Arizona girl, 2, left in car by father on 109-degree day and is found dead

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If I had a video game addiction and young kids, I might get the gaming stuff out of the house or at least not have it on the coffee table in the living room. That they seized a half full glass to test makes me wonder how that tox screen will come back.

Since mom was concerned that he was repeatedly leaving the kids in the car in the garage, wonder if she thought the exercise equipment would be a constructive barrier to doing so? In direct sun on the driveway in AZ heat was his next go to. It's surreal, it seems like it was only a matter of time before tragedy. And that he failed in his responsibilities to his older child shows a pattern to me of what seems like callousness to the needs of young kids. And indifference to court orders, norms of behavior, etc. that tracks with blowing off his wife's safety concerns and the odd tone of "Sorry Babe!" re: a dead toddler. JMOO.

I'm also curious about the fairly recent sealed criminal case that comes up in court records. This guy has a lot of issues. JMOO. Would be interested to hear more about how he is a "pillar of the community" and what "community" that may be. MOO.
 
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LifeIsAMystery said:
It's surreal, it seems like it was only a matter of time before tragedy. And that he failed in his responsibilities to his older child shows a pattern to me of what seems like callousness to the needs of young kids. And indifference to court orders, norms of behavior, etc. that tracks with blowing off his wife's safety concerns and the odd tone of "Sorry Babe!" re: a dead toddler.
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SBM
Yes, agree, there was a pattern of apathy.
 
SMK777 said:
SBM
Yes, agree, there was a pattern of apathy.
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Combined with the attempt to smear his current wife as "just as bad" re: leaving the kids in the car, which may be a complete lie, seems to be an undercurrent of resentment/hostility + escapism. In his shoes, if his wife DID do the same, it's not a defense to the murder charge, and I would be focused on trying to keep one parent for my remaining kids. I don't really get the strategy there. It seems more resentment based, not trying to do what he could to keep the situation for the remaining kids from getting even worse, or even thinking about the needs of the kids at all.

<modsnip - referenced post was snipped> In the bond hearing the wife said she did not see the kids much. That may have been exaggerated, in the context, but I imagine her practice and being a professor involved long hours. JMMO. <modsnip - referenced post was snipped> like using a car for child containment for long stretches, repeatedly was "parenting." Not surprised he did not put that on their socials.

LE took the 1/2 full glass and Play Station but also a VR headset from the coffee table, there is a big escapism vibe IMOO. Few adults are gaming for hours midday on a weekday, especially with young kids whose lives have been deliberately put at risk relying on them. He seems quite off to me in his approach to life, safety, dependents, pushing the envelope (heat,<modsnip - referenced post was snipped>etc.) This case seems very different from a one off tragic mistake. IMOO.
 
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LifeIsAMystery said:
Combined with the attempt to smear his current wife as "just as bad" re: leaving the kids in the car, which may be a complete lie, seems to be an undercurrent of resentment/hostility + escapism. In his shoes, if his wife DID do the same, it's not a defense to the murder charge, and I would be focused on trying to keep one parent for my remaining kids. I don't really get the strategy there. It seems more resentment based, not trying to do what he could to keep the situation for the remaining kids from getting even worse, or even thinking about the needs of the kids at all.

<modsnip - referenced post was snipped> In the bond hearing the wife said she did not see the kids much. That may have been exaggerated, in the context, but I imagine her practice and being a professor involved long hours. JMMO. <modsnip - referenced post was snipped> like using a car for child containment for long stretches, repeatedly was "parenting." Not surprised he did not put that on their socials.

LE took the 1/2 full glass and Play Station but also a VR headset from the coffee table, there is a big escapism vibe IMOO. Few adults are gaming for hours midday on a weekday, especially with young kids whose lives have been deliberately put at risk relying on them. He seems quite off to me in his approach to life, safety, dependents, pushing the envelope (heat,<modsnip - referenced post was snipped>etc.) This case seems very different from a one off tragic mistake. IMOO.
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Sorry mods, point taken. My apologies.
 
iamshadow21 said:
This is one of the worst cases of weaponised incompetence that I've ever heard of. And the thread is full of people asking why the wife didn't hire a babysitter if he was being negligent. I continue to insist that this is on him. He is a full adult, competent and non disabled. He knew the risks, didn't care, did it anyway.

MOO
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Realize that you weren't specifically addressing me, but since I am one of the posters who said the mom should have sought additional or alternative childcare, I felt compelled to explain myself further regarding this.

My recognizing that mom also had some failures leading up to this incident is not meant to absolve dad of his responsibility in this, but rather to point out that this issue was not only preventable but foreseeable; a known on-going issue and my feeling is that mom doesn't just simply get a pass for her failure in her duty to also protect just because the person providing the habitually unsafe care was her husband rather than a daycare facility, nanny, babysitter, friend, ex, current boyfriend or stepdad.

If a parent is aware that their child is unsafe in someone's care, it is their duty to that child's safety and well-being to no longer leave that child in that person's care.

