse , the works...but had to keep it together for my child. Guess that's why I'm so drawn to this sad story....