CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #43

[cluciano63]

MR should have told DP prior to the show that he did not want to take another polygraph. People would have rolled their eyes a bit, but it far worse saying he would take it and then pulling the stunt that he did. From what AzGrandma has said, there was lots of discussion prior to filming etc. when he could have made his desire not to be forced into a test known. Some people just don't do well on them, some don't believe in them, whatever. Anything would have come off better than what did happen. But I think he was always thinking about his image, and it pleased him, for some reason, to state that he would take it, knowing he would get out of it.

 

[NC Analyzer]

I don't think he ever had any intentions of taking the poly. I think his hangover is laughable. I think he was pressured into saying he would take it. I don't think an ongoing investigation has any business being played out on a daytime talk show. JMO

So you believe MR was pressured? Really? Don't you think he is beyond the teenage angst years of being pressured? I would disagree with that assessment vehemently due to the fact that he is a grown man. I believe that when someone makes excuses for adult behavior it is enabling that behavior and most experts agree with me. I cannot see how anyone could equate "pressure" for anything but another pretty excuse.

 

[cluciano63]

If only MR stopped for one second to think about the "pressure" Dylan is likely under, if he is even alive. Instead of what people of him, <modsnip>. Honestly, I have stayed up nights thinking of what could be happening to him at any given moment and I do not feel that MR has done as much.

 

[rosesfromangels]

That's fine. Others do care about MR and his drinking and that's what I was discussing. If you don't wish to join in, that's fine as well.
I am very interested in all the excuses, explanations and behavior characteristics displayed by MR. It's always interesting to me to watch a narcissist in action. Studying this type of behavior is what leads to breakthroughs in the psychiatric community every day. The more we educate ourselves, the better chance we have to prevent or at least foresee criminal behavior.

He certainly does seem to be an over the top example of a narcissist. I just got around to watching the Dr Phil show featuring Mark,his Exes, and sons. Everything that came out of that man's mouth was self serving. He seems to have the emotional development of a self centered teenager. However.....if you think about how much Dylan looks line him, then the definition of narcissist and potential murderer are in conflict. A true narcissist wouldn't murder a reflection of himself?

 

[mijamawi]

So you believe MR was pressured? Really? Don't you think he is beyond the teenage angst years of being pressured? I would disagree with that assessment vehemently due to the fact that he is a grown man. I believe that when someone makes excuses for adult behavior it is enabling that behavior and most experts agree with me. I cannot see how anyone could equate "pressure" for anything but another pretty excuse.

Yes, I feel he was pressured. I don't think it has anything to do with teen angst. Adults can be pressured in many ways, whether it be which restaurant to eat at because everyone wants Chilis but I want Olive Garden or which movie to watch.

Call me an enabler all day if you will, it doesn't change my thought process.

 

[SCHMAE]

So you believe MR was pressured? Really? Don't you think he is beyond the teenage angst years of being pressured? I would disagree with that assessment vehemently due to the fact that he is a grown man. I believe that when someone makes excuses for adult behavior it is enabling that behavior and most experts agree with me. I cannot see how anyone could equate "pressure" for anything but another pretty excuse.

If he had simply said NO, regardless of his reason why, it would have looked bad. But I cannot imagine anything he would have said looking WORSE than what the afternoon/morningafter/latermorningafter of MR and his poly fiasco looked. He could have said my lawyer said no, i already took one, i 'll schedule another with LE, uh........NO, i 'passed' my first poly , etc. I was thinking he would not take it when the time came. I thought he would politely bow out. He did not do that.

 

[SCHMAE]

If only MR stopped for one second to think about the "pressure" Dylan is likely under, if he is even alive. Instead of what people of him, <modsnip>. Honestly, I have stayed up nights thinking of what could be happening to him at any given moment and I do not feel that MR has done as much.

True . When MR said this is happening too fast, my brain started clicking off the calendar days since Nov 19 and thinking one more day, one more HOUR is too long if you're the victim of a pedophile and no one is looking for you because they think your dad is responsible. If MR believed someone else has his son, why would he want him to wait another day ?

