CO Father of missing baby 25 years ago reaches out to parents of baby Lisa

[Lavanda Dolce]

The reporter on the local Fox station got a few facts incorrect. They are going to do that. The reporter said 6 kids sleeping in the house the night of my brothers disappearance. No, Christopher has 6 siblings per the website (which I am sure is where he got the info), but only 3 of us were home the night of the kidnapping. The reporter said my Father was a former Police Commisioner. My Dad did work for LE years before Christophers kidnapping in a civil service capacity on a board for the Police Commissioner. He said he was President of the National Center for Missing Children. No, he formed Families of Missing Children. Interestingly, we have dealt with the media for years and they are going to get some of their facts wrong, but I can see if someone has never dealt with media and saw the report, they would be turned off by talking to the media because it is frustrating that the facts may not be the facts.

I cannot begin to tell you how many times the media gets the information wrong and others pick it up and carry it forward. Of course you've had to live that We screen all reporters prior and have a record of which are tactful, helpful and report accurately...an incorrect report can literally throw off the need of the public's attention...including details such as wrong dates, places, descriptions, etc. Thank you for your post and prayers for your family, as well.

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

I've heard it said that families that lose children are very drawn to other families that lose children. This man couldn't help his own child. Maybe he was trying to help a family who might, do what he couldn't for his own child. Maybe it was just that he does this to pay back what people did for him.

To not even speak to a man who reached out to them, a man who 25 years ago didn't have the support system in place that we have now, a man who felt the need to help in some way. I have no good explanation as to why. Because there is none when someone extends a hand to you and can't even extend yourself enough to say Thank YOU? Why? Media Deal locked up signed sealed and delivered maybe? I think that is a fair speculation!

These parents need to learn some manners. If they didn't want his help they could have expressed their thanks and at least listened to his story. But to send him away? Something is not adding up here folks. I have never been one to blame the parents. For me it is always a tough line to cross when I begin to say wait a minute.

What is wrong with these people? Why hurt a man that has refused to give up hope for 25 years?

http://www.coloradoconnection.com/news/story.aspx?id=637590#.TpjSu3JcTRQ

They didn't quite turn him away. A relative answered the door and hurriedly shut it. Did not give him time to speak. He is going to go back again as his daughter posted here.

 

[pferrin]

Well said Granmaj..thank you

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

Its like they did not even let him get his name out...I just think its rude and unbelievable to treat ANYONE like that-There is NEVER a good time or reason to be rude to anyone-JMO!!

Who is "they?" I understand it was a relative that answered the door. It was one person. The family may not even know about him or why he came. While he has obvious experience and the same traumas bestowed upon him....I'm just not so sure that the mom and dad are ready to hear how his son was never found I think the day may come...but possibly far too soon. I remember my first epilepsy support meeting when my son was an infant and a woman befriended me and layed her hands on mine to tell me she knew exactly what I was feeling. I asked her if they found the right medication for her child and she told me that he passed away from status epileptus. Like THAT was NOT what I wanted to hear. I honestly was devastated WORSE from that and wish I never attended! Naturally as I adjusted and learned and felt a little more confident in my son's condition and doctors I was able to join another group..but trust me...I did not go back to that same support group after that night!

 

[pinkfly]

To me, this action makes the parents look guilty and I so did not want to start thinking that.

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

I've heard it said that families that lose children are very drawn to other families that lose children. This man couldn't help his own child. Maybe he was trying to help a family who might, do what he couldn't for his own child. Maybe it was just that he does this to pay back what people did for him.

To not even speak to a man who reached out to them, a man who 25 years ago didn't have the support system in place that we have now, a man who felt the need to help in some way. I have no good explanation as to why. Because there is none when someone extends a hand to you and can't even extend yourself enough to say Thank YOU? Why? Media Deal locked up signed sealed and delivered maybe? I think that is a fair speculation!

These parents need to learn some manners. If they didn't want his help they could have expressed their thanks and at least listened to his story. But to send him away? Something is not adding up here folks. I have never been one to blame the parents. For me it is always a tough line to cross when I begin to say wait a minute.

What is wrong with these people? Why hurt a man that has refused to give up hope for 25 years?

http://www.coloradoconnection.com/news/story.aspx?id=637590#.TpjSu3JcTRQ

As the President and Founder of a missing person's organization I can tell you that none of my missing families are ready to bond with others until a number of weeks after their loved one is missing and not located. This family is not thinking they "lost" a child. They are thinking that someone evil, horrible and cruel came into their home and stole their baby. They need hope right now...hope that she will be found, that all possible is being done. They need rest. They need to eat properly. They need to care for the other children as those children cannot understand nor endure this kind of trauma. They need to communicate with the police and with immediate family and close personal friends...not the public, not co-workers, not distant friends. The public is fully aware of the situation now. The time will come when they will be ready to step back to the podium...they need to clear their brains and think very hard about the past few months about anyone that may have been in their life that could have done something like this. They need to search for their child without the public being aware or they will be pounced upon by the media...even if that "search" means by recalling places, people, situations that may have a clue as to where Lisa could be. They need to think about all they talked to online, on the phone...etc. It's also known that men have much more stamina to pick up and be out in the public eye when a child is missing...such as Marc Klaas, John Walsh, Mark Lunsford...statistics also show that when an older teenager is missing it is the mother that is more apt to be in the public eye much sooner than the father....so this is not unusual or for anyone to think they are hiding anything.

