Allabouttrial- I am very sorry you feel this way when voicing your opinions and questions. I don't believe it is the intent of anyone responding to your posts to personally attack or berate you (MOO). I am happy to have a mature discussion with you (or anyone else) about the NPD characteristics I believe are being exhibited by CW's mother in her interviews. I am not attempting to diagnose her- merely expressing my personal opinion.
RSBM:
Casual dating is not that threatening to the NP because they have established a tell-all philosophy in the home. But once the engagement is announced, the war begins. Suddenly this new spouse is an inadequate, unsuitable, and unacceptable addition who will destroy their Adult Child.
There are even threats of not attending or supporting the wedding. (They did not attend, by her own admission) The NP intends for this drama to cause conflict between the Adult Child and the new spouse in hopes that the engagement will end.
There will be a joint family effort to demonstrate to the new spouse that they could never “fit it” with the NP’s family. (By her own admission, they could never get along with. SW). NPs want assurances that they can remain in control of their ACs life. Any indication to the contrary is met with intense rage and verbal assaults. ("What happened to Christopher? SW happened). Remember this is the secret dream of the NP:
to prove that they were right all along.
The Frustration of Dealing with Narcissistic In-Laws | The Exhausted Woman
RSBM:
A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as
relationships, work, school or financial affairs.
People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. (Inability to speak to her son, blaming defense counsel for plea, accusing defense counsel of inadequacy/destroying evidence, letter to judge).
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:
- Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior.
- Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others. (Pistachios)
- Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment.
- Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted. (Blaming SW for CW's actions).
- React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves (or their Adult Child) appear superior. (We have seen this in every interview- to the point SW's family released a statement defending her honor).
- Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior. (Giving interviews to proclaim there is no way her son could have done this, statements to her son not to plead guilty but to fight, victim blaming, inability to accept the plea, negative accusations of defense counsel, letter to judge).
- Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change. (Inability to accept plea, statements that LWOP is the same as a death sentence, desperation to convince her son not to plead guilty "for something he did not do" without knowing the evidence, accusing defense counsel of "shutting her down" and not letting her speak to or visit her son).
Narcissistic personality disorder - Symptoms and causes