ARREST!!! Australia - Allison Baden-Clay, Brisbane QLD, 19 April 2012 -#23

[Bayside]

I was thinking that maybe her original clothes may have his blood on them? So IMO and purely speculation on my part, he may have got rid of them?

I think so too.

 

[Kimster]

Please don't post things that are making fun of any of the players in this case. It's against our rules on Websleuths.

:tyou:

 

[The Dark Shadow]

I understand what you are saying and I bet they will want to see him at stages when they are older. I just dont think they should be forced to go to keep him happy.

My father was accused of killing my mother but not charged as there was not enough evidence, her body was never found so that made it more difficult. He did the "she went for a walk and never came home " line too.

Anyway we were forced to stay with him until my grandmother stepped in. Now I remember this man being cruel, abusive and full of hate, evil man.

When I was older I did want some contact with him, dont know why but I did. It did not end well but I gave it a go. I have hated this man for as long as I can remember, to the point of it making me very bitter.

I avoided all family events where I knew he would be. Anyway when I had kids they didnt have any grandparents and I felt guilty about that esp as he lived a 15 min drive away. I did not tell my young children about my history with him.

I took them to a family event where he was and they met him and did this more often so they had a chance to know him. Over time I watched him carefully with my kids and I can honestly say that he really loved them. He ended up being a wonderful grandfather and my kids loved him.

We had a falling out about ten years ago and I have only spoken to him once at my brothers funeral, real awkward then again I ran into him on Mothers Day visiting my Nan. When my daughter had children she asked me would I be upset if she contacted him and let him see her kids. To be honest I felt betrayed as now an adult she knew what he did and still wanted to see him, double standards I know. Of course I told her it didnt bother me but it bothered me very single time haha. When she would talk about him I said I dont want to hear about him.

Anyway my daughter sees him often and he is a big part of her childrens life, he has taken them all over the world on holidays. When I saw him with them I again saw the deep love I saw when he was with my kids.

Funny thing is he is visiting my daughter in the morning and she wants me to come and bring my other two kids as he hasnt seen them in 10 years. I dont know if I will go, this case had made old feelings come up again for me so I will see.

It is probably about time to just forgive him and let it go.

Bayside, you are a stronger person than I, my friend :hug:

 

[justice23]

WHAT!! Oh no! I was feeling so relieved and thankful that the Dickies had custody of the girls. I hope these 'further arrangements' will extend their cusody indefinitely.

Alison Sandy said the Dickies will be applying for full custody on the video

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/...aden-clay-arrest/story-e6freoof-1226397139787

 

[Bayside]

:grouphug:

forgiveness is very complicated, every person deals with things in their own way. I think it is okay to not forgive someone who has hurt you, of course it will be great if we could forgive them and move on! but it is sooo personal and everyone deals with grief differently...

i envy people who can forgive someone who has hurt them deeply, but its ok for those of us that find it difficult to do so.

Forgiving isnt supposed to say that what they did was ok but more about letting it go for your own good.

I hear it is supposed to feel good but I am not quite there yet lol.

 

[Bayside]

Alison Sandy said the Dickies will be applying for full custody on the video

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/...aden-clay-arrest/story-e6freoof-1226397139787

Wonderful, I thought they might end up with Allisons sister.

 

[Southside Mum]

Another well written article by Madonna King - a tear jerker.

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/opinion/pain-too-big-for-young-ones/story-e6frerdf-1226397120098

 

[Curiousasacat]

Ok so what I have gathered from your posts last night.
Thursday timeline.(all based as rumours)
Olivia and Gerard take girls to school?
Gerard goes to chemist?
Gerard attends girls cross country with scratches and blood shot eyes?
Allison picks up girls from school,speaks to a mother who ends up making a statement?
Allison goes to hairdresser?
Gerard goes to bed at 10pm while Allison is watching footie show?(started at 1010pm)
ALLISON IS MURDERED (ONLY FACT)
730am Gerard calls police to advise his wife is missing.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EDIT AND ADD TO THE ABOVE IF YOU LIKE.

