Chiquita71
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- Feb 3, 2009
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Hello WS
I am writing about this in this way because we are on the psych thread. Whether or not someone is "good looking" or not should never go beyond our first initial shallow sometimes instinctual minds. All loving caring people would push any such thoughts(we all have them)out of their minds(and they do)and with awareness of their issues with the physical, use a deeper part of their intellect and being to continue forming an opinion. The issue of judging people by their looks is certainly a dialog humanity needs to have and I feel this issue is one part psychology and two parts learned cultural behavior that can be changed with time and understanding.
I have been called ugly and fat and gross, disgusting, a pig. I am one of the ugly people. I have seen boys look at my picture and give a collective "whoa!" (insert group laughter here along with back slaps, and high fives to give praise to he who gave the best insult) "Put a bag on that! Damn!"
I have also been called beautiful, and sexy. Intelligent and passionate. I have had a man who thought me so incredible as a woman inside and out, that he asked me to marry him. And people have been so bold as to go up to my husband, with me in the room and ask him what he is doing with me.
So, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.
I do not find Lee nor George good looking in the least.
I rarely think the people who other people think are "hot", are hot. I don't think of too many people that way. I have found a handful of people sexually attractive in my life. Other than love/sexual feelings toward someone, it does not matter to me what people look like. Some people, male and female have a captivating beauty that I admire but what I am finding beautiful is usually not what is the "traditional" idea of beauty. I do not like to use the term traditional idea of beauty, precisely because it is only the ideal of a few.
I have been judged for my looks and so I don't do that to other people. We all have a type we naturally find our selves attracted to, and I think that is different than judging people.
Casey and Cindy are also not my idea of beauty. I don't think the super models are good looking. Here I am being no different than anyone else saying someone isn't beautiful but it is crazy that only those who think they are beautiful think they have the corner market on thinking people are ugly.
The people you think are ugly might think you are ugly too.
There is a culture that wishes for their teeth to be black. The men and women take measures to darken blacken their teeth. They find the look to be the utmost in beauty. There is a culture where the women use rings to stretch their necks, elongating them by several inches. She who has the longest neck is most beautiful. Traditional people tend to think Europeans are funny looking, nay I say ugly. That includes Marlyn Monroe, and Megan Fox.
It needs to be said that beauty being in the eye of the beholder is not just a pretty quote. It is truth. So that is why any discussion of someone being pretty or ugly is just a shallow judgement made by someone or someones and not at all reality or the truth.
Neither is "Beauty is only skin deep" only a pretty quote, it is truth. I have seen someone and thought they were so beautiful but then I saw them act ugly and that is how I saw them from then on. Casey is that way. Regardless if she was ever beautiful, she could longer be that because of what she did to Caylee. :twocents:
People do see and talk about beauty but that is different than those people who actually judge and make true decisions based on other people's looks. Beauty is all around us and meant to be enjoyed, it is one of the biggest parts of the human experience. It is all in who and what you find beauty, and why you find it beautiful. imo.
Saying people are going to judge anyway is a cop out and to say "that's the way it is" is wrong. That is like saying some people judge based on skin color but "that's just the way it is" no, that is just the way it is for people who are like that. When I find myself judging something, anything based only on what it looks like: I would be ignorant to the highest degree to think anything other than I am the one in error. It is I who is being ugly.
So the "facts may be" that people "judge" by looks but only shallow people stay in that place. Non shallow people will have that instant "like or dislike" moment when seeing something for the first time: our brains are wired this way-but for those who actually judge someone on their looks-that is a whole 'nother issue. That is the kind of people the Anthony's are: they proved that to me during the Morgan and Morgan interview when Cindy showed her ignorance and shallow heart in saying "Zanny was a ten" and that the woman in front of her was "not a ten." I am sure Cindy would defend herself for her words, she sees nothing wrong because 'people judge based on looks', right?
When you say, "hey people are gonna judge what you look like" you reveal yourself to be one of those people. And, saying it is "the way it is" does not make it right. The people that hire people because they are thin and do not hire people because they are fat, are not right. They are sad and ignorant and what is "just the way it is" is the fact that shallow people are allowed to make important decisions. :snooty:
Not everyone is like that, who is it that admits they judge people like this and feels fine in saying so? Not good people. Those of us who are considered "ugly" sure do not see the world in that way and we would be ashamed to admit we had treated someone different in anyway because of what we perceive on the outside.
