CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #43

[SuperMom1995]

yup. I agree totally. Er has said she was always afraid MR would hurt one of her kids, so I think it popped in her head right away due to that constant threat and fear. I think she fully believed they'd find him right away and that it would never go on this long. that MR couldn't really hurt DR to this extent. I think ER will find Dr. I don't think she'll ever stop actively looking, bringing in expert help. I think MR wants him found too, I guess that's why I think he'll be found.

YEAH I think MR wants him found to a) stop child support and b) so he can "go on with his life" (he thinks:shakehead:

 

[Confusion]

Hmmm, you see I feel like in most high-profile cases, I honestly don't know much about the victim at all. I feel like I get a very vague description of them. Like I will hear about what their hobbies were or some general personality trait, but never any stories to "tell" me how the victim fits that personality. If I were asked to describe Isabel, Jessica R, Kyron, Dylan, etc; I would have a hard time doing so. I feel like most of what I know about a victim is "He/She liked to (insert hobby here) and was very (insert personality trait here)".

I have read some about Kyron, but I'm afraid he wasn't one that held my attention for very long. I really don't remember reading much about him personally at all, more about him being gone and the people who were involved in his life. I sometimes feel bad about that because there seem to be many people he touched very deeply; I'm not in any way saying he wasn't deserving of long term interest or every effort everyone has put into finding him.

With Jessica R., I can see her pretending to be a waitress with her family. I can see her making her lunch in the mornings to try to prove how grown up she was, but also turning around and enjoying snuggling with her mother/grandmother/aunt while drinking a cup of hot chocolate and watching a movie on a cold day . It's never been said, as far as I know, but it's the way I envision her. Seeing pictures of her with her dog, cheerleading, heading off to school, and all the other things just make her seem more "real" to me. To me, she was on that line between a sweet little girl and a responsible young woman. MOO

With Dylan, the friend's video was a big part of it. His mother and brother make it obvious that he was loved, but his father's sometimes less than glowing description makes him appear more real to me. Looking at his pictures and the video, I see a kid who loved being with his friends and being active. He strikes me as an outdoor/athletic person who is a team player. I can see him swimming, skipping stones, even building sand castles more than sitting quietly waiting for a fish to bite. I also see him as much more likely to "pout" or just mope when he doesn't get his way than to challenge the decision and argue about it. In my mind, I can actually see the morning he disappeared. Sleeping, waking up a bit when his father was bugging him to get up, and saying something like, "Okay, I get it!" and rolling over to go back to sleep when he was told it was his last chance to go in the morning.

Obviously, many people don't see things like I do, but the question was (I think) who do some cases hold your attention longer than others do. MOO

 

[azgrandma]

This is interesting, particularly the "men intimidate" vs "he can control women" angle that AZGrandma mentioned. I see MR as a good ole boy who is more likely to bond with men and look down on women. However, no males in his life are jumping to his defense. In fact, my working theory about the absolute silence from the male family member closest geographically is that they have their own suspicions about MR. (No proof or link, just MOO). Not sure about the famle detective bit-- he seems more confident of his charm around women so it couldn't hurt. Anyone want to bet tiny La Plata County doesn't even HAVE female detectives? I know there were some ladies working with FBI/CBI on the search of his house. Bring em back, give em a badge and a go at him.

They have female officers.

 

[SuperMom1995]

BBM: Go with that one. No one has said there were any footprints.

ER commented that there were no footprints and that there should have been.

 

[rebeccaeee]

They have female officers.

Good to know. I look forward to thinking about MR trying to manipulate them and failing greatly. IMO.

 

[NC Analyzer]

They have female officers.

Geez, AZ, she would have to be an Oscar award winning actress as well as a detective to pull off a successful interrogation with MR! Just my observation only, but the majority of women in LE have very limited tolerance for men like MR, lol. And, as a general rule, they aren't "his" type. Personally, I think he needs a female psych. to have a go at him.

