CA CA - Bryce Laspisa, 19, Castaic, 30 Aug 2013 - #7

[Seajay]

I've thought about this so many times. We did exactly what Bryce's parents did. We sent our son away to college. The distances are about the same to where Bryce went to where our son went in relationship to Bryce's parents home and our home.

Our son was the same age. He made a few road trips home by himself. There was several rest areas and small towns to go through that he could have gotten off on. And at any time, the same thing that happened to Bryce could have happened to our son.

I try to put myself in the Laspisa's shoes and all I feel is fear. Polarizing fear. I wouldn't be able to remember to eat, I'd be doing good just to get out of bed in the morning and shower and dress. Someone would have to remind me to do these things. I would not be able to think straight, have a rational thought, just abject fear in the pit of my stomach every second of every day my son was missing. I don't know how they function right now. I don't know how they can put one foot in front of the other. Every day has to be agony for these people. I know it would be for me.

We need to remember this. I'm sure Karen is regretting not getting in her vehicle and driving to Buttonwillow to find Bryce while he was there. Hindsight is always 20/20. But she thought everything was ok, that he was on his way home and he was just being stubborn or obstinate, as 19 year old boys can get. There is no way to anticipate anything like this.

No matter what we here at WS feel about this case, no matter how invested emotionally to this case or Bryce we are, it cannot compare to what his family is feeling. It just can't. IMO, JMO, MOO>

 

[RoseGarden]

For now I like others think I'm gonna take a step back from this particular case.

I spent a lot of time, effort, and money to help aid in finding him and with no response as of the past 2 weeks I just don't feel like it is helping.

Call it butt hurt or whatever you will but a week ago I risked my safety by staying overnight in Buttonwillow and interviewing people for 2 days. I never got a response to my email regarding the results of that search despite the fact it was asked of me to do such a search.

I'm certainly not the only one who has felt this way.

I truly hope he is found and will probably continue to read here, however I just don't know how to continue to keep exerting so much time and energy when it goes ignored.

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I just want you to know I admire what you have done for this case, above and beyond. Recharge, regroup when it makes sense, and know that I am grateful as are so many here - and no doubt the family, too. There can only be moments of agony on the part of Karen and Mike and family resources might mean circling the wagons for a bit. Brian is moving the ball, and no doubt we will hear a few of those last questions answered soon, re Bryce's words / actions in Chico, the cell phone review, your efforts in Buttonwillow.
Thank you, thank you Amanda for risking life and limb in this process tho' we don't want you to risk life and limb... :loveyou:

 

[2Hope4]

I appreciate the perspective. I agree that sometimes it hard to understand what they are feeling and going through.

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Don't take it personal. Many times PMs, emails, phone calls, etc., go unanswered in everyday life. Add on the stress of their situation, and I would imagine they are ready to climb in a cave and never come back out. The fear, anxiety, heartache has got to be unbearable. No doubt depression is at an all time high as well. Emotionally, and physically draining for them all.

Protect yourself emotionally as well. Sometimes a step back and a breather is what we all need. You've definitely been an asset to the investigation. I'm sure the family appreciates all you've done. They've got many irons in the fire right now.

:loveyou:

 

[Sopranofan]

So beautifully stated! And Amanda, if I ever needed a trooper on my team, I would ask for you. To put yourself out

 

[Sopranofan]

Oops, accidentally hit send! Amanda, to put yourself out on a limb for strangers shows such compassion. Take a break if you need to, but please don't give up.

 

[AmandaFast]

I really appreciate all the kind words. Was having a down day especially since it was coming up on a week since the BW trip and almost 2 months from when he disappeared and its so frustrating.

At the end of the day, feelings aside, I just want him home regardless of why he went missing in the first place.

I have to remember not to make this about me or any of us. I guess it just is hard sometimes to make that differentiation. Nothing is normal in this situation. Nothing could be more abnormal and therefore I can't honestly expect normal reactions.

But the fact that so many of you have such sweet hearts really cheers me up. We are such a great group of people. I'd love to have friends like you guys!! Especially Gitana for spending an incredible amount of time on that video despite moving. Amazing group of people!

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[cluciano63]

Most of these cases reach a point when no new info is coming out, LE is releasing next to nothing and the family has released as much as they are going to. At that point, it is difficult to know what to do, other than keeping eyes open and being available, if possible, when searches happen, whether by donating to costs, actual searching, sharing of flyers, etc.

Maybe Bryce's uncle will come back soon, if there is something they need help with. Most of us are not in the area, so it is doubly hard to feel useful, IMO. When the person missing is legally an adult, I often feel a little wary about prying, not knowing if the person wants to be found.

But I don't think we are at that point yet, since searches are still being discussed and planned at least tentatively. I do wish we knew if the phone records were made available to family, even if not to us.

