Ontario Mom
stay safe ♥ be kind
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In an effort to pin down this slithering timeline:
RF to 911:
The last time they saw Bella was allegedly 60-90 minutes prior to the 911 call at 1:18am. This means they left the house to go to Walmart between 11:45-12:15
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Bella's sister has been reported as last seeing Bella at about 11:30, with JR (which means yes, TG and RF did know JR was still there)
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TG to the media:
After they got the call notifying them Bella was missing, they came home and searched for over 40 minutes before calling 911 at 1:18. This means they were home, allegedly, before 12:40?
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TG's cousin states she left TG's home at 11:04 and less than an hour later, gets a call saying Bella is missing (so just before midnight). Who called her?
These time statements seem to me, to point at one thing, assuming that is, they're all factual statements (and I realize this is a stretch). TG, RF and JR seemed to have all left the house, and Bella went missing ALL around the SAME time.
Now we're reading "Rector bragged on Facebook posts about being questioned about the missing child then being released, but it was later mentioned that he was released only because he was using being with the mother of the child as his alibi." http://www.vvng.com/arrest-made-for-kidnapping-and-murder-of-bella/
If I'm missing something, someone please point it out?
I know LE has the video of him shoplifting at Walmart, but I'd sure love to know what that time stamp says.
It turns out TG did NOT leave her children alone with only JJR downstairs and a sleeping GM upstairs.
We now know (as per the cousin in an interview) at least TG's cousin and the cousin's daughter were also with TG's girls that evening, still at TG's house while TG and RF and whomever else left the house to go to Wal-Mart. It was after when the cousin and her daughter had left the house (and maybe whomever else had already left or maybe no one else was there) and Isabella's sister had taken a bathroom break that JJR kidnapped Isabella.
The cousin and her daughter left TG's house @ 11:04 PM. Less than one hour later the cousin received a phone call (from whom is unknown) informing her that Isabella had gone missing. I'm guessing they also asked the cousin, "Do you have Isabella?" (speculation).
This mother lost her child at the hands of a long-time family friend. A family friend who had known Isabella all her life. Eight years. Something unexpectedly snapped in that freak. Isabella was murdered. And a mother is grieving.
Isabella, by ALL accounts, was a happy, fun-loving, generous child. Everybody loved Isabella, including her grieving mother. And guess who had raised Isabella to be the child she had become? Tania Grogan.
Yes, it is not all about TG. It is about Isabella. Well, Isabella is passed, and TG is less one beautiful child. And her pain is real. Her shock is real. See my earlier post regarding TG and 'self-pity'. It still applies.
Of course, TG should have not have opened her home to JJR. But, given JJR was a long-time family friend, a friend for at least eight years. Isabella's entire lifetime. A friend who had babysat TG's children without reported incident. A long-time family friend who was just out of rehab and needed a place to couch surf. Yes, the safety of her children should have taken priority, and maybe in her eyes that was the case: at least we know in this instance TG did NOT leave her children alone with JJR. Did TG expect to be home from Wal-Mart before the cousin-and-daughter left the house, never expecting that her own children would be left alone with JJR?
I can not imagine the shock TG felt when she learned who had murdered her child.
JJR is the sick freak, and TG made a tragic mistake that many others could have made given similar circumstances (and some might argue they would NOT have made that mistake because of the circumstances, and with that I would agree).
Accept the truth.
SilkySifaka, thank you for posing such an insightful and spot-on commentary. I agree with every word. It is a shame so many people are unable to see past their anger or hatred or past their own pain. These cases are difficult for everyone.
Tania's version of events has changed numerous times, seeming to be in response to the criticism she has read about her parenting (or lack thereof).
She has changed or embellished the story to attempt to show that she didn't leave the kids knowingly with JR ("we didn't even know he was here"), to say the odd late night Walmart run was to get snacks for the kids' school lunches, and now to make it appear Bella was actually in bed where she should have been at that time on a school night.
Since she really doesn't understand how to be a parent, she is picking up her cues from the things people are saying. In her world, the circumstances of that night were normal.
I always want to ask God why these innocent children are taken too soon. Lately, after reading about Bella, Jenise, Cherish, the 5 kids from SC killed by their drug addict father...I think the answer is that God is removing these kids from having to endure ongoing suffering here on earth.
I want to say something in defense of Tania. We all trust the friends and family we have in our circle. They may have flaws but we wouldn't be friends if they were bad people so ipso facto they are good people unless proven otherwise...and what it says about our own judgement is not going to be accepted unless there is proof. In her case the flaws are drugs and alcohol but she still has friends and she isn't going to think badly of them because they are much like her.
Thats normal. One difference is that i doubt very much she would have even known how to look up a criminal record of someone let alone think of doing it. It is like the safe harbor laws for infants. 3/4 if the people who need to know about it don't while most of the people who don't need it do...because the different circumstances, teens that don't watch the news etc. etc. So the babies get dumped, abandoned or killed.
IMO if you had asked Tania if JRR could have abused and killed a child before this happened the answer would likely have been hell no, i would never let someone like that around my daughters. And ChuckMaureen is right drugs do not make someone a pedophile or murderer of children. So to her, she knew him for a long time, he seemed perfectly rformal for her group or circle of acquaintances and this imo has been a complete shock to her.
