Coronavirus COVID-19 - Global Health Pandemic #107

[Turkeytrot]

Just tested positive this morning, I'd tested negative Thursday.

My 7 y/o had been home since Monday. He fell asleep early after school and was sniffly/upset when he woke up after a couple hours. He was all better by Tuesday evening, so we didn't get him tested - per pediatrician's recommendations.

I've had dull headaches off and on so decided to test

 

[BetteDavisEyes]

It really is awful-- I did not expect her to be so angry with me- she called me "mam"-- I guess she just does not realize that she will be exposing her father to Omicron-- he is going to be 80!!!! she has been living like there is no pandemic for months. That is her business but I just feel it is too risky for her dad and me to have her come here- go to restaurants and do all that stuff.

If they come, were they planning to stay with you and your husband or at a nearby hotel?

 

[CSIDreamer]

It really is awful-- I did not expect her to be so angry with me- she called me "mam"-- I guess she just does not realize that she will be exposing her father to Omicron-- he is going to be 80!!!! she has been living like there is no pandemic for months. That is her business but I just feel it is too risky for her dad and me to have her come here- go to restaurants and do all that stuff.

My mom is 95. I understand your concern. But her desire to see her family (and ours to see her) won out. If she isn't around a year from now, we have a 4 generation Christmas picture from this year.

I'm sure your "step"children are hurting too. Tough situation.

 

[Sundog]

Just tested positive this morning, I'd tested negative Thursday.

My 7 y/o had been home since Monday. He fell asleep early after school and was sniffly/upset when he woke up after a couple hours. He was all better by Tuesday evening, so we didn't get him tested - per pediatrician's recommendations.

I've had dull headaches off and on so decided to test

I hope your symptoms are mild and that you recover quickly.

 

[Arkay]

It really is awful-- I did not expect her to be so angry with me- she called me "mam"-- I guess she just does not realize that she will be exposing her father to Omicron-- he is going to be 80!!!! she has been living like there is no pandemic for months. That is her business but I just feel it is too risky for her dad and me to have her come here- go to restaurants and do all that stuff.

Good for you for trying to protect your husband.

I think a lot depends on the prior relationship you two have had. She most likely feels that you are coming between her and her father. I do NOT want to know your private business, but if she's always resented you, or feels like you took her mother's place, then this is kind of a turf war. If on the other hand you have had a loving relationship, then IMO she's being blind to the risk she poses to her dad.

I certainly don't even like to step out of my door, but have had to go to Florida three times since June to take care of my parents. At least in Florida you can eat and hang around outside. Also, on our three trips to Florida, once we stayed with our parents, once in a hotel, and once in an AirB&B.

IMO, to give your husband peace in this war, let her come but not enter your home. Let them stay in a hotel or elsewhere. And only eat outdoors with them. At a big table where you're not chewing alongside one another. Carry your hand sanitizer and open your windows when you get home.

Not knowing your family dynamic, it would be my advice to have your husband break the news that for his safety, they cannot enter your home. From her point of view, she just may really want to see her father after two years of this suffering. Better to do it in Florida where you can all be outdoors than when you come back North.

 

[x_files]

I think that truckers are very unlikely to spread coronavirus.

When governments put mandates on freight delivery, it can really hurt their own citizens. Think of all the things moved by freight. Fuel, food, etc.

JMO

I disagree they travel crossing state lines, loading and unloading food, if they get ill they can spread to hundreds easily throughout just one day. If they only stayed in the truck it would be different but they need to use restrooms and eat and unload.
Not sure why they are resistant to the vaccine.

 

[x_files]

It really is awful-- I did not expect her to be so angry with me- she called me "mam"-- I guess she just does not realize that she will be exposing her father to Omicron-- he is going to be 80!!!! she has been living like there is no pandemic for months. That is her business but I just feel it is too risky for her dad and me to have her come here- go to restaurants and do all that stuff.

Set your boundaries, she's being inconsiderate and selfish.

 

[Teche]

We have not received our tests, yet, and I didn't get an email notification. I ordered the first day, so I'm not sure what the hold-up is. I hope them come soon.

I’m in the same boat.

 

[ilovewings]

Set your boundaries, she's being inconsiderate and selfish.

I think she is -- she thinks I am standing between her and her dad: it is kind of unbelievable. She doesn't seem to understand that she is putting her father at risk. She says" I want to see him when he is healthy and if he needs me I am coming to see him and you can't stop me". It was so weird I was shocked. I really didn't get to say much - she hung up on me crying and saying this is the line in the sand. So now she hates me.

 

[jjenny]

Oh boy- I am in a full blown crisis with my stepdaughter and step son. She lives in Manassas Virginia and he lives in Michigan. They want to come here for their dad's birthday on 2/23/22. I basically said they cannot do this and expose us to the virus- we are old. She works in a school setting around kids all day long and she has two teenagers. She went off on me on the phone- I could not believe it. Am I wrong? I don't think so. I told my husband if he wants to see them he can go to a hotel for 10 days and quarantine.

No, you are not wrong. Covid can kill elderly, even vaxxed and boosted.

 

[ilovewings]

Good for you for trying to protect your husband.

I think a lot depends on the prior relationship you two have had. She most likely feels that you are coming between her and her father. I do NOT want to know your private business, but if she's always resented you, or feels like you took her mother's place, then this is kind of a turf war. If on the other hand you have had a loving relationship, then IMO she's being blind to the risk she poses to her dad.

I certainly don't even like to step out of my door, but have had to go to Florida three times since June to take care of my parents. At least in Florida you can eat and hang around outside. Also, on our three trips to Florida, once we stayed with our parents, once in a hotel, and once in an AirB&B.

IMO, to give your husband peace in this war, let her come but not enter your home. Let them stay in a hotel or elsewhere. And only eat outdoors with them. At a big table where you're not chewing alongside one another. Carry your hand sanitizer and open your windows when you get home.

Not knowing your family dynamic, it would be my advice to have your husband break the news that for his safety, they cannot enter your home. From her point of view, she just may really want to see her father after two years of this suffering. Better to do it in Florida where you can all be outdoors then when you come back North.

When I met her dad she was 14- of course she resented me at first but then she calmed down and all of these years we have gotten along pretty well (but her brother hates me and always will). Even if they don't enter our home , I think it is a really big risk for her to be around my husband. She is in administration in a school setting in Virginia and she has teenage boys as well. I feel that with Omicron she presents a high risk to my husband and of course in turn to me. I know she is suffering- she really wants to see her dad who is turning 80. I am terrified of getting Covid. Of course there will be hugging and all of that: going out to dinners and so forth. It just seems to risky to me to consider doing this at this time.

 

[Turkeytrot]

I hope your symptoms are mild and that you recover quickly.

Thank you

 

[CSIDreamer]

I disagree they travel crossing state lines, loading and unloading food, if they get ill they can spread to hundreds easily throughout just one day. If they only stayed in the truck it would be different but they need to use restrooms and eat and unload.
Not sure why they are resistant to the vaccine.

They aren't resistant to the vaccine. They are resistant to mandates. Totally different thing. I'm fully vaxxed. I'm 100% against mandates.

 

[ilovewings]

No, you are not wrong. Covid can kill elderly, even vaxxed and boosted.

That is exactly how I feel: she is not being reasonable: she acts like I am the wicked witch trying to keep her from her father--- instead of seeing it like it is: she will be exposing the father she loves to Covid! She is in a job where she deals with kids all day long- she has been going about her normal life for a year- dining out and all of that. Since she is 46 years old she is not a high risk for dying from Covid - if she wishes to take that risk for herself that is her business-- my husband, bless his heart, makes me the bad guy here since he is sort of oblivious to the risk she presents. It is all of the things that go with it: she will fly here, stay in a hotel and she will expect him to do things with her like dining out and all of that. All of that just terrifies me. We have come too far down the road to pack it in now.

 

[ilovewings]

If they come, were they planning to stay with you and your husband or at a nearby hotel?

They would stay at a hotel Even with them staying at a hotel, I feel her lifestyle is one that makes her a pretty high risk for exposure to Covid.

 

[LaborDayRN]

Just tested positive this morning, I'd tested negative Thursday.

My 7 y/o had been home since Monday. He fell asleep early after school and was sniffly/upset when he woke up after a couple hours. He was all better by Tuesday evening, so we didn't get him tested - per pediatrician's recommendations.

I've had dull headaches off and on so decided to test

I'm so sorry @Turkeytrot
I hope you have minimal symptoms and recover quickly.

 

[LaborDayRN]

It really is awful-- I did not expect her to be so angry with me- she called me "mam"-- I guess she just does not realize that she will be exposing her father to Omicron-- he is going to be 80!!!! she has been living like there is no pandemic for months. That is her business but I just feel it is too risky for her dad and me to have her come here- go to restaurants and do all that stuff.

Would you feel better about the visit if they get tested prior to arriving or immediately upon arrival? Maybe you could all meet up in an outdoor setting? This pandemic is the pits!

 

[ilovewings]

She has been living like there is no pandemic for months sums it up.
So she has not been taking precautionary measures to avoid Covid and angrily reacts when you try to explain it to her. Sounds like a delightful person.
Didn’t they pitch a fit about celebrating the holidays before you left for Florida?
Ugh I hate drama

they went to a resort. Area for the holidays so it was not an issue
I think with her dad now turning 80, she feels it is important for her
To see him now. she just does not understand the risk she presents
To him.

 

[justbeachy]

I think she is -- she thinks I am standing between her and her dad: it is kind of unbelievable. She doesn't seem to understand that she is putting her father at risk. She says" I want to see him when he is healthy and if he needs me I am coming to see him and you can't stop me". It was so weird I was shocked. I really didn't get to say much - she hung up on me crying and saying this is the line in the sand. So now she hates me.

My personal, unsolicited opinion is that this is a conversation that she should be having directly with her father. If he wants to see them, then it becomes something that should be resolved between the two of you. I understand that you want to keep him safe and healthy, but in the end he is a grown adult and is responsible for his own choices and decisions. You being the middleman is only going to cause conflict between you and his children, which will never end well, especially when you are (from their perspective) the "roadblock" between them seeing their father.

IMO MOO

 

[Teche]

That is exactly how I feel: she is not being reasonable: she acts like I am the wicked witch trying to keep her from her father--- instead of seeing it like it is: she will be exposing the father she loves to Covid! She is in a job where she deals with kids all day long- she has been going about her normal life for a year- dining out and all of that. Since she is 46 years old she is not a high risk for dying from Covid - if she wishes to take that risk for herself that is her business-- my husband, bless his heart, makes me the bad guy here since he is sort of oblivious to the risk she presents. It is all of the things that go with it: she will fly here, stay in a hotel and she will expect him to do things with her like dining out and all of that. All of that just terrifies me. We have come too far down the road to pack it in now.

There’s probably no stopping your husband from seeing his kids even during the pandemic. Can you lesson the risk by making reservations at a safer location like a cabin, provide meals or delivery service, provide masks, sanitizer, and Covid tests. This would allow them to spend much needed time catching up and you could FaceTime. Your husband could remain there to quarantine after the visit. Everyone is in a difficult spot. if my elderly parents were still alive, I would have to visit, cherish their remaining time, and mitigate the risk.