Bio-Mom Crystal

[kidz110]

OR it could be that Ron, a man who had a good job, medical insurance, and a double wide with three bedrooms looked attractive to these young girls who probably had been around the block a time or ten themselves. There's no doubt in my mind that Ron has "issues", however he also seems, to me at least, the kind of guy who gets sucked in by a certain type of "girl". If he was so abusive to Crystal why have TWO chldren with him and, by her own admission, she went back to him several times after she had broken free. Makes no sense to me. And the fact that "Amber" hasn't asked for child support, which would entail a DNA test, would say to me it's possible there could be other contenders for her baby daddy... IMO

It looks to me like he goes after a "certain type of girl." Someone he can easily control.

 

[CeeKer]

You've obviously never been in an abusive relationship. I consider myself an intelligent and strong woman but when I was young I married someone who drank too much and was very abusive- physically and emotionally. It took me seven years to become strong enough to get out. He was arrested, I was hospitalized with broken bones and internal injuries and I still took him back.

An abuser makes you feel that you are completely without value and that you are lucky that they "bless you" with their abuse.

It's very hard to extract yourself from a relationship like that when you have had it beat (literally and figuratively) into you that you are worthless.

And after you leave, it takes years to feel whole and valuable again.

I've used my experiences to help other people- but I do know that unless you've been there or held someone's hand who has been there it's very hard to understand. I lived it and I hardly believe it of myself.

:blowkiss: Pirate my heart breaks for you and all you've been through. I definitely hear what you're saying and I know what you say is 100% true.

But my defense of Ron is only because we don't know "for sure" what kind of person he was/is. I think a lot of us view Ron from our own "frame of reference". What it boils down to me is, Crystal had a golden opportunity to prove, in court, what she had suffered at his hands and didn't bring one witness in to verify anything she said. And yes I believe these girls "could possibly" be the kind of girl you describe, but they could also be the kind of girl who knows what she's doing. Having worked in a high school, I've seen many, many young 16 year old girls who were quite capable of manipulating "older men". My point is we just don't really know WHAT kind of man Ron is, not really.

 

[kidz110]

You've obviously never been in an abusive relationship. I consider myself an intelligent and strong woman but when I was young I married someone who drank too much and was very abusive- physically and emotionally. It took me seven years to become strong enough to get out. He was arrested, I was hospitalized with broken bones and internal injuries and I still took him back.

An abuser makes you feel that you are completely without value and that you are lucky that they "bless you" with their abuse.

It's very hard to extract yourself from a relationship like that when you have had it beat (literally and figuratively) into you that you are worthless.

And after you leave, it takes years to feel whole and valuable again.

I've used my experiences to help other people- but I do know that unless you've been there or held someone's hand who has been there it's very hard to understand. I lived it and I hardly believe it of myself.

Pirate, I'm so glad you were finally strong enough to leave. :blowkiss: I agree with everything you just said. My sister was a very well educated and successful woman. Unfortunately she wasn't able to find the strength to leave in time. I have reached no conclusion about what happened to Haleigh, but I was very happy to see a stronger Crystal last night. I really believe she wants truthful answers.

 

[CeeKer]

It looks to me like he goes after a "certain type of girl." Someone he can easily control.

Honestly, I think it could go either way. He sure didn't do a very good job of "controlling" Misty if the rumors are true about her "stepping out" on him. My point is we are making assumptions about him without knowing anything about these girls.

And don't they usually say that an abused women is most vulnerable when she leaves an abuser. Crystal herself has said she left and went back several times. Yet she's never mentioned any threats made to her at that particular time. And actually she's only verbalized one supposed "pushing/hitting" incident when she was pregnant. Just one. You'd think with her platform last night she would have aired a larger laundry list.

 

[pirate]

Thanks ceeker and kidz- I've become very astute regarding abuse- I can ferret out a victim or an abuser just by looking at body language and how they handle themselves.

Crystal fits the profile to a tee. She clearly has a low self esteem and is not very outspoken. Anyone else in her shoes would have been loudly demanding answers when this first happened.

And re her not bringing witnesses to the custody hearings- you do know that Ron tried to take the kids to Mexico to get them away from Crystal, right? He made it to Texas and told her he would take them to Mexico so she would never see them again. He bulldozed her- and she mentioned that he kept asking her to come back. He used those kids as a tool to control her. She was scared to death of what he would do- you lose rationality when under so much stress.