:cow:
I am writing about this in this way because we are on the psych thread. Whether or not someone is "good looking" or not should never go beyond our first initial shallow sometimes instinctual minds. All loving caring people would push any such thoughts(we all have them)out of their minds(and they do)and with awareness of their issues with the physical, use a deeper part of their intellect and being to continue forming an opinion. The issue of judging people by their looks is certainly a dialog humanity needs to have and I feel this issue is one part psychology and two parts learned cultural behavior that can be changed with time and understanding.
I have been called ugly and fat and gross, disgusting, a pig. I am one of the ugly people. I have seen boys look at my picture and give a collective "whoa!" (insert group laughter here along with back slaps, and high fives to give praise to he who gave the best insult) "Put a bag on that! Damn!"
I have also been called beautiful, and sexy. Intelligent and passionate. I have had a man who thought me so incredible as a woman inside and out, that he asked me to marry him. And people have been so bold as to go up to my husband, with me in the room and ask him what he is doing with me.
So, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.
I do not find Lee nor George good looking in the least.
I rarely think the people who other people think are "hot", are hot. I don't think of too many people that way. I have found a handful of people sexually attractive in my life. Other than love/sexual feelings toward someone, it does not matter to me what people look like. Some people, male and female have a captivating beauty that I admire but what I am finding beautiful is usually not what is the "traditional" idea of beauty. I do not like to use the term traditional idea of beauty, precisely because it is only the ideal of a few.
I have been judged for my looks and so I don't do that to other people. We all have a type we naturally find our selves attracted to, and I think that is different than judging people.
Casey and Cindy are also not my idea of beauty. I don't think the super models are good looking. Here I am being no different than anyone else saying someone isn't beautiful but it is crazy that only those who think they are beautiful think they have the corner market on thinking people are ugly.
The people you think are ugly might think you are ugly too.
There is a culture that wishes for their teeth to be black. The men and women take measures to darken blacken their teeth. They find the look to be the utmost in beauty. There is a culture where the women use rings to stretch their necks, elongating them by several inches. She who has the longest neck is most beautiful. Traditional people tend to think Europeans are funny looking, nay I say ugly. That includes Marlyn Monroe, and Megan Fox.
It needs to be said that beauty being in the eye of the beholder is not just a pretty quote. It is truth. So that is why any discussion of someone being pretty or ugly is just a shallow judgement made by someone or someones and not at all reality or the truth.
Neither is "Beauty is only skin deep" only a pretty quote, it is truth. I have seen someone and thought they were so beautiful but then I saw them act ugly and that is how I saw them from then on. Casey is that way. Regardless if she was ever beautiful, she could longer be that because of what she did to Caylee. :twocents:
People do see and talk about beauty but that is different than those people who actually judge and make true decisions based on other people's looks. Beauty is all around us and meant to be enjoyed, it is one of the biggest parts of the human experience. It is all in who and what you find beauty, and why you find it beautiful. imo.
Saying people are going to judge anyway is a cop out and to say "that's the way it is" is wrong. That is like saying some people judge based on skin color but "that's just the way it is" no, that is just the way it is for people who are like that. When I find myself judging something, anything based only on what it looks like: I would be ignorant to the highest degree to think anything other than I am the one in error. It is I who is being ugly.
So the "facts may be" that people "judge" by looks but only shallow people stay in that place. Non shallow people will have that instant "like or dislike" moment when seeing something for the first time: our brains are wired this way-but for those who actually judge someone on their looks-that is a whole 'nother issue. That is the kind of people the Anthony's are: they proved that to me during the Morgan and Morgan interview when Cindy showed her ignorance and shallow heart in saying "Zanny was a ten" and that the woman in front of her was "not a ten." I am sure Cindy would defend herself for her words, she sees nothing wrong because 'people judge based on looks', right?
When you say, "hey people are gonna judge what you look like" you reveal yourself to be one of those people. And, saying it is "the way it is" does not make it right. The people that hire people because they are thin and do not hire people because they are fat, are not right. They are sad and ignorant and what is "just the way it is" is the fact that shallow people are allowed to make important decisions. :snooty:
Not everyone is like that, who is it that admits they judge people like this and feels fine in saying so? Not good people. Those of us who are considered "ugly" sure do not see the world in that way and we would be ashamed to admit we had treated someone different in anyway because of what we perceive on the outside.
:cow: