Can child molesters be rehabilitated?????

[southcitymom]

Is NAMBLA pushing for pedophilia to be considered normal, just a sexual orientation much as homosexuality or opposite sex attraction? Of course wanting to rape is never considered an orientation and no child wants to have sex with some ugly perverted creep.

I do think that NAMBLA would like for pedophelia to be considered normal. I do, as I have said before, considered pedophelia a sexual orientation. I do not think NAMBLA is any where close to achieving their goal.

 

[White Rain]

Seeking Jana and Filly...
do yall know someone that you KNOW has committed child molestation?
Or is it that you only THINK you may know someone...

 

[SeekingJana]

One thing I have wondered about castration of pedophiles who molest or other child sexual offenders - would they then harm in another way? If we accept that rape is a crime of violence and if that is completely true, then wouldn't the person just offend with some other object if his sexual organs and the drive behind them were gone? (ie - maybe he would strike with his fists instead of strike sexually).

I don't know - just thinking out loud.

It seems to me that castration would remove a person's sex drive for whatever they desired - men, women, children. I'm not convinced that all pedophiles are violent - though, of course, if they act on their desires they will always cause violence.

I don't care if pedophiles are ' considered dangerous' or not. The moment they act on their ideal sexual desire, i.e., having any sexual contact or sexual obsession for a child, then they are deviants.

If you have children, do you want sexual deviants around them?
Castrate every single one of them, put them on lifelong female hormone injections, and then maybe our collective children and grandchildren will have the happy, carefree childhoods which they are entitled to.

 

[SeekingJana]

Seeking Jana and Filly...
do yall know someone that you KNOW has committed child molestation?
Or is it that you only THINK you may know someone...

I answered the question without equivocation.
I do NOT know anyone who has molested a child.

However, because child molesters often molest the weakest and least vocal members of society, they often go undetected for years before they are caught, if they ever are.
My statement that I could know someone ( in my personal life) who just hasn't been caught yet was based solely on statistics. I am not naive enough to think that I live in a bubble.

I can tell you this though- If I even suspect that a child is being abused, neglected or in any way harmed, the state's Child Protective Services and local law enforcement are notified to check on the child ASAP. I also name the suspected perpetrator and why I think the abuse or neglect is happening.
I've done it more times than I can count, and always will.

I don't want anyone to ever think that I would conceal knowledge or suspicion of child endangerment for a second. Far from it. I have been threatened many times for being a child advocate.
I say " Bring it on!!"

Maria

 

[SeekingJana]

I do think that NAMBLA would like for pedophelia to be considered normal. I do, as I have said before, considered pedophelia a sexual orientation. I do not think NAMBLA is any where close to achieving their goal.

Pedophilia is a sexual deviancy. Period.

 

[White Rain]

I answered the question without equivocation.
I do NOT know anyone who has molested a child.

However, because child molesters often molest the weakest and least vocal members of society, they often go undetected for years before they are caught, if they ever are.
My statement that I could know someone ( in my personal life) who just hasn't been caught yet was based solely on statistics. I am not naive enough to think that I live in a bubble.

I can tell you this though- If I even suspect that a child is being abused, neglected or in any way harmed, the state's Child Protective Services and local law enforcement are notified to check on the child ASAP. I also name the suspected perpetrator and why I think the abuse or neglect is happening.
I've done it more times than I can count, and always will.

I don't want anyone to ever think that I would conceal knowledge or suspicion of child endangerment for a second. Far from it. I have been threatened many times for being a child advocate.
I say " Bring it on!!"

Maria

I think that you mis-took my response the wrong way...I did not mean to suggest you thought someone was a molester yet did nothing.

 

[southcitymom]

...If you have children, do you want sexual deviants around them?....

That's an interesting question. Sexual deviance doesn't bother or offend me and deviance is often in the eye of the beholder.

Some people might not want their children around homosexuals because that is deviant from what we consider the norm of sexuality. But I have gay friends who are around my children - sometimes with significant others - and that doesn't bother me a whit.

That said, I would not knowingly let my children be alone with a pediphile because I would be concerned that the pedophile might devlope sexual feelings for my children - and, as we all agree, no good can come of that.

Now, if one day I found out that one of my grown children was a pedophile and attracted only to prepubescent children, I would do what I could to help him.

 

[southcitymom]

Pedophilia is a sexual deviancy. Period.

