Emotional Toll

[ella971]

Remember to take deep breaths in and out and step away when you need to.Hugs to all.

 

[eyes4crime]

I'm outraged and disgusted by all aspects of this despicable crime that took our beautiful Zahra's life away. So outraged, that I can't move on, can't think clearly - I need to express my horror over the sick murder, rape, dismemberment, and about all the despicable people involved.

I AM OUTRAGED!!!!! This is the worst crime ever. My heart weeps for what our little Zahra was put through by so many. Her strong and beautiful spirit will live on forever.

:grouphug: to all those in this forum, it's not easy to be here right now.

 

[tlcya]

*passing a plate of brownies over*

I find chocolate helps.

 

[eyes4crime]

*passing a plate of brownies over*

I find chocolate helps.

thanks tlcox! Ahhhh, comfort food always helps. :blowkiss:

 

[NoeticSoul]

*passing a plate of brownies over*

I find chocolate helps.

Thanks for sharing

Is it me? Or does it seem like every day something unspeakable happens to a child...

<whispers> *Got a glass of Riesling to go with that chocolate?

 

[tlcya]

Thanks for sharing

Is it me? Or does it seem like every day something unspeakable happens to a child...

<whispers> *Got a glass of Riesling to go with that chocolate?

*wishing for a glass of Riesling now

No its not you. It takes its toll this forum. And yet I feel driven to witness these horid results of the worst side of human nature run amok. As if being around to hear the tree fall in the forest helps in some way??

Oh, I have never really taken an extended break in a year. Maybe its time.

*REALLY wishing for that glass now. Makes do with ice cold milk.

 

[nosysw]

*wishing for a glass of Riesling now

No its not you. It takes its toll this forum. And yet I feel driven to witness these horid results of the worst side of human nature run amok. As if being around to hear the tree fall in the forest helps in some way??

Oh, I have never really taken an extended break in a year. Maybe its time.

*REALLY wishing for that glass now. Makes do with ice cold milk.

You ladies are so classy. For me, I'll have some Wild Turkey on the rocks to go with that brownie. Wine just won't dull the pain of this one enough for me...

 

[Jacie Estes]

There is a combination of the personality of Zahra, a child who just lit up the world and the depravity of the situation that makes us just want to protect her but we can't. The frustration of that is difficult to absorb.

In my family we have had a cousin murdered at 16 and an in-law, male 30something murdered during a home invasion. Both of these were covered by media but neither one of these has affected me like Zahra's murder has. I had to take an exam today [Native law exam, not easy] during the entire time I was in the exam room I found myself shaking my head. My culture/belief tells me that she is eternal, that she has connection with her mother and that will never end BUT I believe she should still be on this Earth.

Zahra should be waiting for Christmas morning to open gifts, she should be excited about a school dance and her first boyfriend.

So many tears.

 

[Jacie Estes]

You ladies are so classy. For me, I'll have some Wild Turkey on the rocks to go with that brownie. Wine just won't dull the pain of this one enough for me...

ITA, it would take several Wild Turkeys, perhaps a whole flock, for me. This is something that I think will always be with us.

 

[Mountain_Kat]

Right about now, I'd like to scrub my entire computer with clorox bleach and a brillo pad.

I feel filthy just knowing the kind of searches my hard drive now contains.

 

[Jacie Estes]

Right about now, I'd like to scrub my entire computer with clorox bleach and a brillo pad.

I feel filthy just knowing the kind of searches my hard drive now contains.

My hope is that, finally, more effective laws will come from this case. It has shaken the psyche of this country. IMHO


btw, I love your profile pic, IIRC that was the sky the day of Zahra's b-day. I am not Christian but that pic is beyond borders

 

[simlyme]

I was so "verbal" with this case in the first month, I feel so drained now that I just cant stop saying " I'm sorry" "I'm sorry".

Ive taken breaks with hopes that this case will solve itself quickly, it hasn't and I feel like it never will, I feel numb and my daily life becomes paralyzed in some way over and over again,

I'm feeling like NOT enough is being done, I'm feeling like justice will never be served for our ANGEL Zahra,

I cant stop thinking of the pain that her Mommy must be suffering,

I really don't have any words left.

I come to WS now and can only read a short time,

Zahra, I'm so sorry they're still walking,and who knows for how long.

PLEASE, bring justice for Zahra SOON !!!!

