CA CA - Ember Graham, 7 mo., Happy Valley, 2 July 2015 - #1

[Lilibet]

I think the Mom has probably sobbed in private and still does. But "Mama Bear" instinct kicks in too. Although I see why people think she's abnormally calm, a Mom is capable of putting her intense emotions aside part of the time for the sake of her baby. I have no doubt that any Mom here who thinks they wouldn't be able to function would be running on adrenalin and doing everything possible to get publicity for their missing child (after having the initial breakdown or two or three).

For now, I'm going to cut her some slack for babbling so calmly to the media. I'll even cut her some slack for saying her baby "was" her rock and then correcting herself to "is." My opinion may change later, but right now I'm taking a wait and see attitude. JMO

 

[nikb]

LE doesn't assign people to help with social media that I'm aware of but they could easily ask people to stop searching unless they're with a certified rescue organization

and whoever is running the page(s) can moderate better

True. I wish they did/could assign someone to help with this though. I think social media really can be helpful, but it's hard when it goes out of control.

 

[T4Tide]

I wasn't blessed with any children and I wondered if parents really do go into the baby's room at 5am (seems to always be 5ish in these cases) to check on the baby? I could see checking in if its later than the usual time the baby wakes up but 5? Just find that odd. tia

IMO, there is some truth to the 5am thing. My babies never slept through the night consistently until they were closer to a year. My now 10 month old is in a stage where she sleeps from 9pm until around 7:30am two or three nights in a row, and then the next two nights are fitful, or she wakes up to eat at 3 or 4am. She's just not consistent. Prior to that, she'd wake 2 to 3 times a night....say around 1 or 2ish, then 4ish, then morning. The first time they sleep through those 1-4am feedings, I usually woke around 5am with a sense of panic. Omg! The baby hasn't cried.....and you run in to check, just to find your sweet pea snoozing away. But in those seconds that it takes to lay your eyes on them, there's a fear in your heart that you might find a horrible situation. Plus, 5am is a common time for people to awaken for work (so they say.....I'm allergic to work. Haha)

 

[MsMarple]

Can you tell us about the debate?

RSBM

A family member on the Graham side started a asking for donations for flyers, advertisements, water and food for volunteer search teams, and any other avenue or resource the family will use to find Ember.

The grandmother on the mom's side posted a request to not donate, saying they did not need any funds at the moment and that people have been voluntarily supplying all of the above. A Graham family member got mad and much fighting ensued among all the posters.

 

[giagreen]

I think its situational. For me my son was usually up between 4-5 am and by the time he was sleeping threw I was naturally getting up at that time and obviously would check on my son because I don't know what parent wouldn't check on their child first thing waking up.
Last year a baby went missing. The parents called the police around 5am and it turned out someone really did take their baby amd that woman is in jail now for it. So I mean that's a legit case of parents waking up at 5am to report an actual kidnapping.

 

[T4Tide]

I hope he didn't snap when he could not console the fussy infant.

Today, my daughter was being an absolute pill about her nap. Oh em gee....I rocked, I patted, I put her in her crib and let her fuss, I took her back out again and tried laying with her.....like, nothing would work. I do not claim to be the most patient person, but I love my babies with all my heart and would never hurt them. I thought about baby Ember during this time. How would a drugged out, impatient, inexperienced father handle the same the torture my little angel was putting me through? I was getting frustrated with her, but my knowledge, experience, love, and learned restraint kept me from acting out on those frustrations. Parents without these coping skills scare me, and bring lots of cases to WS.

Btw, she finally gave it up and she and I both had a good snooze curled up together in Mama's bed.

 

[T4Tide]

NO, they don't. I'm surprised you know this having no children. I had three kids. And NO, parents don't check on 7 month old babies at 5 a.m. I know others disagreed with me earlier in this thread, but honestly, as a mother of 3 NO, no parents check on a 7 month old at 5 a.m.

I am in no way supporting MG, but I have 5 children, and I have more than once checked on them at every possible hour of the night. I am a light sleeper though, and if I get up to pee or get a drink, or even if I heard the dogs bark outside, I check on my baby while I am up.....whether it's 2am, 3am, 4am or so on. Sometimes I get a wild hair and check on all my kids, even the 3 older boys upstairs and my daughter downstairs. Sometimes I check the doors again when I'm up. Heck, I've even been known to rotate laundry just because I got up to pee. [emoji3] [emoji3] My hubby? Never does any of this, but he's not me and we have completely different sleeping patterns.