 

[wanetta]

You've obviously never been in an abusive relationship. I consider myself an intelligent and strong woman but when I was young I married someone who drank too much and was very abusive- physically and emotionally. It took me seven years to become strong enough to get out. He was arrested, I was hospitalized with broken bones and internal injuries and I still took him back.

An abuser makes you feel that you are completely without value and that you are lucky that they "bless you" with their abuse.

It's very hard to extract yourself from a relationship like that when you have had it beat (literally and figuratively) into you that you are worthless.

And after you leave, it takes years to feel whole and valuable again.

I've used my experiences to help other people- but I do know that unless you've been there or held someone's hand who has been there it's very hard to understand. I lived it and I hardly believe it of myself.

Agreed - been there, done that - and yes, it takes years and years to feel whole again. I used to be one who would say "well, she must like it or else she wouldn't stay there" -- had to eat those words!!

However, even after 15 years removed from the situation, I would never, ever get on television and tell all that stuff about him -- I'd be tooooooo scared of him -- It would be another 15 years before I would feel safe enough to close both eyes!!! She evidently got over the fear of her abuser lots quicker than I have...

 

[CeeKer]

Agreed - been there, done that - and yes, it takes years and years to feel whole again. I used to be one who would say "well, she must like it or else she wouldn't stay there" -- had to eat those words!!

However, even after 15 years removed from the situation, I would never, ever get on television and tell all that stuff about him -- I'd be tooooooo scared of him -- It would be another 15 years before I would feel safe enough to close both eyes!!! She evidently got over the fear of her abuser lots quicker than I have...

:blowkiss: Sorry for your pain also wanetta

 

[tehcloser]

Agreed - been there, done that - and yes, it takes years and years to feel whole again. I used to be one who would say "well, she must like it or else she wouldn't stay there" -- had to eat those words!!

However, even after 15 years removed from the situation, I would never, ever get on television and tell all that stuff about him -- I'd be tooooooo scared of him -- It would be another 15 years before I would feel safe enough to close both eyes!!! She evidently got over the fear of her abuser lots quicker than I have...

I think Crystal feels stronger right now because of all the people around her....and you know LE is close. That's why she is not afraid to talk imo.

 

[kidz110]

What it boils down to me is, Crystal had a golden opportunity to prove, in court, what she had suffered at his hands and didn't bring one witness in to verify anything she said.

I am not surprised by that. Apparently several neighbors saw my sister actually being abused on several occassions. I was told they did call police, but would not make a written statement and none of them were brought in during the trial. You never know how people in a small town are going to act. Especially if they would be speaking against a family with more influence and power in that community.

 

[cuppy199]

I personally dont know if the bio mom was abused or not but I do find it some what werid that from day one she has been pointing the finger at the dad. The bio mom was quick to bad mouth him on NG. And honestly if she was that afraid of him she wouldn't be sitting so close to him when she does.My point is that I wouldn't judge the dad on what she says just yet. I dont know but something about this women and her mom has raised my hinky meter from day one. I know it is extremely hard for a father to get custody of their children and I think there is alot more to this then the mother is saying. Right now im not going to pass judgement on the dad about what the mother says just yet.

 

[tehcloser]

I am not surprised by that. Apparently several neighbors saw my sister actually being abused on several occassions. I was told they did call police, but would not make a written statement and none of them were brought in during the trial. You never know how people in a small town are going to act. Especially if they would be speaking against a family with more influence and power in that community.

Being raised in a small county in Texas, and having a Mom who worked for the local JP....I can tell you those ties bind!!!!!!!! I can see TN having influence on a Judge. Actually it worries me that it could influence this case.

 

[CeeKer]

I am not surprised by that. Apparently several neighbors saw my sister actually being abused on several occassions. I was told they did call police, but would not make a written statement and none of them were brought in during the trial. You never know how people in a small town are going to act. Especially if they would be speaking against a family with more influence and power in that community.

Very, very true. But what makes me suspect about Crystal's allegations is that two of her "potential" witnesses to the abuse were her own father and cousin. Neither of whom saw fit to appear in court to protect the interest of their "kin".

 

[CeeKer]

Being raised in a small county in Texas, and having a Mom who worked for the local JP....I can tell you those ties bind!!!!!!!! I can see TN having influence on a Judge. Actually it worries me that it could influence this case.

In my town, one of the police dispatchers is a women who's kids are always in and out of trouble/jail. DCF is always being called to the house too. Sometimes the police go out of their way to "not" appear there is any impropriety going on as well.

