I posted this in the "Will Cindy, George, and Lee deny the abuse" thread but wanted to post it over here, It has been weighing on my mind for a long time now, so here goes:
Here is what sticks in my craw, I think there are a lot of different things (pathologies, personality disorders, narcissism, etc.)going on in this family, that I don't think that it is one thing (Casey is a sociopath) exclusive to all others (Cindy is a narcissist, co-dependant etc.). I personally think George may be Bipolar (temper issues, spotty job history- up and down personality), but that doesn't trump the fact that Casey may be a sociopath (I might be missing something but is there a rule that sociopaths or psychopaths are never potentially the victims of abuse, neglect, or sexual assaults?).
I think the conflict and confusion comes from trying to separate it all out. Casey can be all of the things many of us think about her, but does that mean George and Cindy or even Lee are mentally healthy because it is Casey who is the problem? What a perfect victim Casey would be (if someone was inappropriate with her)- she's a known liar and lives in a fantasy world- perpetrators can smell a victim like that a mile away. Even if she is a sociopath, when she was little how threatening do you think she was to her grown mother and father, family members, neighbors and friends? Because she is a sociopath she could never have been harmed by others- (not even saying a victim by the family)- An outsider would readily smell the overlapping dysfunction of a family such as this and could easily take advantage of the fact that this strange, lying child would never be believed.
This is why I have such a hard time with all of this overlapping symptomology (that's not even a word), but I hope someone gets my point?! Please... anyone? I don't think the issues in this family are simple or relative to only one family member... I think their issues are comingled and feed off of one another. Caylee was maybe the golden child... the hope for something new... and maybe her appearance here was brief, and to bring a bright light to spotlight this families illness and dysfunction- to put an end to it! This family will no longer be able to feed off of itself. Casey is going to jail or being put to death. Lee will be getting married, and hopefully will be moving on, and Cindy and George will make it together, or they won't, but this family will no longer function in the sick manner it did in the past.
If (and this is a big if) Casey was the only 'problem' in this otherwise 'normal' family and these grown adults (an ex cop and a nurse- both college educated) allowed this sociopathic daughter to control and wield unbridled power over society, her sibling, her aged Grandparents, and a defenseless child, all to keep Casey happy and contained (as everyone suggests people with a sociopath do) then that in and of itself is the weakest, sickest, most pathological thing I have heard, and George and Cindy should feel guilty for what happened to that baby and ashamed for what they allowed Casey to do... unabated and unrestrained and certainly not unknown to them- if that is the case.
Can't wait til tomorrow- maybe, just maybe, we will start to get some answers... some honest answers to the questions and disagreements that have plagued us for almost three years now.
RespecfullyQuoted Frigga :hug:
BBM
:yes: Everything is everything.
When I place blame on anyone, it is blame that I would feel if I were them. It's not that I am sitting back and "just blaming"-I feel that way because I could not feel anything other than blame if I were in that person's shoes. There are events that occurred before Caylee went missing that if I were the one involved, I would have put blame on myself, let alone her murder. I have a theory that if you are the type of person who accepts blame, then you won't (probably)find yourself in a situation where people are screaming at you that you are to blame for something you don't think you have any blame for.
Long paragraph a little shorter: Woundn't any mentally healthy adult feel guilt if their granddaughter was killed? I mean, even if it not the person's fault-my experience of being a human being is-you feel guilt regardless. All of that said goes for Casey double. Even if she was innocent, where is the guilt?
I agree they feed off of each other, a den of dysfunction with a full blown sociopath(possibly)at the center. You can say it is all because of that sociopathy that Cindy is what she is-maybe she did not become the ball of dysfunction that we see today until after Casey was born? Are all of Cindy's choices and behaviors because she was being abused by Casey? That is different than how I have seen things, and I admit it is difficult for me to see things that way. I feel that if I see it that way then I must see Casey as a force that is capable of making good people do bad things. It takes the personal responsibility and free will away from Cindy. KWIM? I guess it scares me to think that if I 'loved' a sociopath, they could abuse me into becoming...well, Cindy. I like to think I have more character than that...but I'll be real glad not to have to test that theory...
How's that for: does that make sense? Anyone?
kay:
This is like which came first? The chicken or the egg? Right? That is what I feel you are expressing here Frigga. I can't help but say, and we are in the psych thread so take this as from my fevered mind; soul has to make the difference.
the golden child... the hope for something new... and maybe her appearance here was brief, and to bring a bright light to spotlight this families illness and dysfunction- to put an end to it! This family will no longer be able to feed off of itself. I believe that Frigga. I believe this could be the task of a great loving soul.
It all seems airy fairy but what grounds me is the realization there must be a sickness in humanity. We see its horrifying effects in the world in a thousand different abuses and dysfunctions. I can see a future day for humanity when we will look back and understand that humanity as a whole was suffering from certain mental illnesses. Each individual manifests that illness to different degrees, of course. Just like any disease it may effect one and not the other. It is difficult for us to take what Casey did as a mental defect, but it must be, she must be ill-she is ill to have been able to do what she did to another living being.
That is not the same as her being, -as far as our time and what is true under the law- and what most think of as mentally ill. Eventually we may acknowledge and understand, there are people like this among us, to be able to heal it. I believe it may be what is said to be an ancient survival behavior/personality. It served humanity for a time, but it does not translate to who humanity has become. In the future Casey may be seen as a inheritor of "all the worst" humanity has to offer. If born in another time, Casey's way of being may have made her a successful and loved war lord.
The majority of humanity is not ready to see themselves or others in these terms. I am aware of these concepts and they are all great and that but I am also living in this time. Casey is beholden to the era, as she might have been a successful loved/feared character in the past-she is a monster in the present. Even as I can try to see this from a universal perspective, I am still flesh and blood and so was Caylee Marie. There is right and wrong on this planet and Casey did what was most wrong. In my opinion, the proof of what she is, "a sociopath", is in the fact she does not understand that-a dinosaur who does not belong. "Why do people kill people who kill people?" Shows how deeply Casey is out of touch with humanity. She feels justified in her slaying of Caylee yet questions the feelings of a need for justice- Caylee's death created in others. She does not recognize the innocent unless it is herself.
I thank each and every single person who has shared on Websleuths during this case. To quote Jerry, "what a long strange trip its been." The truth is I don't know if I know any more about Casey or her family and why they are the way they are than I did before I came here. Anyone here with what they have shared is helping us all to understand this type of sickness, IMHO.
What I do know is: I know a lot more good people for having been here. Every one at Websleuths. There may have been ideas I did not feel exactly the same about but there were never feelings or thoughts that I could not understand, relate to or respect. :tyou:
Tuesday is tomorrow. And tomorrow is another day. Namaste~
:cow:
