Emotional Toll

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:grouphug: all around! Now I am gonna go make some soup. My soup looks and smells an awful lot like a chicken caesar salad, but YKWIM!

Mine looks and smells an awful lot like a big bar of Godiva chocolate. :wink:
 
After posting my "glass is half-full" response to Mountain-Kat this morning before heading out to face my day, I was holding it together pretty well until I just happened to linger after class to speak with the new instructor. We were exchanging "Mom" stories and I asked her how many children she had. She said she had two daughters and one son. I couldn't simply ignore the past-tense reference to having had two daughters (not my nature) and I told her how sorry I was for her loss. She thanked me and went on to tell me that her daughter was the one who had been brutally raped and murdered fours years ago...

I recognized the story immediately from following the case in the local news. (perp only received 35 years!!) I don't know if she saw the color drain from my face and my struggle to hold back the tears. I didn't want to lose control for fear she'd stop talking and/or regret opening up and sharing her story so, while I held back the tears, I listened and when she was done I told her that I thought she was an absolutely incredible woman/mother who I had the utmost respect and admiration for - her strength amazes and inspires me.

We parted with a hug and I walked away, inside praying that my feet could move just a little faster to get me to my vehicle. Once inside, unable to even put the keys in the ignition, the damn broke. The damn broke for her daughter Erin and it broke for Zahra. When I got home and logged on, the first post I saw was Oriah's and the mention of it being a year ago today that Shaniya was found and the video tribute...suffice it to say,
I've officially given myself permission to cry/sob/wail/scream the rest of the day today for all the precious lifes that have been wrongly and unjustly taken.
And now I will put "Hootie" in and crank up the volume...Let her cry, Let her tears fall down like rain...
 
It's never to early to bring this up.....One great way to feel like you are doing something for Zahra would be to pick an angel off of the tree for Christmas. Do it in Zahra's name and start replacing the sadness with joy..........:blushing:
 
What time is the memorial tonight? And does anyone know if our any of our locals are planning to attend? I'd like to feel like I could be there somehow, if just...I don't know...through them.
 
whew. Workday is almost over and I got much done, I did not linger here, I did not get weepy, and I stuck to my decision first thing this morning to celebrate Z's life. Cowoker and I discussed the case, even then I kept it under control.

Yay me. I wasn't sure I could do it.
 
Oh gosh, you guys... I really started the "HB" thread hoping that people would just have a place to post fond wishes for her on her US birthday... but I totally see how it is striking some of us. Now wishing the title was "Remembering Zahra on her Birthday" or something.

You are right--there is nothing "happy" about what has happened. But in that magical way that WSers have, posters have so far made that thread a tribute to Zahra's light and the good that she brought to this earth in the time that she was here. One poster shared a beautiful image of what Zahra's heavenly birthday might be like. (I don't even believe in heaven and I was in tears.)

Please know that while the HB thread title seems trite and in some ways horrible to some, the intentions behind it are only the best... :blowkiss:
Ynotdivein, I apologize for this reply is coming late, but I haven't had a chance to post until now. While I was at work today, thinking about Zahra and her birthday, I realized that I forgot to mention in my post this morning how much I admire the warmth and courage of everyone who posted in the birthday thread. Setting it up was a beautiful gesture on your part, and I'm sorry if my bitter grumblings gave you second thoughts. (((((((((ynotdivein))))))))
 
God, I thought I would never be as emotional as I was when I first encountered the Caylee Anthony case. Then there was Kyron, and now Zahra. Poor, sweet, Zahra. I am so crushed and depressed about this case. The police chief's words made me cry. Seeing two vigils in two different countries, seeing how many people love this child and only want to remember her light and love for life...I just feel so torn up...

I've never had emotional toll in case like this before now. I don't even want to hear what AB had to say. Nothing he says can make this better or explain why this happened. I don't think he or EB have begun to understand just what they did. I hope they rot in the hottest pits of hell when they get there. I hope they never leave their jail cells and get needles in their arms.

I didn't think I could hate anyone more than Casey Anthony or Terri Horman. But now there's two people I hate the most. I really do. If they get light sentences or get off on technicalities, I don't know what I will do. I cannot take them getting anything in their favor in this case, I just can't.

Maybe I need to step away for a bit, I don't know. Thanks for this thread, though. At least writing out my thoughts helps a little.
 
whew.

needed to step in here for a sec. or more. to get my anger under control before posting on any Z threads after reading AB's statement highlights.

Could not see it adn wanted to look at his face when he gave it.

I am very angry. I mean that white searing hot sort of anger.
 
deep breathing exercises. Deep cleansing breathes
 
I am behaving Oriah :) sigh. So glad this thread is here. TY for just letting me vent for a minute. This is not my first case. This is not the first time I have felt so connected to making sure right wins out.

