GA - Suspicion over heat death of Cooper, 22 mo., Cobb County, June 2014, #7

[x_files]

Slgihtly off topic but...Earlier today I was looking at facebook and left it up on the screen. My 6 yr old asked to play the computer. Remember I left facebook up I told him to close the tab and go play. When the screen woke up he noticed a puppy and read the sentence that went with the puppy out loud ( it was about puppies being left in the car while owners went shoping). Turns to me and says wouldnt them puppies get really hot in a car with no air condition? B/c if we go shopping its hot in the car when we get back in it, so hot I burn my butt. He asked if they at least had a frozen bottle of water to help cool the seats. (When we know we will be out for most of the day I will bring bottles of water that I froze and throw that in the seats with a towel over it so that when they got back in the buckles would not burn them. Only thing would be maybe a wet bottom.)

Not sure why adults do not get this when little kids understand how hot it gets in cars.

Average adults do get it. It's common sense. Unless RH and his wife have low IQ's or developmental learning disabilities they have a lot of explaining to do!

 

[NancyA]

Been there and it's very difficult to leave a NPD they are very controlling abusive and manipulative people.
It takes years to fully understand why the heck did I stay?!!

Emotional and mental abuse is just as damaging, debilitating and insidious as physical abuse. You're not alone, millions of other victims of abuse at the hands of a spouse are unable to answer that question and they shouldn't have to feel shame or attempt to justify why they stayed to those who have no idea what it's like. They often lie so effectively for the abuser through fear and to keep up appearances, it's no wonder many around them don't believe it's possible about 'such a nice guy' when the truth comes out. It is not the victims' fault, but they have been conditioned to the extent they are convinced that they are the ones at fault and if only they do 'this' differently and change 'that' about themselves the abuse will stop. How many times have we heard "oh he doesn't mean it, it's my fault, I push his buttons. I know he really loves me..."?

 

[SStarr33]

I listen for clues in speech patterns - aside from cultural regional variations etc pretty darn easy to ''hear a liar''.....that's all I am going to say. Listening revealed far more to me than written word in this case listening to the link

Unless I missed something, the people in the audio interview are not mentioned in the written story.

 

[charminglane]

If I see a baby in a hot car, to hell with 911. I'm breaking the damn window and then calling 911. I don't care. Sue me.

Sorry for the language. This stuff is just really upsetting and scary.

Totally with you on this. Going out to put a brick in a kitchen towel in my car right now. For Cooper.

Also, I HAVE looked up how long it takes for animals left in cars to die. I am a Librarian, and now that the weather has warmed up, idiotic people leave their animals to cook. I go through the whole building to find the owners, shouting out "Who does the dog in the hot car in the sun belong to?!?!"

Just going to call the sheriff or break the window now. No courtesy call first.

 

[hopingicanhelp]

Exactly - the wives may say that AFTER the divorce. Prior to, they can be completely taken in and in denial for years, partly because there is a sense of shame that reinforces the denial every time you start to realize what your spouse may truly be like. IME

I couldn't agree more.

To clarify, we don't "know" that Ross is a narcissist -- we're just speculating. But for those who think that those closest to a narcissist are always the ones who see it first, that's just not true. There are a LOT of good resources out there if you want to google them that give you red flags & warning signs, patterns of behavior, etc -- one site even has a section called "Narc Speak" and how to interpret what the narcissist really means when he is saying something.

I have been personally involved with a narcissist and let me tell you what quesarita said is SO true. You are ashamed because you feel so stupid for having been played so many times - and it has nothing to do with how smart you are or how much common sense you have. They know how to push your buttons, how to charm you, how to work your guilt -- until you wise up and have the strength to cut off all contact. Most of the time, you have to be so worn down by then that you are either extremely angry & disgusted with the person or just... numb and "done." I can honestly say that relationship felt like an addiction.

Just a footnote... narcissists do really, really well in the media and in garnering public sympathy (especially from the public who has had no experience with narcissists).

JMO

 

[seattlechiquita]

Does anyone know many kids have been saved by putting them in the back seat vs those that have died due to forgetting them? A quick search found nothing on the first two pages.

Thousands if not millions have been saved. How do I know? Because every time one child dies inside a car, we hear about it. Be it heat, accident, etc. We hear about it.

