CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #23

[Linda7NJ]

On the phone smoking....Not literally, figuratively


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[Monroe12]

I don't believe that Elaine was ever planning on having Dylan make a life long habit of it. But kids wear comfy clothes, like elastic waist bands and nylon shorts and big t-shirts to middle school. No reason that Dylan would have worn uncomfortable clothes to bed.

And in my son's case, he was often just a minute or two late for the bus. So that tiny time saved was crucial. He didn't do it for more than a month or two, but it worked at the time.And I got the impression that you were saying that any parent who'd allow it was a bad parent. It is hard to know what people are trying to say on here sometimes though.[/QUOTE]

Ok still sipping my pinot but Katy......I SAID I wasn't saying a person was a bad parent. What I said was I didn't believe he slept in his street clothes ....in all my years of raising 4 kids from 1985 to now I have never heard of anyone allowing their kids to dress for school at bedtime. I guess I didn't get around enough. When I spoke of a lifelong habit I did not mean Dylans parents were planning on making it (the wearing of streetclothes) alifelong habit. What I meant was how do you go from a lifetime of wearing PJS /undies/boxers/athletic shorts to wearing streetclothes to bed. Like I said I guess I didn't get around enough.

 

[mmmagique]

Nobody has said there was any activity. We've just said that having no activity on a phone doesn't necessarily mean the phone was turned off. MOO

But for some people, that would not be the norm. Apparently, with Dylan, the "norm" was to text "until smoke came out of it" (not literally)

When something occurs (or in this case does not occur) that is out of the norm, during a time when it is questionable whether this person was alive and able to do his "normal" things, we should take note of it.

It may be something, it may be nothing, but we would be remiss if we did not take it into consideration.

 

[catswhiskers]

I don't discard the phone issue. I do recall ER saying he would text until his phone literally smoked. Doesn't sound like a stable phone to me. Could easily "cark it" at any time.

Good to see your vocab expanding there Conked out is another term I use a bit - good for describing the passing of inanimate objects.

 

[mijamawi]

Good to see your vocab expanding there Conked out is another term I use a bit - good for describing the passing of inanimate objects.

We say conked out here in TX. Never heard carked, so I'm totally going with that from now on.

 

[TxLady2]

I have got to chime in on a point that is so ridiculous I cant believe it: ok I raised 4 kids. You all have raised many as well.
I don't care how hard a kid deals with mornings, will any of you tell me who puts their kids to bed in fresh street clothes!??? I am sorry but I have never heard of any mom I know even the most spoiling and accomodating moms, who puts their kids to bed in street clothes. From the poorest to the richest no kid goes to bed in street clothes. Shower? Bath? Of course. Socks pants school shirt? Cant even think how a child could b comfy enuf to sleep like that. Ugh! Not buying it. Sorry with all due respect I cant imagine any mother putting her child to bed with tomorrows street clothes on. Sorry that speaks more to a PARENTS inability to deal with mornings than a child. And 2 of my 4 were heavy sleepers, bad morning grumps. Who the hell is running this show? Ok let the arrows fly. Just FWIW....IMOz it has do little relevance as to b ridiculous....but since this has been stated about a half dozen times I couldn't handle it any more.

Yes, I know what you mean. I can't imagine a child wanting to sleep in the clothes he intended to wear to school, wouldn't that be pretty uncomfortable?
Not to mention ending up wrinkled? Or pretty much like they had been slept in??
Nope... never would have happened with mine.

 

[Darcyline]

But for some people, that would not be the norm. Apparently, with Dylan, the "norm" was to text "until smoke came out of it" (not literally)

When something occurs (or in this case does not occur) that is out of the norm, during a time when it is questionable whether this person was alive and able to do his "normal" things, we should take note of it.

It may be something, it may be nothing, but we would be remiss if we did not take it into consideration.

I don't think anyone is saying don't consider it at all. I think most of us are saying that it is a big difference between on, but not being used, broken, battery died, or turned off. To me, each one of those scenarios brings me to different conclusions and I do not think they are all the same and bring the same conclusions.

 

[The Cheese]

Just another side note/observation to add here - R only sent the one text 16 mins after D was due to arrive. If he had been too concerned or annoyed, IMO there would have been more follow up messages. The lack of concern could mean that in that 13yo world, changes in plans or being less than reliable about punctuality wasn't so unusual.

Also in the second message R tells D to come to another friend's place. Not only was R not sounding overly concerned at that point, but it seems to me that he was also out and about getting on with his own socialising by 10am. Nothing wrong with that, but again his texts or lack of don't give the impression that anything wildly out of the ordinary was going on.

