Hi all, This is Shuhan, I got a message on the website. Please let me know if you have questions. Ill be responding. Per Jean Gadra (Derek's Mother): "LAPD missing persons have been receiving tips - thank you to everyone who is looking for him. If you think you see him, their instructions are for you to call 911 and report it as a Missing Persons Critical. They said not to worry about bothering any of the police - they would rather check it out immediately than try and follow up the next day."
Hi all, This is Shuhan, I got a message on the website. Please let me know if you have questions. Ill be responding. Per Jean Gadra (Derek's Mother): "LAPD missing persons have been receiving tips - thank you to everyone who is looking for him. If you think you see him, their instructions are for you to call 911 and report it as a Missing Persons Critical. They said not to worry about bothering any of the police - they would rather check it out immediately than try and follow up the next day."
You noted that Derek almost did not feel challenged enough in his particular field, right? I don't sense that his disappearance was due to a fear of failure. He seems to have been excelling and still had time to date, travel, and make plans with friends. Furthermore, as you said he was open to discussing other career options for the future and had he quit the medical profession it would not have resulted in him becoming a 'failure'... he could have simply moved on to being successful at any number of other intelligent careers (i.e. computer engineering).
This is something that I think is hard for people out side of medicine to understand. Derek and I bonded because we both had similar career goals. I wanted to do Neurosurgery, he wanted to do Orthopedic surgery. But, we both took time off to handle medical issues. He had bilateral foot surgery, I had bilateral knee surgery, as we were both pretty accomplished athletes.
This meant that grueling 16 hour days in the hospital were exceptionally difficult. In addition, Derek was an incredibly happy person. He loved surfing, etc, and free time, which surgeons don't get a lot of. Thus, we both were trying to navigate the difficulties of trying to NOT do our original career dreams
For someone outside of medicine, it may seem ridiculous to think that this would lead to problems. You'll be handsomely paid for in any other speciality. But people don't go to medicine for the money, they go to be the best they can be. Other fields sometimes don't give the same challenge, nor do they garner the same respect among your peers, especially when you're as accomplished as someone like Derek. He may not have been 100% challenged, and did actually think about other things besides medicine. We talked about this a lot. I found a new challenge by going into a different speciality + running a company that is doing well. He didn't have that other thing, and was still struggling to find it.
Do you think there was an emptiness? Do you think it could have taken him to a place to want to just "be free" for awhile? Was he, possibly, in search of himself? Do you think he felt too confined by his obligations?
Yes I do, which is why I think he may be hiking the PCtrail or in mexico surfing.
What is strange to me about Derek's disappearance is that he seemed very close and open with friends-- Shuhan for example. Long talks about future aspirations, throwing around alternate ideas, etc. He had a lot of support. So why was his departure done secretively and left a mystery? It seems to be the one thing he wasn't open about?
Shuhan, no need to go into specifics. Are you aware of any other times where Derek kept either thoughts or events very secret to himself and purposely went out of his way to keep information from friends/family?
no problem. Thank you for your time and attention
1) no. We chatted for 4 hours in a heart to heart on Saturday. It was great, optimistic, and there was a lot of excitement about the future
2) might be. My subjective opinion is that he is not in Los Angeles. However, my decision making is more of a differential: SD vs Pacific coast trail vs. mexico vs. Los angeles, in that order. Not one has become much stronger than any other on the differential.
3. the loan was to pay for med school. the friend that lent it to him was a close friend and gave it to him, as he works as a google engineer and makes good money, whereas Derek did not as a poor/in debt med student.
Wow...do you realize what a treasure trove you are to us?
I know you are 1) so busy with with your own obligations and 2) dealing with all the emotions from your close friend missing...
But I just want to pause and say that I am so sorry about all the pain/stress this kind of hard personal situation brings... and I am so darn leery of people outside my close-knit group, but I swear you have people on this site who care. My analytical side was not being challenged enough in life -- so I added a dose of WS -- and that is why I am here! I want to make a difference, in whatever small way, and I am sure most everyone here feels exactly the same. We feel for you, and we just want Derek to come back.
Okay, enough with the fuzzies -- guys can only handle so much of that.
Wow, you talked to him for four hours...and I will just go out HOG WILD here and say we all think you are very smart (because we'd have to be IDIOTS if we couldn't figure that out from the press conference)...I've had a very painful experience in having a dear friend "take off," and I will say my friend (truly like a big brother to me) "hid" from me as much as he could before he went missing...he later told me that is because he knew I would be able to tell something was wrong with him...so this seems different, from my limited knowledge. If Derek spoke with you that long, wow. That's not "hider" mode, for sure.
Okay, this is brutal territory now...wow, what hapened to the "warm fuzzies," huh?
You...as his friend...can you tell me what is most prominent in your mind of what could have happened with Derek? What does your gut tell you?