I am still reading so some could be irrelevant.

In the early days I had read someone's comment on facebook that this guys friend was the last to see Allison, she was a consultant at the real estate and was the one being interviewed by police. Unfortunately I have looked really hard for this comment to no avail.

So perhaps another rumour to add is that Allison worked at Century 21 that day.

EDIT: Yes. Found the comment. It is not fact,it was on someone's facebook but will not add their name.

"RIP Allison Baden-Clay the truth will come out but your kids are the one's that suffer the most. What are your thoughts, I think the husband who had an affair is responsible."

Someone asked "How do you know he was having an affair?" -
A different person then replied-
"The media stated that police interviewed a woman for hours who it was believed worked for him. The media sensationalised it - who'd have thought. Fact is the Police interviewed a female who worked for a friend of mine for a few hours that afternoon as she was consulting to the business and was the last to see her. Not saying he wasn't but remember it's just as possible she was. You are certainly right that these 3 young girls must be going through unspeakable sadness and it doesn't look like it's going to get better for them. "

 

[Makara]

Seeking, if you are not a writer, you should be! Another beautiful, yet heartbreaking post.

I am the child of a criminal, my mother. She has been in and out of prison (long term, 3-5yrs, each time) since i was about 7 years old, due to a heroin addiction and its associated crimes.

Thankfully, in my case, i had a wonderful Dad, who made up for my mothers complete emotional destruction by being eveything my siblings and i needed. He has since passed away, and on the day i lost him, i felt like i lost both of my parents.

As a child, until about the age of 15, i desperately clung to the hope that my mother would stop being the neglectful, spiteful, lieing, sneaky, self-centred and psychopathic person that she was, and miraculously turn into the type of mother that all of my friends had. Even at my young age, I knew that she had made the choice to hurt us, i knew that she was responsible for breaking my Dad's heart, my heart and my siblings hearts, yet, i remember at times that i would beg my Dad to get back together with her, in the hope of having a complete, happy family.

So yes, in my case, i did still want to see the parent who had destroyed all of our lives, even with the elementary understanding i had.

As i grew older, wiser and more aware of what we actually had to endure as a result of my mother choosing drugs over us, i began to resent her, and now, unfortunately, i feel almost nothing towards her. She has only seen one of my children, and i intend to keep it that way. I have no idea how i would feel if anything ever happened to her, or how i will react when she finally succumbs to the ill-health that is the result of her 'alternative' lifestyle. It's just sad, really!

Has it effected my adulthood? Absolutely! on the negative side, I have OCD, agoraphobia (both mild) and had a drinking problem when i was younger. In the middle ground, I am a paranoid wreck when it comes to protecting my own children... completely smother them with love I have to let them know how much i love them regularly, or i panic. They will be absolutely horrified when i embarrass them as teens, lol, but of course, this is also a good thing, as they know i am always there for them, and will love them unconditionally. On the absolutely positive side, i am a criminologist because of my experience, i am extremely empathetic (almosty to a fault), and i feel a strong social responsibility to fight for children's rights :heartbeat::scale:

I am sorry for the huge post. I started writing and it just all came billowing out :blushing:. Anyway, just my 2c, and all my personal opinion in order to highlight the experiences of a child with a rotten parent.

A big hug for you Dark Shadow. :hug: What I'm noticing here with various members revealing their childhood and domestic experiences, is that with all of the negatives they've experienced in their lives, there has come to pass a whole lot more positives from their terrible experiences. I personally revel in the positives I've found.

 

[Blue Bottle]

Anyway, just my 2c, and all my personal opinion in order to highlight the experiences of a child with a rotten parent.

Maybe one day when Allison's girls are older they may come across these posts and other similar posts and blogs which may be helpful towards a self healing. A gift.

Probably getting a bit off topic now, but your story about your mum promts me to post this poem for people who have family who won't help themselves because of alcohol, drugs and other addictions and are trying to find a way to forgive. Like bayside said in a previous post, forgiveness is more about letting it go for your own good, though I do think that everyone comes to terms with their 'rotten' parent(s) in their own way.