 

[mijamawi]

I think we can talk all day about what we would do in this situation, but until you're (general you) under that microscope of people pointing their fingers at you, then we have no idea how we'd react. I know if my child went missing and everyone assumed I did it and was analyzing every move I made, every word that came out of my mouth, every time my eyeballs looked left or down or rolled in the back of my head, then yeah at some point you have to shut down. Nothing he could say or do would change anyone's opinion of him. It's past that point now.

 

[sreshowtime]

could it change things... if MR had taken DR's phone away, or any other texting gadgets...as in- you aren't staying on those dad blamed things the entire time you are here

 

[NC Analyzer]

Yes, I feel he was pressured. I don't think it has anything to do with teen angst. Adults can be pressured in many ways, whether it be which restaurant to eat at because everyone wants Chilis but I want Olive Garden or which movie to watch.

Call me an enabler all day if you will, it doesn't change my thought process.

I didn't call you an enabler. I said making excuses for MR poor behavior and his own choices is enabling his behavior. If it is that easy to "pressure" people into doing what you want them to do, I think this world would be an entirely different place. We all have choices. We are all responsible for our choices. We may choose to go to Chili's because everyone else wants to eat there, but that is still our choice.
Bad behavior is still bad behavior, no matter what kind of a pretty handle you put on it. Everyone is under pressure from time to time in their life. Being under pressure isn't an excuse for bad behavior, lying, deflecting or otherwise acting like you don't know right from wrong. Bad behavior is just that...bad behavior. No excuses.
If we all allowed for excuses or explained things away because of pressure, we wouldn't have anyone in jail or prison because they would all be saying they were under pressure.

 

[NC Analyzer]

He certainly does seem to be an over the top example of a narcissist. I just got around to watching the Dr Phil show featuring Mark,his Exes, and sons. Everything that came out of that man's mouth was self serving. He seems to have the emotional development of a self centered teenager. However.....if you think about how much Dylan looks line him, then the definition of narcissist and potential murderer are in conflict. A true narcissist wouldn't murder a reflection of himself?

I would have to do some pretty extensive research on that last sentence...but I also see Elaine when I look at pictures of Dylan, so that may speak for itself.

 

[SCHMAE]

Which brings me to a question.
There are those who feel 100% that MR is responsible.
I myself am at 80 to 90% . SODDI being the other 10%
There are those who seem to feel MR is not responsible. 0%
For those who feel MR is not responsible or even if you're on the
fence about him , if you remove everything else you know about this
case and only ask yourself this one question, please tell me what you get.
How does a loving father who believes his son is taken by a stranger intentionally
make that child wait ONE MORE DAY because he do not want to take a poly?


eta, sorry i did not make it look like ^^ that on purpose.

 

[NC Analyzer]

I think we can talk all day about what we would do in this situation, but until you're (general you) under that microscope of people pointing their fingers at you, then we have no idea how we'd react. I know if my child went missing and everyone assumed I did it and was analyzing every move I made, every word that came out of my mouth, every time my eyeballs looked left or down or rolled in the back of my head, then yeah at some point you have to shut down. Nothing he could say or do would change anyone's opinion of him. It's past that point now.

I believe you would be very, very surprised at what you would do, what you are capable of doing and the fact that you would find strength you never knew you had. You are describing things that all parents think until it actually happens to them. We are capable of much, much more than we believe we can bear....especially when it comes to our children.

 

[NC Analyzer]

True . When MR said this is happening too fast, my brain started clicking off the calendar days since Nov 19 and thinking one more day, one more HOUR is too long if you're the victim of a pedophile and no one is looking for you because they think your dad is responsible. If MR believed someone else has his son, why would he want him to wait another day ?

And we've seen that response just with the opportunity to tape the Dr. Phil show. MR wanted to postpone the whole thing 2 weeks! Who postpones anything 2 weeks if they actually believe their child is in the hands of a pedophile? Unbelievable!

 

[cluciano63]

could it change things... if MR had taken DR's phone away, or any other texting gadgets...as in- you aren't staying on those dad blamed things the entire time you are here

You mean, and he is lying about it?
It is possible. But such a stupid lie to keep up with, especially when he knows that police are having to focus on Sunday as well as Monday, due to the very fact of the non-communication by Dylan. So he would be interfering with an investigation, not in the best of interests of Dylan, if indeed he was holding back an important fact like that. He could certainly be charged with tampering, at the least, if he knows what happened to the phone. It would really show he cares more about himself than finding Dylan.