 

[EllaMae]

Its like they did not even let him get his name out...I just think its rude and unbelievable to treat ANYONE like that-There is NEVER a good time or reason to be rude to anyone-JMO!!

This family is in the midst of a nightmare the level of which most of us can only imagine. If they don't want to have a conversation with a stranger then I don't see how anyone could hold that against them. Gil himself probably can understand it.

MOO.

 

[grandmaj]

As the President and Founder of a missing person's organization I can tell you that none of my missing families are ready to bond with others until a number of weeks after their loved one is missing and not located. This family is not thinking they "lost" a child. They are thinking that someone evil, horrible and cruel came into their home and stole their baby. They need hope right now...hope that she will be found, that all possible is being done. They need rest. They need to eat properly. They need to care for the other children as those children cannot understand nor endure this kind of trauma. They need to communicate with the police and with immediate family and close personal friends...not the public, not co-workers, not distant friends. The public is fully aware of the situation now. The time will come when they will be ready to step back to the podium...they need to clear their brains and think very hard about the past few months about anyone that may have been in their life that could have done something like this. They need to search for their child without the public being aware or they will be pounced upon by the media...even if that "search" means by recalling places, people, situations that may have a clue as to where Lisa could be. They need to think about all they talked to online, on the phone...etc. It's also known that men have much more stamina to pick up and be out in the public eye when a child is missing...such as Marc Klaas, John Walsh, Mark Lunsford...statistics also show that when an older teenager is missing it is the mother that is more apt to be in the public eye much sooner than the father....so this is not unusual or for anyone to think they are hiding anything.

If Lisa was truly abducted I would agree with your statements.

But for me the jury is out on that in recent days.

 

[Twelve of One]

Well, Gil must think they're credible or he wouldn't be there. So he just needs to step back until they are ready for him.

 

[denalves]

As the President and Founder of a missing person's organization I can tell you that none of my missing families are ready to bond with others until a number of weeks after their loved one is missing and not located. This family is not thinking they "lost" a child. They are thinking that someone evil, horrible and cruel came into their home and stole their baby. They need hope right now...hope that she will be found, that all possible is being done. They need rest. They need to eat properly. They need to care for the other children as those children cannot understand nor endure this kind of trauma. They need to communicate with the police and with immediate family and close personal friends...not the public, not co-workers, not distant friends. The public is fully aware of the situation now. The time will come when they will be ready to step back to the podium...they need to clear their brains and think very hard about the past few months about anyone that may have been in their life that could have done something like this. They need to search for their child without the public being aware or they will be pounced upon by the media...even if that "search" means by recalling places, people, situations that may have a clue as to where Lisa could be. They need to think about all they talked to online, on the phone...etc. It's also known that men have much more stamina to pick up and be out in the public eye when a child is missing...such as Marc Klaas, John Walsh, Mark Lunsford...statistics also show that when an older teenager is missing it is the mother that is more apt to be in the public eye much sooner than the father....so this is not unusual or for anyone to think they are hiding anything.

My family lived through this nightmare and I agree, you need "hope". But hope alone is not going to bring back their child. I can tell you from experience that once my Mom failed the polygraph and a lake was being drained, there were people who said "The Police must know more information." My Parents knew it was important that they get out in the media to talk so people wouldn't give up on Christopher and not look. Also talk to the kidnapper watching the news. As much pain as it is to go through this and unless you have experienced it you will never know, you have to push through for your baby. My Mom lost 20lbs the first two weeks from not eating. You have to accept help and you have to talk to people. My Mom started to do her own investigating and people who wouldn't talk to LE were more empathetic to the Mother. When my brother was kidnapped, if only there was someone who had been through this and could have given my Parents some guidance and direction! My Father knows that and that is why he is in Kansas City.

 

[justbetweenus]

Who is "they?" I understand it was a relative that answered the door. It was one person. The family may not even know about him or why he came. While he has obvious experience and the same traumas bestowed upon him....I'm just not so sure that the mom and dad are ready to hear how his son was never found I think the day may come...but possibly far too soon. I remember my first epilepsy support meeting when my son was an infant and a woman befriended me and layed her hands on mine to tell me she knew exactly what I was feeling. I asked her if they found the right medication for her child and she told me that he passed away from status epileptus. Like THAT was NOT what I wanted to hear. I honestly was devastated WORSE from that and wish I never attended! Naturally as I adjusted and learned and felt a little more confident in my son's condition and doctors I was able to join another group..but trust me...I did not go back to that same support group after that night!

