Jerice' childhood and family growing up, was just one big simmering caldron of dysfunction. If what Jerice states is true, I feel sorry for the child she was and the abuse she had to endure. But I hate the woman who stands before us today for what she did to Jhessye. I'm not sure she can be fixed, ever.
snipped....
I am not one for revealing personal things on an internet forum, and I am usually intensively private....but I just have to speak to this.
I was abused by my mother, both physically and mentally, for most of my childhood. When she was in her 70's, as a much changed person, she apologized to me and asked for forgiveness because she wanted me to be free from my anger and confusion about our relationship. Eventually we reached the point of a cautious friendship. She was a wonderful grandmother, and never once even raised her voice to her grandchildren. I'm not really sure what healed inside of her, or how it happened, but she did make a significant improvement in her life, and in her behavior. I was thankful for it.
She would never, ever have defended me if I had taken her path, and been abusive to my children.
Luckily, I have never even been tempted to harm my children. I never spanked them, and chose to use other methods of discipline. My children were never, ever scared of me, but they did respect me. People often comment on my patience and ability to connect with kids. I have such love and empathy for children because I know how fragile and vulnerable they really are. What may seem like no big deal to a grown up can really be hurtful to a child. My kids are very close to me, and they come to me with all their problems and triumphs and news, even though 2 are in college and one is a senior in high school. I have the relationship with my children that I wish I'd had with my mother.
A person can choose to be different. If it takes counseling and re-learning how to relate to your family...so be it. I would never have allowed myself to make my children live through what I did for so many years. I had a lot of anger towards my Mom, but I just wanted to be a different kind of parent. I chose to educate myself on child development, and to learn how to be a happy person so that I could have happy children. I suffered through a divorce, and I was a single Mom for 16 years. But my kids did not ever bear the brunt of my stress as I struggled to work and raise children. We had a lot of fun, and we enjoyed life. My kids have happy memories of growing up, for the most part. The divorce was awful, but we all survived intact.
I am sorry that Jerice suffered as a child. But she could've taken a different approach to her life. It is possible to break the cycle. I don't know how I did it...but I did, so I know it can be done. Maybe it's because when I knew I wanted to have children, I also knew that I could not bring them into this world and then allow myself to abuse them. I would've died first. I made the choice to do it right. Jerice had that same option.
If she suffered as a child....then why on earth did she not want a better life for her children? If I had been unable to mother my children in a loving way, I would've given them up to someone who would. Jerice could've done that. She could've limited the number of children she had to reduce her stress level. She could've asked for help. There are so many ways she could have done the right thing. She could've avoided having children at all if she was still struggling with anger.
As an adult, Jerice had the power to control her life that she didn't have as a child. She obviously chose not to use it to make her life better. She used her power to become an abuser just like her mother, and I find that unforgivable.
The cycle does not have to repeat itself. It could've stopped with her.