I don't think she is handling it right at all but I am not in her shoes and can only believe that grief and shock have been walled up behind thick defenses.
I think Tania is totally tone deaf. She just doesn't quite get normal reactions. Could be how she was brought up, could be drugs, could be a mental disorder.
I mean it is one thing to think that sort of thing, another to say it as if it is perfectly normal to the public. She obviously has a disconnect. Lets be honest, she isn't the first person who in a tragedy has put some of the blame on the victim because she can't handle blaming herself. It isn't that unusual, parents do it all the time when a child has scared the *#*) out of them and first its relief that something bad didn't happen and then anger they placed themselves in danger by running away or climbing the cupboards to get the cookies etc. when they could have tumbled.
I am NOT saying that natural reaction of parents is what Tania is doing but hers is the extreme end of it. And i have seen people blame tragedies on the victims, such as if only she hadn't gone to that bar or if only she had stayed in to do homework or if only she hadn't had those drinks and driven. (ok that one is more understandable).
I THINK Tania means it as if only Bella had stayed in bed .. with no realization that it probably would have happened anyway and if only she hadn't let the creep around her it wouldn't have.
She just doesn't get it. She doesn't see it, she is unable to react appropriately. Which leaves me with some sympathy for her because I do think she is grieving but has totally put up walls to protect herself from the pain.
Exactly... And since some of her friends/acquaintances in her inner circle have some very serious proven gang ties - one was even shot dead murdered a few years ago - what does that say about how much she valued her children's safety? One would have thought precautions and lifestyle changes would have been made after that. Just sayin...
As far as looking up someone's criminal record, she wouldn't have needed to do that if she was aware of their misgivings during the times of their crimes/incarcerations.
I saw red last night after the latest interview and had to sign off or be banned for life ! This "Woman" is unbelievable IMO ! I just hope when all the dust is settled , EVERYONE involved gets what they deserve and Bella gets justice ! She sees nothing wrong with her actions or life style that is a direct cause of her daughter demise. I was so happy Bella's beautiful day was not ruined by any fights ,outbursts or shootings then this last interview comes out SMH !
I feel the need to preface this with the fact that I am NOT defending TG. I believe that your children come first, period. (And I say this as a recovered addict addicted to narcotics while I had small children. Thank GOD I never lost my mind. There but for the grace of God go I.)
Having said all of that, I'm a huge believer that we are products of our environments. If TGs mom that was never a mom lived a similar lifestyle, why would TG think to give her own daughters a better life? On the flip side I also believe that, as an adult, there comes a time to accept responsibility for your life/actions/ feelings and stop the blame game. Only I can create the life I desire...my past does not have to define that. My heart bleeds for that sweet 10 year old sister. I have seen video of her where she looks deeply sad and her eyes are void the sparkle most kids have. I am grateful she has a gramma like SW and hope she can break this vicious cycle.
Krystine, if I had that answer I certainly would not be wasting time on Websleuths. I would be pounding the street implementing the genius plan designed to cure everyone from all addictive behavior. :nurse:
On a serious note, too many people simply ignore the situation because they do not have an answer or an idea. To date, intervention with follow-up is the only methodology on which I would rely, beyond the addicted person's own decision to seek help by their own accord and stick with it.
I have lead a few interventions back in the day, and the initial confrontations were never pretty. Those involved must be prepared to see the person they've known for many year become an entirely different person, a stranger who will fight you, try to verbally and physically hurt you, try to escape, destroy property, become sick. Refuse refuse refuse. Deny deny deny. "Why are you doing this to me??!!! Leave me alone!!" The experiences are extremely draining but I had always relied on this belief: the amount of work required is equivalent to the value of the reward, which in most cases is the very life of the person being saved.
The felon has been in Bella's life for years and he never killed her before is hardly a justification for him being there. Jenise's parents had neglected her for years too and now she's dead as well.
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I feel the need to preface this with the fact that I am NOT defending TG. I believe that your children come first, period. (And I say this as a recovered addict addicted to narcotics while I had small children. Thank GOD I never lost my mind. There but for the grace of God go I.)
Having said all of that, I'm a huge believer that we are products of our environments. If TGs mom that was never a mom lived a similar lifestyle, why would TG think to give her own daughters a better life? On the flip side I also believe that, as an adult, there comes a time to accept responsibility for your life/actions/ feelings and stop the blame game. Only I can create the life I desire...my past does not have to define that. My heart bleeds for that sweet 10 year old sister. I have seen video of her where she looks deeply sad and her eyes are void the sparkle most kids have. I am grateful she has a gramma like SW and hope she can break this vicious cycle.
Yes, but they are most difficult for those that don't see them self in Tania and know they wouldn't have made the choices she did.
bbm
If you are disputing as to what level of behavior of a person should be a trigger for a someone to want to disallow that person from ever again infiltrating their life, then it must be observed in perspective. Not our own perspective, but on the perspective of the someone whose lifestyle and life experiences they use as bellwethers to dictate who they allow in to their inner circle.
A firefighter might be more inclined to allowing other firefighters in to his or her inner circle.
A drug abuser might be more inclined to allowing other drug abusers in to his or her inner circle.
So goes TG. And as far as we know, JJR does not have a history of doing things that would appear to be so out of sorts to what TG might be accustomed to witnessing from others within her own or her friends inner circle.
BBM - I thought SW was TG's mom from the previous reports