 

[mijamawi]

I didn't call you an enabler. I said making excuses for MR poor behavior and his own choices is enabling behavior. If it is that easy to "pressure" people into doing what you want them to do, I think this world would be an entirely different place. We all have choices. We are all responsible for our choices. We may choose to go to Chili's because everyone else wants to eat there, but that is still our choice.
Bad behavior is still bad behavior, no matter what kind of a pretty handle you put on it. Everyone is under pressure from time to time in their life. Being under pressure isn't an excuse for bad behavior, lying, deflecting or otherwise acting like you don't know right from wrong. Bad behavior is just that...bad behavior. No excuses.
If we all allowed for excuses or explained things away because of pressure, we wouldn't have anyone in jail or prison because they would all be saying they were under pressure.

Ok I get that. I said I felt MR was pressured into saying he'd take the poly. Regardless of the psychology behind it, I think he felt pressure to say he'd take it.

Which brings me to a question.
There are those who feel 100% that MR is responsible.
I myself am at 80 to 90% . SODDI being the other 10%
There are those who seem to feel MR is not responsible. 0%
For those who feel MR is not responsible or even if you're on the
fence about him , if you remove everything else you know about this
case and only ask yourself this one question, please tell me what you get.
How does a loving father who believes his son is taken by a stranger intentionally
make that child wait ONE MORE DAY because he do not want to take a poly?


eta, sorry i did not make it look like ^^ that on purpose.

Well, IMO, taking a poly on a TV show shouldn't dictate how LE handles a missing child case. If he took the poly and passed or failed, how is that going to make LE move any quicker?

I believe you would be very, very surprised at what you would do, what you are capable of doing and the fact that you would find strength you never knew you had. You are describing things that all parents think until it actually happens to them. We are capable of much, much more than we believe we can bear....especially when it comes to our children.

I'm sure we are. Still, I can't say with 100% certainty what I would or would not do. There are too many different factors at play to give a blanket statement on how I would react.

 

[rosesfromangels]

And we've seen that response just with the opportunity to tape the Dr. Phil show. MR wanted to postpone the whole thing 2 weeks! Who postpones anything 2 weeks if they actually believe their child is in the hands of a pedophile? Unbelievable!

Indeed. Either this man is pure evil, or has the misfortune of certainly appearing so.

 

[mijamawi]

And we've seen that response just with the opportunity to tape the Dr. Phil show. MR wanted to postpone the whole thing 2 weeks! Who postpones anything 2 weeks if they actually believe their child is in the hands of a pedophile? Unbelievable!

I still fail to equate Dr. Phill show to solving the case. The show is done. Dylan is still missing. They are no closer to finding Dylan than they were before. JMO

 

[Confusion]

Which brings me to a question.
There are those who feel 100% that MR is responsible.
I myself am at 80 to 90% . SODDI being the other 10%
There are those who seem to feel MR is not responsible. 0%
For those who feel MR is not responsible or even if you're on the
fence about him , if you remove everything else you know about this
case and only ask yourself this one question, please tell me what you get.
How does a loving father who believes his son is taken by a stranger intentionally
make that child wait ONE MORE DAY because he do not want to take a poly?

eta, sorry i did not make it look like ^^ that on purpose.

I can think of a few reasons (but no excuse!):

He really does believe ER is responsible, and he doesn't think DR is in any danger. (Not likely)

He's given up hope and believes DR is already dead.

He doesn't believe he'd be given a fair test considering the way the rest of the show went.

He doesn't believe the investigation was halted while they awaited the results of his poly.

Enough for now. MOO

 

[SCHMAE]

Phils' words to MR were ' eliminate yourself' so that LE can look elsewhere if they're looking at the wrong person. If MR knows he's the wrong person and knows LE is looking at him closely and wants to get them looking for the right person ( which btw he's said he wants le to look closely at him so they'll know its not him, so they can go find the real bad guy ) then it should not take another day when you have someone ready to ' clear your name ' right in front of you . Clear yourself so the real perps can be found. He not only put it off another day, he put it off INDEFINITELY because that was two weeks ago now? What's 15 or 18 more days to a child at the hands of a really gross perpetrator ?