i apologize for not having read everyone's responses. i saw a sea of "no's" and had to chime in with my own differing opinion. so i am sorry if there are any "yeses" out there whose ideas i repeated. but here are my :twocents:...
Just curious if anyone feels bad for KC because how Cindy treated her growing up? The reason I am asking this is because I have been sitting here wondering if Cindy was abusive physically towards KC because of that whole choking her bit for stealing the checks.
ETA: I am talking about separate from Caylee's death bc there is NO EXCUSE what so ever for KC killing Caylee and I agree her up bringing had nothing to do with that. I agree with all those that answered the question that how you are treated growing up doesn't make you a murderer.
yes, i do, very much so in fact.
if we were asking about whether this excuses her in any way, i would say a resounding HECK NO, GIVE THAT [you know whatski] THE CHAIR. but, knowing that she was a child once, and that she grew up in that house, and that she NEVER got the help she needed to become a functional, competent human being? that her mom is CA? that she told AD that she needed to be committed/get help and then was magically better after talking to her mom (who IMO talked her out of it, said she'd take care of her, etc etc)? that makes me sad.
(note: i may be projecting on whether or not CA talked her out of it. my own personal experience was that i was incredibly suicidal and was talked out of getting help by my parents several times, mostly because they didn't want anyone to know just how bad things really were in our house. i thank my lucky stars i somehow managed to get out of that toxic relationship and get some help. some days i think it is a miracle i am even alive! but i have had that conversation before, with worried friends who i'd confide in who would support my desire to get help... only to tell them i talked to my parents, things are better now, it'll all be fine, no worries! and how fleeting that always was...)
i feel bad for any child who grows up in a dysfunctional household. i know what a struggle it is, to confront the demons of your past, to be haunted by childhood memories you'd previously always denied. someone has a quote in their sig saying that child abuse casts a shadow that lasts a lifetime, and it is so true. no child deserves that. children deserve happiness and love and laughter and an understanding of how the world works and how to be happy.
i feel bad for the ICA of yesteryear, who DID NOT grow up properly. i feel bad now, wondering what could have been if someone, anyone, had really truly taken her narcissistic/sociopathic tendencies seriously at an earlier age, gotten her into some effective treatment for the treatment-resistant (such as narcissists), wondering what she would have been like if she had been held accountable for ANY of the cr@p she tried to pull.
i feel bad for anyone who could not possibly understand LOVE, what it is like to spend the days with your beloved toddler and watch them grow and feel SO MUCH love for them your heart could burst. i feel bad for anyone who has no empathy, because if you are missing out on the experience of love - for your parents, your kids, your partner, your pets, your friends, ANYONE - what kind of life do you really have going for you? i am so blessed to have so much love and support in my life from family and friends. my children light up my whole spirit. i can't imagine what it is like to just... not experience that. i feel bad/sad for those with untreated rampant mental health issues and for those who were not protected as children.
i feel bad for ICA, that she is such a horrible shell of a human being, that she grew up the way she did.
in general i feel bad for anyone who is very, very angry and full of rage, because i can't help but wonder: what happened to you to make you this way? how difficult is it for you to actually BE this way day after day, year after year? what kind of stresses are your body and mind going through, dealing with this?
i think if mental health issues did not carry such a great stigma and that we really treated them better from childhood on, and if we were better at protecting children from abuse/neglect, MANY of the problems the world suffers would be lessened.
that said, i think it is the responsibility of anyone in that situation, once they are able to escape, to address it rather than bury it. i never wanted to go into therapy and address the abuse, and even now that i've been at it for years i do not enjoy it in the slightest. more than anything i'd love to amputate that part of me and continue on with my life. but i know it isn't possible, and i know that the BEST thing for my kids is to have a healthy mom who is comfortable talking about her depression and actively treating it. if they should ever suffer from the mental health issues that run on both sides of my family, i want them to know that it is a problem that can be worked on and taken care of, not something scary that everyone's going to pretend isn't happening because no one wants to deal with it. i grew up that way and would never want that for them. i love them and want their lives to be miles better than mine.
i think it's unfair to compare, but all the same, i'm gonna hazard a guess that my childhood was worse than hers (i certainly was nobody's princess and i certainly could not get away with ANYTHING), and i love my children to the ends of the earth and would probably claw someone's eyes out if they even JOKED about treating them for THIRTY SECONDS the way caylee was treated in her too-short life. so does this excuse casey in any way? NO. not in the slightest. many of us on here have had horrible childhoods and are still good parents. to act as if being abused somehow exonerates her is insulting to me. i didn't continue the cycle. no one should continue the cycle. so i feel bad for abused children, but i don't think this makes it okay for them to turn into abusive parents - even if i feel bad for what they went through as kids.
so yes. i do feel bad for her, for the fact that she is such a screwed-up person that she could not appreciate the intensity of love a child can bring you, for the fact that she was able to do this and not even care. what an empty, soulless way to be.