JMO

 

[coastal]

I've thought about this so many times. We did exactly what Bryce's parents did. We sent our son away to college. The distances are about the same to where Bryce went to where our son went in relationship to Bryce's parents home and our home.

Our son was the same age. He made a few road trips home by himself. There was several rest areas and small towns to go through that he could have gotten off on. And at any time, the same thing that happened to Bryce could have happened to our son.

I try to put myself in the Laspisa's shoes and all I feel is fear. Polarizing fear. I wouldn't be able to remember to eat, I'd be doing good just to get out of bed in the morning and shower and dress. Someone would have to remind me to do these things. I would not be able to think straight, have a rational thought, just abject fear in the pit of my stomach every second of every day my son was missing. I don't know how they function right now. I don't know how they can put one foot in front of the other. Every day has to be agony for these people. I know it would be for me.

We need to remember this. I'm sure Karen is regretting not getting in her vehicle and driving to Buttonwillow to find Bryce while he was there. Hindsight is always 20/20. But she thought everything was ok, that he was on his way home and he was just being stubborn or obstinate, as 19 year old boys can get. There is no way to anticipate anything like this.

No matter what we here at WS feel about this case, no matter how invested emotionally to this case or Bryce we are, it cannot compare to what his family is feeling. It just can't. IMO, JMO, MOO>

My bold. Seajay, how interesting that you said this - when I try to put myself in Bryce's shoes, I feel the same thing. Exactly. To the word.
SMH. So much love, so much fear, all mixed up together into chaos. And silence. So much hope! Its enough to break anyone's heart.

Gitana1, wow. What a beautiful thing your video is! The music was especially powerful, and well done! And dad, omg. And who couldn't love that kid with the bangs? Thank you for helping this family. Its a good thing.

Amanda, I think it's smart that you step back from this search. I think you're smart for doing it. Its a terrifying thing sometimes, caring for people, and it may well be painful, but never doubt that it is worth that price.

You shine. Your goodness radiates into this hard thing, a bright splash of yellow optimism and fearless motion. It is enough. Take a breath. You did good. Better, even.
Be careful with you.

Sending good thoughts to Bryce and his family, and his friends.

 

[Whiteorchids]

I've thought about this so many times. We did exactly what Bryce's parents did. We sent our son away to college. The distances are about the same to where Bryce went to where our son went in relationship to Bryce's parents home and our home.

Our son was the same age. He made a few road trips home by himself. There was several rest areas and small towns to go through that he could have gotten off on. And at any time, the same thing that happened to Bryce could have happened to our son.

I try to put myself in the Laspisa's shoes and all I feel is fear. Polarizing fear. I wouldn't be able to remember to eat, I'd be doing good just to get out of bed in the morning and shower and dress. Someone would have to remind me to do these things. I would not be able to think straight, have a rational thought, just abject fear in the pit of my stomach every second of every day my son was missing. I don't know how they function right now. I don't know how they can put one foot in front of the other. Every day has to be agony for these people. I know it would be for me.

We need to remember this. I'm sure Karen is regretting not getting in her vehicle and driving to Buttonwillow to find Bryce while he was there. Hindsight is always 20/20. But she thought everything was ok, that he was on his way home and he was just being stubborn or obstinate, as 19 year old boys can get. There is no way to anticipate anything like this.

No matter what we here at WS feel about this case, no matter how invested emotionally to this case or Bryce we are, it cannot compare to what his family is feeling. It just can't. IMO, JMO, MOO>

This post is exactly the reason why I don't think Bryce would do what many of you think which is to go missing on purpose. He was an only child. I just don't believe he would be cruel enough to hurt his family this way especially not his Mom, he loves them too much. I could see a couple weeks at the most but almost two months? I'm not buying this. I seriously think something happened to him.

Amanda we appreciate everything you did. You went over and beyond the call of duty. You are a real go getter and very tenacious. If anything ever happens within my family I want you on my team!!!!


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[la2cabo]

I really appreciate all the kind words. Was having a down day especially since it was coming up on a week since the BW trip and almost 2 months from when he disappeared and its so frustrating.

At the end of the day, feelings aside, I just want him home regardless of why he went missing in the first place.

I have to remember not to make this about me or any of us. I guess it just is hard sometimes to make that differentiation. Nothing is normal in this situation. Nothing could be more abnormal and therefore I can't honestly expect normal reactions.

But the fact that so many of you have such sweet hearts really cheers me up. We are such a great group of people. I'd love to have friends like you guys!! Especially Gitana for spending an incredible amount of time on that video despite moving. Amazing group of people!

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Amanda: I'm sorry you are having a down day. I have felt the same as you on more than one occasion but I didn't have the balls to say it out loud.

If you need a break, by all means take it! Just don't go too far for too long . I personally love your thoughts and posts. They are very insightful and enlightening. And you going to BW...well that's in a category all its own.