I forgive you

I forgive you for not loving yourself
I forgive you for losing your way
I forgive you for what you have lost
I forgive you for not getting well
I forgive you for trying to fill what is empty inside
I forgive you for allowing your suffering to hurt
I forgive you for the pain and rage you are unable to hear
I forgive you for not looking within yourself

And I love you.
And it's ok.
And though you do not know it, you have given me a gift, while at the same time, you are unable to see yours

 

[spratsmum]

I think at some stage the girls will see their Dad. Particularly the older girl, will need to some answers to the demons she will encounter in the years ahead.

Love is a very strong emotion and very selective. She will at some stage see the good in him and depending on those around her, may even build some false opinions.

Those little girls should have lots of years ahead of them, they will need at some time to come to grips with what has happened to them.

 

[Watsonian Institute]

The reference in the Courier Mail regarding "no further arrests" does not make sense in light of the previous interest in the two cars ...

... I've just spent the past hour searching for the posts (this thread and particularly the last) that I read last night/this morning and I can't find them. I know that I read numerous posts about no more arrests will be made (links and all) and posters discussing this! .

Prior to Channel 10 (or whichever channel it was) saying no more people would be charged.....YES. But now, who knows.

... ie that nobody else would be charged ...

I was here yesterday and last night, read all the previous thread and this one, and the first I heard of "no more arrest" was this evening. I don't believe it was mentioned yesterday or this morning at all.

Hawkins, who, based on each of their posts throughout this forum appears to have knowledge of police procedures, posted something in Thread 17 (Post #259) that may be extremely interesting in relation to this.

Sorry I can't quote it - it's in another thread (obviously :doh. It's a bit tedious to look :waiting:, but perhaps worth it.

Cheers

 

[Ferris]

Ferris, how did your wife come to meet OW at the school on that morning? Was she introduced to her or did she already know her?

My wife saw her waiting and OW asked what time the races started, they got chatting and during the course of that conversation OW said something about waiting for GBC. Wife did not know OW prior.

 

[Aunty]

This is exactly how I feel about the whole thing. For Allison's girls, this is the worst possible outcome that could have come from this set of circumstances. To lose such a loving mother so early in life, and then face years of agony of coming to terms with the truth about their father...

Grannie ,
Where have you been? I missed you :fence:
The news must have been a shock to you . :what:
What are your thoughts now about what happened? X

 

[ellou]

Seeking, if you are not a writer, you should be! Another beautiful, yet heartbreaking post.

I am the child of a criminal, my mother. She has been in and out of prison (long term, 3-5yrs, each time) since i was about 7 years old, due to a heroin addiction and its associated crimes.

Thankfully, in my case, i had a wonderful Dad, who made up for my mothers complete emotional destruction by being eveything my siblings and i needed. He has since passed away, and on the day i lost him, i felt like i lost both of my parents.

As a child, until about the age of 15, i desperately clung to the hope that my mother would stop being the neglectful, spiteful, lieing, sneaky, self-centred and psychopathic person that she was, and miraculously turn into the type of mother that all of my friends had. Even at my young age, I knew that she had made the choice to hurt us, i knew that she was responsible for breaking my Dad's heart, my heart and my siblings hearts, yet, i remember at times that i would beg my Dad to get back together with her, in the hope of having a complete, happy family.

So yes, in my case, i did still want to see the parent who had destroyed all of our lives, even with the elementary understanding i had.

As i grew older, wiser and more aware of what we actually had to endure as a result of my mother choosing drugs over us, i began to resent her, and now, unfortunately, i feel almost nothing towards her. She has only seen one of my children, and i intend to keep it that way. I have no idea how i would feel if anything ever happened to her, or how i will react when she finally succumbs to the ill-health that is the result of her 'alternative' lifestyle. It's just sad, really!