 

[Mountain_Kat]

My hope is that, finally, more effective laws will come from this case. It has shaken the psyche of this country. IMHO


btw, I love your profile pic, IIRC that was the sky the day of Zahra's b-day. I am not Christian but that pic is beyond borders

I believe we are put on this earth for a reason, and our journey from "here" to "there" is what defines us. For some, the journey is powerful despite the fact that it was short, for others the journey might be very long, and yet still mean little. I like to think of this picture as a sign that Zahra's journey, while short, was viewed with great favor.

 

[LCoastMom]

This is what we saw written on the faces of the LEO's investigating this case - never have I seen LEO's, speaking in the line of duty look so defeated by humanity. When Capt Tom told us "We're running out of time, folks". Then the Amber Alert had been cancelled and the day he dreaded - telling us they believed they had recovered enough evidence to say they have found Zahra's remains - he and his fellow officers looked like they had been through a personal war - along with Zahra - shell shocked wasn't even close.

My heart hurts for these fine officers who spent weeks in the trenches, to find "Our Zahra". No one and nothing could have prepared the men and women for this case and God knows they never signed up for this. I wish there was something we could do to fix-it for them, I wish we could wake up tomorrow and discover this has all been a bad dream - that Zahra was safe in AU, with her mum who loves her - all this time.

I honestly thought our lil Shaniya's story would be the most horrific we would ever hear (a mother trading her baby for dope) - but these allegations just keep getting worse. How is it possible for a child to go thru so much to live, only to be dropped into this nightmare? How is it possible for anyone to treat a child with such callousness and cruelty? How is it that not one, but multiple cretans found each other in a small county in No Carolina and carried out this crime against nature? How is it possible for another child's father, a man, who lost his daughter to a brutal rapist - to say "This is the worst!"? How is it possible for so much depravity to exist and to be acted upon this (or any) precious child?

I have no doubt Zahra is a precious angel in Heaven, she is beyond all pain and this horror has been wiped from her consciousness, but we are not and I can't help but wish she never stepped foot in this country, wish her father (using that term lightly tonight) had never opened a computer and never met his soul mate. There must be a special place in h*ll for everyone connected to this crime and they will have all eternity to suffer for their actions, because there is nothing we can do, within the confines of the law - that even comes close to seeing justice for what Zahra suffered.

Zahra - may GOD and all his angels in Heaven hold you close and keep you in their hearts, because no one who was given that responsibility and blessing here on earth, carried it off worth a damn.

I'm sorry for the long rant, I've been holding this inside, since I saw the looks on Capt Adkins (and the officer standing behind him) faces - seeing, but not grasping what I was looking at, but also not being able to stop seeing the image, every time I close my eyes or even think about Zahra.

 

[Reannan]

*wishing for a glass of Riesling now

No its not you. It takes its toll this forum. And yet I feel driven to witness these horid results of the worst side of human nature run amok. As if being around to hear the tree fall in the forest helps in some way??

Oh, I have never really taken an extended break in a year. Maybe its time.

*REALLY wishing for that glass now. Makes do with ice cold milk.

Thank you TL for your comment. I was consumed with work today, and couldn't check out any news on anything. As I got in my car to drive home, the enormity of this case and several other recent cases hit me. I had to ask myself "why do I put myself thru this???" (I also questioned the sanity of my fellow WS'ers.... ) The answer I was able to come up with.... SOMEONE HAS TO CARE!!!! It is the least of what we can do. Thanks again for making me feel like I am not crazy, and helping me thru something my family doesn't understand at all....

 

[NoeticSoul]

This is what we saw written on the faces of the LEO's investigating this case - never have I seen LEO's, speaking in the line of duty look so defeated by humanity. When Capt Tom told us "We're running out of time, folks". Then the Amber Alert had been cancelled and the day he dreaded - telling us they believed they had recovered enough evidence to say they have found Zahra's remains - he and his fellow officers looked like they had been through a personal war - along with Zahra - shell shocked wasn't even close.

My heart hurts for these fine officers who spent weeks in the trenches, to find "Our Zahra". No one and nothing could have prepared the men and women for this case and God knows they never signed up for this. I wish there was something we could do to fix-it for them, I wish we could wake up tomorrow and discover this has all been a bad dream - that Zahra was safe in AU, with her mum who loves her - all this time.

