CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #20

[Kmonci]

I had to step away tonight, Dylan's case gets to me on so many levels and mostly it gets to me because he's a young boy who hasn't even been allowed the opportunity to live his life. This makes me very upset for Dylan and for those who love him. I have doubts that everyone in Dylan's "circle" love Dylan unconditionally. I have doubts that some of those in Dylan's "circle" even deserve to be in that circle! IMO MOO and all that jazz.

We all bring our own experiences, impressions, backgrounds and biases into situations. I believe that is what makes WS such a great forum. I came here initially because of Kyron and joined because of Jessica Ridgeway. Dylan's case has definitely grabbed my heart.

I grew up with an alcoholic parent. That same parent married a horrible and abusive man. There was a horrible crime committed in my family (my uncle and cousin were murdered in 2000). All this life experience brings me to believe and feel things in the way I do. Sometimes my postings come from my own background and sometimes from a deep caring about the cases here.

I didn't mean to open up so much. I care deeply about Dylan. I do have my suspicions of what happened to Dylan. I strongly hope my suspicions are wrong. Of course, only time will tell.

The case really gets to me as well, for similar reasons. I have a 13 year old son. We are thick as thieves so I could not imagine what Elaine us going through. I feel for her. I also grew up with an alcoholic parent who terrorized us( and his previous wives) so I am sure this has an impact on my perspective.
I just get a really bad feeling about the lack of contact after Sunday night. I can't get past it.
I think I will have to take s break from this or I won't sleep tonight as I am too wound up thinking of Dylan and wanting to know what really happened.

 

[FruitTingles]

What a beautiful post, DM.

I am sorry for your losses. :hug:

We all bring our own impressions and life experiences to WS. In some cases those experiences help us figure out what happened, and in others, they lead us astray. None of us knows what happened to Dylan yet. But we ALL care and hope and Pray for him.:rose:

B&UBM

Exactly.

 

[mmmagique]

Menacing can be as simple as stating "I'm going to kick your a--". Many people have said something similar to that at least once on their lives; drunk, sober or just angry. They just didn't get caught...

It can be...as long as it causes the other person to fear for their bodily health. But there were also child abuse charges, assault charges, trespassing charges. Every charge has very specific elements it needs to meet before it can be brought. This was not your typical neighborhood "stay off my lawn" (imo)

 

[LotusPawprint]

I had to step away tonight, Dylan's case gets to me on so many levels and mostly it gets to me because he's a young boy who hasn't even been allowed the opportunity to live his life. This makes me very upset for Dylan and for those who love him. I have doubts that everyone in Dylan's "circle" love Dylan unconditionally. I have doubts that some of those in Dylan's "circle" even deserve to be in that circle! IMO MOO and all that jazz.

We all bring our own experiences, impressions, backgrounds and biases into situations. I believe that is what makes WS such a great forum. I came here initially because of Kyron and joined because of Jessica Ridgeway. Dylan's case has definitely grabbed my heart.

I grew up with an alcoholic parent. That same parent married a horrible and abusive man. There was a horrible crime committed in my family (my uncle and cousin were murdered in 2000). All this life experience brings me to believe and feel things in the way I do. Sometimes my postings come from my own background and sometimes from a deep caring about the cases here.

I didn't mean to open up so much. I care deeply about Dylan. I do have my suspicions of what happened to Dylan. I strongly hope my suspicions are wrong. Of course, only time will tell.

What nightmares you survived. And survived you did!
You have a good heart and your Dylan is lucky to have you!
Oh and we're lucky to have you too :blushing:

 

[aust amateur slueth]

Just because the general public is unaware, doesn't mean he hasn't provided information to LE. Last I checked he was not a suspect or POI.

and on the first page of every thread for this case there is a statement about how more and more we are finding that LE are reluctant to name a suspect or POI until and arrest is imminent.


I don't know that he has explained any of it to LE, they chose to get a search warrant to search his house thoroughly and took his vehicles to be forensically tested as well.

that to me doesn't sound like he's in the clear

 

[DylansMom34]

The case really gets to me as well, for similar reasons. I have a 13 year old son. We are thick as thieves so I could not imagine what Elaine us going through. I feel for her. I also grew up with an alcoholic parent who terrorized us( and his previous wives) so I am sure this has an impact on my perspective.
I just get a really bad feeling about the lack of contact after Sunday night. I can't get past it.
I think I will have to take s break from this or I won't sleep tonight as I am too wound up thinking of Dylan and wanting to know what really happened.

BBM I wish there was something we could do or some way we could help.

The funny thing is I think of WS as my therapy group because I know there are lots of people here like me. Whether that means just as concerned, or maybe just as goofed up.

 

[vasportsmom]

I had to step away tonight, Dylan's case gets to me on so many levels and mostly it gets to me because he's a young boy who hasn't even been allowed the opportunity to live his life. This makes me very upset for Dylan and for those who love him. I have doubts that everyone in Dylan's "circle" love Dylan unconditionally. I have doubts that some of those in Dylan's "circle" even deserve to be in that circle! IMO MOO and all that jazz.

We all bring our own experiences, impressions, backgrounds and biases into situations. I believe that is what makes WS such a great forum. I came here initially because of Kyron and joined because of Jessica Ridgeway. Dylan's case has definitely grabbed my heart.

I grew up with an alcoholic parent. That same parent married a horrible and abusive man. There was a horrible crime committed in my family (my uncle and cousin were murdered in 2000). All this life experience brings me to believe and feel things in the way I do. Sometimes my postings come from my own background and sometimes from a deep caring about the cases here.

I didn't mean to open up so much. I care deeply about Dylan. I do have my suspicions of what happened to Dylan. I strongly hope my suspicions are wrong. Of course, only time will tell.

I'm so sorry about the things you had to endure. I had dysfunctional parents too. It sucked but I think it made me a better mother to my boys. I bet the same is true for you.

It has been clear from the beginning that you care deeply about Dylan. I remember encountering you way back on Thread 1. We got off to a rough start and I actually had you on ignore for a period of time, lol. Now I probably talk with you more than anyone else here. You're one of the really good 'guys'. Cases like Dylan's and beautiful, little Jade's wouldn't hit you so hard if you weren't.

 

[absentia]

I have to chime in on this. I grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father, an it was my reaction when he would try to physically harm my mother or brother to punch him. In the child's mind it's not disrespectful to your parent, because they have done absolutely nothing to earn your respect.

I have not been following much lately. Just checked in to see if he'd been found. Not too sure what the details are with the family dynamics, but I have to agree - I grew up with an abusive father who I didn't respect from a very young age. I'd get in his face and give it right back to him when he got out of control. It got me in tons of trouble, but I'd verbally fight him cuz I was so pissed at him. I didn't even think about it. I'd just go for it.

 

[cluciano63]

If this is another one of "those" cases (that are never resolved), it is going to be hard to take. They all are, but some really scream for answers. But I am feeling very pessimistic.

 

[dlc]

in the other incident there were other witnesses and it was documented by responding officers in a police report. I have not seen any witness accounts, police reports , arrest records, etc to substantiate that ER ever drove drunk, with her children or otherwise.

And, most relevantly (IMO), his accusation, as has already been pointed out, came two years after the alleged incident

 

[catswhiskers]

I grew up with a mean drunk of a father too - but was always too terrified to even answer him back. My mum didn't break away from him until we were all grown and working - I don't know how she did it, as she bore the brunt of his drunken rages. When he was sober he was a different man - but was always very controlling with my mum.

 

[LotusPawprint]

And, most relevantly (IMO), his accusation, as has already been pointed out, came two years after the alleged incident

Yeah, there's nothing that says protective, responsible, on -their game parenting like reporting alleged drinking and driving two years after the fact.
What took ya so long, dad?

 

[katydid23]

If this is another one of "those" cases (that are never resolved), it is going to be hard to take. They all are, but some really scream for answers. But I am feeling very pessimistic.

As long as there are no arrests in the Ayla Reynolds case, and as long as Sky M's rotten excuse for a mother remains free, I will have very little faith in most of these cases.

 

[Seajay]

It means he made an accusation about her to the court. It may or may not have been true.

True but the same can be said about her accusation about him being drunk and taking a swing at her son and Dylan going after him and hitting him. He said, she said. Doesn't make one right and the other wrong.

 

[Seajay]

It means MR made an accusation against ER without providing any supporting proof. Maybe he made it up. Maybe it really happened but he failed to document it. We will probably never knew what the truth is so we are left with an unsubstantiated allegation.

Just like the unsubstantiated claim that he was drunk on July 4th. I didn't see anymore documentation then the RO which was the same documentation MR had on her for driving drunk with the kids. Again, he said, she said.

 

[katydid23]

True but the same can be said about her accusation about him being drunk and taking a swing at her son and Dylan going after him and hitting him. He said, she said. Doesn't make one right and the other wrong.

But the boys seemingly corroborated ER's version. Why else would Cory have been angry enough to beat up his drunken dad? And even MR admits that he was passed out all night.

 

[Salem]

Hey Dylan - I lit a candle for you and Lindsey Baum today at Mission San Xavier and said a prayer asking that you might be returned home soon. I'm hoping there is some real power in that 200+ year old church to work a miracle.

Salem

 

[cluciano63]

It is really painful to think about so many of these kids. Haleigh C. should be going on nine by now, Kyron past ten, Hailey D. fifteen and a half. And the missing little ones would all be walking and getting ready for pre-K. Not to mention the young women like Holly, Katelyn, Lauren, Kortne, and too many others, all looking forward to careers or college.

I wonder, will we be talking about Dylan in a year or two; I hope not. But it is not a slam against LE to believe, as I do, that they simply have no place to go, literally, in most missing persons cases. Luck seems to be the biggest factor, unfortunately. I really wonder if when people "disappear" other people if they take into consideration how easy it is to get away with it, or if they too marvel at their own luck.

 

[OneLove]

Absolutely!! First of all the NCP would have to complain, it would have to go to court, and we all know this takes time. In the meantime she could present her fears to the judge and most likely he would change the orders. ty

The only times I have seen this attempted have ended with the judge severely admonishing the noncompliant parent and telling them the consequences should he ever see them in court again for unsubstantiated and unwarranted claims. I served as the court appointed advocate for children caught in some pretty horrendous family situations and I never once saw a judge change a custody order due to "a gut feeling" or an "inkling" on the part of a fearful parent.

 

[cluciano63]

IMO, I am not exactly convinced that MR is innocent, but I do not think there is any proof that either parent is an alcoholic. Perhaps some posters are projecting their own experiences a bit. Maybe someone should open a thread in the Jury Room for children of alcoholics.

Anyway, jmo.