In psych circles I think it's called a paraphilia. And yes, it is obviously deviant from the norm. It's not normal for adults to be sexually attracted to children.

 

[SeekingJana]

I think that you mis-took my response the wrong way...I did not mean to suggest you thought someone was a molester yet did nothing.

:blowkiss: I know. I just wanted to make it clear that I would not be silent if I had knowledge or suspicion, but that statistically, I probably do know an unapprehended child molester.

 

[SeekingJana]

In psych circles I think it's called a paraphilia. And yes, it is obviously deviant from the norm. It's not normal for adults to be sexually attracted to children.

Pedophilia is one of many Paraphilias. Some Paraphilias are quite common to some degree and are neither criminal nor harmful to society.

For the clarity and simplification of discussion here, I chose to refer to the more common term of Pedophilia when discussing the sexual impulse disorder of adult sexual behavior with a child.

From the DSM- IV:
"Paraphilias as defined by DSM-IV, are sexual impulse disorders characterized by intensely arousing, recurrent sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors (of at least six months' duration) that are considered deviant with respect to cultural norms and that produce clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of psychosocial functioning. The common paraphilias described include exhibitionism (exposure of genitals to a stranger), pedophilia (sexual activity with a prepubescent child, generally 13 years of age or younger), voyeurism (observing others' sexual activities), fetishism (use of inert objects, such as female undergarments), transvestic fetishism (cross-dressing), sexual sadism (inflicting suffering or humiliation), sexual masochism (being humiliated, beaten, bound or made to suffer) and frotteurism (touching, rubbing against a nonconsenting person).
Although several of these disorders can be associated with aggression or harm, others are neither inherently violent nor aggressive (e.g., fetishism, transvestic fetishism).

Paraphilias are predominantly male sexuality disorders with an estimated sex differences ratio of 20:1 in sexual masochism."

Thank you
Maria

 

[southcitymom]

Pedophilia is one of many Paraphilias. Some Paraphilias are quite common to some degree and are neither criminal nor harmful to society.

For the clarity and simplification of discussion here, I chose to refer to the more common term of Pedophilia when discussing the sexual impulse disorder of adult sexual behavior with a child.

From the DSM- IV:
"Paraphilias as defined by DSM-IV, are sexual impulse disorders characterized by intensely arousing, recurrent sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors (of at least six months' duration) that are considered deviant with respect to cultural norms and that produce clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of psychosocial functioning. The common paraphilias described include exhibitionism (exposure of genitals to a stranger), pedophilia (sexual activity with a prepubescent child, generally 13 years of age or younger), voyeurism (observing others' sexual activities), fetishism (use of inert objects, such as female undergarments), transvestic fetishism (cross-dressing), sexual sadism (inflicting suffering or humiliation), sexual masochism (being humiliated, beaten, bound or made to suffer) and frotteurism (touching, rubbing against a nonconsenting person).
Although several of these disorders can be associated with aggression or harm, others are neither inherently violent nor aggressive (e.g., fetishism, transvestic fetishism).

Paraphilias are predominantly male sexuality disorders with an estimated sex differences ratio of 20:1 in sexual masochism."

Thank you
Maria

Of all the paraphilias I am aware of, only pedophelia and bestiality (when acted upon) always involve harm to a non-consenting sentient being.

 

[believe09]

If a male has even fantasized about hurting a child, in my perfect world, he would get the treatment outlined in my post above yours.

I agree, prevention is crucial, but these men cannot be prevented without serious alterations to their sick sex drives, their aggressiveness, and their physical desire to touch, look at, or otherwise hurt any child, ever.

BTW, I would do the same thing to men who hurt women- if I was 'Queen Of The World' and had the power to do so .

let's include those women out there as well, please-I have all kinds of opinions on women who participate in the sexual abuse of children. Especially as a mom myself.

 

[SeekingJana]

let's include those women out there as well, please-I have all kinds of opinions on women who participate in the sexual abuse of children. Especially as a mom myself.

Men are overwhelmingly the sex offenders in this world due to their aggressive natures and their different hormones. If male offenders were controlled, violent sex crimes would drindle to a miniscule fraction. I am also aware that when women offend in child sexual abuse, usually they have been abused sexually, or are still under the control of a man who is a sexual predator.

However, you are correct in your statement that women who abuse children, including sexual abuse, need to face the music too!

 

[SewingDeb]

Does anyone here personally know a child molester who has been rehabilitated? I know I don't.

 

[paddy01]

I will never believe that they can be rehabilitated, so my answer is no. The person responsible for robbing myself and my sisters of our innocence and childhood was a repeat sex offender. It did not matter the sex of the child, although he did prefer littles girls more, and the younger the better. He preyed on women with children that's how he came to be in our lives.
Later we found out that the woman he was with before my mother had 3 children, 2 girls & a boy, he had abused them also. They should have locked this man up for life. I truly believe had this man not died 1991, he would still be abusing children.

 

[southcitymom]

Does anyone here personally know a child molester who has been rehabilitated? I know I don't.

Sewing, I know two people well - one male and one female (I described the female earlier in this thread) who molested a child at one point in their life but certainly don't, IMHO, seem capable or predisposed to doing that now or ever again.

I also know well another women who had sexual contact of her initiation with her 5-years-younger brother when she was 15 and he was 10. This woman does not - to the best of my knowledge - remember the molestation, but the younger brother does and he had to work through some of those issues when he was older. This woman seems completely incapable of ever doing such a thing again and, I believe, has blocked out those instances entirely.

As I have said repeatedly, I believe there can be specific instances of hope and redemption and change, however I also believe that, en masse, child molesters reoffend.

 

[southcitymom]

I will never believe that they can be rehabilitated, so my answer is no. The person responsible for robbing myself and my sisters of our innocence and childhood was a repeat sex offender. It did not matter the sex of the child, although he did prefer littles girls more, and the younger the better. He preyed on women with children that's how he came to be in our lives.
Later we found out that the woman he was with before my mother had 3 children, 2 girls & a boy, he had abused them also. They should have locked this man up for life. I truly believe had this man not died 1991, he would still be abusing children.

Love to you, paddy. :blowkiss: Your abuser sounds almost identical to the man who molested my youngest sister. He was her godfather and his wife was her godmother.

I believe he also molested his two adopted daughters and I know he molested my sister. God knows how many others there might have been. He did not molest me but I was alone with him at times and got creeped out. When my sisters and I were grown, he and his wife moved to California where, to the best of my knowledge, he was "caught" for the first time ever for abusing a young neighbor sister and brother. He did some jail time.

He and his wife are back in SC and my sisters and I have no contact with them at all even though our paths cross from time to time.

 

[richandfamous]

only if their brain and genitals are removed

 

[SewingDeb]

SCM,

Thanks. I must have missed your earlier post.

How could a 15 year old forget molesting her little brother? If she was two, it might be believable. I guess anything is possible but that's a little strange since she was not the victim.

I agree, that en masse, child molesters reoffend. I do applaud anyone who are able to change but I don't think most molesters want to change.

Anyone else know any who have been rehabilitated?

 

[southcitymom]

SCM,

Thanks. I must have missed your earlier post.

How could a 15 year old forget molesting her little brother? If she was two, it might be believable. I guess anything is possible but that's a little strange since she was not the victim.

I agree, that en masse, child molesters reoffend. I do applaud anyone who are able to change but I don't think most molesters want to change.

Anyone else know any who have been rehabilitated?

Sewing Deb,

I think she has supressed the memories. It occurred during a traumatic time in both of their lives. She was drinking and using drugs heavily. Brother and sister are very close today and they both live examined lives. She is a Master's Level therapist who works with addicts and alcohlics and she is a very good woman. Who knows where those memories are and if they will ever rear their heads?

I think pedophiles who molest repeatedly have simply decided that they are going to have a sex life, consequences to others be damned. Of course this is absolutely selfish, but the sexual drive is a selfish thing.

I try to imagine what I would do if acting out on my heterosexual desires would always harm an innocent - would I really be strong enough to never have the type of sex I wanted to have - to only satisfy myself with my own fantasy world. Of course, I want to think I would make the right choice, but I have made many wrong choices in the face of my sexual desires, so I do not know. I think it would be an excrutiating position to find yourself in.

I think that's what we face with molesters who are pedophiles and that's why it's damn near impossible to rehabilitate them. I know there are people in this world willing and able to forego sexual fulfillment for the course of their life for one reason or another, but those people are completely in the minority.

Situational molesters have a better chance of finding a different path because their sexual desires are not hard-wired for children. Yet they do just as much damage to children as pedophiles.