Let's take a moment to step into perspective.
Marriages come to an end.
People cheat, people grow apart, people behave...like people. And they divorce. It hurts, they heal.
They don't kill.
Suzanne's affair, all moral judgment aside, is smoke.
Barry wasn't going to let Suzanne go. Not before JL, not after. He wouldn't discuss it. He made her feel bad for being unforgiving. IMO he used religion to manipulate her. He used guilt, he used their children, he used threats, he used love bombing, he used money. And you know what else? In his limited defense, I think Barry himself didn't know that that's not how it's supposed to be. He controlled things for a long time. I think Barry thought control was love. Barry still thinks control is love.
When he could no longer control Suzanne (with money, trips, manipulations, fast talk, gaslighting, religion, pity), he labeled HER unloving.
So backwards. But to me, it reveals how he thinks and it shows how very trapped Suzanne was.
Barry is "better" than the rest of men because HE doesn't believe in divorce.
Sadly IMO he doesn't even know what marriage is.
Let this be a lesson for the rest of us.
Do not keep family secrets. Trust someone. If your relationship is fraught with manipulation, confide in someone. It'll help maintain sanity. (Manipulators are crazy-makers.) Document, document, document. It might be the only voice of yours left. And when you're ready to leave, have an escape plan.
If only Suzanne could've found a DV helpline who could've helped her get away before ever leaving Indiana...
But like so many women before (and after) her, she knew he was capable of making her life hard, I don't think she thought he'd make her life over.
Suzanne didn't die because she had an affair. Suzanne died because she married Barry.
It's that simple. And that tragic.
JMO
Man on Mother's Day. Imagine for a moment working on Mother's Day.. most guys I know spend that day with their wives and/or their mothers and celebrate them in some way. They don't have the same view that Barry did that it "wasn't husband day".. gross. Anyway, they are working on this day and not spending that time with the ladies in their lives.. instead they get called to find this missing mom. Her girls can't get ahold of her. Her husband is out of town and initially they can't reach him. Then, they turn down the road toward her home and find her bike. They are outside their patrol car yelling for her because surely a crashed bike means she is close by injured.. they had no way to know just how much evil was really involved. We forget sometimes that these officers carry this with them too. They want justice for Suzanne. It's a shame that things may have been handled slightly off. We know not to touch things or move things, but I can put myself in their shoes and knowing only what they were told that mom is missing, might be riding her bike, then they find her bike.. who would think in this town where a violent crime like this hadn't happened since I think I read the 80s... who thinks this is a husband murdering his wife and staging it ON Mother's Day. I know LE are supposed to be aware and this is a big no no, but when we put ourselves in their shoes, at least I can see how some things happened.