IMO way too much emphasis has been placed on how others think Dylan would or should have responded. I have a 13yo who isn't remotely interested in even keeping his phone charged for weeks on end, others have teens who are unable to peel themselves from their phones. The reality is that we don't know Dylan's actual texting habits, or how his old phone was behaving that night.

I still think his phone may have just stopped working of it's own accord that evening, and that this wasn't even noticed until it was found still dead on the charger the next morning.
:moo:

R's apparent lack of concern fits with the comment the friends made about Dylan showing up randomly to me. I also noted that there have been no reports that R told his mom he was concerned, which would have indicates to me that it was out of character for Dylan. I imagine if R had told his mom, his mom would have contacted Mark and Elaine, but no reports of that.

I really think Dylan is a free spirit kind of kid. Maybe the phone was fine, and he'd decided he'd show up at N's and surprise everybody, hitching there, and picking up treats for everyone on the way. But caught a ride from the wrong person.

 

[Confusion]

I'm kind of surprised some of you are discarding the phone/texting thing. Something happened to that phone.

If I really thought that finding out for sure what happened to the phone would tell me what happened to Dylan, I'd be much more interested in it. I have my own explanation for the phone issue, and prefer to move on. I'm sure everyone else will do the same once they've decided on an explanation that works for them, but many aren't at that point yet. To each his own. MOO

 

[4Jayhawks]

Speaking of sleeping in street clothes...

When I was in high school, one of my friends worked the weekend breakfast shift at McDondalds. She had to get up so early that she would sleep in her uniform with full makeup on so she'd be ready to go. She said she "slept very carefully" so she wouldn't smear her mascara!

I don't know how she did it.....I toss and turn too much and my hair looks like Medusa's in the morning.

 

[TxLady2]

I must be a horrible mom, but I will admit that my oldest kid used to do the same thing. He would shower and put on his nylon basketball shorts and his clean socks, t-shirt and jump into bed. The next morning all he had to do was roll out and eat his pnt butter toast, put on his hoodie, slip on his Vann's, brush his teeth, and GO.

Yeah, nylon shorts, I can see that. But my boys went to school in jeans. Basketball shorts were not allowed back then.

 

[Darcyline]

Speaking of sleeping in street clothes...

When I was in high school, one of my friends worked the weekend breakfast shift at McDondalds. She had to get up so early that she would sleep in her uniform with full makeup on so she'd be ready to go. She said she "slept very carefully" so she wouldn't smear her mascara!

I don't know how she did it.....I toss and turn too much and my hair looks like Medusa's in the morning.

One of my friends does the same with her make-up. That is crazy to me. If I ever sleep in make-up I wake up looking like I slept face down in a gutter. I would have to completely remove the make-up and then put it back on to look presentable.

 

[catswhiskers]

On the dreaded phone ping subject ... a question for those who are more in the know than me. My understanding is that our phones
search for signals intermittently. Sorry if this is a really dumb question, but does this mean that a cell phone in an area where there is poor or broken reception/fewer towers would be searching constantly or more frequently than usual?
Clear as mud? I guess I'm asking if a cell phone in an area like that would be using more power, or have its battery drained faster than normal.

 

[mmmagique]

I don't discard the phone issue. I do recall ER saying he would text until his phone literally smoked. Doesn't sound like a stable phone to me. Could easily "cark it" at any time.

She said until smoke was coming out of it. It was a figure of speech. She didn't say it literally smoked.

 

[Linda7NJ]

I don't believe that Elaine was ever planning on having Dylan make a life long habit of it. But kids wear comfy clothes, like elastic waist bands and nylon shorts and big t-shirts to middle school. No reason that Dylan would have worn uncomfortable clothes to bed.

And in my son's case, he was often just a minute or two late for the bus. So that tiny time saved was crucial. He didn't do it for more than a month or two, but it worked at the time.And I got the impression that you were saying that any parent who'd allow it was a bad parent. It is hard to know what people are trying to say on here sometimes though.[/QUOTE]

Ok still sipping my pinot but Katy......I SAID I wasn't saying a person was a bad parent. What I said was I didn't believe he slept in his street clothes ....in all my years of raising 4 kids from 1985 to now I have never heard of anyone allowing their kids to dress for school at bedtime. I guess I didn't get around enough. When I spoke of a lifelong habit I did not mean Dylans parents were planning on making it (the wearing of streetclothes) alifelong habit. What I meant was how do you go from a lifetime of wearing PJS /undies/boxers/athletic shorts to wearing streetclothes to bed. Like I said I guess I didn't get around enough.

IMO this is a non issue for me. I spent the first 12 years of my sons life involved in making sure he showered, brushed teeth, wore clean immaculate clothing. By age 13.... I was done! If he wanted to go a week without showering, I wouldn't know. If he slept in his street clothes, I had no idea. I never smelled him or noticed furry teeth, bad breath, or wrinkled clothes.

My kid never had a bed time and I haven't " put him to bed" since he was three years old. When he's tired, he goes to bed. He knew the routine...bath teeth bed...I get a kiss on the cheek, a goodnight and that's it. Even when he was little and couldn't read...I'd read to him all the time in the family room. After he could read, he read to me. It wasn't a bedtime thing.

Who cares what someone chooses to wear to bed? I figure... I taught him the "right" way. The rest is on him! Lol


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[PaulR]

But for some people, that would not be the norm. Apparently, with Dylan, the "norm" was to text "until smoke came out of it" (not literally)

When something occurs (or in this case does not occur) that is out of the norm, during a time when it is questionable whether this person was alive and able to do his "normal" things, we should take note of it.

It may be something, it may be nothing, but we would be remiss if we did not take it into consideration.

Ryan : (time 6:43 p.m. Nov. 18) Im in pagosa coming
Dylan Redwine: Cant come srry ill hang tommarow
Ryan: Ok
Ryan: (time 7:09 p.m. Nov. 18) Why
Dylan: idk
Ryan: (time 7:45 p.m. Nov. 18) Did your dad say no
Dylan: (time 8:01 p.m. Nov. 18) yea

If Dylan was constantly on his cell phone texting, he wouldn't have taken 16 minutes to respond. ER was exaggerating a little.

 

[Darcyline]

On the dreaded phone ping subject ... a question for those who are more in the know than me. My understanding is that our phones
search for signals intermittently. Sorry if this is a really dumb question, but does this mean that a cell phone in an area where there is poor or broken reception/fewer towers would be searching constantly or more frequently than usual?
Clear as mud? I guess I'm asking if a cell phone in an area like that would be using more power, or have its battery drained faster than normal.

I can only speak from personal experience and I say yes. My parents live in a mountainous area and, frustratingly, are just in a spotty coverage zone. We can sometimes walk around or drive just a bit away and that gives us perfect signal, but it is very spotty to sometimes no service in the actual house. My phone battery (and my brother's from a conversation we had) goes dead way, way faster than if I am at my house where I have a perfectly strong signal. I always thought it was because the phone was searching for a signal that rarely came. But, seriously I will get a day or two at my house while only a few hours at my parents'. It sucks while I am visiting.

This is also why I am more open to other explanations for the cellphone issues than just Dylan died and went missing at 8pm. I do think it is possible the spotty cell coverage and older phone and him being out of his normal environment led to the cell issues and not just the explanation that whatever happened happened at 8 or soon after.

 

[raine1212]

Ok,, let's move on from the clothes. Dylan may or may have not slept in his clothes..

 

[mmmagique]

Ryan : (time 6:43 p.m. Nov. 18) Im in pagosa coming
Dylan Redwine: Cant come srry ill hang tommarow
Ryan: Ok
Ryan: (time 7:09 p.m. Nov. 18) Why
Dylan: idk
Ryan: (time 7:45 p.m. Nov. 18) Did your dad say no
Dylan: (time 8:01 p.m. Nov. 18) yea

If Dylan was constantly on his cell phone texting, he wouldn't have taken 16 minutes to respond. ER was exaggerating a little.

We don't know that. Maybe they were in Walmart shopping, so he didn't answer, or they were eating or arguing so he didn't answer.

We can't know if ER was exaggerating or not. (except about the smoke thing)

 

[PaulR]

On the dreaded phone ping subject ... a question for those who are more in the know than me. My understanding is that our phones
search for signals intermittently. Sorry if this is a really dumb question, but does this mean that a cell phone in an area where there is poor or broken reception/fewer towers would be searching constantly or more frequently than usual?
Clear as mud? I guess I'm asking if a cell phone in an area like that would be using more power, or have its battery drained faster than normal.

You are absolutely correct!

http://www.electronicspoint.com/power-consumption-mobile-phone-watts-t74981.html

Most phones will also be in high power consumption if in idle in a fringe area or if it's constantly searching for service in a non-service area.