Amanda Berry, Gina deJesus & Michelle Knight - General discussion #5

ktgirl · May 9, 2014

I started reading Michelle's book today and couldn't put it down. I finished it this evening. This woman has made it through so much. Even before Castro abducted her, she had been neglected and abused by her family, including sexually abused by a male family member.
She has come out of all this abuse and having her life stolen from her as such a loving, strong woman. She's one strong butterfly!

Some new info I found out from reading the book:
- I had seen news reports that her son was conceived because Michelle was gang raped at school. Not so. Michelle had a short-lived romance with a boy at her school who she very much loved (but later found out he had a girlfriend who attended another school; when she found out she was already pregnant with his child. It's not clear that she ever told the father she was pregnant).
- She basically raised and provided everyday care (feeding, bathing, etc) for her siblings and younger cousins. She got them ready for school, fed them (one time by heating hot dogs on a radiator in desperation), etc. She was doing this from a very young age.
- She ran away around age 15 due to the sexual abuse in the home. She was homeless and lived in a trash can under a bridge. Eventually she met a young man who sold drugs who took her in, along with a young man who had been abandoned by his family. They formed their own family (with no abuse) and lived together in what seemed to be the most stable situation Michelle had ever been in as a child. She became homeless again when the man was arrested. A family friend saw her & told her dad, who came and got her.

Michelle's life was pretty horrific even before Castro abducted her. I was horrified reading about everything she had gone through even before she got to the part about Castro. Then when I read about Casto....well, the term "monster" is too kind.

- Michelle cannot physically have children now because of the abuse Castro inflicted on her when he'd force her to miscarry. Michelle seems to have taken the brunt of his rage and she was pregnant several times. It is a wonder that Amanda did not get pregnant again and that Gina didn't get pregnant at all (that has been disclosed).

- When the police & EMTs arrived the day the girls were rescued, they put Michelle on oxygen in the ambulance. She hadn't been feeling well that day but she often didn't feel well. At the hospital it was found that she had a bacterial infection in her stomach. She was very ill and could have died when she arrived at the hospital and she didn't even realize it. The escape/rescue happened just in time.

- Castro made Gina & Michelle pick new names for Amanda's child to call them by. Michelle picked "Juju" because she liked Jujubee candies. Gina picked "Chelsea."

Castro seems to have treated Amanda much differently (this is also referenced in Michelle's Dr. Phil interviews). He referred to her as "his wife." She was kept in a separate room from Michelle and Gina. She was allowed to keep her child. She seems to have been treated somewhat better (though she was still treated horrifically). I am interested to read what Amanda has to say when her book come out because even though she was in the same house-prison as Michelle and Gina, her kidnapping & imprisonment experience had to be very different.

ckia2013 · May 11, 2014

What'sThatClue · May 11, 2014

My son gave me Michelle's book for Mother's Day.

. I'm starting it now and can't wait to get into it. Bless her heart.

zwiebel · May 17, 2014

Michelle's given a thought-provoking interview on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour. I've linked and posted about it on her thread, here:

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=208577&page=4&highlight=michelle+knight

Am off to buy her book now.

giagreen · May 17, 2014

Just got done reading Michelle's book. couldn't put it down. I wont spoil it for any of you that haven't read it. All I have to say is Michelle deserves every ounce of happiness there is in this world and I hope she keeps on thriving

MzOpinion8d · Jul 16, 2014

Hello everyone! I "read" Michelle's book by listening to the audiobook version. She is truly a hero and my heart hurts for all that she had to endure. Her spirit and determination are amazing to me. It's so, so sad that she had such an awful life to begin with, and then got kidnapped by that insane monster and tortured for all those years. The things that stood out to me as being the most hurtful to her were that no one was even looking for her after she went missing, and that "the dude" caused her to miscarry every time he impregnated her. (She refers to Castro as "The Dude" all the way through the book. I love it that she strips him of his identity just as he tried to strip her of hers.) And, of course, her sorrow at not being able to reunite with her son. I feel certain that someday he will learn who his birth mother is and they will be able to build a relationship, but I admire her so very much for being so respectful of the family who adopted him. She is a woman who put her money where her mouth is and when she says she wants what is best for her son, she means it. Even though it is her greatest desire to be a part of his life, she isn't trying to force her way in.

I wish I could send Michelle a birthday card for every birthday she had while she was imprisoned, telling her how valued and cherished she is. I am so glad she refused to see her terrible "mother" after she was found. That woman did not deserve to be part of Michelle's life after all she allowed to happen to Michelle.

At the beginning of this thread there is discussion about Michelle and Amanda's relationship and why there seems to be some strife. I think the person who said it was because Amanda was allowed to have her baby is right. I'm sure it's more complicated than that but it has to be so hard for Michelle that Amanda got to keep her daughter and still has her child today whereas Michelle lost everything because of "the dude" including even the possibility of more children.

When my daughters are old enough, I will have them read this book for several reasons but primarily for them to see the example Michelle sets by being a fighter and never giving up. I hope she has peace in her life now and can live the rest of her days knowing she is loved by many.

JerseyGirl · Jul 16, 2014

"I'm not a celebrity," said Knight, 33. "I don't want to be. I want to be me."

Fame has brought some frustrations. Knight becomes frightened when crowds sometimes gather around her as she walks alone. She finds it annoying when people snap cellphone photos without asking.

And people from her distant past have reappeared, feigning friendship but ultimately seeking money, she said. "You have to be careful every day because of the book and the money and the 'it' factor of who you are," she said. "They're not coming at me to be my friend. They want what I have."

Knight said her 3,911 days in captivity have helped instill in her a deep appreciation for what's good in the world. "It's just the little stupid things, like picking up a phone or writing in a book or looking out a window or just seeing a bird fly by," she said.

These days, she waits her turn at a local bar for karaoke night. She's trying to write and record songs. While she has been befuddled by some of the new technology that didn't exist in 2002 — like flat-screen televisions — she has no problems pecking away at her oversized smartphone.

She also has a growing collection of tattoos, including an image of a pretty young girl on her left bicep. She said the tattoo represents the babies Castro killed.

"They are my little angels," she said.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/michelle-knight-fame-complications-24541627

As for the future, she has a number of aspirations, such as becoming a chef and owning a restaurant and recording music. What seems to excite her most, at the moment, is the prospect of soon visiting Disney World.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...el-castro-troubled-new-fame-article-1.1865450

highflyer · Jul 16, 2014

For someone that doesn't want celebrity she sure pops up on interviews a lot.

AnaTeresa · Jul 17, 2014

highflyer said:
For someone that doesn't want celebrity she sure pops up on interviews a lot.

She does have to find a way to support herself. For someone who has missed an awful lot of life, this may be the easiest way to start as she works on catching up with life. She doesn't have a family really to return home to and take care of her.

nikb · Jul 19, 2014

Jacie Estes said:
Michelle Knight: Why Her Son, Now 14, Will Never Know Her Identity

http://hollywoodlife.com/2014/05/05...ng-victim-son-memoir-finding-me-ariel-castro/

This is really sad but I can also understand it. Maybe he'll be ready to know someday.

Man it was hard to read that article with all the pics of the popping up on the right. Like the story isn't bad enough, I REALLY REALLY don't want to see "the dude's" face ever again! And he never even hurt me! I hope the girls are all able to stay away from most of the press, if they need or want to.

ETA: and yes I just realized I'm way behind, sorry!

newone · Jul 19, 2014

nikb said:
This is really sad but I can also understand it. Maybe he'll be ready to know someday.

Man it was hard to read that article with all the pics of the popping up on the right. Like the story isn't bad enough, I REALLY REALLY don't want to see "the dude's" face ever again! And he never even hurt me! I hope the girls are all able to stay away from most of the press, if they need or want to.

I always find myself swimming against the current......she could reach out to her child because he does think of her and he probably wonders if it was his fault he was abandoned. I believe she ''owes'' him an explanation period dot.

newone · Jul 19, 2014

JerseyGirl said:
"I'm not a celebrity," said Knight, 33. "I don't want to be. I want to be me."

Fame has brought some frustrations. Knight becomes frightened when crowds sometimes gather around her as she walks alone. She finds it annoying when people snap cellphone photos without asking.

And people from her distant past have reappeared, feigning friendship but ultimately seeking money, she said. "You have to be careful every day because of the book and the money and the 'it' factor of who you are," she said. "They're not coming at me to be my friend. They want what I have."

Knight said her 3,911 days in captivity have helped instill in her a deep appreciation for what's good in the world. "It's just the little stupid things, like picking up a phone or writing in a book or looking out a window or just seeing a bird fly by," she said.

These days, she waits her turn at a local bar for karaoke night. She's trying to write and record songs. While she has been befuddled by some of the new technology that didn't exist in 2002 like flat-screen televisions she has no problems pecking away at her oversized smartphone.

She also has a growing collection of tattoos, including an image of a pretty young girl on her left bicep. She said the tattoo represents the babies Castro killed.

"They are my little angels," she said.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/michelle-knight-fame-complications-24541627

As for the future, she has a number of aspirations, such as becoming a chef and owning a restaurant and recording music. What seems to excite her most, at the moment, is the prospect of soon visiting Disney World.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...el-castro-troubled-new-fame-article-1.1865450

that looks like a heck of a lot of '''new ink ''' to me

nikb · Jul 19, 2014

newone said:
I always find myself swimming against the current......she could reach out to her child because he does think of her and he probably wonders if it was his fault he was abandoned. I believe she ''owes'' him an explanation period dot.