 

[tehcloser]

I personally dont know if the bio mom was abused or not but I do find it some what werid that from day one she has been pointing the finger at the dad. The bio mom was quick to bad mouth him on NG. And honestly if she was that afraid of him she wouldn't be sitting so close to him when she does.My point is that I wouldn't judge the dad on what she says just yet. I dont know but something about this women and her mom has raised my hinky meter from day one. I know it is extremely hard for a father to get custody of their children and I think there is alot more to this then the mother is saying. Right now im not going to pass judgement on the dad about what the mother says just yet.

I respect that Cuppy. But I think we need to not pass judgement on Crystal just yet either. What IF she is telling the truth? What if she does believe that he knows more than he is telling? What if she felt that this was the only way to get those questions out? I don't know. I thinnk we need to listen to everything that is said by everyone.....the story lies somewhere in the middle I think.

ps...I'm not saying that you are passing judgement on Crystal, I'm talking in general terms......:blowkiss:

 

[tehcloser]

In my town, one of the police dispatchers is a women who's kids are always in and out of trouble/jail. DCF is always being called to the house too. Sometimes the police go out of their way to "not" appear there is any impropriety going on as well.

True, but it is something to think about....

 

[cuppy199]

I think Crystal feels stronger right now because of all the people around her....and you know LE is close. That's why she is not afraid to talk imo.

Im not saying the dad doesnt have a temper but im not ready to say he did the things this women is claiming. I have seen many cases where the women makes up certain things to get custody.Not saying thats the case. But something about this women doesnt seem right to me and Im not ready to take her word as fact. Maybe she couldn't prove it in court because it never happen to begin with. I cant say for sure if it did or didnt.But I also take in to account would it benefit the mom to point the finger at the dad. I say yes it would. And it had seemed to me from the beginning that the mother and her mom finger the dad from the very first interview. But the dad hasnt said one word about the mom might having something to do with it and to me that speaks volumes. Its JMO That something isnt quite right with the bio mom and the truth hasnt fulling came out. So I personally will wait to pass judgement.

 

[Jolynna]

Very, very true. But what makes me suspect about Crystal's allegations is that two of her "potential" witnesses to the abuse were her own father and cousin. Neither of whom saw fit to appear in court to protect the interest of their "kin".

Nothing I've seen so far makes me doubt Crystal's take that Ron loves Haleigh or that he has a temper.

I think Crystal and Misti resemble each other.

 

[pirate]

Crystal has been pointing the finger at Ron since the beginning because she knows what kind of people he surrounds himself with. I don't blame her one little bit.

If my child went missing, the gloves would come off and I would question every individual in that child's life- like it or not, if it would bring my child home, I would say exactly what I thought.

And I would first say it to LE- but if two weeks later we were no closer to finding my child, I would probably start screaming too.

I have a feeling that LE authorized this freak show last night.

 

[KelliKat]

Im not saying the dad doesnt have a temper but im not ready to say he did the things this women is claiming. I have seen many cases where the women makes up certain things to get custody.Not saying thats the case. But something about this women doesnt seem right to me and Im not ready to take her word as fact. Maybe she couldn't prove it in court because it never happen to begin with. I cant say for sure if it did or didnt.But I also take in to account would it benefit the mom to point the finger at the dad. I say yes it would. And it had seemed to me from the beginning that the mother and her mom finger the dad from the very first interview. But the dad hasnt said one word about the mom might having something to do with it and to me that speaks volumes. Its JMO That something isnt quite right with the bio mom and the truth hasnt fulling came out. So I personally will wait to pass judgement.

I agree with you cuppy on this point. Some women give this type of man too much power....all I see in Ron is mouth. Verbal abuse can be fixed.

 

[wanetta]

Im not saying the dad doesnt have a temper but im not ready to say he did the things this women is claiming. I have seen many cases where the women makes up certain things to get custody.Not saying thats the case. But something about this women doesnt seem right to me and Im not ready to take her word as fact. Maybe she couldn't prove it in court because it never happen to begin with. I cant say for sure if it did or didnt.But I also take in to account would it benefit the mom to point the finger at the dad. I say yes it would. And it had seemed to me from the beginning that the mother and her mom finger the dad from the very first interview. But the dad hasnt said one word about the mom might having something to do with it and to me that speaks volumes. Its JMO That something isnt quite right with the bio mom and the truth hasnt fulling came out. So I personally will wait to pass judgement.

Good points. And yes, after starting out pointing finger toward dad's direction they embraced, didn't they?? I, too, think it would benefit her to point fingers at dad. I just hope that's not what it's all about. I, too, need to wait before passing judgement.