CO - Jessica Ridgeway, 10, Westminster, 5 Oct. 2012 - #23

[LotusPawprint]

I hope this isn't off topic. Have the Ridgeways been able to bury Jessica? If so I pray they were given the privacy they need. I also thought do to the circumstances they may chose to wait a bit for more to develope. ( I cant write it.) I feel so sorry for them to bear all this grief for their child. God hold them in the Palm of Your Hands.lease:lease:

Although the church and community will do a fine job of making the service a lovely tribute to Jessica's life like they did at the memorial, I can't imagine their overbearing grief. Like every murder victim's family and friends experience each day. Let them all feel the love and support from neighbors and strangers alike and especially their lost loved one guiding them from above.

 

[kkdj]

BBM: is this who you're thinking of? Dr. Daniel Amen? http://www.amenclinics.com/

There are some pretty fascinating brain scan pics here: http://www.amenclinics.com/the-science/spect-gallery, and some of people who are said to have benefited from treatment here: http://www.amenclinics.com/the-science/spect-gallery/category/images-of-treatment-2.

The site's a little on the commercial/sales-pitch-y side, but if you can overlook that the information is really interesting.

That's it! Thanks! His research is so amazing and valuable! He's an excellent dr. And very personable.

 

[nikb]

That's it! Thanks! His research is so amazing and valuable! He's an excellent dr. And very personable.

Hooray, glad it was the right doc/site!. I agree, amazing, valuable, and so interesting IMO. I haven't met him, but he seems to be a really good speaker too, and passionate about his practice. I know he has his skeptics, most docs who get "famous" do it seems like, but I really trust that this guy's heart and work are in the right place.

Now if only he could find a way to save kids before the unthinkable happens. It does seem he's trying to though, and he's closer than anyone I've read about in the past. MOO.

 

[nikb]

I hope this isn't off topic. Have the Ridgeways been able to bury Jessica? If so I pray they were given the privacy they need. <snipped for space>

BBM: To answer your question and since I've been following this case, not that I know of. If they were able to bury her, they got the privacy they needed IMO because I haven't read or seen anything about it. As it should be! But I'm pretty sure one of us would've found it and posted it if there was an article or news video. For the family's sake I'm hoping that finding her is bringing some form of closure even if they can't bury her quite yet.

 

[Daisy1975]

The question is how much tax money do you want to spend on trials like this?

Murder trials used to take a few days to complete. Even capital murder. Appeals could be wrapped up in a few months and an execution could be completed in less then a year after the crime was committed.

Now the process takes years just to get to trail. The appeals last for decades, and usually the convicted murderer dies of natural causes before he is even executed. Whats the point?

I'm all for people getting a fair and speedy trail. But this just seems to me to be a way for judges and lawyers to milk the system.

Siggs isn't even up for capital punishment, and his trial probably won't even start for another two or three years. Something is wrong with the system IMHO.

Yes and if I am understanding the charges correctly, he will eventually be eligible for a parole date. More pain subjected to this little girl's family. I caught a documentary the other night about a woman who lived through a BRUTAL rape and had to keep attending parole hearings for the 5 men who attacked her every year or so. It was disgusting.

 

[kkdj]

Hooray, glad it was the right doc/site!. I agree, amazing, valuable, and so interesting IMO. I haven't met him, but he seems to be a really good speaker too, and passionate about his practice. I know he has his skeptics, most docs who get "famous" do it seems like, but I really trust that this guy's heart and work are in the right place.

Now if only he could find a way to save kids before the unthinkable happens. It does seem he's trying to though, and he's closer than anyone I've read about in the past. MOO.

I think it would be a good ideas for the juvenile delinquency system to think about his research and maybe get opinions / diagnosis from him and his staff.
He is very unintimidating with children IMO.
I know the different states don't hVe the funding for this kind of involvement but I just think it could help ward off future violent crimes.
Jmo

 

[human]

there is a lot being done with dealing with children with issues If only it would be done everywhere. It has to do with being compassionate and loving to the child, but setting boundaries.

Parents need to be brought into the mix. They need to learn how to talk to their children.

 

[human]

in my job, I worked with the mother of a child who had witnessed horrible violence. Mother was homeless and they were kicked out of many shelters because of the child"s behavior.

He went to preschool and was going to be kicked out because of his violence.

On board comes the therapist. She enlists several college students to be with this child while he is in school. They grow to love him and even come in during vacations.

I saw prison in this child's future. But, with love and the proper responses to his bad behavior, he became a different child. It was life affirming.