 

[popsicle]

I watched that documentary and read the same article. I thought her comments were cold. She maybe have developed a hard shell in order to cope with everything or doesn't have the same amount of empathy as others do. A type of brain malfunction or form of psychopathy. Doesn't mean she killed her child, but just doesn't respond to guilt the same as others may.

Apparently she is that way.. her lawyer wouldn't put her on the stand because of that.

 

[x_files]

Emotional and mental abuse is just as damaging, debilitating and insidious as physical abuse. You're not alone, millions of other victims of abuse at the hands of a spouse are unable to answer that question and they shouldn't have to feel shame or attempt to justify why they stayed to those who have no idea what it's like. They often lie so effectively for the abuser through fear and to keep up appearances, it's no wonder many around them don't believe it's possible about 'such a nice guy' when the truth comes out. It is not the victims' fault, but they have been conditioned to the extent they are convinced that they are the ones at fault and if only they do 'this' differently and change 'that' about themselves the abuse will stop. How many times have we heard "oh he doesn't mean it, it's my fault, I push his buttons. I know he really loves me..."?

I caught myself making excuses why he was abusive to me. His female friends even ganged upon me and said I deserved to be hit for talking back to him.
crazy. I am glad to be far away from him but I have severe PTSD and nightmares to this day. He still stalks and harasses me and my family. He knows no bounds and thinks he is above the law. He is fearless. He was officially diagnosed NPD/psychopath by a psychiatrist appointed by the court.

EDIT: That's why I will reserve my opinions on LH art the moment, she maybe a victim of domestic abuse.

 

[Ladylub]

Average adults do get it. It's common sense. Unless RH and his wife have low IQ's or developmental learning disabilities they have a lot of explaining to do!

Just today I have read 4 seperate incidents where these adults left them in cars thinking it was okay except one who was forgotten b/c parents are drugheads : a 6 month old, a 21 month old, several kids ranging from 6 months ( I want to say) to 6 yrs old and of course the puppies. So common sense must not be all it takes anymore.

 

[newone]

Unless I missed something, the people in the audio interview are not mentioned in the written story.

there are several links to that article and I did listen to an interview with one of the families concerned in the article

 

[x_files]

Just today I have read 4 seperate incidents where these adults left them in cars thinking it was okay except one who was forgotten b/c parents are drugheads : a 6 month old, a 21 month old, several kids ranging from 6 months ( I want to say) to 6 yrs old and of course the puppies. So common sense must not be all it takes anymore.

I wonder if all these parents have normal IQ levels or are addicts? yikes!
Maybe we should be teaching this to children in school to pass onto their parents!

 

[newone]

I caught myself making excuses why he was abusive to me. His female friends even ganged upon me and said I deserved to be hit for talking back to him.
crazy. I am glad to be far away from him but I have severe PTSD and nightmares to this day. He still stalks and harasses me and my family. He knows no bounds and thinks he is above the law. He is fearless. He was officially diagnosed NPD/psychopath by a psychiatrist appointed by the court.

EDIT: That's why I will reserve my opinions on LH art the moment, she maybe a victim of domestic abuse.

thank you -- you are not alone -- some of us have alluded to the same view...
this last ''act'' (meaning the death of the son) constitutes IMO another act of dv in addition to the obvious c/a

 

[PigPong]

there could be some issues with his being charged for sure depending on his company's policy.

I understand (I could be so wrong) that some employers would take a dim view of an employee even being charged with an offence like this.

I've lurked these boards for a long time but never registered until now. I don't know how many of you are from Georgia, but we are "fire at will." As long as race, age, religion, or gender aren't the issue (and it's not a whistle blower situation) Home Depot can fire him with no reason given.

Unless he is a contract employee, which I doubt.

 

[SuperTmo]

SuperTMO, you and your mother should be so proud of what you did for that baby! The outcome could have easily been very different.

These kind of incidents make me heartsick as well. Typically these incidents are truly horrible accidents--a loving, devoted parent who is distracted or whose routine has changed "spaces out" about the baby in the back. Those parents are devastated. My heart breaks for the child and for the parent; I count my lucky stars that I am not in their place.

In your case and a minority of others, the caregiver leaves the child in the carseat through ignorance, indifference, or intent. And then I'm incensed! Sadly, I think Cooper's death falls into this category.

Keep in mind what you and the first responders did for the child you posted about. You all saved her life and you also improved her chances at a happy life. In the best case scenario, the baby's parent was unaware and learned to make sure the baby was in the care of a responsible adult at all times. The rescue put the baby on child protective service's radar, so others outside her immediate circle were checking on her safety and well-being too.

Thanks, Bodhi. Seriously, it was one of the most traumatizing things I've ever experienced. I was sure she was dead and I kept my cool until they got her out and then I lost it when I saw that she was alive. She wasn't on the scene long because they transported her immediately (I assume to try to bring down her temperature). I remember the guy said that he was going to sue me and the FD over the broken window and the battalion chief told the dad that he couldn't wait to be served. Haha.

 

[SStarr33]

Just today I have read 4 seperate incidents where these adults left them in cars thinking it was okay except one who was forgotten b/c parents are drugheads : a 6 month old, a 21 month old, several kids ranging from 6 months ( I want to say) to 6 yrs old and of course the puppies. So common sense must not be all it takes anymore.

I saw a child left alone in a car and called 911. The mom and her mother came to the car before the police got there and were pissed that I butted into their business. The figured she would be ok because they were not going to be gone long.

 

[Ociboys]

First of all, who has a standing ovation at a child's funeral. Unheard of. My heart breaks for that poor child who may have suffered a unbearable death.

Has it been verified Cooper was seen at breakfast? If not…parents expressed they slept with him the last 2 nights. Could they have staged this if something terribly went wrong at home while sleeping with him?

I'm of the opinion dad knew what he was doing, so was Cooper here on earth or not at this time he was put in the car. Regardless, the negligence IMO deserves punishment. There are no accidents when infant, toddler, young one dies while in the care of any adult. You are held to a higher standard to care and protect those who have no voice and no ability to protect themselves from harm. Child care 101: You just don't leave a child out of sight..even for a minute without risking grave consequences. Im not talking terminal illnesses, SIDS, asthma attacks and whatever else would be unimaginable. MOO and I'm sure many do not agree.

 

[NancyA]

I caught myself making excuses why he was abusive to me. His female friends even ganged upon me and said I deserved to be hit for talking back to him.
crazy. I am glad to be far away from him but I have severe PTSD and nightmares to this day. He still stalks and harasses me and my family. He knows no bounds and thinks he is above the law. He is fearless. He was officially diagnosed NPD/psychopath by a psychiatrist appointed by the court.

EDIT: That's why I will reserve my opinions on LH art the moment, she maybe a victim of domestic abuse.

I'm so sorry you went through that, you should give yourself enormous credit for having the courage and resilience to get away from him - sadly, so many don't.

 

[newone]

Thanks, Bodhi. Seriously, it was one of the most traumatizing things I've ever experienced. I was sure she was dead and I kept my cool until they got her out and then I lost it when I saw that she was alive. She wasn't on the scene long because they transported her immediately (I assume to try to bring down her temperature). I remember the guy said that he was going to sue me and the FD over the broken window and the battalion chief told the dad that he couldn't wait to be served. Haha.

Did you ever hear about the subsequent charges going to court and what penalty he faced?

 

[SuperTmo]

If I see a baby in a hot car, to hell with 911. I'm breaking the damn window and then calling 911. I don't care. Sue me.

Sorry for the language. This stuff is just really upsetting and scary.

If the fire station hadn't been 2 blocks away I would have broken it myself. It would have taken longer for me to find something to break a window with than it took to get rescuers there with their tools to do it. I had just bought my car and had nothing in it! It didn't even have a spare tire or a jack or anything. However NOW I have this in my car glove box, so I'm prepared for next time (or for a car accident, etc.).

http://smile.amazon.com/Seatbelt-Cu...ref=lh_ni_t?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A2AJCTQ78LZ5OH

 

[tlcya]

I've lurked these boards for a long time but never registered until now. I don't know how many of you are from Georgia, but we are "fire at will." As long as race, age, religion, or gender aren't the issue (and it's not a whistle blower situation) Home Depot can fire him with no reason given.

Unless he is a contract employee, which I doubt.

:welcome: to the site and the conversation!