You have my e mail and number if you ever need to talk and if you're ever in the mood for another road trip gimme a call.

 

[lillygator]

amanda, I am sorry you are having a down day. I feel for you.

for me it is very telling there is no new news from the uncle, the mom and dad have never registered here, etc.

my gut says Bryce is alive somewhere or killed himself. he did not want his mom to know what he was doing, that is OBVIOUS. I really wish the family would truly be more forthcoming with information, WE can help.

 

[Voice4theSilent]

People are getting a little crazy on the Find Bryce FB page. I understand that emotions are running high and everyone on there wants Bryce found but people are attacking others for not physically grabbing someone who may resemble Bryce and dragging them to the police station. People who are reporting sightings without having spoken to the individual, taken a picture and/or dragged them to the police station are being attacked. Such hostility is the quickest way to get people to STOP reporting possible sightings all together.

Imagine if the women who spotted the homeless individuals who ended up not being Bryce had done what is being advocated there? People need to stay safe and work within their comfort zone, regardless of what other people may think and it needs to be acceptable to the family and the others on that page. While there are a lot of homeless people who are kind and understanding there are also those who are suffering from mental disorders and other issues that can make them dangerous to approach and/or start physically dragging around. The last thing anyone needs is for people to get hurt trying to find Bryce. Just my :twocents:

 

[la2cabo]

People are getting a little crazy on the Find Bryce FB page. I understand that emotions are running high and everyone on there wants Bryce found but people are attacking others for not physically grabbing someone who may resemble Bryce and dragging them to the police station. People who are reporting sightings without having spoken to the individual, taken a picture and/or dragged them to the police station are being attacked. Such hostility is the quickest way to get people to STOP reporting possible sightings all together.

Imagine if the women who spotted the homeless individuals who ended up not being Bryce had done what is being advocated there? People need to stay safe and work within their comfort zone, regardless of what other people may think and it needs to be acceptable to the family and the others on that page. While there are a lot of homeless people who are kind and understanding there are also those who are suffering from mental disorders and other issues that can make them dangerous to approach and/or start physically dragging around. The last thing anyone needs is for people to get hurt trying to find Bryce. Just my :twocents:

I just saw all of that. Wow! One of the things that surprised me the most was Mrs. L being on board with the nastiness and cussing. I'm going to chalk it up to her having a VERY BAD DAY which she is more than entitled to. However, I hope the family doesn't start biting the hands that feed them or they may start losing some of the support and volunteers.

 

[Seajay]

People are getting a little crazy on the Find Bryce FB page. I understand that emotions are running high and everyone on there wants Bryce found but people are attacking others for not physically grabbing someone who may resemble Bryce and dragging them to the police station. People who are reporting sightings without having spoken to the individual, taken a picture and/or dragged them to the police station are being attacked. Such hostility is the quickest way to get people to STOP reporting possible sightings all together.

Imagine if the women who spotted the homeless individuals who ended up not being Bryce had done what is being advocated there? People need to stay safe and work within their comfort zone, regardless of what other people may think and it needs to be acceptable to the family and the others on that page. While there are a lot of homeless people who are kind and understanding there are also those who are suffering from mental disorders and other issues that can make them dangerous to approach and/or start physically dragging around. The last thing anyone needs is for people to get hurt trying to find Bryce. Just my :twocents:

I saw the same thing happen in the McStay case when a girl in South Carolina thought she saw them at a fast food restaurant. It was crazy. They admonished her for not taking a picture, for not questioning them, for not following them, for not grabbing them and dragging them to the police.

Do people even think??? You grab someone and try to take them anywhere, that's a charge of false imprisonment. You question someone you don't know, you are liable to get a knife in your gut. You take their picture without their permission and you are liable to get a broken camera/phone/nose. Because maybe it's not the missing person(s), maybe it is and they are missing for a reason. Either way, some people are aggressive and some follow the laws.

 

[cluciano63]

I am not sure why people feel compelled to announce on FB a possible "sighting". Why can't people just let the police or family know, and let the family post it on Fb, if they feel it could be valid. Not just this case, happens all the time, people posting "tips" and "sightings" on Fb pages. JMO

 

[Seajay]

I do think he took off on his own to do something else with his life. I don't think in his emotional state he even realized what his disappearance would mean to his parents. If he felt a failure or a disappointment to them, he might feel they are better off without him, if he felt confined by them, he might feel he's escaping.

I was speaking from a mother's perspective of having a missing son, not the son's perspective of leaving for whatever his reasons were. Once again, I don't think he is in his right mind and being logical, therefore, we cannot gauge what he would do based on logical thinking. IMO, MOO, JMO

 

[Whiteorchids]

I do think he took off on his own to do something else with his life. I don't think in his emotional state he even realized what his disappearance would mean to his parents. If he felt a failure or a disappointment to them, he might feel they are better off without him, if he felt confined by them, he might feel he's escaping.

I was speaking from a mother's perspective of having a missing son, not the son's perspective of leaving for whatever his reasons were. Once again, I don't think he is in his right mind and being logical, therefore, we cannot gauge what he would do based on logical thinking. IMO, MOO, JMO

I don't think he did. I don't think he had the means. LE found nothing unusual on the laptop HD. I think this is all just a bad weekend turned bad coming down off the Vyanese gone bad. I think he got his keys back jumped in the car and every move he made after was strictly impulsive. He was "blowing off steam" my son finds driving calms him down when he's upset.

The family doesn't believe that theory either and they know Bryce better than us. Dragracerz has made that clear along with family comments on Find Bryce FB.

Maybe he is being held somewhere against his will. I do hope we find out what happened that dreadful morning. Alive or deceased I hope he is found soon so the family can have closure.



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[Seajay]

According to all the messages the parents have made to Bryce, including the one on Gitana's video, they think so.

He didn't call his parents. They did not know he was coming home. He didn't call his mother until the police stood right next to him and told him to and waited for him to do so. He didn't tell his mother anything other than that he was going to hang around with friends later. He spent 10-12 hours in Buttonwillow, hanging out. And from what Amanda said, it's a dangerous place, you take your life in your hands by being there very long.

He broke up with his girlfriend, he took Vyvance, he packed up some of his possessions. I think on that drive to clear his head, he decided to leave. We don't know how much money Bryce had on him. He used the card, maybe that was save all his available cash for when he needed it.

He left school two days after it started. He walked out of Castaic as per the dogs. He left. And he caught a ride out of there some way.

I believe he took off to find himself, to have a different life, to clear his head, to do whatever, but he's gone. I don't think he's dead. I do not think he "stumbled" into the lake and then was not found. He walked out of there on his own steam. Otherwise, where is the body? They've had many searches in that area and have turned up not so much as a shoe, a sock, shirt, a red hair. He's gone.

19 year olds don't think about their actions a lot of times. I don't think he thought this through, he went on emotion. Emotion, not common sense. IMO.

 

[Whiteorchids]

According to all the messages the parents have made to Bryce, including the one on Gitana's video, they think so.

He didn't call his parents. They did not know he was coming home. He didn't call his mother until the police stood right next to him and told him to and waited for him to do so. He didn't tell his mother anything other than that he was going to hang around with friends later. He spent 10-12 hours in Buttonwillow, hanging out. And from what Amanda said, it's a dangerous place, you take your life in your hands by being there very long.

He broke up with his girlfriend, he took Vyvance, he packed up some of his possessions. I think on that drive to clear his head, he decided to leave. We don't know how much money Bryce had on him. He used the card, maybe that was save all his available cash for when he needed it.

He left school two days after it started. He walked out of Castaic as per the dogs. He left. And he caught a ride out of there some way.

I believe he took off to find himself, to have a different life, to clear his head, to do whatever, but he's gone. I don't think he's dead. I do not think he "stumbled" into the lake and then was not found. He walked out of there on his own steam. Otherwise, where is the body? They've had many searches in that area and have turned up not so much as a shoe, a sock, shirt, a red hair. He's gone.

19 year olds don't think about their actions a lot of times. I don't think he thought this through, he went on emotion. Emotion, not common sense. IMO.

Actually the family believes he has a brain or head injury and is living homeless or has amnesia not that he is purposely staying away living another life. Klaas kids is focusing the searches around the lake. I believe they know more than we do.

There are many scenarios possible my husband is a police officer and has shared many stories. Any number of things could have happened after the crash. FOUL PLAY is possible. There are lots of Psychopaths around. We don't know what happened to Bryce or he would be here. We cannot assume he took off on his own accord. I5 is a long stretch of freeway with hills and rural areas all along the way.


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[leilarose68]

Actually the family believes he has a brain or head injury and is living homeless or has amnesia not that he is purposely staying away living another life. Klaas kids is focusing the searches around the lake. I believe they know more than we do.

There are many scenarios possible my husband is a police officer and has shared many stories. Any number of things could have happened after the crash. FOUL PLAY is possible. There are lots of Psychopaths around. We don't know what happened to Bryce or he would be here. We cannot assume he took off on his own accord. I5 is a long stretch of freeway with hills and rural areas all along the way.


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if the parents said explicitly that they think he left of his own free will, the support they have gotten would likely dwindle... why should people search for someone who doesn't want to be found? and the parents still want people to look for bryce for as long as possible, so obviously they're going to push theories that make him seem more sympathetic.

i think bryce tried to commit suicide by crashing his car, and when that didn't work, he went off either to commit suicide another way or start a new life. i think that's where all the evidence points to.