I agree that she should reach out, but it sounds like she has and the adoptive parents have said "no" for now. I may be mis-interpreting or putting too much trust into the people that have raised him. My hope is that if he wants to get to know her the parents and Michelle can work together to help him do that over time.

Linda7NJ · Jul 21, 2014

newone said:
I always find myself swimming against the current......she could reach out to her child because he does think of her and he probably wonders if it was his fault he was abandoned. I believe she ''owes'' him an explanation period dot.

When he is 18, that's HIS choice to make, not hers.
IMO

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DVKCal · Aug 31, 2014

Strange Gina and Michelle seemed close after their escape, but now they seem so distant. Gina and Amanda are now very close, and Michele is left alone. I wonder what is the cause of this.

Squeeze · Aug 31, 2014

I think it's because Michelle has emerged as the strong one. Amanda and Gina have more of a connection now because of their need for privacy. JMO.

ckia2013 · Aug 31, 2014

Squeeze said:
I think it's because Michelle has emerged as the strong one. Amanda and Gina have more of a connection now because of their need for privacy. JMO.

Although Michelle has certainly shown ample strength, I definitely think that all three women have displayed strength -- albeit in different ways. The nature of the estrangement among the survivors is far more complex than what anyone has suggested (and there has been much speculation on social media). I doubt that Amanda and Gina will ever publicly address their estrangement from Michelle though.

DVKCal · Sep 4, 2014

ckia2013 said:
Although Michelle has certainly shown ample strength, I definitely think that all three women have displayed strength -- albeit in different ways. The nature of the estrangement among the survivors is far more complex than what anyone has suggested (and there has been much speculation on social media). I doubt that Amanda and Gina will ever publicly address their estrangement from Michelle though.

I wonder if it the estrangement has to do with the other two being upset with Michelle over her recent behavior and actions. Perhaps she remembers events different and this is causing a rift. I hope Michelle the learns to move on and heals from her experience.

ktgirl · Sep 9, 2014

I think it also could have a lot to do with the fact that Amanda and Gina had loving families to return to once they escaped. I think that Amanda and Gina's families may have been close or become close when the girls were missing as they searched for their missing loved ones. I think they knew each other and supported each other during that time, so it was natural for those families to stay in contact once the girls escaped, which may have facilitated Gina and Amanda seeming to be less estranged. Gina and Amanda are also closer in age.

Michelle was older & had no family (or at least not any that had looked for her or she wanted to reconnect with- and after reading her book I can't blame her for that). I think she really had to go out and find her own way and voice on her own to reclaim her life. I think she's now in the process of creating her own family with friends, etc. I think a large part of Michelle's recovery has been for her to "own" her story and have some power over it (as opposed to the media telling and re-telling it, in which she is cast as a victim and keeps being revictimized by Castro in a sense), whereas for the other girls, the first steps in their recoveries seem to be getting back to spend time with their families and they're now moving into the phase of owning/telling their stories on their terms.

I am really interested to read Amanda and Gina's book. Does anyone know if a release date for it has been announced yet?

Linda7NJ · Sep 9, 2014

ktgirl said:
I think it also could have a lot to do with the fact that Amanda and Gina had loving families to return to once they escaped. I think that Amanda and Gina's families may have been close or become close when the girls were missing as they searched for their missing loved ones. I think they knew each other and supported each other during that time, so it was natural for those families to stay in contact once the girls escaped, which may have facilitated Gina and Amanda seeming to be less estranged. Gina and Amanda are also closer in age.

Michelle was older & had no family (or at least not any that had looked for her or she wanted to reconnect with- and after reading her book I can't blame her for that). I think she really had to go out and find her own way and voice on her own to reclaim her life. I think she's now in the process of creating her own family with friends, etc. I think a large part of Michelle's recovery has been for her to "own" her story and have some power over it (as opposed to the media telling and re-telling it, in which she is cast as a victim and keeps being revictimized by Castro in a sense), whereas for the other girls, the first steps in their recoveries seem to be getting back to spend time with their families and they're now moving into the phase of owning/telling their stories on their terms.

I am really interested to read Amanda and Gina's book. Does anyone know if a release date for it has been announced yet?

I get where you're coming from ....but I honestly don't believe that's it.

I think....well...nevermind. It doesn't really matter what I think.
They're all victims and Michael probably had to do things to survive that the others didn't....things the others can't forgive. IMO

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Amanda Berry, Gina deJesus & Michelle Knight - General discussion #5

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