 

[Confusion]

I haven't seen this suggested anywhere, but it was one of the first things that entered my mind. If his truck was seen out and about that night, and he's been known to have problems with mood altering substances, isn't it possible that he saw her at 10:30/11:00 pm before going out for the night, got home about 5:00 am and found her gone? It would still mean he was a totally irresponsible parent, but not necessarily a violent one. I think he'd have as much trouble trying to cover that up as he would if he'd caused her death. I'm guessing that he would have told them by now if that were the case, but he could also feel like he's stuck with his (poorly thought out) story now that he's told it.

:thinking: As always, just trying to cover all possibilities.

 

[MsMarple]

According to mom Ember usually woke around 2:30 am.

Per his [WG] conversations with his daughter-in-law, Ember usually wakes up at 2 a.m., and that may be the time she was taken from her crib, he said.

http://www.redding.com/news/local-n...continues-family-sheds-light-on-case_66186598

MG never said anything about Ember waking up at that time. He said he last saw her at 10:30 pm the night before and when he woke up around 5 am she was missing. Certainly a baby can sleep through the night here and there but that could be a fatal flaw in his story.

We don't know the history of JG and MG so we don't know how much hands on time he's spent co-parenting Ember but if he hasn't been around her a lot he wouldn't know her sleep patterns. And therefore he wouldn't mention her waking up at 2:30 am if he was making up a false story. Right now that's just a suspicion on my part but to me it points to Ember not being in the trailer at that time.

I really can't see an abduction here and I think the sheriff is right that it would be hard not to hear any commotion in such a tiny trailer. Plus we've got a bunch of dogs around. And MG apparently lied about his movements that night and maybe about the timeline. It doesn't look good.

 

[inkpink]

I haven't seen this suggested anywhere, but it was one of the first things that entered my mind. If his truck was seen out and about that night, and he's been known to have problems with mood altering substances, isn't it possible that he saw her at 10:30/11:00 pm before going out for the night, got home about 5:00 am and found her gone? It would still mean he was a totally irresponsible parent, but not necessarily a violent one. I think he'd have as much trouble trying to cover that up as he would if he'd caused her death. I'm guessing that he would have told them by now if that were the case, but he could also feel like he's stuck with his (poorly thought out) story now that he's told it.

:thinking: As always, just trying to cover all possibilities.

I have had the exact same thoughts.

I'm not sure of the layout of the property and it's position among other houses. Could someone have heard the baby crying, went to check and found a unsupervised baby and have then decided to take her????

It's a bit of a stretch but not impossible I guess, probably not likely though........

 

[TeganJeff]

I think the Mom has probably sobbed in private and still does. But "Mama Bear" instinct kicks in too. Although I see why people think she's abnormally calm, a Mom is capable of putting her intense emotions aside part of the time for the sake of her baby. I have no doubt that any Mom here who thinks they wouldn't be able to function would be running on adrenalin and doing everything possible to get publicity for their missing child (after having the initial breakdown or two or three).

For now, I'm going to cut her some slack for babbling so calmly to the media. I'll even cut her some slack for saying her baby "was" her rock and then correcting herself to "is." My opinion may change later, but right now I'm taking a wait and see attitude. JMO

This!
My 11 year old daughter has Down Syndrome. She woke up before all of us and decided that she wanted to go for a walk outside. When I woke up and found the front door open I started to panic, but something kicked in and for the next 2 hours I was calm and collected. As soon as we found her though, I completely lost it. Bawled like a little baby!! Worst day of my life hands down...


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[inkpink]

http://www.krcrtv.com/sheriff-missing-baby-ember-most-likely-not-alive/34025116

This

Shasta County Sheriff Tom Bosenko said given the time that has passed and the heat over the last five days, they are looking to recover the body of baby Ember to see if there's any "recoverable evidence there."

and this

The Sheriff said although Graham has not been charged in connection to the disappearance of Ember, their sites are squarely set on him as a person of interest.

"Matthew is still considered a person of interest and yes, recovering the body can provide in some cases, a lot of evidence value that would certainly help the case with prosecution. We are looking at a number of other charges that could also be brought against him as well," Bosenko stated in regards to Graham.

and this

The Graham family has connections to the Sheriff's Office, Matthew's mother Sheila is a former deputy, and she too is standing behind her son.

 

[catswhiskers]

A new video has been put out, comments from the mother directly. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a5kY-1OVABI&feature=youtu.be

Courtesy of the Redding Record Searchlight

Some of the other videos posted by Redding Record Searchlight are worth a watch as well - I think I'd seen this same one with MG's father before, but it's worth a re-watch:
[video=youtube;EPXSdAKP23I]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPXSdAKP23I"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPXSdAKP23I[/video]

I really don't get the feeling that MG would have harmed Ember himself - his own dad seems very genuine and insistent in the link above, as does JG, who doesn't seem the type who would just stand by him foolishly and cover for him.

