Let's take a moment to step into perspective.
Marriages come to an end.
People cheat, people grow apart, people behave...like people. And they divorce. It hurts, they heal.
They don't kill.
Suzanne's affair, all moral judgment aside, is smoke.
Barry wasn't going to let Suzanne go. Not before JL, not after. He wouldn't discuss it. He made her feel bad for being unforgiving. IMO he used religion to manipulate her. He used guilt, he used their children, he used threats, he used love bombing, he used money. And you know what else? In his limited defense, I think Barry himself didn't know that that's not how it's supposed to be. He controlled things for a long time. I think Barry thought control was love. Barry still thinks control is love.
When he could no longer control Suzanne (with money, trips, manipulations, fast talk, gaslighting, religion, pity), he labeled HER unloving.
So backwards. But to me, it reveals how he thinks and it shows how very trapped Suzanne was.
Barry is "better" than the rest of men because HE doesn't believe in divorce.
Sadly IMO he doesn't even know what marriage is.
Let this be a lesson for the rest of us.
Do not keep family secrets. Trust someone. If your relationship is fraught with manipulation, confide in someone. It'll help maintain sanity. (Manipulators are crazy-makers.) Document, document, document. It might be the only voice of yours left. And when you're ready to leave, have an escape plan.
If only Suzanne could've found a DV helpline who could've helped her get away before ever leaving Indiana...
But like so many women before (and after) her, she knew he was capable of making her life hard, I don't think she thought he'd make her life over.
Suzanne didn't die because she had an affair. Suzanne died because she married Barry.
It's that simple. And that tragic.
JMO
for Suzanne
for Suzanne 