Has it effected my adulthood? Absolutely! on the negative side, I have OCD, agoraphobia (both mild) and had a drinking problem when i was younger. In the middle ground, I am a paranoid wreck when it comes to protecting my own children... completely smother them with love I have to let them know how much i love them regularly, or i panic. They will be absolutely horrified when i embarrass them as teens, lol, but of course, this is also a good thing, as they know i am always there for them, and will love them unconditionally. On the absolutely positive side, i am a criminologist because of my experience, i am extremely empathetic (almosty to a fault), and i feel a strong social responsibility to fight for children's rights :heartbeat::scale:

I am sorry for the huge post. I started writing and it just all came billowing out :blushing:. Anyway, just my 2c, and all my personal opinion in order to highlight the experiences of a child with a rotten parent.

Thank you for sharing,I can so relate too your story,I have a story so similar too yours.Unfortunatley,for many here it opens up old wounds.We are still the broken child ,all grown up,still caring pain within.
Hey ,don't ever ,ever beat your self up..I use too ,all the time !I have my little funny ways, I'm OCD,I have had addictions,I over protect my four children,I smother them with love,oh I apparently over mother!!! My shrink says thats because ,I make up for my lack of mothering.
Would rather over mother,than never being there for them ,and always let them know they are ,what makes me be that better person.
It can be a times so painful,yet what I have found is ,once you grip the bull by the horns , acknowledge the terrible things that , you have indured as a child,life can be joyful.I no longer blame myself,thinking I was unlovable, and the reason my Mum was the way she was.
You know the other thing ,whats strange ,I married a man that was just like her.Stayed for 22yrs,then the penny dropped.I tried too take my life,him telling me it all your fault ,You turned me into this.Pigs arse I did.I left him ,of course.Since then I haven't looked back.
I still,have love,for my Mum,even though ,she has now passed,she took her life ,a month to the day after my darling father passed.I am still angry,that she did when myself and my children were with her,thats Mum,always had the final say...
I felt saddened after reading your post,just wanted too let you know ,your not alone,YOU TAKE CARE MY FRIEND

 

[ellou]

Maybe one day when Allison's girls are older they may come across these posts and other similar posts and blogs which may be helpful towards a self healing. A gift.

Probably getting a bit off topic now, but your story about your mum promts me to post this poem for people who have family who won't help themselves because of alcohol, drugs and other addictions and are trying to find a way to forgive. Like bayside said in a previous post, forgiveness is more about letting it go for your own good, though I do think that everyone comes to terms with their 'rotten' parent(s) in their own way.


I forgive you

I forgive you for not loving yourself
I forgive you for losing your way
I forgive you for what you have lost
I forgive you for not getting well
I forgive you for trying to fill what is empty inside
I forgive you for allowing your suffering to hurt
I forgive you for the pain and rage you are unable to hear
I forgive you for not looking within yourself

And I love you.
And it's ok.
And though you do not know it, you have given me a gift, while at the same time, you are unable to see yours

What a lovely poem...I have been feeling so sad ,You have just helped me ,today is a new day,Thank you

 

[plentyofnous]

Yes because he is not booked in at the Hilton.

Just because they might be used to getting what they want when they demand it doesnt work like that.

Even tho this isnt law I think if you kill the childrens mother you should lose the right to have visits from your children. The girls will be old enough when he gets out to make that choice.

It should be remembered he is only accused of murder at this stage and treated accordingly. Thats what a remand centre is for. It is interesting how his privacy and rights seem to have flown out the window as if he has been convicted already, must be plenty of loose tongues wagging at remand centre.

 

[Greg]

My wife saw her waiting and OW asked what time the races started, they got chatting and during the course of that conversation OW said something about waiting for GBC. Wife did not know OW prior.

OW and G just hangin out together on this fateful day.

 

[Sleuther111]

Has anyone considered the thought the senior BC's may have rolled over on GBC to save themselves, they have said that there are no further arrests planned.. IMO

 

[bellgirl]

This article also states: "It's understood there won't be any further arrests"

Good work CaseClosed! Thank you for this link.