BBM: Exactly what I was thinking. Their family are likely responsible for him not being able to speak with them. They want to keep Deb and jeremy optimistic, not listen to a fathers sad story of not being able to find his baby after 25 years.

 

[denalves]

We do understand that the family may be in shock and not know who is trustworthy. My Father did leave his card and a note for the family. He has not heard from them just yet, but I hope the family will accept his helping hand.

 

[justbetweenus]

We do understand that the family may be in shock and not know who is trustworthy. My Father did leave his card and a note for the family. He has not heard from them just yet, but I hope the family will accept his helping hand.

I'm very sure they will in time. My heart goes out to you and your family, and pray you find your brother soon. I can't imagine what you have been through all these years. Hugs.

 

[~n/t~]

I understand both sides. I think it all depends on the individual (s). Some people welcome the support from anyone including a total stranger others would be more withdrawn and perhaps devestated to learn that their loved one may never be found. 25 years is a long time. Parents may want to believe their baby will be found tomorrow.

What exactly is Christopher's dad's goal? To help support the parents? Search for Baby Lisa? I'm unclear. I think his heart is in the right place but probably not the right time. IDK.

 

[SyraKelly]

The Family,the person who answer the door,who ever it was..could have been a little more polite to this gentlemen..Thats all I am trying to say.They could have said something like Mr.A I am sorry for your loss,but right now is not a good time, maybe we can meet other day,but we thank you for coming..he was there to help and offer his condolances to a family he felt a kinship to.To say this family is in shock is the reason they acted this way is not an excuse,yes their daughter is gone,but how and why! I am shock that some people think this behavior was OK-I just don't agree!!! I am sorry!! I think its time for me to go back to lurking!!

My husband just said this to me..are they going through a nightmare or did they create this nightmare!!!!!

 

[frankie069]

My family lived through this nightmare and I agree, you need "hope". But hope alone is not going to bring back their child. I can tell you from experience that once my Mom failed the polygraph and a lake was being drained, there were people who said "The Police must know more information." My Parents knew it was important that they get out in the media to talk so people wouldn't give up on Christopher and not look. Also talk to the kidnapper watching the news. As much pain as it is to go through this and unless you have experienced it you will never know, you have to push through for your baby. My Mom lost 20lbs the first two weeks from not eating. You have to accept help and you have to talk to people. My Mom started to do her own investigating and people who wouldn't talk to LE were more empathetic to the Mother. When my brother was kidnapped, if only there was someone who had been through this and could have given my Parents some guidance and direction! My Father knows that and that is why he is in Kansas City.

Your family went about it the proper way, once again I say thank you to your dad for being there for this family, this cannot be easy for him. I just dont think they are going to want his help because they are guilty, yes I said it before I am off this fence now, I have chosen my side so I shall speak like I think they are guilty. This family has done nothing that your family did. Your mother in her despair was out there, not hiding. I commend her. Both your parents knew at a time when people really didnt know about these things that the parents are always the first suspects, these parents are treating this like a game. Lets hang some pretty little posters on a tree with tape, smile.. quick the camera is there, ok, now bring the posters back into the house and now and we will hide again. I couldnt sit still if this were my child.

something is just not right..

 

[marge_rita]

I've heard it said that families that lose children are very drawn to other families that lose children. This man couldn't help his own child. Maybe he was trying to help a family who might, do what he couldn't for his own child. Maybe it was just that he does this to pay back what people did for him.

To not even speak to a man who reached out to them, a man who 25 years ago didn't have the support system in place that we have now, a man who felt the need to help in some way. I have no good explanation as to why. Because there is none when someone extends a hand to you and can't even extend yourself enough to say Thank YOU? Why? Media Deal locked up signed sealed and delivered maybe? I think that is a fair speculation!

These parents need to learn some manners. If they didn't want his help they could have expressed their thanks and at least listened to his story. But to send him away? Something is not adding up here folks. I have never been one to blame the parents. For me it is always a tough line to cross when I begin to say wait a minute.

What is wrong with these people? Why hurt a man that has refused to give up hope for 25 years?

http://www.coloradoconnection.com/news/story.aspx?id=637590#.TpjSu3JcTRQ

:tyou::takeabow:

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

My family lived through this nightmare and I agree, you need "hope". But hope alone is not going to bring back their child. I can tell you from experience that once my Mom failed the polygraph and a lake was being drained, there were people who said "The Police must know more information." My Parents knew it was important that they get out in the media to talk so people wouldn't give up on Christopher and not look. Also talk to the kidnapper watching the news. As much pain as it is to go through this and unless you have experienced it you will never know, you have to push through for your baby. My Mom lost 20lbs the first two weeks from not eating. You have to accept help and you have to talk to people. My Mom started to do her own investigating and people who wouldn't talk to LE were more empathetic to the Mother. When my brother was kidnapped, if only there was someone who had been through this and could have given my Parents some guidance and direction! My Father knows that and that is why he is in Kansas City.

I absolutely agree regarding all your father is doing and it is wonderful. However, instead of just showing up on their doorstep...perhaps he could have prepared them of his arrival? Made contact with Steve Young to give the information to the family? That might have gained him entrance. I understand the part of all of what you are saying...as stated above I work with many families of missing and they all have their own ways and means of coping. I have one mother whose son went missing and who has never been in front of a media camera ...ever...as her grief was just too overwhelming. Her husband was able to do it. They were able to both do it in time but it took over 7 months before she could. I have another mom who has yet to ever go to her missing daughter's facebook page. I just do not understand why it is felt that the mother needs to prove herself to others. She does not. Let the police determine that.

If there was no media involved I would be pushing every single button to get every possible media involved and be guiding the family through media interviews, however, the media is out there so the public is aware. The mother has done her pleas for her baby. She will be back out there. It works both ways, because she is or isn't out there is not going to change the public opinion. In this day of internet blogs, forums and the recent Casey Anthony case....it puts a bit of a new angle than what it was 25 years ago. The public has formed their opinion. Even those who may believe the mom is guilty is going to take a second look at a bald headed - blue eyed child in the grocery store.

God forbid that they do not find Baby Lisa and the media dies away and the PD stop doing pressers....which WILL happen as it does with ALL cases....then the mother needs to step up in front of the media to re-activate the public interest. That is all who she needs to prove herself to. In time, she will be ready to go back out there...just right now it is obviously not her moment. Let's not forget Susan Smith was in front of the cameras every single day and she was guilty.

Now on the flip side, I do say, however, that dad should be out in front of the cameras. Because he is not right now says that they are being guided by some means and I do believe it has to do with the "exclusive" and I can only assume that the family who has no monetary means to have a reward fund, and no guidance by any org on how to set one up, that they have fallen to compliance with whatever agreement was made and quite possibly so that the reward fund could be posted and a generous one at that. Let's keep the prayers that someone with information WILL come forward. Let's remember the mom has not been named a person of interest or a suspect (As you stated your mom was. That also puts a whole new angle on the case)...And most importantly...lets hope with all of the present media ongoing that needed answers will come and Baby Lisa will be brought home safely.

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

We do understand that the family may be in shock and not know who is trustworthy. My Father did leave his card and a note for the family. He has not heard from them just yet, but I hope the family will accept his helping hand.

OT, of sorts: This can also be a positive for your father. He should contact one of the major reporters and tell them his story as he too has an unbearing loss that is ongoing.

We work with a mom whose baby was also abducted from his sleeping bassinet from a woman who stalked mom from within the hospital corridors. (see Raymond Lamar Green thread here on WS) It has been 33 years for Donna, his mother. Right now is "prime time" for a media to present these cases and the other 11 that have happened over the years as it could shed new light on your kidnapped brother as well as the other babies who are all now adults.

Taking advantage of any "changes" to a case is what revives the case to the media. Which by the way we were contacted by a young man in Belize who stated he was Baby Raymond. His method of contacting us was a bit "odd" and I cannot go into details but to tell you that I did not initially believe him but I went forward as any and all leads needs explored. He sent me his photograph. That is when I about fell off my chair. He not only looked like Raymond's siblings, but he was an exact copy of the recreated photograph done by the NCMEC...including the lazy eye. We did not share the photo with Donna as we did not want her to get her hopes up and become even more devastated. We did tell her, of course, of every step and all the details...We immediately organized to have his DNA done. We waited for 9 months only for it to be found he was not Baby Raymond. But it did bring his case "alive" again. Donna will forever look at every young man in every public place, as I am sure your parents do as well.

I think your dad should take Christopher's case to the media now as I believe one just never knows who may be watching and who may have information that could lead to a possible finding of your brother. Never give up hope. Someone took him and more than probably to have a child of their own. Somewhere out there Christopher may "know" in his gut that his parents are not his own and may be exploring. Not many automatically assume they were abducted, many may feel they were merely adopted and going through all the adoptive forums trying to find their birth parents. I pray that you will find your brother and I pray for both of your parents. As a parent of 3, I just cannot imagine.

 

[Lavanda Dolce]

We do understand that the family may be in shock and not know who is trustworthy. My Father did leave his card and a note for the family. He has not heard from them just yet, but I hope the family will accept his helping hand.

Awesome! I'm glad he left a note. I hope they will invariably call him...in their time. May not be today or tomorrow but could be next week.