The therapist is wonderful and I wish she could be cloned. People need to learn how to respond in appropriate ways to children exhibiting bad behavior. That does not mean putting them in a corner and shaming them.

 

[osu]

Someone just like Austin, only older:

Chris Wilson ... obsessed with death and murder, wanted to be a mortician ... no reaction when arrested. Trial was May 2012, Washington.

This sounds familiar: "Wilson was sentenced to 14 years, 3 months in prison, the maximum sentence he faced for the killing. He also pleaded guilty to first-degree robbery, as well as second-degree assault on another woman."

http://www.kxly.com/news/spokane-ne...lling/-/101214/14073790/-/y204f4/-/index.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...bbing-17-year-old-Mackenzie-Cowell-death.html

This case was just featured in a one hour episode of CBS "48 Hours" on Saturday night. Chris Wilson was gothic and described by his friends as being "different", and he was employed at a funeral home because was fascinated with dead bodies. Many similarites to ARS, IMO.

The show is called "Secrets of the River" and you can watch the full episode online at the following link.

http://www.cbsnews.com/1770-5_162-0.html?query=Secrets+of+the+River&tag=srch&searchtype=cbsSearch

 

[missalicemay]

there is a lot being done with dealing with children with issues If only it would be done everywhere. It has to do with being compassionate and loving to the child, but setting boundaries.

Parents need to be brought into the mix. They need to learn how to talk to their children.

First the parents have to accept that there is something wrong with their child. I sometimes wonder if they are afraid of their children?

 

[LotusPawprint]

First the parents have to accept that there is something wrong with their child. I sometimes wonder if they are afraid of their children?

I agree that fear of one's child (like this) is a reality, as is denial. How could they not be. Raising a healthy, well - balanced child is hard enough without any additional challenges, forget about whatever's gone on with AS and everything we've speculated (ALOT!) on here.

Of course there are parents who just don't care or contribute to the problems, but for the rest.... what an awful constant struggle looking at your child becoming a monster, trying to get them help, navigate this scary world, fearful and sad for the loss of what your child has become -- and eventually having to turn them in like AS' mother did.

I'm trying to imagine taking the signs and red flags of my child and reporting them before hand, which I would do, and maybe AS' mom did as best she could. There's not much of a protocol for "what to do if your kid is a murderous sociopath". (Or is there.... someone here probably has a link handy!) Hoping instead that they were just dark and isolated and disturbed but who could imagine capable of a crime like this? Then you're left with the results of your child's most horrific actions and all you can do is call to turn him in.

How dreadful.

 

[eileenhawkeye]

BBM: To answer your question and since I've been following this case, not that I know of. If they were able to bury her, they got the privacy they needed IMO because I haven't read or seen anything about it. As it should be! But I'm pretty sure one of us would've found it and posted it if there was an article or news video. For the family's sake I'm hoping that finding her is bringing some form of closure even if they can't bury her quite yet.

I feel like the funeral hasn't happened yet because there's no way the media would not write at least one article about it.

 

[Eireannach]

As far as I know, there has not been a funeral yet. I do know that the family had a private memorial service the morning before the public service. I haven't seen that published anywhere, but it's easier to do that privately than it is to have a funeral privately.

 

[kkdj]

I want to make comment, especially to Human. As much as I am all for studies like the amen clinic, as I do believe that some are born with things such as ADHD and need further attention, I also feel very very strongly that love, nurturing, guidance, etc. Are key comPonents to the well being and outcome of children. It's also true IMO that some children are born with more aggressive tendencies. If you look at a prior post of mine you will realize that we have loved, nurtured, guided, and taught all of this to my at risk grandson. And we Also incorporated a dr. That was an expert with the brain. The combination has worked! We no longer fear he might end up in juvenile hall as his bio dad had.
Believe me, as much as environment plays a huge role, other factors can come into play also. With love, responsibility, acknowledgement, etc. they can all be addressed.
I think we are on the same thought process with all of this.
Jmo

 

[nikb]

there is a lot being done with dealing with children with issues If only it would be done everywhere. It has to do with being compassionate and loving to the child, but setting boundaries.

Parents need to be brought into the mix. They need to learn how to talk to their children.

BBM, I don't know if this applies to Jessica or to ARS, but IMO often times the parents need to learn how to talk to each other as well. Yes bring them into the mix, if they're willing. But let's say you've got the biological Mom and Dad, maybe a stepdad and stepmom, and maybe some siblings or half-siblings old enough to have an opinion. Factor in that maybe they don't all get along that well, and not all of them agree on a treatment, if they even agree the kid has a problem. Then factor in that the kid has a very different lifestyle and set of rules depending on whose house he or she is at. Makes it so much more complicated, IMO. As much as it makes me sick, sometimes I think kids who are just plain "abandoned" by the bad parent are fortunate or have a better chance.

 

[KaaBoom]

Yes and if I am understanding the charges correctly, he will eventually be eligible for a parole date. More pain subjected to this little girl's family.

They are talking about at least 40 years, maybe longer, before he will be eligible for parole. I think there is a good chance that most of her family members will never have to contend with his parole date, witch will be some time after 2052.

 

[nikb]

They are talking about at least 40 years, maybe longer, before he will be eligible for parole. I think there is a good chance that most of her family members will never have to contend with his parole date, witch will be some time after 2052.

KaaBoom, thanks for posting this, I've been looking for the possible sentence as well. Do you happen to know if this is REAL years, not fake prison years? I've definitely had that fear, that he gets sentenced to "40" years and 10 years from now or less, her family's having to try to keep him in jail and having to relive their nightmare.

 

[borndem]

in my job, I worked with the mother of a child who had witnessed horrible violence. Mother was homeless and they were kicked out of many shelters because of the child"s behavior.

He went to preschool and was going to be kicked out because of his violence.

On board comes the therapist. She enlists several college students to be with this child while he is in school. They grow to love him and even come in during vacations.

I saw prison in this child's future. But, with love and the proper responses to his bad behavior, he became a different child. It was life affirming.

The therapist is wonderful and I wish she could be cloned. People need to learn how to respond in appropriate ways to children exhibiting bad behavior. That does not mean putting them in a corner and shaming them.

bbm

Oh, what a wonderful & uplifting story, human!

Some children grow up never having truly been loved (this is not to say his mother didn't love him, but she may have also been thru those bad times, and she may have had a tuff time showing her good feelings toward him). Unloved and unfortunate children know what fear and cruelty and hunger for a soft touch is, but not love. So, because of those students, the child in his sad, scared or angry moments, could think, "Suzy loves me, Sam loves me, Chuck thinks I'm fun, and Sally misses me when she goes out of town," or something similar. Self-worth, self-esteem, and self-value become self-love and love of others. The need to be loved is, IMO, an instinctual human trait, and it is absolutely essential. What an amazing program -- now that child can value himself and other people, and that is clearly and totally necessary to being a whole person.

Thanks for sharing that with us, who, due to this case, need to hear something positive (speaking for those of us who do need it).

 

[KaaBoom]

KaaBoom, thanks for posting this, I've been looking for the possible sentence as well. Do you happen to know if this is REAL years, not fake prison years? I've definitely had that fear, that he gets sentenced to "40" years and 10 years from now or less, her family's having to try to keep him in jail and having to relive their nightmare.

Thats possible. If his case gets transferred back to Juvenile Court, he would be out in less then 10 years. But I don't think any judge is going to let that happen. Chances are he will spend the rest of his life in prison, or at least he will be a very old man before he gets out.

 

[missalicemay]

I agree that fear of one's child (like this) is a reality, as is denial. How could they not be. Raising a healthy, well - balanced child is hard enough without any additional challenges, forget about whatever's gone on with AS and everything we've speculated (ALOT!) on here.

Of course there are parents who just don't care or contribute to the problems, but for the rest.... what an awful constant struggle looking at your child becoming a monster, trying to get them help, navigate this scary world, fearful and sad for the loss of what your child has become -- and eventually having to turn them in like AS' mother did.

I'm trying to imagine taking the signs and red flags of my child and reporting them before hand, which I would do, and maybe AS' mom did as best she could. There's not much of a protocol for "what to do if your kid is a murderous sociopath". (Or is there.... someone here probably has a link handy!) Hoping instead that they were just dark and isolated and disturbed but who could imagine capable of a crime like this? Then you're left with the results of your child's most horrific actions and all you can do is call to turn him in.

How dreadful.

I think I need to backtrack myself. Before a parent can accept that their child is dangerous they must first know the signs that this child has the potential to become dangerous. Most of us, IMO, are not educated enough to interpret the signs early enough to head off problems BEFORE our child becomes dangerous. How do we see them beyond our love for them? Do we have a child psychologist available to tell us what to watch for in our 1 year old, 5 year old, 10 year old?