As far as I know, Patrick had a traumatic brain injury at some point. He was kicked in the head by a horse. This could have resulted in frontotemporal brain damage. This area of the brain controls impulses and personality. Thoughts below in random order:
1. It is very possible he had some grandiosity due to this injury. It’s common to have an impaired sense of self with this type of injury. As they meet online and it was a whirl-wind relationship, the way he presented himself to her in terms of success, financial stability, and reliability could have very well have been different in real life. The facade and reality might have become evident to her as time progressed. It might have been a bit delayed as they got pregnant and had a baby.
2. Sometimes religiosity is heightened with this type of head injury. Meaning, the idea they should be married or have sinned can create strange thoughts. If she slowed down the marital process if she started having doubts, this can create cognitive dissonance in him. Head injuries can fixate on ideas, like his ailing business can boost from him being a family man in the eyes of his peers. Her wanting a break could make him start persecuting her in his mind. Not seeing he too had a child out of wedlock, not accepting she might want a break.
3. Most highly intelligent women/men who get duped or derailed by men/women tend to go through a period of denial, embarrassment, and a sheer inability to process the situation. They second guess themselves and have issues with self trust. How could I not see this? He most likely was not as he seemed initially. She most likely was struggling trying to figure out how to extricate herself, tell family, or even trust herself. She most likely was going through the motions trying to sort through this. It could be extra difficult if family questioned her or cautioned against the whirlwind relationship. It could be extra difficult if she had expectations of herself due to religion. Example: being a cattle rancher vs seasonally raising a few head of cattle. Presents as a rancher to her initially, but in reality is more like 4H.
4. His old school style of handling animals actually could have been part of his head injury. Impulsive, easily frustrated, and semi aggressive. This is not abnormal and could leak into everyday life if not kept in check. It’s possible he perceived her dissatisfaction or intellectual discussions as a threat or confusing. If he had issues processing certain information, she could have easily overwhelmed him if she voiced frustrations. That’s not her fault as she didn’t signup for his scenario. I think she wanted it to work and to be happy, but he might have been hard to work with. This would explain why what family knew could have been different.
5. Online dating makes it super easy to fill in the blanks about daily life when you don’t see someone day in day out. She most likely had higher expectations and could not see some red flags. It happens to a lot of people. And once the honey moon period wore off, she was pregnant. That was the priority.
6. I genuinely think she was trying to break things off. There could have been a discussion on her part that she wouldn’t go with him to Thanksgiving. To him, because the poor head injury boundaries and possible dulusional thoughts, he couldn’t process. Obviously, they should be together as they had the baby and were engaged. What would people think? This is manadatory to be together. She was shattering how he structured the relationship in his mind. And he unleashed.
7. We keep mentioning why he waited 3 days, we’ll that is simple. He had obligations he couldn’t just leave. If he had appointments and expectations, he could not deviate. A head injury doesn’t mean he’s stupid, just different. I, too, would show up to my obligations like nothing was wrong. Then head off to sell a few head of cattle somewhere. Maybe saying I am selling them in Arizona, then head to Idaho.
Just some thoughts...
