CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #50

[azgrandma]

BBM

I disagree on this. I hope that LE treated Mark like any other suspect and they used all techniques possible including using deception about his polygraph results if they felt it was necessary.

BBM - I would agree that they have treated MR like any other suspect. I don't believe that he has been named a suspect, yet, but appreciate your observation that he has been treated as one. MOO, the deception by LE would include statements such as, ******** has been fully cooperative with the investigation. ******* has not been named a suspect. We have no suspect. etc. Those are the types of deception that I believe LE engages in as well. all MOO

 

[RANCH]

BBM

Wouldn't that be great? lease:

I'm not sure how great that would be. What I think would be great is Dylan being found and the person or persons responsible being brought to justice. MOO.

 

[Money Girl]

I do not, nor will I probably ever understand why anyone objects to "mediation". Those two parents should be talking to each other. Obviously they need someone strong who will set down rules of engagement that include letting both parties speak and at least try to understand the other's perspective. I see MR already attempting to see things from his son Cory's point of view and somewhat trying with Elaine. I don't see anyone else putting forth an effort like that. A skilled mediator just might be able to help Dylan's parents put Dylan first instead of themselves.

LE suggested Mark and Elaine get with a mediator months ago.

That was not something that MR pulled out of the air.

 

[azgrandma]

I would hope that any lead or possibly sighting of Dylan that is called into LE is thoroughly followed up and I have no reason to not believe that is happening. Facebook is a social media site and I hope those that are posting about possible sightings are calling LE also. I don't have the link but I remember LE saying they have followed up on out-of-county/state sightings.



JMO/MOO

BBM and snipped by me. I remember back in early December I believe, there was a post on FMDR by a woman, she said something to the effect of "Dylan's in our home too" very brief and the comment drew concern. The woman posted later that she was p-o'd because LE was knocking on her door. All within hours.

I felt then, as I do know, that LE is taking ANY AND ALL sightings and mentionings of Dylan very seriously. It all turned out that this woman meant that Dylan was a common and frequent topic in their home and they prayed for him daily. Totally innocent, but taken seriously by LE.

 

[rebeccaeee]

LE suggested Mark and Elaine get with a mediator months ago.

That was not something that MR pulled out of the air.

Link, please? I do not recall this suggestion originating from LE.

 

[azgrandma]

I do not, nor will I probably ever understand why anyone objects to "mediation". Those two parents should be talking to each other. Obviously they need someone strong who will set down rules of engagement that include letting both parties speak and at least try to understand the other's perspective. I see MR already attempting to see things from his son Cory's point of view and somewhat trying with Elaine. I don't see anyone else putting forth an effort like that. A skilled mediator just might be able to help Dylan's parents put Dylan first instead of themselves.

BBM I couldn't agree with you more, they both should be talking to each other, it's a bit difficult when MR has blocked EH's phone calls and text though. Perhpas that would be a good first step so to speak, unblock the phone number of the mother of your missing child so that calls can be made by either party when necessary. I don't believe mediation is warranted, they are not married, they aren't in the middle of a divorce, there is no dispute of property or finances between the two parties, there is nothing to mediate. all MOO

 

[RANCH]

BBM - I would agree that they have treated MR like any other suspect. I don't believe that he has been named a suspect, yet, but appreciate your observation that he has been treated as one. MOO, the deception by LE would include statements such as, ******** has been fully cooperative with the investigation. ******* has not been named a suspect. We have no suspect. etc. Those are the types of deception that I believe LE engages in as well. all MOO

I think what LE tells the public, which in this case is little, is one thing and techniques used during interrogations/interviews is another. Telling the public that someone is cooperating with when their not makes little sense to me. It doesn't put any pressure on the subject. Now if that persons really isn't cooperating, letting the public know that fact would put some pressure on him.

Not publicly naming someone a POI or a suspect when they are is a liability issue more than anything else in my opinion. I think that everyone including Mark knew that he was a suspect at the beginning because he was the last person to be seen with Dylan. He didn't need to be named a suspect by LE for everyone to figure that out. MOO.

 

[Bayou Mistress]

BBM I couldn't agree with you more, they both should be talking to each other, it's a bit difficult when MR has blocked EH's phone calls and text though. Perhpas that would be a good first step so to speak, unblock the phone number of the mother of your missing child so that calls can be made by either party when necessary. I don't believe mediation is warranted, they are not married, they aren't in the middle of a divorce, there is no dispute of property or finances between the two parties, there is nothing to mediate. all MOO

Obviously, because of difficulties between them, Mark has found it necessary to limit his communication with Elaine. That is what a mediator can help with. Without pointing fingers, I can say that no one wants to be talked over or talked to. A mediator might be able to help Dylan's parents talk "with" one another. Clearly, they aren't capable on their own or even with a TV therapist gone ratings hungry.

 

[Money Girl]

Link, please? I do not recall this suggestion originating from LE.

Rebeccaeee, this is the MSM link I found the quickest. I believe there was one or two before this one.

http://durangoherald.com/article/20130126/NEWS01/130129704/Demonstrators-call-out-Mark-Redwine

 

[AnotherSetOfEyes]

I do not, nor will I probably ever understand why anyone objects to "mediation". Those two parents should be talking to each other. Obviously they need someone strong who will set down rules of engagement that include letting both parties speak and at least try to understand the other's perspective. I see MR already attempting to see things from his son Cory's point of view and somewhat trying with Elaine. I don't see anyone else putting forth an effort like that. A skilled mediator just might be able to help Dylan's parents put Dylan first instead of themselves.

I think Elaine and Cory should maintain physical distance from MR. If MR really wants to talk and share information about the search for Dylan, it can be done via a conference call which I am sure either LE or lawyers could facilitate.

_____
JMO

 

[RANCH]

LE suggested Mark and Elaine get with a mediator months ago.

That was not something that MR pulled out of the air.

Link, please? I do not recall this suggestion originating from LE.

I think that this is it. Dated 1/23/13

He said he spoke with investigators and they recommended that he and Elaine Redwine get a mediator and meet to clear the air. He said he plans to do that through his divorce attorney

http://gazette.com/article/150110

 

[cluciano63]

How on earth will a mediator help find Dylan, if he was taken by a predator?
These two adults hate each other. Nothing is going to change that. ER believes MR knows where Dylan is, and MR just taunts, goads, insults and teases, IMO.

Maybe if Dylan is somehow found alive, then yes, mediation should be ordered for them. But nothing is going to change ER's mind right now, except evidence about another perp. Apparently LE has said nothing to her that makes her believe she is wrong.

JMO

 

[scorekeeper]

Mark texted Elaine about Dylan being missing. Elaine reported Dylan missing. Mark refused to speak with Elaine (heck he may have not been talking to Elaine even before Dylan disappeared). It seems he likes to text and email.

Mediation is for those getting divorced. Mark and Elaine has been divorced for awhile now.

Yes, it would have been nice if Mark would have called Elaine and told her Dylan was missing and that he would meet her at the Sheriff's office but HE didn't do that. He went home and waited on his family....

 

[Bayou Mistress]

How on earth will a mediator help find Dylan, if he was taken by a predator?
These two adults hate each other. Nothing is going to change that. ER believes MR knows where Dylan is, and MR just taunts, goads, insults and teases, IMO.

Maybe if Dylan is somehow found alive, then yes, mediation should be ordered for them. But nothing is going to change ER's mind right now, except evidence about another perp. Apparently LE has said nothing to her that makes her believe she is wrong.

JMO

Perhaps I am eternally hopeful and think that maybe they just ought to be working together to find their son. Oh well, you may be right. Elaine does seem to really detest Mark and blame him in addition. I don't believe that Elaine has any more information about the investigation by LE than Mark does. That may be some unrepentant hope on your part. Most of all, I hope Dylan is found alive and gets to go home.

 

[mijamawi]

How on earth will a mediator help find Dylan, if he was taken by a predator?
These two adults hate each other. Nothing is going to change that. ER believes MR knows where Dylan is, and MR just taunts, goads, insults and teases, IMO.

Maybe if Dylan is somehow found alive, then yes, mediation should be ordered for them. But nothing is going to change ER's mind right now, except evidence about another perp. Apparently LE has said nothing to her that makes her believe she is wrong.

JMO

TBH, if I wasn't invested in this case from the get go, I woud be totally turned off by the behavior of both ER and MR. If a mediator can assist with them becoming a united front for their son, then what can it hurt?

 

[Bayou Mistress]

http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/treatment/mediatn.htm

"Mediation is one of several approaches to conflict resolution that uses a "third party" intermediary to help the disputing parties resolve their conflict. Unlike arbitration, where the third party actually makes the decision about how the conflict should be resolved, mediators only assist the parties in their efforts to formulate a solution of their own. Thus, mediators bring the parties together (or sometimes shuttle between them), help them describe the problem in terms of negotiable interests and needs rather than non-negotiable positions, and develop a set of ideas for how the interests and needs of both sides can be met simultaneously. The mediator will then help the parties assess the relative merits of the different options and draft an agreement that works best to satisfy everyone’s interests. It is up to the parties, however, to decide whether to accept the final agreement or not. While there may be considerable social pressure to agree to the settlement, if it does not meet the needs of a party as well as an alternative approach might, that party is still free to reject the settlement and try an alternative conflict resolution technique, be it litigation, direct action, an election, or war.

Mediation has been used successfully in many different kinds of conflicts. It is widely utilized (and very successful) in the United States and elsewhere for handling divorce and child custody cases. It is also commonly used for other kinds of interpersonal disputes (such as disputes between neighbors, roommates, or co-workers) labor-management disputes, community disputes, environmental disputes, and international disputes."

BBM. Lots of problems benefit from mediation. Elaine and Mark have a common interest: DYLAN. Cory as well.

 

[RANCH]

How on earth will a mediator help find Dylan, if he was taken by a predator?
These two adults hate each other. Nothing is going to change that. ER believes MR knows where Dylan is, and MR just taunts, goads, insults and teases, IMO.

Maybe if Dylan is somehow found alive, then yes, mediation should be ordered for them. But nothing is going to change ER's mind right now, except evidence about another perp. Apparently LE has said nothing to her that makes her believe she is wrong.

JMO

I think that anything that will help the public focus on finding Dylan and away from Mark, Cory and Elaine's personal disputes is a positive thing. Maybe a mediator could convince all of them to concentrate their efforts on the search for Dylan and not on each other. MOO.

 

[catswhiskers]

How on earth will a mediator help find Dylan, if he was taken by a predator?
These two adults hate each other. Nothing is going to change that. ER believes MR knows where Dylan is, and MR just taunts, goads, insults and teases, IMO.

Maybe if Dylan is somehow found alive, then yes, mediation should be ordered for them. But nothing is going to change ER's mind right now, except evidence about another perp. Apparently LE has said nothing to her that makes her believe she is wrong.

JMO

bbm - I have never seen any evidence of this. In fact imo MR is on the receiving end of all of that kind of treatment from many individuals - taunting, goading, insulting, teasing, and I will add threatening to the mix as well.

 

[scorekeeper]

I'm not sure how great that would be. What I think would be great is Dylan being found and the person or persons responsible being brought to justice. MOO.

If Mark is not involved in Dylan's disappearance and LE has other suspect(s), I think it would be a start to the healing process for this broken family.

 

[Bayou Mistress]

bbm - I have never seen any evidence of this. In fact imo MR is on the receiving end of all of that kind of treatment from many individuals - taunting, goading, insulting, teasing, and I will add threatening to the mix as well.

Absolutely an astute observation. Thanks just wasn't enough!