yes. But the Relishas, the Shaniyas, the Jhesses, the HaLeighs of the world. They are invariably the ones that live on the the most real way to me. The difficulty I have in accepting that thousands of children are just like them all over this nation every single day. These cases, like Relisha's, they are the ones that break my heart in ways that it takes a break or some time or some sort of shift in me, to contiue to live with. Because each of these babies live in me to this day and will til the day I leave this earth.
The ones that bring me to gut wrenching grief. The ones that I buy Christmas tree ornaments for, that I plant living plants and flowers and rosebushes for.
My heart hurts so much right now. sitting here having a good hard cry. Relisha baby, where are you? Are you alive? Are you afraid and hurt right now?
Thank Goodness no work tomorrow. It will be another long night with little or no sleep.
:hug:
I woke up from a nightmare of Relisha myself - my own daughters were in the dream. It was terrifying.
I couldn't sleep after that. I kept checking on them, fast asleep in their beds. My eldest has braids, and honestly looks like Relisha in certain photos. My daughter noticed it herself, and this case scares her. We plant flowers, light luminarias, and do balloon releases. WS is a part of our lives, and they've learned valuable lessons already, especially about staying safe.
How do you explain the world to children? I don't have those answers, especially when they see me online - finding balance isn't easy. I have been in over my head with case after case as a lurker and more so once I joined here. They understand, especially since a close family friend went missing a little over 2 years ago.
Every case becomes a part of you, and for the ones who don't make it home, they take a piece of you as they gain their wings and fly high.
I just try to remind myself that someway, somehow, one day, they all will know how much we care - especially the ones who weren't loved as they should have been.
Sending you a big hug - and hoping tonight we both manage to get some sleep. I am proud to sleuth with you and everyone else here!
:grouphug:
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