I honestly thought our lil Shaniya's story would be the most horrific we would ever hear (a mother trading her baby for dope) - but these allegations just keep getting worse. How is it possible for a child to go thru so much to live, only to be dropped into this nightmare? How is it possible for anyone to treat a child with such callousness and cruelty? How is it that not one, but multiple cretans found each other in a small county in No Carolina and carried out this crime against nature? How is it possible for another child's father, a man, who lost his daughter to a brutal rapist - to say "This is the worst!"? How is it possible for so much depravity to exist and to be acted upon this (or any) precious child?

I have no doubt Zahra is a precious angel in Heaven, she is beyond all pain and this horror has been wiped from her consciousness, but we are not and I can't help but wish she never stepped foot in this country, wish her father (using that term lightly tonight) had never opened a computer and never met his soul mate. There must be a special place in h*ll for everyone connected to this crime and they will have all eternity to suffer for their actions, because there is nothing we can do, within the confines of the law - that even comes close to seeing justice for what Zahra suffered.

Zahra - may GOD and all his angels in Heaven hold you close and keep you in their hearts, because no one who was given that responsibility and blessing here on earth, carried it off worth a damn.

I'm sorry for the long rant, I've been holding this inside, since I saw the looks on Capt Adkins (and the officer standing behind him) faces - seeing, but not grasping what I was looking at, but also not being able to stop seeing the image, every time I close my eyes or even think about Zahra.

((((LCoastMom))))

:grouphug:

 

[salvarenga]

I just keep asking why? She went through SO MUCH and for what to meet that horrific end. Why? Why not just take her during her bout with cancer? Why let her make it through all of that pain only to meet the most horrific pain imaginable? Why?

I don't know why but tonight this is really bothering me. You just wanna stand up and do something....anything....but evil, pure evil is running amuck. How do we protect them from these monsters all around us?

 

[LCoastMom]

Right about now, I'd like to scrub my entire computer with clorox bleach and a brillo pad.

I feel filthy just knowing the kind of searches my hard drive now contains.

There were a lot of nervous jokes here early in the Caylee Anthony case - about the kinds of things LE would find on their computer, if someone from here was ever arrested - neck breaking, household items that could be used as weapons, certain illegal substances. Those items now all sound like kindergarden compared to the searches in this case - I can't even begin to wrap my mind around the depravity of the perps involved in this crime.

You know what, I've been using a clorox pop-up sheet on my mouse and keyboard, almost everyday - without thinking about why it feels so dirty all of a sudden. An ah-ha moment..

 

[Mountain_Kat]

Thank you TL for your comment. I was consumed with work today, and couldn't check out any news on anything. As I got in my car to drive home, the enormity of this case and several other recent cases hit me. I had to ask myself "why do I put myself thru this???" (I also questioned the sanity of my fellow WS'ers.... ) The answer I was able to come up with.... SOMEONE HAS TO CARE!!!! It is the least of what we can do. Thanks again for making me feel like I am not crazy, and helping me thru something my family doesn't understand at all....

That really sums it up for me, Reannan. I feel like every tear we shed, every gutteral wail wrenched from our chests, says to the world WE CARE! These children aren't our "hobby", they aren't just a headline we read and then move on to the next story...each and everyone one of these precious children are kept close to our hearts because we care enough to never again let them be lost.

I am blessed in that my husband hears my own personal pain. He knows that part of my own healing comes from being a voice for other children of neglect and abuse. But I always repay his kindess and compassion by hearing him too. For me, that means I need to accept that when he is being particulary vocal about the time I spend here, or expresses concern about my "moods", I need to be willing to listen with the whole of my heart, and make adjustments accordingly. (Yes, that is a hint of advice if needed or wanted.)

 

[Nana46]

Sigh............This one is tearing at my soul. In the last six days, my hubby's boss' son died in a tragic accident at 26, one of my best friends is critical in a coronary care unit and today we get a call from a Medical Examiner in Florida that my cousin was found dead in May. We have been searching for him for years.....he was 57. Somehow they tracked down my aunt to let the family know.. So we at least know he is not alive anymore.....that is more than we have known since he was 16. And now all these horrific details about precious Zahara. I am convinced there is an evil in this world that is rising each and every day. In some small way I feel I combat that somehow in coming here and being tortured by what these little people have to endure at the hands of poor scum. God help us all and give us strength to find a way to stop this crap now...children are here to be loved....not slain. And slain she was in the most horrific way:furious: