CA CA - Bryce Laspisa, 19, Castaic, 30 Aug 2013 - #7

[Jo in Calif]

:tantrum: is my guess.

From Bryce or his ex girlfriend?

 

[Eileen730]

Getting to the bottom of this incident is important. But I wonder if the way it played out has a simple explanation. Pure speculation on my part from a mother's point of view - when it's your own kid's word vs. that of his or her friend(s), some mothers have a very hard time believing the friends. They'll believe their own child over anyone else, even when the "evidence" should be crystal clear to them.

Not trying to blame anyone here, just looking to make some sense of this.

It had to be pretty serious for his friends to take his car keys away!

 

[Eileen730]

From Bryce or his ex girlfriend?

Bryce is my guess!

 

[Woe.be.gone]

Getting to the bottom of this incident is important. But I wonder if the way it played out has a simple explanation. Pure speculation on my part from a mother's point of view - when it's your own kid's word vs. that of his or her friend(s), some mothers have a very hard time believing the friends. They'll believe their own child over anyone else, even when the "evidence" should be crystal clear to them.

Not trying to blame anyone here, just looking to make some sense of this.

Big mistake imo.
Some of my best leveling info (getting a gage on how my kid is perceived) has come from his peers, especially the girls. They are the talkers. Sometimes I find out good things! Trying to get info out of the boys, when asked directly, is akin to breaking into Fort Knox. Loyalty seems to be key these days.
Regarding if something serious happened, I hope they'd spill details but who knows?

 

[Hatfield]

I don't think anyone is really second-guessing his mom...just wondering about what else there is to the story about the keys. It may not be our business, but it does not stop one wondering. Generally if young people are inclined to take keys from a friend, there is a very good reason, not done lightly. JMO

Totally agree. Im wondering if maybe it would provide more of a clue as to his whereabouts if there was something more to the story about the "keys" that we may not be aware of.

I think most of us agree that the hours and maybe even days leading up to his disappearance are critical to fully understand how he got to where he was and maybe it could help determine what happened to him.

We all just ultimately want to find him and everything is important. Especially when it seems out of the norm. Having your keys taken is pretty extreme IMO and I would classify that as out of the norm, so it raises a red flag as something that really needs looked into, in order to determine if it provides any clues as to maybe what ended up happening to him.

The part that concerns me is it seems like the exact opposite of what she would normally do, when we take into account her phone calls to Service man and LE to check up on him. We all agree she seems to be a very caring person and worried about her son. There is no question about that, so why did she make others give back the keys if the others felt he was not fit to drive. It just seems strange.

The whole thing is just kind of strange, and just not sure we have all the details. IMO, it is a valid thing to question and to try to get as much information as possible about.

Here is an example of why something like this could be critical. This is just a wild left field example, but is illustrating how something like this could provide a vital clue as to his disappearance:
Just suppose he was playing poker, and he put the keys to his truck in a huge poker hand bet, and lost. There could have been someone who was not as forgiving who won the bet, and when he had to give the keys back, maybe he went after what he thought was owed to him.

Again, just showing an example of why IMO everything is important, especially when something happens beforehand that seems a little out of the norm.

 

[KaliChick]

I'm a mother and I'd definitely be second guessing myself. As it is, I do so often. Kids don't come with a playbook.
All comments aren't meant to crucify; trying to get to some truth here is all (my perspective on questioning mom's decisions).

Even as a mom for only 19 months, I hear ya. I'm ALWAYS second guessing the decisions I make for my kid.

I just keep going back to, I'm wondering if she felt giving him the keys would help diffuse the situation. Let him get back home where she could talk to him (even if just over the phone) in private. I don't know about anyone else, but it makes sense to me. Also, if she wasn't aware of his taking any pill(s), she might not have realized the severity of the issue. I do think the keys being taken away is a very strong clue as to his mental status and I just wish we could get to the bottom of it. It might not tell us where he is, because even if he was emotionally unstable, even if he was wanting to just disappear, it doesn't mean he had a clear plan or that he didn't meet with foul play/accident.

 

[Woe.be.gone]

From Bryce or his ex girlfriend?

I'm guessing Bryce.

Do you think his girlfriend was trying to keep him there for the sole purpose of keeping him there? And he called his mom?
It's possible but why would he go to see her in person in the first place then?
When you're the one breaking up, usually you're the aloof one - the one having the easy time moving on.
Maybe he was telling her he'd kill himself if they really broke up.

These confusing reasons are why it would be good to know the honest truth. We've all probably had embarrassing experiences surrounding break-ups in our youth and twenties. Like Oprah did, I never chased after or grabbed onto a boy's car, but I did hang out outside where one lived once making a foul of myself. Oh, the agony I felt then and now just thinking about it! lol!

What is the big secret surrounding Bryce's reality during those few days?

 

[HulaMum]

Big mistake imo.
Some of my best leveling info (getting a gage on how my kid is perceived) has come from his peers, especially the girls. They are the talkers. Sometimes I find out good things! Trying to get info out of the boys, when asked directly, is akin to breaking into Fort Knox. Loyalty seems to be key these days.
Regarding if something serious happened, I hope they'd spill details but who knows?

Well, yes, of course this type of parental thinking is flawed. As a teacher though, I see this often. Just trying to understand how Bryce's mom was thinking to make those friends give back his keys.

Now, those friends of Bryce's who seemed to be so on top of things ... I wonder why we're not hearing any more from them? We sort of have a basic version of events from them but not much for details. Seems to be one of the big missing pieces here.

 

[Eileen730]

Since no crime has been committed, why would anyone have to take a polygraph?

This is true Sorry I mentioned it!

 

[Ghostwheel]

Big mistake imo.
Some of my best leveling info (getting a gage on how my kid is perceived) has come from his peers, especially the girls. They are the talkers. Sometimes I find out good things! Trying to get info out of the boys, when asked directly, is akin to breaking into Fort Knox. Loyalty seems to be key these days.
Regarding if something serious happened, I hope they'd spill details but who knows?

Maybe yes mistake, maybe no mistake. I can guarantee you my daughter speaks the truth (or will stand on her 5th amendment rights) and many of her friends do not. I've watched them do something while they were alone (they did not know I was there) then lie about it when the rest of the group returns. They are all looking to appear in their best light. My daughter, on the other hand, does not give a rip about what anyone thinks as long as she is on her own moral compass (right, wrong or indifferent).

And while I agree that getting information out of boys is akin to breaking Fort Knox, most parents who know their kids know which questions to ask to get an accurate reading of the truth of the matter (with the exception of the classic "I dunno" as an answer).

I'm just saying that a girl who was just broken up with (and her friends) may or may not have had a good take on the situation, and Bryce's mother did the best she could with the information given over the phone. Maybe Bryce even said something to that effect (as an example: "She's just angry because I broke up with her and she doesn't like my reason why.")

 

[Sopranofan]

I feel there's a lot more info that will never be shared with us. Maybe nobody is allowed to talk since it's an ongoing investigation...? There are definitely discrepancies between the Adderall use, what former roommate said about B, and what B's uncle says (ie no drug problem). Whatever the case, my heart breaks for his mom (where is dad is in all of this?) and I hope B is found safe & sound.

 

[gitana1]

We would probably be surprised how many have phones, but I am sure they have access to one. Also he could have called anonymously. Not sure but is there a reward being offered?

He apparently offered the information willingly so I just find it strange. I don't believe just because they are homeless they are not concerned citizens. jmo

Of course they are concerned citizens. But many have a serious distrust of LE.

Are we sure his keys were taken from him.
have polygraphs been given to the ppl that last were with him?
Or is everyone taking their word for it?

I think its time go back to the beginning!

Mom spoke to him and them and then said to give his keys back so yes, we know. And the girlfriend is 100% devastated and constantly pining for Bryce. I hate to see any suspicion toward someone who clearly loves him so much.

There is something really strange about the "key" incident. Since we know the Mom seemed to be very concerned about him based on her calling the Service Man and calling LE to check on him, then why in the world would she actually want the friends to give him his keys back if the friends felt he was not fit to drive?

The only reason the friends would take away his keys is if they felt he was not fit to drive, so why would his mom make them give him back his keys?

I am not sure we have enough details to fully understand this. I do think it may help if we had more details about that incident.

But mom didn't alert LE or ask the service guy to check in Bryce until AFTER the key incident. Clearly, he convinced her then but once she found out he was in Buttonwilliw and not his apt, I think she began to freak and the key issue then took on greater significance.

Bruce convinced LE and the roadside guy that he was ok. I think he could hold it together for short periods at that moment.

 

[Seajay]

Thank you for the explanation. Now I understand the reason why there's confusion over whether B's parents knew or didn't know B was driving down to see them.
Can you explain more about the survey and why it took Bryce three hours to get gas. Where was he located then? Do we know his exact location?

Also I wonder where he went after leaving Rocklin at around 11:30 p.m. He must have spent time somewhere else, after his keys were returned, if he didn't arrive in Buttonwillow (name cracks me up) until 9:00 a.m.

YW. I think it was a survey about the kind of service they were given in Buttonwillow when they delivered gasoline. Wanting to know if the customer was satisfied, etc. Yes, he was at a rest area when he ran out of gas and Christian the roadside service guy delivered gas to him there.

That's one of the big questions, as to where he was and why it took him until 9 am to get to Buttonwillow if he left at 11:30 that night for a 6 hour drive. He should have been there 3 hours earlier. No one knows where he went. HTH

 

[Seajay]

I go back to what I said in my first post ... I just wonder if she felt that giving him back his keys would calm him down. I can understand that and actually think I might have done the same thing. He's already "acting weird" (I'm going to go with agitated here) and now, the people he sees as friends are turning on him (this is all just my own theory, but trying to think of how it could have gone down), and he gets more agitated. Mom, not being there, gets the call and figures in order to calm him down, tells them to give him the keys, she tells him to go home (to his apartment) and they will talk in the morning.

At the time, she figures it diffuses the immediate situation and buys some time. She knows something is going on and offers to come up there to talk and help him through it.

In all honesty, I can see this as a caring, loving mom, who was just trying to do the best she could and not being there, seeing it all, it's what made the most sense to her. I don't think there's a right or wrong here, you do what you think is best given the information you have at the time.

This is all just my opinion and theory ... no real basis for any of it to be truth, but it does make sense in my own head.

True, and keeping in mind, she had no idea that in this condition he was going to attempt to drive South all night. For all she knew he was going back to Rocklin and going to bed.

 

[Woe.be.gone]

Maybe yes mistake, maybe no mistake. I can guarantee you my daughter speaks the truth (or will stand on her 5th amendment rights) and many of her friends do not. I've watched them do something while they were alone (they did not know I was there) then lie about it when the rest of the group returns. They are all looking to appear in their best light. My daughter, on the other hand, does not give a rip about what anyone thinks as long as she is on her own moral compass (right, wrong or indifferent).

And while I agree that getting information out of boys is akin to breaking Fort Knox, most parents who know their kids know which questions to ask to get an accurate reading of the truth of the matter (with the exception of the classic "I dunno" as an answer).

I'm just saying that a girl who was just broken up with (and her friends) may or may not have had a good take on the situation, and Bryce's mother did the best she could with the information given over the phone. Maybe Bryce even said something to that effect (as an example: "She's just angry because I broke up with her and she doesn't like my reason why.")

Why keep the circumstances of their break-up under wraps then?
I realize every kid/person is not a liar. By the time I was nineteen, I wasn't.
When trying to get away with more when underage, I told a few - going to library etc.
Li-brary - lol!
Anyway, are peeps trying to misunderstand my posts. I'd rather read a straight reply as to
what was actually going on in Bryce's young life when he disappeared. I don't consider either him or his parents to be villains but, like me and son, I'm sure they're not perfect either.
Why does the tone around here seem to be defensive?

 

[Woe.be.gone]

YW. I think it was a survey about the kind of service they were given in Buttonwillow when they delivered gasoline. Wanting to know if the customer was satisfied, etc. Yes, he was at a rest area when he ran out of gas and Christian the roadside service guy delivered gas to him there.

That's one of the big questions, as to where he was and why it took him until 9 am to get to Buttonwillow if he left at 11:30 that night for a 6 hour drive. He should have been there 3 hours earlier. No one knows where he went. HTH

A survey was put out that quickly? To someone other than the driver?
I'm confused. Anyway I hope they got a 'C' grade at best considering it took them three hours to deliver the gas. Seems like a long time to have to wait.

 

[Voice4theSilent]

YW. I think it was a survey about the kind of service they were given in Buttonwillow when they delivered gasoline. Wanting to know if the customer was satisfied, etc. Yes, he was at a rest area when he ran out of gas and Christian the roadside service guy delivered gas to him there.

That's one of the big questions, as to where he was and why it took him until 9 am to get to Buttonwillow if he left at 11:30 that night for a 6 hour drive. He should have been there 3 hours earlier. No one knows where he went. HTH

Just to clarify, we don't know when he got to Buttonwillow, only when he was discovered to be in Buttonwillow. He may have driven directly there from Chico or he may have not gotten there until 9am....or anywhere in between.

 

[shadowinlaguna]

Probably nothing at all but I did a search of events in buttonwillow over the days beyce was there.I saw one at buttonwillow raceway park. It actually looked prett cool. I know by his screename that Bryce's uncle is in to that stuff. Not sure if bryce was.http://buttonwillowraceway.com/calendar-of-events/automobiles/

 

[HulaMum]

A survey was put out that quickly? To someone other than the driver?
I'm confused. Anyway I hope they got a 'C' grade at best considering it took them three hours to deliver the gas. Seems like a long time to have to wait.

I'm assuming it was just an automatic computer-generated survey triggered by the contact with the vehicle. Bryce's parent(s) may have been the contact (paid for the service?).
It does seem really quick though, doesn't it?

 

[Woe.be.gone]

YW. I think it was a survey about the kind of service they were given in Buttonwillow when they delivered gasoline. Wanting to know if the customer was satisfied, etc. Yes, he was at a rest area when he ran out of gas and Christian the roadside service guy delivered gas to him there.

That's one of the big questions, as to where he was and why it took him until 9 am to get to Buttonwillow if he left at 11:30 that night for a 6 hour drive. He should have been there 3 hours earlier. No one knows where he went. HTH

What? Bryce conveniently ran out of gas at a rest stop? Isn't this story a bit ridiculous?
Okay, I'll take a break and think things over. :waitasec::doorhide::chillout:hdear: