Crystal S., Haleigh's mother #2

[tehcloser]

I felt both of them were extremely emotional during the last presser and for whatever reason Crystal mentioned "Daddy"...it sounded sincere at the time. (Shocking in light of what has transpired now tho. I don't understand how or why she flip flops like she does.)

I have a theory about that....the flip flopping...could she still love him?:waitasec:

 

[CHICANA]

The best thing Crystal and Ronald can do for their children is for one or the other to move close enough together to both have stable relationships with them on equal terms. Joint custody and sharing in the care is the best solution. Let everyone come together to raise the children with love and kindness instead of bitterness and jealousy. Forget set visits. Forget who did what in the past. Forget everything except what is important to the children in the moment and for their futures...and do it together instead of isolating anyone who loves them dearly.

When you have a custody battle...yes...one parent wins, but the children lose automatically. The rift caused because of the battle alone is never going away. People need to get over their personal feelings towards the other parent and realize that the children are worth pretending you are friends or however they have to get through it...but there is no room for jealousy, arguing, petty carp, or winner/loser mentality. It isn't a football game or a wrestling match to see who is the better parent as every divorce/custody attorney would like to perpetuate. It is about allowing your children to grow up knowing they not only survived, but thrived through your divorce.

That is definitely what's best for all kids who's parents are divorced but it doesn't always work out. If they got along they'd still be together. Sometimes one party or the other causes too much drama or there's abuse and it's not feasible to live too close.
Then there's the financial aspect also. They're both young and with two small children, it's more practical to live close to their mothers.
You've described the ideal situation/solution but I imagine you're also a lot more mature than Ron & Crytal.

 

[elle1919]

I have a theory about that....the flip flopping...could she still love him?:waitasec:

I have asked myself that question from the beginning. I saw a pic of her with her hand on his back in the very beginning of all this and she looked like she was trying to console him, it was very touching.

 

[Anais]

I can not help but feel if the tables were turned and it was Ronald who had not been paying child support for over a year people would be livid and not making excuses about its hard to find a job, having another baby etc.

You know what you're saying is right on! The trouble is that because Haleigh disappeared while he's got custody they're looking for everything and anything to kick him around regardless.

 

[tehcloser]

I have asked myself that question from the beginning. I saw a pic of her with her hand on his back in the very beginning of all this and she looked like she was trying to console him, it was very touching.

I've picked up on a few things that have made me wonder. Now I know her MOM is a different story...and I think that is where alot of the ugly comes from. But I really do wonder.

 

[CHICANA]

I can not help but feel if the tables were turned and it was Ronald who had not been paying child support for over a year people would be livid and not making excuses about its hard to find a job, having another baby etc.

I disagree. My ex owes me over $27,000 and that doesn't make him a bad father. Not playing an active part in his daughter's life is what made him a bad father.
I also don't think it's fair that one parent has virtually no say in what happens in their children's lives and hardly get to see them and have to pay (in some cases) so much child support that they can barely afford a roof over their heads.
I'm not talking about those who don't want to raise their children or ignore them after the divorce (I'm ok with taking them to the cleaners), but the ones who want to play an active role and aren't allowed because of their ex or the court.
I really don't see how back child support has anything to do with Haleigh being missing or compares to the totally inappropriate choice to marry a teenager a month after your daughter disappears.

 

[CHICANA]

"People put you down enough in your life you start to believe it." I don't think Crystal felt she had any other choice but to emotionally distance herself from her first two children. I can imagine it was never pleasant to be the one that Ron discarded. Listening to how quickly his mother insists that the new version of "mommy" is the mommy of choice, I can bet that it was always in play. I think she's starting to feel a sense of hope that she doesn't just have to put up with what someone else tells her she's gonna put up with. I hope this is something she'll build on for her whole life and will be something she'll convey to all her children.

I loved this post. It's cruel the way they throw Misty being their mommy in CS's face.

 

[stilettos]

I have noticed she doesn't mention Chad at all nor does he appear to be in the media asking for Haleigh's return either. Now, is it because she is too busy attacking Ronald that she hasn't mentioned Chad or his relationship with Haleigh? I would actually like to hear from him and see him out there in force with the rest of the family.

I would love to hear from someone who has witnessed first hand the relationship between Chad and the children (Haleigh and Rj) who is not family or friends on their side especially after having a baby with Crystal. Does he treat them as the "step-children" or is he equally as attentive/loving?

The statement I have bolded is not true as they are trying to take away his child and ruin his life in the process. Chad was instrumental in helping this along with what he claimed to Geraldo.

Btw~ Foster care is never safer or the better alternative unless there are dire circumstances which in this case I feel Rj is much safer with TN and Ronald being close to LE/FBI, imo.

I feel sorry for step-children who the adults feel cannot love one person as much as another or cannot grasp the reality that children calling them both "mom" is nothing short of an attack. What a sad statement!! An adult parent should not feel "threatened" if their child loves a person enough to bestow an endearing title to the one taking care of them 24/7.

I not only accepted it...I encouraged my children to feel they could love and accept their "other mom" without harming my ego. They grew up thankful I never put such stipulations on them and never questioned their love for me. They love her as much today as they did when she became their "other mom" and so do I. She helped me raise well adjusted children and I deeply respect the love she showed them all these years. Jealousy and petty carp over who calls whom what simply wasn't as important to me as healthy children...mentally and physically. Some people need to GROW UP.

I happen to be an adult who was in Foster Care as a child. It saved my life. NO ONE but the child in question and experts trained to evaluate abusive home lives can make a determination as to whether a child is safer in the parents custody or in Foster Care. What you or I see from the outside may not be the reality that the child is living. We should leave this and other determinations of emergency placement to the experts. If you see abuse happening call your local Child Welfare Agency, they are the one's legally tasked with protecting the child.

 

[txsvicki]

The more I think about it, the odder it is that Haleigh would go missing the night before the child support contempt hearing. It's almost as if Crystal were being set up. She owed all that money anyway, so it would have been smarter of her to wait and see what the judge said, wait awhile then abduct Haleigh to take the suspicion off herself. I don't believe Crystal did anything though. Actually, Crystal could go back to work later, use her baby to claim the earned income credit and that money could be sent to Ron instead. It wouldn't take her very long to pay the back child support that way.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

I did say under dire circumstances. Your case must have been fitting the criteria.

I have NO faith in our Foster Care/Department Of Children And Family Services as it stands now. I wouldn't trust them to watch my dog!!!

To take Rj away from his father and grandmother will serve no purpose other than to further the mother's custody case. To me, this would be no more than a legal abduction of this poor little boy and the detrimental effects on him will outweigh anything the mother stands to gain. I will truly be horrified if they rip him out of the arms of his loving family especially right now and place him in foster care without JUST cause to do so instead of these trumped up carp charges we have already heard the family come up with on Geraldo!!! They better be CERTAIN he is in a dire circumstance before removing him.

 

[CHICANA]

I did say under dire circumstances. Your case must have been fitting the criteria.

I have NO faith in our Foster Care/Department Of Children And Family Services as it stands now. I wouldn't trust them to watch my dog!!!

To take Rj away from his father and grandmother will serve no purpose other than to further the mother's custody case. To me, this would be no more than a legal abduction of this poor little boy and the detrimental effects on him will outweigh anything the mother stands to gain. I will truly be horrified if they rip him out of the arms of his loving family especially right now and place him in foster care without JUST cause to do so instead of these trumped up carp charges we have already heard the family come up with on Geraldo!!! They better be CERTAIN he is in a dire circumstance before removing him.

I don't trust anything about the child welfare system and that includes the family court.
RJ should definitely be with family although I know we're in disagreement on which family.

 

[CHICANA]

The more I think about it, the odder it is that Haleigh would go missing the night before the child support contempt hearing. It's almost as if Crystal were being set up. She owed all that money anyway, so it would have been smarter of her to wait and see what the judge said, wait awhile then abduct Haleigh to take the suspicion off herself. I don't believe Crystal did anything though. Actually, Crystal could go back to work later, use her baby to claim the earned income credit and that money could be sent to Ron instead. It wouldn't take her very long to pay the back child support that way.

That's what I thought when I heard the $4000 figure. Back when I qualified for that I usually received between $2000 and $4000.
IMO, the child support plays no part in the disappearance.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

I disagree. The custody issue, the child support, and the vile manner in which Crystal and her family have conducted themselves surrounding this case all point to a very strong motive to abduct Haleigh, imo.

 

[Busylady]

Difference in stories, originally Crystal stated she got the call at 3:49 and thought it was a prank so she called her father and he checked and called her back at 5:00 am. This is what she told Nancy Grace

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0902/12/ng.01.html
RACE: How did you learn she was gone?

SHEFFIELD: Ronald`s mother, Teresa Nieves (ph), called me at 3:49 AM in the morning and told me that Haleigh was gone.

GRACE: And what did you do?

SHEFFIELD: At first, I thought it was a prank, kind of. And then she was, like, The police are there, and I heard them in the background and then it hit me that it was not a prank.

GRACE: OK. Now, what time did you say they called you?

SHEFFIELD: It was 3:49 AM.

GRACE: And who called you?

 

[KSH352]

TV 47 wtev Jacksonville just said they are going to have the PI for CS on the show at 11 pm tonight and he will talk about what he has learned

 

[alwaysonmymind]

http://www.artharris.com/2009/03/11/haleigh-mom-wants-custody/

snip

Family members scribbled messages in black magic marker on yellow helium filled balloons they soon released.

“Haleigh-bug, Nana misses you very much. Please release my Doodle,” wrote Crystal’s mother.

“Misty and Daddy got married, just like you wanted,” wrote Haleigh’s father. “We love you.”

snip

Interesting.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

Originally Posted by pirate
And perhaps Crystal's decision to speak out on GR was for the same reasons. She is clearly not as hotheaded as Ron. Her anger likely built up and rather than spouting four letter words at the people she loves, she decided to react in a different way.

Go figure?

GMAB!!! Her idea of "reacting" to the phone call to tell her that Haleigh was missing was to dismiss it as a "prank", call her Daddy to go make sure, and then wait hours to show up!!!! YUP! She sure DOES react in a different way!!!

 

[harleysnana]

I disagree. My ex owes me over $27,000 and that doesn't make him a bad father. Not playing an active part in his daughter's life is what made him a bad father.
I also don't think it's fair that one parent has virtually no say in what happens in their children's lives and hardly get to see them and have to pay (in some cases) so much child support that they can barely afford a roof over their heads.
I'm not talking about those who don't want to raise their children or ignore them after the divorce (I'm ok with taking them to the cleaners), but the ones who want to play an active role and aren't allowed because of their ex or the court.
I really don't see how back child support has anything to do with Haleigh being missing or compares to the totally inappropriate choice to marry a teenager a month after your daughter disappears.

I don't really think that it has anything to do with Haleigh going missing.... but I DO think it has EVERYTHING to do with who the better parent may be.

I'm sorry but Crystal has not paid for her part in caring for these kids in
about a year and IMO that makes her an unfit custodial parent!

Why could she not afford them before but she feels she can now?

I'm on the other side of this...
my daughter is raising her two little girls working full time and dealing with a dead beat dad!

IMO A parent NOT paying child support only hurts the kids and it's sad
that any parent would do that to their child!

... isn't not paying child support also considered not playing an active part in
their lives?

 

[pirate]

I don't really think that it has anything to do with Haleigh going missing.... but I DO think it has EVERYTHING to do with who the better parent may be.

I'm sorry but Crystal has not paid for her part in caring for these kids in
about a year and IMO that makes her an unfit custodial parent!

Why could she not afford them before but she feels she can now?

I'm on the other side of this...
my daughter is raising her two little girls working full time and dealing with a dead beat dad!

IMO A parent NOT paying child support only hurts the kids and it's sad
that any parent would do that to their child!

... isn't not paying child support also considered not playing an active part in
their lives?

Is good parenting about money or is it about providing a safe and secure home for your children? Keeping them sheltered from sexual abusers, making sure nothing bad happens to them............

IMO safety is much more important than money.

 

[KSH352]

Here is the link to the story from the PI working for CS.
His name is "Cobra" and he is from Ft. Lauderdale, Fl.

He is working for free and says there will be a break in the case really soon.

http://www.fox30online.com/content/...rches-for-Haleigh/rwX4oL0NrE6kKhoe2vdr-g.cspx