But this one hs really reached a visceral part within me.
 
I am behaving Oriah :) sigh. So glad this thread is here. TY for just letting me vent for a minute. This is not my first case. This is not the first time I have felt so connected to making sure right wins out.

But this one hs really reached a visceral part within me.

tlcox, you have no obligation to behave for me. I'm no mod. :)

I truly know exactly how you feel and while SAR has been my life for years and years now, there are some cases that never leave you. Zahra's is one of them.

I am currently taking comfort in the fact that I firmly believe that when I posted on Shaniya's forum to whisper in our ear where another missing child in NC was... Shaniya heard and answered. The timing was perfect.

And I'm a skeptic at best, lol.

But something about all of this, and how it has come together, has changed me in a way that I want to hold onto forever.

It both comforts and confuses me. At the end of the day, I feel as if there's nothing that could convince a skeptic such as myself to feel anything other than perhaps these children find peace elsewhere in a way none of us will understand until we are there.

And then I think to myself, about asking Shaniya for help that morning. And I wonder what the universe holds for us, says to us, and listens to us.

Again- peace. I know where you are at because I am there too.
Oriah
 
It's never to early to bring this up.....One great way to feel like you are doing something for Zahra would be to pick an angel off of the tree for Christmas. Do it in Zahra's name and start replacing the sadness with joy..........:blushing:

I also think, given her cancer battle, a donation to the Make a Wish Foundation in her memory would be an excellent way to celebrate her life.


http://www.wish.org/
 
I rarely ever post here, but I do read all the time. I have followed several cases here, but I have to say this one really is hitting me very emotionally. I find myself watching the video of her getting her hearing aids and talking and I start crying every time.
I just want justice for her so badly!!! I can't really say what I think about the so called parents she had LOL.
I'm on antibiotics and pain meds for a very badly infected wisdom tooth, so I'm pretty much on the couch until I get better. I am reading on here constantly.
 
I rarely ever post here, but I do read all the time. I have followed several cases here, but I have to say this one really is hitting me very emotionally. I find myself watching the video of her getting her hearing aids and talking and I start crying every time.
I just want justice for her so badly!!! I can't really say what I think about the so called parents she had LOL.
I'm on antibiotics and pain meds for a very badly infected wisdom tooth, so I'm pretty much on the couch until I get better. I am reading on here constantly.

I would suggest to anyone here to explore the more relaxing parts of WS once in a while (the game room or the jury room, the book/cooking/pets forums) to take a breather between threads once in a while - it is a good way to release some of the emotion at times. We all know how enormous the weight of these cases can be, and I don't want anyone making themselves ill with grief.

You guys can always PM me or any other mod if things start getting too heavy on your hearts, and we'd be glad to talk with you.

We care about you guys because you care about others so much.

Please, take care of yourselves.
 
I also think, given her cancer battle, a donation to the Make a Wish Foundation in her memory would be an excellent way to celebrate her life.


http://www.wish.org/

There are so many...thank you for pointing posters in this direction.

The 1st I'm going with is www.campquality.org.au
Then...
www.gktw.org
www.candlelighters.org
www.makeachildsmile.org

I can bring up dozens if not hundreds, so this is just a short list. They all make a difference in the life of a child who suffered as Zahra did.

A wonderful birthday present for Zahra, I think.
 
There are so many...thank you for pointing posters in this direction.

The 1st I'm going with is www.campquality.org.au
Then...
www.gktw.org
www.candlelighters.org
www.makeachildsmile.org

I can bring up dozens if not hundreds, so this is just a short list. They all make a difference in the life of a child who suffered as Zahra did.

A wonderful birthday present for Zahra, I think.

Oriah, didn't you have the child cancer thread in the JR? (My apologies of my memory mis-serves me.) I think you should also post some of these things in there to give them as much exposure as possible. Giving some joy to these kids is one of the greatest things anyone can do.
 
Oriah, didn't you have the child cancer thread in the JR? (My apologies of my memory mis-serves me.) I think you should also post some of these things in there to give them as much exposure as possible. Giving some joy to these kids is one of the greatest things anyone can do.

Very possible, lol. It is a cause very close to my heart. I suppose I should search for that thread?
I will do so- and add to it (if I can find it, lol). In the meantime, I was thinking that people worldwide might want to know where to go to help children like Zahra, somewhere they can go to help put a big ole genuine smile on a childs face. :)
 
Very possible, lol. It is a cause very close to my heart. I suppose I should search for that thread?
I will do so- and add to it (if I can find it, lol). In the meantime, I was thinking that people worldwide might want to know where to go to help children like Zahra, somewhere they can go to help put a big ole genuine smile on a childs face. :)

If you go to your profile, under "stats", it will show you all the threads you have started.


ETA: Found it!

[ame="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118987"]Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community[/ame]
 

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