But I would give any women who managed to pull this off a standing ovation! :floorlaugh:

 

[SuperMom1995]

BBM I also think this was all about control and rage. Everyone probably knows someone who sees every situation which doesn't go their way as being "unfair". They are always nursing a grievance of some sort which they use to justify all their bad behavior. I don't see the change in CS as a motive as much as just one more perceived "injustice" in MR's eyes. The custody change, ER moving away and reuniting with her first husband, even the new house which MR brought up as something Dylan was "too tired" to discuss were all sore spots, all "unfair". Premeditation is possible, but I still tend to believe this could have been a spontaneous act of rage.

Something that just occurred to me is that MR brings up Dylan being "tired" almost as much as be mentions Dylan wanting to be with his friends, the lake, and the fishing pole. I think "tired" fits in somehow, but no idea how except that the repetition stands out.
All MOO

When was that text sent to Cory that said something like "no you, no Dylan, no me...I can change all of that" Anybody know?

 

[Kamille]

BBM - do you have a link to where it says he called her? I've been looking and looking but so far all I can find is that he texted her. I know he said "ER said we should call the Sheriff" which implies they talked, but I know a lot of people who use "said" for something said verbally or via a text.

As to the Marshall I agree with those who've said they're probably using the terms somewhat interchangeably. I also agree it's possible he didn't even actually go into the Marshall's office though - seems that would be easy enough to verify? I'd think they would document or report it somehow? Interesting side note for those who wonder if he reads here/knows what's being said here (or maybe he's getting it from FB?) - I also noticed on Dr. Phil he used the term "law enforcement" at least once, maybe twice - I think it was the first time I've heard him say it that way as opposed to police, marshall, etc.

BBM

I noticed that too. I always liken that to the fact that anyone who spends any time reading forums....especially this one....will start using that term.

MOO

 

[nikb]

You could be absolutely right! Perhaps the pressure was getting to him at that moment so he was trying to divert to something else. He's definitely a manipulator. I think it's kind of funny that he thought he could manipulate Dr Phil.

BBM sadly I think he sort of did. It didn't work in the long run, but I can't recall ever seeing Dr. Phil as upset as he seemed. He didn't back down, but IMO MR did "get" to him. Heck he even got to the polygrapher.

 

[Dee10]

Geez, AZ, she would have to be an Oscar award winning actress as well as a detective to pull off a successful interrogation with MR! Just my observation only, but the majority of women in LE have very limited tolerance for men like MR, lol. And, as a general rule, they aren't "his" type. Personally, I think he needs a female psych. to have a go at him.

But I would give any women who managed to pull this off a standing ovation! :floorlaugh:

You maybe right about a woman interrogating him. AZ got version #3 about T out of him. BTW AZ could you repeat that please & thanks!

 

[cattlekate]

I have some presumptions about MR's intentions toward Elaine, but I don't think he actually believed he would be able to "get back together" with her, rather, it is more likely his male ego was part of the equation.
I can see him thinking that Elaine would come running to him when she realized Dylan was missing. She didn't. Not only that, she brought MH when she returned to Vallecito. I think he knew she was traveling with MH very early on, thus the blocked phone. I think this all enraged MR. I don't believe he was thinking about this as a "couple" reconciliation, but rather something that would bring her to him. She would be at his side. "They" would be together as parents. He could thumb his nose at MH, as in, ha ha, we are Dylan's parents, you aren't. Childish, but let's get real...MR has shown he is very childish. This was a game to him. Part of the winning would have been him being with Elaine with MH on the outside. "They" would be together in that sense. He would be in charge. He would be able to "comfort" her. When that didn't happen, I believe he went into rage overdrive. The man has serious power and control issues. After that was when we first started seeing the snarky, nasty, bad mom comments and insinuations. She wouldn't play his game. She kept MH close and didn't allow MR in her personal space. She sent him a message...."I am done with you, no matter what. I will deal with this situation with the man I love, not you." And he couldn't handle that.

