I never ever thought I would feel this way, but I agree with you. This has gone too far and shows no signs of slowing down. I feel horrible for Mary and TS's family and just as terrible for the girls but I'm leaning towards the neutral third party as well. And where in the freaking hell is this court ordered therapy for the girls? It seems like they are still falling further under their father's control. I know most feel that they maintain this interaction with their father but I feel like the poisoning will continue unless his contact with them is revoked.I dont see BS ever getting the kids. I dont see Mary being able to keep them if this **** keeps up with MS and his turning the girls against her. A neutral, very supervised home may be the best option for the girls. One that MS cant dictate. jmo.
IMO I don't think TS would want her kids with a third party. MS needs to be SHUT DOWN, one call/visit per week supervised by DCF/GAL, with possibility of more if DCF/GAL sees improvement in MS' behavior. He's such a whacko!I never ever thought I would feel this way, but I agree with you. This has gone too far and shows no signs of slowing down. I feel horrible for Mary and TS's family and just as terrible for the girls but I'm leaning towards the neutral third party as well. And where in the freaking hell is this court ordered therapy for the girls? It seems like they are still falling further under their father's control. I know most feel that they maintain this interaction with their father but I feel like the poisoning will continue unless his contact with them is revoked.
IMO I don't think TS would want her kids with a third party. MS needs to be SHUT DOWN, one call/visit per week supervised by DCF/GAL, with possibility of more if DCF/GAL sees improvement in MS' behavior. He's such a whacko!
One would hope that a change would give them a perspective. I do think that because they are together they can keep the dysfunction going. Maternal grandmother can't discipline or take control of the family for fear that she will lose them--so she is in an awful bind. In hearing some of this stuff from today, I do wonder if it is not too late.
IMO I don't think TS would want her kids with a third party. MS needs to be SHUT DOWN, one call/visit per week supervised by DCF/GAL, with possibility of more if DCF/GAL sees improvement in MS' behavior. He's such a whacko!
Question: So if Mark's crew is so pissy because a case manager let it slip why MS is in jail for TS's murder do we really think they will be allowed to be aware of what goes on at his trial?
How long do you guys think this charade will continue? It was my impression that the therapy was to help the girls deal with their mother's murder as well as their father's incarceration for it? How will the healing start if the truths are always hidden and never told? Ugghhh, so frustrating. I'm not sure a proper fool proof answer even exists.
For MS's goal, there are no boundaries... never existed. He will sacrifice his kids daily living arrangements to keep them from MAG if he can. These are the games he plays--this is his life, always has been.
What really sunk in today for me was after now seeing these custody hearings endlessly drag on, it's not just the hearings now. It's the number of years these kids have been under their fahter's influence, day in & day out. Particularly the last 2-3 years. What they may or may not have inappropriately been exposed to.
Is there a small battle here between DCF, GAL, and the Judge? Plus add Mark and there are too many hands in the pot!
It truly amazes me at times on what the judge will allow and how he can't see thru what Mark is doing? While he is trying to be fair, has he ever asked how many times a day Mark calls or asked to see copies of telephone bills so he can see with his own eyes the number of calls? Anyone knows the number of times he calls is a nuisance! Plus, it doesn't give the girls a chance to have time on their own or with friends, or develop a relationship with Mimi. It is Mark's way of having them under his thumb for control.
IMO the judge turns a deaf ear to listening to this complaint. In a divorce case or family, this would not be allowed. What is the difference here?
This really upsets me! Two daughters, one is stronger, one is the leader and the other follows. We have heard that one has a medical problem - I pray that special attention is not piled on her. If so, she will just have additional problems as she grows up.
These girls need a strong person in their life to tell them a few facts right now! BS on everyone tip toeing around the issues one year after their mother's death! They are maturing, smart, learning or already know how to connive and get their way. Add to this 9 months of brain washing, isolation, and training by their father who master minded the murder of their mother. I imagine at this time the girls are not listening to Mimi, following directions or instructions, and doing what they want. No respect, love, or kindness shown as she isn't their mother plus Mark reminds them many times daily she is not their "boss". IMO it is time to set down a few rules so they can begin to adjust to their new normal. This is said with love and with all my heart. These girls must stop thinking, as their father does, that they can rule the world, the world is their's for the taking, and he is the only one to trust.
Mimi was handed damaged little souls to raise as their father is still undercutting every word or step she tries. Why is the GAL not more outspoken on their behalf? There are three sides pulling for help for these girls, DCF, GAL, and Mimi. Two sides opposing them, the inmate father who has lost his parental rights and his mother, who personally has stated she doesn't/can't raise them.
There it is in black and white! What is the judge not seeing? It is time to put restrictions on Mark with the girls, and make him win his time back! Do other prisoners get this much telephone time?
My opinions only.
BBMI don't think alot of us here realize what it entails taking on 2 children that have been "damaged". This is the first reason we see so many older chidren languish in foster care.
Please don't take it the wrong way when I use the word damaged, what I mean is children with more baggage than they know how to handle.
I do not believe these chidren will ever be rehabilitated, NOT, after spending the amount of time they spent with their father. They will never see any wrong in what and who he is. He had too much time with them , even before they lost their mother.
Even if they go into foster care, the very best foster care, there will be problems and huge problems. They trust NO ONE!! Only their father.
They have to know some of how their Mom was murdered and at this time all they see is their father fighting for them ,and getting away with his shananigans. so, in some sense it diminishes the gruesome details of the murder.
That is why , from the beginning I was very adament about telling these girls EVERY detail on what happened and who was (is) involved no matter what pain it may cause them'
Now they are in a position worse than pain, they are in a state of complete confusion and hate for their Mothers side of the family. There is NO undoing this now.
The damage has been done. These are children, no amount of counseling and therapy will change their minds or hearts. They know what they know, and that is that Daddy "is doing everything to make things right for them, plus he has told them he will fight for them till the end."
They know nothing else and most likely blame TS side for the predicament they are in right now.
If I were in a position to make a call on the girls placement, as awful as it sounds, I would put them in a very structured type of girls home, with hours of therapy and counseling per day (separately) with minimal visits from family..
NOT as punishment at all, but, a sort of deprogramming until trial is over. This is the only way I see them having a chance at a "normal" life as they will become adults .
Also including love and discipline in a very structured way. Going to school on the same grounds as the program.
I am very fearful for what TSs family will endure in the next few years as this trial will be a long time coming.
This is all my opinion, but, having experience in foster and adoption, and the children I had, being very young, as in babies and infants, and still having extreme problems,believe me this will not be a walk in the park with children of that age and the trauma they've been through.
I can agree with the judge. If one of the kids wants to write in a language she is learning so be it. Imagine what turmoil these girls are in. If all at once, she is told she can't write in German b/c her GAL wanted it or grandma wanted it, I believe it will alienate her further from grandma and give the impression that the GAL is not on her side. I agree this man is a monster who is messing with their heads. But, I think the judge is right to temper things and not cut him off at this point. These girls are old enough to have access to the news and will soon see their father as a monster in the press. As I see it, the only hope that grandma will become safe is if grandma is kept out of the smaller things and the judge makes decisions that err on grandma's side but hold that MS can have a relationship with his kids in ways that they may have done before. I would bet the girls talked to him in German or wrote notes in German previously.
Imo. The court isn't mandating for Grandma to stay home nor to pick up the phone all day long.
So she should take the kids on a summer trip to Connecticut. Jmo.
That isn't against the law . Jmo
She has custody. So if she wants to take them on a summer vacation with the kids; Then the court can't stop her.