e.l.l.a
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I feel as though this is a part of the problem though (for people to think of things the way you did in your post, E.l.la) . If Tia, and other children like Tia, are only destined to go on to lead a terrible life, then there is no point in trying to make a difference. If that is the sum of her value, then what is the point of looking for her if she goes missing, or trying to find the person responsible for her death?
No, I have been misunderstood (and that's okay). My sentiments are meant to be a COPING MECHANISM for those left behind. NOT as a way to treat Tiah (or others like her) when they are alive. So yes, There is PLENTY of point (in looking for missing children like her). There is point in looking for her because she is young, vulnerable and needs help. Standing back and not helping someone in trouble is abhorrent.
[with your sentiments then....] What is the point of a care system? Why bother trying to help any child in trouble?
Because children need help? The think I hate most in this world is SUFFERING. The care system is needed to give the best chance to those who need it. It is our duty of care to help our young, - to help anyone.
And further to this, when kids in care hear sentiments like this (as unfortunately they very often do) it only reinforces to them that they are not valued and should never bother trying for something more.
Well I'd never express sentiments like this except to older mature adults. And second, my sentiments are misunderstood as I don't mean to say she is not valued, - if she were alive, she is most definitely valued, and everything should be done to assist her in moulding her life to be a functional and happy one. But once she is dead, my focus is on reducing suffering for those who remain left behind (as Tiah's suffering is already ended). My focus and issue is ALWAYS with suffering and reducing suffering everywhere for humans. So rationalising that it *might* have been small mercy that her suffering was CAPPED at age 12, and not continued...is a way to relieve suffering in ones heart.
I have known many children in Tia's situation, and these children are amazing children, courageous children, beautiful children, children with dreams, children who somehow manage to survive all of the awful things that happen to them. Of course, they don't have it fair -- they are "labelled", they lose over and over, they carry the scars of their abuse forever. Now some of them will go on to function well in adult life. Some won't. But Tia will never find out, because someone stole that from her.
Agreed. Wholeheartedly.
I understand what you mean and empathise with it. I think we can all feel helpless. But there are a lot of things people can do. Become a foster carer. Join a program that supports at risk children. Teach your own children to be kind and accepting to their peers who are "different". Speak up when foster children are labelled as "feral". Help that struggling mum down the street. Report child abuse and domestic violence to authorities.
Most definitely. And I try to do this, in whatever capacity I can. My sentiment was never to do LESS towards children like this because they are "less than perfect". If anything, the urge is to do MORE. But once they have died, I try to look at the positives in order to reduce suffering to myself and any others left behind.
It is as though Tia mattered less because she was in foster care and the community expects that Tia and children like her will always be at risk. But Tia shouldn't matter less to us for being in care. She should matter more.
It seems that way, and that is why overhauls to the system have now been called. I'm not sure though if it's truly that she "mattered less" in the police's eyes. If so, they wouldn't be continuing with the investigation in the way they are now. I think it has to do with problems in legalities and privacy <modsnip> with all Foster Carers, and also the issue of if someone is a repeated runaway, then it makes sense to wait a few days before enacting a full response (this is purely because of resources, and is understandable for the police with their full schedule).
Anyway, I think Tiah's case can help us improve responses and protocols in future. This, at least, is something she has enabled and is a something good that can come of it.