EXACTLY! Mark texted to Cory "Mike has ur Mom!" Mark is sensitive to him being alone. In the beginning, Mark told the media that Elaine and him needed to "come together" - "unite" - and tempered this -since it would be scary to Elaine - with they didn't have to be "buddy buddy" or do "dinner." Mark wanted to be in Elaine's presence - not to just show her he had control, but to start his pity party to the world.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

When someone is lying they tend to be evasive when answering questions rather than answering with direct answers because that leaves them lots of wiggle room later if they need it.

By saying he 'communicated' with someone he is leaving lots of wiggle room. Say that someone is Elaine and she says 'no you didn't, I have proof. I can show my phone records to prove you did not text or call me'. Well he can simply say 'I never said I texted or called you I said 'communicated' and I did try to communicate with you by emailing a friend who was supposed to forward that to a friend who was supposed to forward that to you. The more vague he is with his answers the easier it is to wiggle out of if he needs to.

 

[eileenhawkeye]

I have read some about Kyron, but I'm afraid he wasn't one that held my attention for very long. I really don't remember reading much about him personally at all, more about him being gone and the people who were involved in his life. I sometimes feel bad about that because there seem to be many people he touched very deeply; I'm not in any way saying he wasn't deserving of long term interest or every effort everyone has put into finding him.

With Jessica R., I can see her pretending to be a waitress with her family. I can see her making her lunch in the mornings to try to prove how grown up she was, but also turning around and enjoying snuggling with her mother/grandmother/aunt while drinking a cup of hot chocolate and watching a movie on a cold day . It's never been said, as far as I know, but it's the way I envision her. Seeing pictures of her with her dog, cheerleading, heading off to school, and all the other things just make her seem more "real" to me. To me, she was on that line between a sweet little girl and a responsible young woman. MOO

With Dylan, the friend's video was a big part of it. His mother and brother make it obvious that he was loved, but his father's sometimes less than glowing description makes him appear more real to me. Looking at his pictures and the video, I see a kid who loved being with his friends and being active. He strikes me as an outdoor/athletic person who is a team player. I can see him swimming, skipping stones, even building sand castles more than sitting quietly waiting for a fish to bite. I also see him as much more likely to "pout" or just mope when he doesn't get his way than to challenge the decision and argue about it. In my mind, I can actually see the morning he disappeared. Sleeping, waking up a bit when his father was bugging him to get up, and saying something like, "Okay, I get it!" and rolling over to go back to sleep when he was told it was his last chance to go in the morning.

Obviously, many people don't see things like I do, but the question was (I think) who do some cases hold your attention longer than others do. MOO

That's what I mean. We really don't know much about these children at all. They are a blank slate with a general description and we view them however we want to see them. Maybe I have a bad imagination, but I would like to hear real stories/anecdotes about these kids.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

BBM

I noticed that too. I always liken that to the fact that anyone who spends any time reading forums....especially this one....will start using that term.

MOO

If he would have said LE then we would know for sure that he's been reading these forums.

:floorlaugh:

 

[deoneta]

Respectfully snipped

I think the "tired" fit into explain the lack of texting. Didn't MR say in the beginning that when Dylan arrived he played football & basically passed out after? Nobody bought that & now there is a movie...

So many variations that I had forgotten about this earliest account. He definitely made it sound as though Dylan went right to sleep as soon as they got home. But then that wouldn't square with him being, again, "too tired" to get up Monday morning so the movie entered the storyline. The nerf ball tossing seemed to disappear from the later versions, though. All MOO

 

[cluciano63]

That's what I mean. We really don't know much about these children at all. They are a blank slate with a general description and we view them however we want to see them. Maybe I have a bad imagination, but I would like to hear real stories/anecdotes about these kids.

But that would not help find them, even if it would be touching to know, IMO.

 

[SCHMAE]

Good to know. I look forward to thinking about MR trying to manipulate them and failing greatly. IMO.

HAHA, I was thinking the very same thing. Him trying to bat his eyes
and be all smooth and them just reeling him in.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

BBM sadly I think he sort of did. It didn't work in the long run, but I can't recall ever seeing Dr. Phil as upset as he seemed. He didn't back down, but IMO MR did "get" to him. Heck he even got to the polygrapher.

Oh MR got to him alright but no he absolutely was not able to manipulate him! DP saw right through him from the get go. I've seen DP get upset and it's usually when he knows someone's lying or manipulating, but honestly I don't know that I've ever seen him this pissed! And did you see when MR leaned toward DP and got loud too? When he said he was going to put what he said in 'text' (context). LOL I thought they were about ready to go to blows. DP knows his stuff and he's not afraid to call a liar a liar.

 

[nikb]

I have some presumptions about MR's intentions toward Elaine, but I don't think he actually believed he would be able to "get back together" with her, rather, it is more likely his male ego was part of the equation.
I can see him thinking that Elaine would come running to him when she realized Dylan was missing. She didn't. Not only that, she brought MH when she returned to Vallecito. I think he knew she was traveling with MH very early on, thus the blocked phone. I think this all enraged MR. I don't believe he was thinking about this as a "couple" reconciliation, but rather something that would bring her to him. She would be at his side. "They" would be together as parents. He could thumb his nose at MH, as in, ha ha, we are Dylan's parents, you aren't. Childish, but let's get real...MR has shown he is very childish. This was a game to him. Part of the winning would have been him being with Elaine with MH on the outside. "They" would be together in that sense. He would be in charge. He would be able to "comfort" her. When that didn't happen, I believe he went into rage overdrive. The man has serious power and control issues. After that was when we first started seeing the snarky, nasty, bad mom comments and insinuations. She wouldn't play his game. She kept MH close and didn't allow MR in her personal space. She sent him a message...."I am done with you, no matter what. I will deal with this situation with the man I love, not you." And he couldn't handle that.

Very interesting thoughts, and I totally agree. Thanks for the insights, that makes a lot of sense.

I doubt MR follows missing kids cases much, but I am thinking about Lyric and Elizabeth - more specifically Lyric. Her parents were/are separated and I believe one or both had new significant others even though they weren't divorced yet (this is rumor/speculation, but mentioned quite a few times on their threads). In Lyric's case it did, at least temporarily, bring the parents together to focus on their daughter. I'm sure there are others like this. Even if MR didn't know about them, he might have that idea in his mind and maybe he was hoping for a similar situation.

I can't quite get that comment out of my mind that he made early on when he said something about not wanting to have dinner with her, he just wanted to find their son (...as in, work together to find him). It came across to me as almost defensive.

I have to wonder, with his history of making his kids "disappear" for awhile beyond the agreed day/time to return them home, did he really think that Dylan going missing this time was going to be so different from ER's perspective that she'd respond with "oh no! Let's work together and find him!"? He doesn't seem to put himself in other peoples shoes too often, though.

 

[Ghostwheel]

I would appreciate if you would really pay attention to this part:

ER: I don’t care what you believe. I don’t have Dylan. I wish I had Dylan, because if I had Dylan we wouldn’t be on the Dr. Phil show, Okay?

MR: I wish I had Dylan, too, but that’s not…

ER: Did you hurt him?

MR: No, Elaine!! I wouldn’t hurt him… what kind of mother are you to even think that I was capable of doing something like that?

ER: I was your wife for 18 years. I brought you all the way to Dr. Phil to speak with you because you won’t speak with me.

I am wondering what you think, perhaps from his demeanor, what he was going to say before he was interrupted "I wish I had Dylan, too, but that's not..." Was he going to say "but that's not going to happen?" Wondering what else could fit that sentence. I think an interesting sentence was lost. :banghead:

I think he was going to say "But that's not the point." Because IMO, in his mind it wasn't the point. The point was for them to be together on the Dr. Phil show, not to wish they had Dylan back.

Every time I read "what kind of mother are you to even think that I was capable of doing something like that?" I want to figuratively hit Mark in the head to reset his "stupid words" button, because it is such an inane thing to say. Kind of a Pavlovian dog reaction.....