 

[m_brown]

I just don't know what to think. I agree that everyone handles these things differently. Mom is probably crying herself to sleep as night [emoji20] I honestly wasn't trying to insinuate that she knows any more than she is saying or was involved. I just honestly don't know if I could do those interviews without at least choking up.

But I am a crier lol. I still tear up when I think of my Grandma who passed several years ago.

I wonder if family has visited him in jail. Is that even allowed at this point? Maybe Dad needs to have a heart to heart with his son.

 

[MsMarple]

http://www.krcrtv.com/sheriff-missing-baby-ember-most-likely-not-alive/34025116

This

Shasta County Sheriff Tom Bosenko said given the time that has passed and the heat over the last five days, they are looking to recover the body of baby Ember to see if there's any "recoverable evidence there."

and this

The Sheriff said although Graham has not been charged in connection to the disappearance of Ember, their sites are squarely set on him as a person of interest.

"Matthew is still considered a person of interest and yes, recovering the body can provide in some cases, a lot of evidence value that would certainly help the case with prosecution. We are looking at a number of other charges that could also be brought against him as well," Bosenko stated in regards to Graham.

and this

The Graham family has connections to the Sheriff's Office, Matthew's mother Sheila is a former deputy, and she too is standing behind her son.

I think we all knew this was going to become a recovery mission at some point. But it doesn't make it feel any better.

 

[MsFacetious]

When your baby has a medical condition you SHOULD check on them at 5am, yes.
I checked on my kids several times throughout the night.
I can't imagine not checking on a baby multiple times, especially one with seizures.
Checking on her at 5am doesn't make me suspicious.

I was 18 and 19 when my girls were born. I still checked on them frequently.
The one time one of them disappeared at about 2 years old I was rational enough to search.
(Water, hot cars, the road, the horse pasture) but when we found her I lost it completely for like an hour.

 

[Lilibet]

I just don't know what to think. I agree that everyone handles these things differently. Mom is probably crying herself to sleep as night [emoji20] I honestly wasn't trying to insinuate that she knows any more than she is saying or was involved. I just honestly don't know if I could do those interviews without at least choking up.

But I am a crier lol. I still tear up when I think of my Grandma who passed several years ago.

I wonder if family has visited him in jail. Is that even allowed at this point? Maybe Dad needs to have a heart to heart with his son.

BBM

Oh dear, I didn't think you or anyone else was insinuating anything about her. I'm sorry it across that way. I just think we all are capable of more than we think we are, especially when it comes to our kids. I do remember her choking up a lot in earlier interviews. She may be taking little nibbles of Xanax by now (I would!).

I'm a crier too. But I can run on autopilot calm mode in emergencies, and collapse in a puddle of tears later. So sorry about your grandma. Hugs!

 

[kimi_SFC]

SHASTA COUNTY, California

http://www.redding.com/news/local-n...e-sheriff-calls-abduction-improbable_16402678

More at the link.

RSBM:

Also from your link:

(snip)
The sheriff’s office said search and rescue teams searched: Clear Creek Road from Honeybee Road west to the water tower on Cloverdale Road, Bureau of Land Management Cloverdale trailhead recreation and surrounding areas, Cloverdale Road south to Dale Lane and Panther Road areas, and Clear Creek drainage from the Veterans Bridge, south to the Gorge overlook along the water’s edge and embankments.

"We are still looking for the public’s assistance,” Bosenko said.

Anyone with information about Ember Graham is asked to call the Major Crimes Unit at 245-6135 or Sheriff’s Records at 245-6025. Information can also be sent to the Sheriff’s Major Crimes Unit email address: mcu@co.shasta.ca.us.


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[bbyjp]

I don't know why people keep saying that hard drug users love sweets. That isn't true. I've deal with so much drug crap if anyone is gonna be eating well on drugs its gonna be because they smoked a fatty. People on a hard drugs do not crave sugary stuff. I'm talking with a few ex meth heads right now and they all laugh at the thought of even eating well on hard drugs. It just isn't true.

I don't know about meth, but while I was all strung-out on pills and H, I ate a lot of candy. It's something that's definitely joked about in NA. Maybe not every user is like that, but there's some truth. And yeah, you don't eat well and you probably don't eat much.

 

[bbyjp]

Also, I remember reading that Jamie said the baby usually wakes up once a night around 2-2:30 AM.