There were failures all around here. Mostly dad obviously, but just because dad is too self-absorbed, irresponsible and negligent to heed mom's many warnings to not use their car as a motorized babysitter and child containment area does not mean mom should have just thrown her hands up in irritation and said
"well, nothing I can do here to mitigate the situation and keep the kids safe"

If mom had no idea that dad had been doing this, my feelings would be VERY different. I wouldn't feel she had any failures- just a mom working hard to provide for her family not having any clue of the kind of "care" her husband was providing.
 
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GoBuckeyes said:
I think it's also not clear if he was definitely playing video games or if the police collected the system and are still gathering information??
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It really doesn't matter what he was doing in his air conditioned home while his toddler sat dying in the driveway. He knew she was there and chose to leave her there for HOURS. It does make it more absurd if he was playing video games. He's no 'pillar of the community' so I am not sure why she is telling herself and the court that.
 
MissMalowe said:
Realize that you weren't specifically addressing me, but since I am one of the posters who said the mom should have sought additional or alternative childcare, I felt compelled to explain myself further regarding this.

My recognizing that mom also had some failures leading up to this incident is not meant to absolve dad of his responsibility in this, but rather to point out that this issue was not only preventable but foreseeable; a known on-going issue and my feeling is that mom doesn't just simply get a pass for her failure in her duty to also protect just because the person providing the habitually unsafe care was her husband rather than a daycare facility, nanny, babysitter, friend, ex, current boyfriend or stepdad.

If a parent is aware that their child is unsafe in someone's care, it is their duty to that child's safety and well-being to no longer leave that child in that person's care.

There were failures all around here. Mostly dad obviously, but just because dad is too self-absorbed, irresponsible and negligent to heed mom's many warnings to not use their car as a motorized babysitter and child containment area does not mean mom should have just thrown her hands up in irritation and said
"well, nothing I can do here to mitigate the situation and keep the kids safe"

If mom had no idea that dad had been doing this, my feelings would be VERY different. I wouldn't feel she had any failures- just a mom working hard to provide for her family not having any clue of the kind of "care" her husband was providing.
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I'm not saying that the mother has no duty of care to her kids, not at all.

But I am concerned that this woman is the sole breadwinner, is by her own admission barely home, barely sees her kids, is likely overworked, has repeatedly admonished him for this behaviour... and we're criticising HER behaviour. I worry about the gendered implications of that.

MOO
 
KMouse said:
It really doesn't matter what he was doing in his air conditioned home while his toddler sat dying in the driveway. He knew she was there and chose to leave her there for HOURS. It does make it more absurd if he was playing video games. He's no 'pillar of the community' so I am not sure why she is telling herself and the court that.
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Sunk cost fallacy.

If she confronts the fact that he's a deadbeat loser who doesn't care about her or their children, then her baby died for nothing. And she most likely literally cannot comprehend that right now. All she's probably thinking is that she's lost one of her family already, she can't lose two.

MOO
 
MissMalowe said:
Realize that you weren't specifically addressing me, but since I am one of the posters who said the mom should have sought additional or alternative childcare, I felt compelled to explain myself further regarding this.

My recognizing that mom also had some failures leading up to this incident is not meant to absolve dad of his responsibility in this, but rather to point out that this issue was not only preventable but foreseeable; a known on-going issue and my feeling is that mom doesn't just simply get a pass for her failure in her duty to also protect just because the person providing the habitually unsafe care was her husband rather than a daycare facility, nanny, babysitter, friend, ex, current boyfriend or stepdad.

If a parent is aware that their child is unsafe in someone's care, it is their duty to that child's safety and well-being to no longer leave that child in that person's care.

There were failures all around here. Mostly dad obviously, but just because dad is too self-absorbed, irresponsible and negligent to heed mom's many warnings to not use their car as a motorized babysitter and child containment area does not mean mom should have just thrown her hands up in irritation and said
"well, nothing I can do here to mitigate the situation and keep the kids safe"

If mom had no idea that dad had been doing this, my feelings would be VERY different. I wouldn't feel she had any failures- just a mom working hard to provide for her family not having any clue of the kind of "care" her husband was providing.
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I think his "role" as SAH may have been related to his FC situation and not deriving solely from what was best for these 3 girls, JMOO, lots of extra dynamics in play. And I feel the same as you re: the mom's knowledge. I wonder if the exercise gear in the garage was supposed to be a "barrier" to continuing the pattern, but, he just then parked in direct sunlight in driveway and left Parker. So tragic.
 
KMouse said:
It really doesn't matter what he was doing in his air conditioned home while his toddler sat dying in the driveway. He knew she was there and chose to leave her there for HOURS. It does make it more absurd if he was playing video games. He's no 'pillar of the community' so I am not sure why she is telling herself and the court that.
Click to expand...
Doubly unfortunate, publicity wise, that he is coupled forever with a "play station".

My last gaming was, ahem, pac man last century, so maybe play station is an adult outlet, not really aimed at kids(?).

I wonder more about his possible grown up use of the internet. Maybe he wanted to make absolutely sure the kids wouldn't peer over his shoulders at awkward moments. Thus lock em in the car for awhile.

Imo!!
 
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