airportwoman
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Does anyone know if this guy EVER had a job?
I think it's also not clear if he was definitely playing video games or if the police collected the system and are still gathering information??It's not clear if he forgot the toddler, or if he left her sleeping or whatever.
Does anyone know if this guy EVER had a job?
Stay at home parent is a perfectly respectable thing to be. But to be one, one actually has to parent.Does anyone know if this guy EVER had a job?
Parenting was his job. However it seems he wasn’t too fussed about actually watching the children, choosing instead to play games. Nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent as long as you actually parent!Does anyone know if this guy EVER had a job?
The older children were interviewed by LE and said he was on his Play Station.I think it's also not clear if he was definitely playing video games or if the police collected the system and are still gathering information??
Yes, had he done the job well, there would be no shame in that at all, IMO.Does that really matter? Stay-at-home-parent was his current job.
He had a job - he was a stay-at-home parent.Does anyone know if this guy EVER had a job?
SBMIt's surreal, it seems like it was only a matter of time before tragedy. And that he failed in his responsibilities to his older child shows a pattern to me of what seems like callousness to the needs of young kids. And indifference to court orders, norms of behavior, etc. that tracks with blowing off his wife's safety concerns and the odd tone of "Sorry Babe!" re: a dead toddler.
Combined with the attempt to smear his current wife as "just as bad" re: leaving the kids in the car, which may be a complete lie, seems to be an undercurrent of resentment/hostility + escapism. In his shoes, if his wife DID do the same, it's not a defense to the murder charge, and I would be focused on trying to keep one parent for my remaining kids. I don't really get the strategy there. It seems more resentment based, not trying to do what he could to keep the situation for the remaining kids from getting even worse, or even thinking about the needs of the kids at all.SBM
Yes, agree, there was a pattern of apathy.
Sorry mods, point taken. My apologies.Combined with the attempt to smear his current wife as "just as bad" re: leaving the kids in the car, which may be a complete lie, seems to be an undercurrent of resentment/hostility + escapism. In his shoes, if his wife DID do the same, it's not a defense to the murder charge, and I would be focused on trying to keep one parent for my remaining kids. I don't really get the strategy there. It seems more resentment based, not trying to do what he could to keep the situation for the remaining kids from getting even worse, or even thinking about the needs of the kids at all.
<modsnip - referenced post was snipped> In the bond hearing the wife said she did not see the kids much. That may have been exaggerated, in the context, but I imagine her practice and being a professor involved long hours. JMMO. <modsnip - referenced post was snipped> like using a car for child containment for long stretches, repeatedly was "parenting." Not surprised he did not put that on their socials.
LE took the 1/2 full glass and Play Station but also a VR headset from the coffee table, there is a big escapism vibe IMOO. Few adults are gaming for hours midday on a weekday, especially with young kids whose lives have been deliberately put at risk relying on them. He seems quite off to me in his approach to life, safety, dependents, pushing the envelope (heat,<modsnip - referenced post was snipped>etc.) This case seems very different from a one off tragic mistake. IMOO.
Realize that you weren't specifically addressing me, but since I am one of the posters who said the mom should have sought additional or alternative childcare, I felt compelled to explain myself further regarding this.This is one of the worst cases of weaponised incompetence that I've ever heard of. And the thread is full of people asking why the wife didn't hire a babysitter if he was being negligent. I continue to insist that this is on him. He is a full adult, competent and non disabled. He knew the risks, didn't care, did it anyway.
MOO
It really doesn't matter what he was doing in his air conditioned home while his toddler sat dying in the driveway. He knew she was there and chose to leave her there for HOURS. It does make it more absurd if he was playing video games. He's no 'pillar of the community' so I am not sure why she is telling herself and the court that.I think it's also not clear if he was definitely playing video games or if the police collected the system and are still gathering information??
I'm not saying that the mother has no duty of care to her kids, not at all.Realize that you weren't specifically addressing me, but since I am one of the posters who said the mom should have sought additional or alternative childcare, I felt compelled to explain myself further regarding this.
My recognizing that mom also had some failures leading up to this incident is not meant to absolve dad of his responsibility in this, but rather to point out that this issue was not only preventable but foreseeable; a known on-going issue and my feeling is that mom doesn't just simply get a pass for her failure in her duty to also protect just because the person providing the habitually unsafe care was her husband rather than a daycare facility, nanny, babysitter, friend, ex, current boyfriend or stepdad.
If a parent is aware that their child is unsafe in someone's care, it is their duty to that child's safety and well-being to no longer leave that child in that person's care.
There were failures all around here. Mostly dad obviously, but just because dad is too self-absorbed, irresponsible and negligent to heed mom's many warnings to not use their car as a motorized babysitter and child containment area does not mean mom should have just thrown her hands up in irritation and said
"well, nothing I can do here to mitigate the situation and keep the kids safe"
If mom had no idea that dad had been doing this, my feelings would be VERY different. I wouldn't feel she had any failures- just a mom working hard to provide for her family not having any clue of the kind of "care" her husband was providing.
Sunk cost fallacy.It really doesn't matter what he was doing in his air conditioned home while his toddler sat dying in the driveway. He knew she was there and chose to leave her there for HOURS. It does make it more absurd if he was playing video games. He's no 'pillar of the community' so I am not sure why she is telling herself and the court that.
I think his "role" as SAH may have been related to his FC situation and not deriving solely from what was best for these 3 girls, JMOO, lots of extra dynamics in play. And I feel the same as you re: the mom's knowledge. I wonder if the exercise gear in the garage was supposed to be a "barrier" to continuing the pattern, but, he just then parked in direct sunlight in driveway and left Parker. So tragic.Realize that you weren't specifically addressing me, but since I am one of the posters who said the mom should have sought additional or alternative childcare, I felt compelled to explain myself further regarding this.
My recognizing that mom also had some failures leading up to this incident is not meant to absolve dad of his responsibility in this, but rather to point out that this issue was not only preventable but foreseeable; a known on-going issue and my feeling is that mom doesn't just simply get a pass for her failure in her duty to also protect just because the person providing the habitually unsafe care was her husband rather than a daycare facility, nanny, babysitter, friend, ex, current boyfriend or stepdad.
If a parent is aware that their child is unsafe in someone's care, it is their duty to that child's safety and well-being to no longer leave that child in that person's care.
There were failures all around here. Mostly dad obviously, but just because dad is too self-absorbed, irresponsible and negligent to heed mom's many warnings to not use their car as a motorized babysitter and child containment area does not mean mom should have just thrown her hands up in irritation and said
"well, nothing I can do here to mitigate the situation and keep the kids safe"
If mom had no idea that dad had been doing this, my feelings would be VERY different. I wouldn't feel she had any failures- just a mom working hard to provide for her family not having any clue of the kind of "care" her husband was providing.
Doubly unfortunate, publicity wise, that he is coupled forever with a "play station".It really doesn't matter what he was doing in his air conditioned home while his toddler sat dying in the driveway. He knew she was there and chose to leave her there for HOURS. It does make it more absurd if he was playing video games. He's no 'pillar of the community' so I am not sure why she is telling herself and the court that.